Broke my back and need HELP.....

Does it get better if you stay in bed for extended periods of time?
Reason I ask is you have this issue but you post about still doing heavy lifting.
That can't be helping at all.


No it does not get any better with bed rest. I know I do way to much I always have. But its nothing as to what I use to do. Like I said I am having a very hard time doing nothing. I still go out and push my airplane around and do other things when I can. I can not sit and do nothing for the rest of my life. That is not any quality of life, might as well be dead. Now because I say this do not think I want to die, for I don't. But on the other hand that may not be a such a bad thing. I have used up my time on this earth, my time has come and gone. A waste of resources is what I am. No I am not feeling sorry for myself, just living in reality. 54 and I must do nothing and have been told for over 10 years I should be doing nothing. I want everyone to try that. Its sounds great, do nothing what a life. Just try it. Lay looking at the ceiling and do nothing.

I know from what I went through with my neck that this can be repaired. It should have been done over 10 years ago. But because I have no money and insurance that lacked I have had to deal with this for years. Its just not right. We do not make animals live like this but we make humans suffer. I am done suffering.

Could this be my fault for not doing nothing, maybe. But I sure if it was anyone else they would be doing as I do and trying to live a life of some sort with some meaning besides staring at the ceiling for the rest of my years. How many years do I have left, maybe 10,20,30. No way I am laying on my back for the years I have left. Try it and let me know how you like it.

We treat animals better.

Tony
 
The doctors told me over 12 years ago. This is what I was told.

We want you doing what a 92 year old woman would do for you have the bones of a 92 year old woman.

I looked at the doctor and started laughing. If he really believes I am living my life as a 92 year old at the age of 42, at the time I was 42, these doctors was nuts.

The doctor does not want me lifting a gallon of milk, again I laughed when he said this, for I knew that was never happening. At 42 I can not lift a gallon of milk, now I am 54 and its even worse then before.

Not sure what to do, but hope for an operation. I did my part, spent money on new insurance so I can get this operation, now lets see if it gets done.

Tony
 
Tony, I have read most but not all of this thread with interest, so if my idea has been said before, I apologize. Many years ago before I became a professional pilot I had a background in Psychology and worked at a 24 hour crisis phone call in center, in your neck of the woods actually in So. Illinois. I wonder if a place like that would do you more good than trying to get help on a board like this. Not meaning that this is not helpful for you, but you may get more immediate relief at a place like that. I know they are widespread, some with toll free numbers. I hope you take this message for what I intend it to be, as a helpful resource for you. Best to you. Glenn
 
Tony, I have read most but not all of this thread with interest, so if my idea has been said before, I apologize. Many years ago before I became a professional pilot I had a background in Psychology and worked at a 24 hour crisis phone call in center, in your neck of the woods actually in So. Illinois. I wonder if a place like that would do you more good than trying to get help on a board like this. Not meaning that this is not helpful for you, but you may get more immediate relief at a place like that. I know they are widespread, some with toll free numbers. I hope you take this message for what I intend it to be, as a helpful resource for you. Best to you. Glenn


In the early 90's I went to see my doctor telling him that something was wrong with me. I told him my bones hurt. This was after already crushing my t6 and fracturing another lower in my back.
The doctor looks me in the eye's and tells me he has no idea what I am talking about my bones hurting, he has never heard such a thing. He wants to sent me to see someone. He sends me to a head shrink or Psychologist.

These people tell me this is all in my head from abuse I suffered from parents and others as I was growing up. They wanted to blame everything on the condition I was in, never looking at maybe I did have a problem.

Jump forward to 2002 and this same physicians group now claims I have Osteoporosis. The Doctor tells me my bones are going to hurt. I look at this man and said I have been complaining of this for over 20 years and when I told the doctor about this he sent me to see a shrink. This doctor says nothing.

If someone would have listened to me 20 some years ago maybe today I would not be in the shape I am now.

So please explain to me what these people will do for me? I do not need a head shrink, I need medical help thank you very much.

