The place where you lost my sympathy was where you picked up the next bottle just because someone had bought a bucket of beers.
You know what? Those beers would have poured nicely down the drain and cost about $5 in wasted beer.
Now if your story is real, you've poured your life down the drain. I hope that beer was damn good.
I've had way too many functional alcoholic family members and friends who had all sorts of excuses as to why they picked up that bottle and poured another drink down the pie hole.
And none of them were truthful when confronted. The reality is, you wanted to drink. And you wanted to drink more than you wanted to be a grown up and not drink in a profession where it's well known that if you drink and drive, your career is over, and knowing you were your family's only breadwinner.
I think for that last reason alone, we're being trolled again. But if not, you are in a world of crap of your own making. Rationalization and excuses won't change that you chose to put the bottle in your face, and pour.
Sorry. No sympathy here. I have my own vices that can revoke my flying privs (smoking) that I'm still (stupidly) choosing to partake in, but even I as a recreational pilot know the FAA doesn't screw around with alcohol and I've never met a professional pilot who didn't know that fact either.
Get on the phone with a professional like Doc and do what they say if your story is real. And get off the Internet. This stuff lasts forever and is archived in lots of places.
The more details you provide about a real situation here, the more likely one of the people bound and determined to make sure you never set foot in a cockpit again without years of treatment if ever, will connect the dots and find the whole back story they need to make their case for certificate revocation.
Bare your soul somewhere you at least have some chance of privacy.
