Captain Bryan's Checkride Advice

SixPapaCharlie

SixPapaCharlie

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1. Expect to fail. Nationwide, about 90% of applicants pass on the first try, so leaves you. Look around. Everyone is getting their pilot's license. Seems like 90% or more are doing it.
Your instructor signed you off so he could have a day of flying without you scaring the hell out of him. Just for 1 day.

2. Call your instructor and ask him out for a beer the night BEFORE. This guy taught you to fly and its time to celebrate.

3. Drink some coffee.

4. Cram as many post-its as you can get into your FAR AIM and pop some no doze. you're going to be up late.

5. Grab a smoke.

6. Watch all of the MzeroA youtube videos again. Write a "tomato flames" on the back of your hand. -- Bring a LOT of extra cash. Money talks and it can get you out of a bind.
Remember your DPE is human and everyone has a price.

7. Tequila shot.

8. You’re going to screw this up and you know it. The examiner knows it, and it doesn’t have to end the ride. I'm not saying you need to pack heat but I'm also not not saying it.
What’s important is not whether your DPE fails you, but how you deal with him – whether he recovers and continue flying is up to you.

9. Ex-lax

10. You're going to make some minor mistakes. Let the DPE correct them so he feels powerful and so the outcome of the maneuver is never seriously in doubt. If you start to get high
on your first steep turn the DPE will pass you. He knows you are high and it would be unfair to judge someone who is impaired using the same standards as an individual that
doesn't require "treatment for his glaucoma"
If it gets hot try not to sweat. It is a sign of weakness stay dry and you'll pass with "flying colors" (a rainbow term, actually). If you see the maneuver will exceed
parameters and not be smoothly recoverable, fake a heart attack but then quickly recover. Nobody is going to fail a guy with a heart condition.

11. More Coffee

12. During the oral, offer him a drink or try to distract him by pointing out the window and screaming "I think that plane just crashed!" The examiner will be
impressed that you are concerned about other pilots and can tell if a plane is in trouble and he will pass you.


13. Splash cold water on your face.

14. Avoid this conversation:
Examiner - Q: Do you need to use the restroom?
Applicant - A: I have to go #2, I've had a ton of coffee.
Examiner - Q: Do you need to use the restroom?
Applicant - A: I also had a lot of water, and a couple of beers
Examiner - Q: Do you need to use the restroom?
Applicant - A: No?
Examiner - Thank you.

One of the hardest things to do when you’re nervous and pumped up is to not **** yourself. I've watched people pee into a corner while incorrectly answering a question that was
never asked, or rupture their appendix straining to keep from peeing. If the examiner wants you to go to the lav, he'll tell you.

15. Clench.

16. All questions are meant simply to trip you up so the examiner doesn't have to fly with you. If the examiner asks how far below the cloud deck you are, just ask "What clouds?"
ONLY take your flight test on a clear day.

17. Relax. Just kidding NEVER RELAX!

18. Remember the first rule of Italian driving is: "You don't talk about Italian Driving." Don't worry about how you did the last maneuver or question. If you didn't do it well enough,
the examiner will fail you and terminate the checkride. Brandish your iron, demand your cash back, and ask him if he brought a parachute. This is when he will tell you it was just a joke.
Focus on distracting the examiner as much as possible. Also you can cover your altimeter and flag your gauges as inop. He can't fail you if he can't confirm the readings on the panel.

19. Relax and take a leak. You've earned it.

Six Papa Charlie, CIA, ATF, Veteran of 11 near misses, including 4 with FAA inspectors


So I guess this should be a sticky.
 
Last edited:
I've found, for the oral, a good offense works. Just keep drilling him with zingers. If the DPE never has a chance to ask his own questions, how can you fail?

If he does happen to get a question in, just respond "How can you not know this???"
 
Stuff the check ride idea. Photoshop or otherwise a forge an existing certificate. Nobody ever looks at the thing anyway and the FAA will never get around to issuing them with a photo as required by law.

Cheers
 
SixPapaCharlie said:
1. Expect to fail. Nationwide, about 90% of applicants pass on the first try, so leaves you. Look around. Everyone is getting their pilot's license. Seems like 90% or more are doing it.
Your instructor signed you off so he could have a day of flying without you scaring the hell out of him. Just for 1 day.

2. Call your instructor and ask him out for a beer the night BEFORE. This guy taught you to fly and its time to celebrate.

3. Drink some coffee.

4. Cram as many post-its as you can get into your FAR AIM and pop some no doze. you're going to be up late.

5. Grab a smoke.

6. Watch all of the MzeroA youtube videos again. Write a "tomato flames" on the back of your hand. -- Bring a LOT of extra cash. Money talks and it can get you out of a bind.
Remember your DPE is human and everyone has a price.