Tony
 
Well, my ex's 92 yo grandmother is still rocking around pretty good, but she uses tools to assist her in work. Look at something like a Sidewinder drive (you could build one cheap and easy if you want a light project to do.) instead of pushing your plane around leveraging off you skeleton.
 
Tony

You have a computer. Take online courses - Harvard and other schools have huge number of free courses. Keep your mind occupied. Take some of those courses, then get free-lance jobs you can do from home.
 
In the early 90's I went to see my doctor telling him that something was wrong with me. I told him my bones hurt. This was after already crushing my t6 and fracturing another lower in my back.
The doctor looks me in the eye's and tells me he has no idea what I am talking about my bones hurting, he has never heard such a thing. He wants to sent me to see someone. He sends me to a head shrink or Psychologist.

These people tell me this is all in my head from abuse I suffered from parents and others as I was growing up. They wanted to blame everything on the condition I was in, never looking at maybe I did have a problem.

Jump forward to 2002 and this same physicians group now claims I have Osteoporosis. The Doctor tells me my bones are going to hurt. I look at this man and said I have been complaining of this for over 20 years and when I told the doctor about this he sent me to see a shrink. This doctor says nothing.

If someone would have listened to me 20 some years ago maybe today I would not be in the shape I am now.

So please explain to me what these people will do for me? I do not need a head shrink, I need medical help thank you very much.

Tony

I wasn't suggesting you don't need medical help, still seek it. I was suggesting that a friendly ear might help relieve the tension. And these folks are not "Shrinks", most are trained para-professionals who do a good job at listening.
 
Tony

You have a computer. Take online courses - Harvard and other schools have huge number of free courses. Keep your mind occupied. Take some of those courses, then get free-lance jobs you can do from home.

One of the best idea's I have heard yet. I am looking for something like this. I miss working so very much. People tell me all the time from looking at me all I want to do is collect SS. I tell them you know you are right, I made close to 80K a year before I became ill, now I receive 900 a month. I love making 900 a month. Who needs extra money?

I wasn't suggesting you don't need medical help, still seek it. I was suggesting that a friendly ear might help relieve the tension. And these folks are not "Shrinks", most are trained para-professionals who do a good job at listening.

I kinda got that after sleeping on it. Great Idea. I worry about being labeled depressed. I went through this with my primary doctor. She kept say, you are depressed. I kept saying no I am not. She said how can someone in your shape not be depressed. I said I am not depressed just in bad shape. Depression is a state of mind. I stay out of that state of mind. Look to things like this board to keep me going along with family friends and what few hobbies I am able to do.

As for moving my airplane, I have been looking for something to help with this. I keep seeing those little tugs come up for sale, they just cost way to much for me to afford. I thought about a riding mower and might go this route. The hard part, I really can not do much and finding someone to help me work on it is kinda tough. Everyone wants their hand greased to do anything. Not enough friends I guess.

I have a hangar mate who keeps asking me if I need help moving my airplane. I always say no. If I can not move my airplane I should stop flying for what will I do when I land and he is nowhere around. I must be able to do this by myself.

Thanks again to everyone for caring enough to post here no matter what has been said I thank you for just posting.

Tony
 
I spoke with my back doctor yesterday. He is going to operate on my back after the first of the year. With my neck after the surgery I felt so much better. I am hoping for the same outcome with this surgery. I do wish I had the same doctor who did my neck, but that is not happening.

Tony
 
A glimmer of hope... prayers for relief in the new year!
 
I saw the doctor yesterday. I go in for a Discogram before he operates. Something about making sure the upper and lower disc can take the extra wear and tear from a fusion.
At first he said he wanted to go in and clip the protruding or bulging disc. He said more then likely it will rupture again for its ruptured now. I told him no way I was going through that. I want a fusion. He agreed a fusion is needed but he is worried my body today can not take it.
Later this week they are going to call and let me know when I go in for this discogram.
I kinda feel bad for the doctor. I see he really cares and wants me to feel better, but with my condition his hands are kinda tied. I understand this.
Osteoporosis really is a silent killer.

Tony
 
I saw the doctor yesterday. I go in for a Discogram before he operates. Something about making sure the upper and lower disc can take the extra wear and tear from a fusion.
At first he said he wanted to go in and clip the protruding or bulging disc. He said more then likely it will rupture again for its ruptured now. I told him no way I was going through that. I want a fusion. He agreed a fusion is needed but he is worried my body today can not take it.
Later this week they are going to call and let me know when I go in for this discogram.
I kinda feel bad for the doctor. I see he really cares and wants me to feel better, but with my condition his hands are kinda tied. I understand this.
Osteoporosis really is a silent killer.

Tony
Good luck Tony. I sure hope this helps.
 
Good luck Tony. I sure hope this helps.

Thanks ever so much. I hope it helps too, for if it don't, its time for most activates to stop. I am fighting this tooth and nail, but it is what it is.

Tony
 
In the early 90's I went to see my doctor telling him that something was wrong with me. I told him my bones hurt. This was after already crushing my t6 and fracturing another lower in my back….

Jump forward to 2002 and this same physicians group now claims I have Osteoporosis. The Doctor tells me my bones are going to hurt. I look at this man and said I have been complaining of this for over 20 years and when I told the doctor about this he sent me to see a shrink. This doctor says nothing.

...If someone would have listened to me 20 some years ago maybe today I would not be in the shape I am now.

Bones are living tissue, and undergo remodeling. They are constantly being torn down and rebuilt. The rebuilders and cells called osteoblasts that live in little holes in your bones. Everyone has them (the holes go by a cool name called lacunae). The cells that tear down bones are rolled osteoclasts, and everyone has them too.

In healthy bone that rate at which osteoblasts built and osteoclasts remove bone is either balanced or responding to skeletal loads. In some people one or the other predominates, though. For example, these cells are under some degree of hormonal control, I'm not even certain anyone understands why or how. In many older women the rate at which the osteoclasts remove bone exceeds the rate at which osteoblasts make it, and their bones become, like yours, less robust.

This is obviously the case in your body. The balance between these processes has gone askew, from genetics or some environmental insult I truly can't say. What I can say is it is not correctable, nor was it in the 90's. Had your physicians realized the truth of your condition earlier it would have made no difference at all. If they could cure osteoporosis there'd be a lot of little old ladies lined up to get it.

All this said, this is not the end of your life or anything near it. Stephen Hawking can do far less than you, yet look at what he's done. There are numerous people with horrible physical limitations making their lives and the lives of those around them better. Manning up isn't about physical prowess or durability. Its about mental toughness and working with what you've got.

These guys have made some good suggestions, and from what you've written here I suspect you have the wherewithal to implement them. Good luck with your operation, I hope it can afford you some pain relief. From your descriptions I suspect that pain relief is going to be the name of the game for you, and not so much mobility and physical ability. You MUST get that through your head. Yeah, you have the body of a 92 year old. You have the mind of 55 year old, and if you're smart you might actually have the lifespan of one.
 
Bones are living tissue, and undergo remodeling. They are constantly being torn down and rebuilt. The rebuilders and cells called osteoblasts that live in little holes in your bones. Everyone has them (the holes go by a cool name called lacunae). The cells that tear down bones are rolled osteoclasts, and everyone has them too.

In healthy bone that rate at which osteoblasts built and osteoclasts remove bone is either balanced or responding to skeletal loads. In some people one or the other predominates, though. For example, these cells are under some degree of hormonal control, I'm not even certain anyone understands why or how. In many older women the rate at which the osteoclasts remove bone exceeds the rate at which osteoblasts make it, and their bones become, like yours, less robust.

This is obviously the case in your body. The balance between these processes has gone askew, from genetics or some environmental insult I truly can't say. What I can say is it is not correctable, nor was it in the 90's. Had your physicians realized the truth of your condition earlier it would have made no difference at all. If they could cure osteoporosis there'd be a lot of little old ladies lined up to get it.

All this said, this is not the end of your life or anything near it. Stephen Hawking can do far less than you, yet look at what he's done. There are numerous people with horrible physical limitations making their lives and the lives of those around them better. Manning up isn't about physical prowess or durability. Its about mental toughness and working with what you've got.