7. Tequila shot.

8. You’re going to screw this up and you know it. The examiner knows it, and it doesn’t have to end the ride. I'm not saying you need to pack heat but I'm also not not saying it.
What’s important is not whether your DPE fails you, but how you deal with him – whether he recovers and continue flying is up to you.

9. Ex-lax

10. You're going to make some minor mistakes. Let the DPE correct them so he feels powerful and so the outcome of the maneuver is never seriously in doubt. If you start to get high
on your first steep turn the DPE will pass you. He knows you are high and it would be unfair to judge someone who is impaired using the same standards as an individual that
doesn't require "treatment for his glaucoma"
If it gets hot try not to sweat. It is a sign of weakness stay dry and you'll pass with "flying colors" (a rainbow term, actually). If you see the maneuver will exceed
parameters and not be smoothly recoverable, fake a heart attack but then quickly recover. Nobody is going to fail a guy with a heart condition.

11. More Coffee

12. During the oral, offer him a drink or try to distract him by pointing out the window and screaming "I think that plane just crashed!" The examiner will be
impressed that you are concerned about other pilots and can tell if a plane is in trouble and he will pass you.


13. Splash cold water on your face.

14. Avoid this conversation:
Examiner - Q: Do you need to use the restroom?
Applicant - A: I have to go #2, I've had a ton of coffee.
Examiner - Q: Do you need to use the restroom?
Applicant - A: I also had a lot of water, and a couple of beers
Examiner - Q: Do you need to use the restroom?
Applicant - A: No?
Examiner - Thank you.

One of the hardest things to do when you’re nervous and pumped up is to not **** yourself. I've watched people pee into a corner while incorrectly answering a question that was
never asked, or rupture their appendix straining to keep from peeing. If the examiner wants you to go to the lav, he'll tell you.

15. Clench.

16. All questions are meant simply to trip you up so the examiner doesn't have to fly with you. If the examiner asks how far below the cloud deck you are, just ask "What clouds?"
ONLY take your flight test on a clear day.

17. Relax. Just kidding NEVER RELAX!

18. Remember the first rule of Italian driving is: "You don't talk about Italian Driving." Don't worry about how you did the last maneuver or question. If you didn't do it well enough,
the examiner will fail you and terminate the checkride. Brandish your iron, demand your cash back, and ask him if he brought a parachute. This is when he will tell you it was just a joke.
Focus on distracting the examiner as much as possible. Also you can cover your altimeter and flag your gauges as inop. He can't fail you if he can't confirm the readings on the panel.

19. Relax and take a leak. You've earned it.

Six Papa Charlie, CIA, ATF, Veteran of 11 near misses, including 4 with FAA inspectors


So I guess this should be a sticky.
Click to expand...

Your take on Cap'n Ron's check ride advice? :p
 
Sam D said:
I've found, for the oral, a good offense works. Just keep drilling him with zingers. If the DPE never has a chance to ask his own questions, how can you fail?

If he does happen to get a question in, just respond "How can you not know this???"
Click to expand...

Depending on the DPE you can do that. During the oral for my commercial, the DPE asked if it was legal for me to do something and I responded with "no, because I don't have a commercial certificate yet." He laughed pretty good and rephrased the question. Of course, it was my 3rd check ride with him, so he knew me pretty well by then.
 
My DPE did half of my maneuvers while in slow flight. She said if the stall horn stopped sounding during turns and altitude changes I would fail. Of course, that was a long time ago now it is reversed.
 
I’ve done 3, 5, and 11 on every checkride.

And I probably should have done 2 more often. Not going to learn anything you didn’t know already the night before anyway.

LOL.
 
SixPapaCharlie said:
1. Expect to fail. Nationwide, about 90% of applicants pass on the first try, so leaves you. Look around. Everyone is getting their pilot's license. Seems like 90% or more are doing it.
Click to expand...
If you ask 9 pilots if they passed on their first try and they all said "yes" then you're screwed.
 
I feel like the advice is missing a ton of Top Gun comments. Like is the DPE Goose or Maverick?
 
EdFred said:
Depending on the DPE you can do that. During the oral for my commercial, the DPE asked if it was legal for me to do something and I responded with "no, because I don't have a commercial certificate yet." He laughed pretty good and rephrased the question. Of course, it was my 3rd check ride with him, so he knew me pretty well by then.
Click to expand...

Wait, he'd already done two checkrides with you, and agreed to a third?

Shows poor judgement. ;) :rofl:
 
Probably why he's no longer a DPE
 
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