These guys have made some good suggestions, and from what you've written here I suspect you have the wherewithal to implement them. Good luck with your operation, I hope it can afford you some pain relief. From your descriptions I suspect that pain relief is going to be the name of the game for you, and not so much mobility and physical ability. You MUST get that through your head. Yeah, you have the body of a 92 year old. You have the mind of 55 year old, and if you're smart you might actually have the lifespan of one.


I love this. Thanks for posting this.

Tony
 
I love this. Thanks for posting this.

Tony

You are of course welcome. The chief thing to my mind is that your misdiagnosis in decades past did not materially affect your current condition. There was nothing they could have done to correct it.

You will have to get it out of your head that you are a physical being. You are no longer. Picking things up, pushing them around, physicality is no longer your thing. Stick to this and you'll have less pain, which is now the driving factor of your life.

You'll have to maintain weight control with diet, you can't do exercise except for the most low impact forms. It can be done, it just means you don't eat as well or as much, or a combination of the two. Do start listening to doctors and follow their limitations. Think about what a 90 year old can do.

That doesn't mean your life is over or that you can't contribute to the well being of those around you. It just means that you won't be doing it physically. Your life isn't over, it has just changed. It has been said here before but bears repeating, for every door that closes one opens.

Good luck.
 
You are of course welcome. The chief thing to my mind is that your misdiagnosis in decades past did not materially affect your current condition. There was nothing they could have done to correct it.

You will have to get it out of your head that you are a physical being. You are no longer. Picking things up, pushing them around, physicality is no longer your thing. Stick to this and you'll have less pain, which is now the driving factor of your life.

You'll have to maintain weight control with diet, you can't do exercise except for the most low impact forms. It can be done, it just means you don't eat as well or as much, or a combination of the two. Do start listening to doctors and follow their limitations. Think about what a 90 year old can do.

That doesn't mean your life is over or that you can't contribute to the well being of those around you. It just means that you won't be doing it physically. Your life isn't over, it has just changed. It has been said here before but bears repeating, for every door that closes one opens.

Good luck.

Again I thank you so very much for taking the time to respond and your advice, I will be taking it and using it. A membership to a club with an indoor pool and going a few times a week might be just the thing I need. I keep saying if I could loose a few pounds I would feel better. My weight is not bad but could be better. 6'1 and 184. I would like to be 160 lbs.

I should here from the doctor tomorrow on the discogram.

Thanks again

tony
 
I saw the doctor yesterday. I go in for a Discogram before he operates. Something about making sure the upper and lower disc can take the extra wear and tear from a fusion.
At first he said he wanted to go in and clip the protruding or bulging disc. He said more then likely it will rupture again for its ruptured now. I told him no way I was going through that. I want a fusion. He agreed a fusion is needed but he is worried my body today can not take it.
Later this week they are going to call and let me know when I go in for this discogram.
I kinda feel bad for the doctor. I see he really cares and wants me to feel better, but with my condition his hands are kinda tied. I understand this.
Osteoporosis really is a silent killer.

Tony

Tony - as one who had 4 back surgeries in 2014, you have my empathy. One warning about the discogram if you've never had one; they intentionally hurt like hell. Hang on and enjoy the ride is the best advise I can offer. Best of luck.
 
Again I thank you so very much for taking the time to respond and your advice, I will be taking it and using it. A membership to a club with an indoor pool and going a few times a week might be just the thing I need. I keep saying if I could loose a few pounds I would feel better. My weight is not bad but could be better. 6'1 and 184. I would like to be 160 lbs.

I should here from the doctor tomorrow on the discogram.

Thanks again

tony

You are again completely welcome. Mere words on an internet forum take little effort, but can perhaps yield value beyond their worth. If you've access to a pool then yes, swimming is an excellent low impact exercise.

And I've about 10 lbs to loose myself.
 
When I was told what the deal was with me and that I would never again work, I was determined to prove this to be wrong.

After the wife and I left the doctors off I told my wife that I was not stopping anything. They have pain meds and I will live on these and work. Being I lost everything including my job what work was I going to do. I always wanted a hot rod. So I told the wife I am building me a hot rod.

I have the doctor put me on some pain meds and off to work I go. Its not long and the pain meds are not helping. Doctor trying to keep me comfortable ups my script.

Then its back to work. Pain gets worse now we change pain meds. Back to work. pain gets worse and the dose is upped. Back out to the garage, back tot he doctor, more pain meds.

I end up a few times in the hospital, once in ICU. As soon as they release me I go straight out to the garage. Back to work.

Then I end up at my doctors telling him we need to up these meds. I was on some heavy stuff, suckers and all. Doctors say thats it this stops now.

I was ****ed, I mean I was ****ed. The only way I was doing anything was because of these meds. I needed those pain meds. But nope he takes them all right there on the spot.

Now what do I do. I do what I should have been doing from day one, I do nothing. I take a seat in the living room in front of the TV. This will be my life I must get use to it.

So here I set and even doing this I want to scream, but never again will I ever take any pain meds. One starts to feel better then one does things one should not be doing.

Here is what I built.
 

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When the wife and I got back from the doctor after he pulled all my pain meds I walked straight out to the garage and sold my truck.

Here is a short video I made so i could sell it. Its shaky for I could barely walk.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HRhDrt87ojY

I won two first place trophies with this truck. One being the Nationals held in Peoria IL.

I built this in 4 months. Parts of the body I rattle canned the paint. I told no one and no one could tell the difference. Those trophies I won where at car shows.
 
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Great work!
Since I don't know your specifics I'll ask the question...has any discussion been had regarding radio frequency ablation to mitigate pain? It won't fix a damn thing but for me the pain relief was a blessing. Like you, more of a blessing was getting off the opiates.
 
How long ago was it that he pulled your pain meds?
There have been quite a few doctors around here that got jail time for being too loose with the prescription pain killers. This got a lot of doctor's attention and caused a lot of people to suffer when drugs they needed were denied.

Beautiful truck by the way.

When I was told what the deal was with me and that I would never again work, I was determined to prove this to be wrong.

After the wife and I left the doctors off I told my wife that I was not stopping anything. They have pain meds and I will live on these and work. Being I lost everything including my job what work was I going to do. I always wanted a hot rod. So I told the wife I am building me a hot rod.

I have the doctor put me on some pain meds and off to work I go. Its not long and the pain meds are not helping. Doctor trying to keep me comfortable ups my script.

Then its back to work. Pain gets worse now we change pain meds. Back to work. pain gets worse and the dose is upped. Back out to the garage, back tot he doctor, more pain meds.

I end up a few times in the hospital, once in ICU. As soon as they release me I go straight out to the garage. Back to work.

Then I end up at my doctors telling him we need to up these meds. I was on some heavy stuff, suckers and all. Doctors say thats it this stops now.

I was ****ed, I mean I was ****ed. The only way I was doing anything was because of these meds. I needed those pain meds. But nope he takes them all right there on the spot.

Now what do I do. I do what I should have been doing from day one, I do nothing. I take a seat in the living room in front of the TV. This will be my life I must get use to it.

So here I set and even doing this I want to scream, but never again will I ever take any pain meds. One starts to feel better then one does things one should not be doing.

Here is what I built.
 
Just a thought. Consider teaching yourself to program.
It is possible to make a descent living sitting on your couch doing that.
 
Just a thought. Consider teaching yourself to program.
It is possible to make a descent living sitting on your couch doing that.
That's a good idea. I'm considering retiring soon and I'm going to need something to do beside flying, going to the gym and working on the house and yard. I used to be a pretty good programmer, but I'm not sure there is much call for Cobol, VAXC, BAL or DCL any more. What languages and platforms do you suggest, and do you have any suggestions for getting started? I have had quite a few ideas for smart-phone apps, but had no idea about how to get started.
 
That's a good idea. I'm considering retiring soon and I'm going to need something to do beside flying, going to the gym and working on the house and yard. I used to be a pretty good programmer, but I'm not sure there is much call for Cobol, VAXC, BAL or DCL any more. What languages and platforms do you suggest, and do you have any suggestions for getting started? I have had quite a few ideas for smart-phone apps, but had no idea about how to get started.

Look for COBOL jobs first. I know a guy that came out of retirement because a company still had some of that ancient stuff around and none of the kids knew what to do with it. He was getting paid very well.

As far as what to learn, I would check the local community colleges and see what they are churning out. Java developers are highly compensated but MS .NET jobs are far more plentiful. If you can learn C#, you can find work.

For fun, I would learn a language and then open an account on freelancer.com doing little projects for a few bucks here and there.
I have a guy I outsourced a very small project to 4 years ago. he was good and a friend and I started a small business and we have been paying this guy to do the development for 3 years now. If you do good there, you might get a longer term gig. who knows.
 
That's a good idea. I'm considering retiring soon and I'm going to need something to do beside flying, going to the gym and working on the house and yard. I used to be a pretty good programmer, but I'm not sure there is much call for Cobol, VAXC, BAL or DCL any more. What languages and platforms do you suggest, and do you have any suggestions for getting started? I have had quite a few ideas for smart-phone apps, but had no idea about how to get started.

Google is your friend if you're interested in programming for tablets and phones. You'll want to pick either iThingie or Android platform (I know, Windows is coming.) For IPhone/iPad there is an Apple development system called Xcode. It's free but getting setup in the app store costs something. (Jesse does this successfully and can chime in with more details.)

Having said all that, based on my 30+ year programming career, the real value to be provided (and presumably rewarded for) is where a programmer understands something other than programming and can apply computer automation to help folks do whatever the other thing is. It's the cross discipline world where you get remarkable results. Formal engineering has a lot of time dedicated to Requirements Analysis. This is a formal way of understanding the problem to be solved and where computer programmers very often miss the boat because they don't really understand the problem. Teach a pilot to program and you get very useful apps like Jesse's WnB Pro.

Just my $.02 based on turning problems into code for a very long time.

John
 
My father in law gets botox injections to the nerves in his back to help with the pain from his MS. Not sure if something like that can help with you, but it might be an option.
 
My father in law gets botox injections to the nerves in his back to help with the pain from his MS. Not sure if something like that can help with you, but it might be an option.

Plus you will look stunning. :)
 
How long ago was it that he pulled your pain meds?
There have been quite a few doctors around here that got jail time for being too loose with the prescription pain killers. This got a lot of doctor's attention and caused a lot of people to suffer when drugs they needed were denied.

Beautiful truck by the way.

First thanks for all the comments.

I was on those pain meds for 7 years, I have been off them for 5 years . The doctor was doing his best. I never told him that I was working in my garage, I would just tell him I was in pain. He did his best to manage it for me. I did my best to keep from doing nothing. Anyway its not the doctors fault but mine. When I went into his office wanting a drug cocktail that was the end, and I am so much better for it.

I like the idea of Programing. In the 80's I taught myself how to use DOS. Went to the library and got all the books I could find on what DOS was and how to use it. I was just getting into the config. system when windows came out. When windows came out I never used dos again.

But right now I spend 75% of my 24 hour day in bed. I am able to stay upright for about 3-4 hrs, then I must lay down. Just setting does nothing, I have to get the weight off my back or spine, the only way to do it is prone on my back for a few hrs, then up for some time, then back to bed.

Hopefully this will change, but I do understand the more I do the less time I have in the upright position. Someday I will never get out of bed again. I am not looking forward to that day.

Tony
 
Went in for the Discogram yesterday. I must say that really sucked. The surgeon told me I have the worst disc he has ever seen. I laughed and told him that makes two doctors who have told me this. One for my neck and now for my back.
I am having some problems from this, my head hurts and getting kinda worse. I might have to go back into the hospital. This just started today.
Surgeon also told me he found the results they expected and needed to go forward. I find out what that is Monday morning.
Now back to bed.
 
Does he think he can help?

Yes we talked about a couple options but my doctor on Monday will go over everything in detail.
I must say I was so impressed with the staff and surgical team. One man stood next to me and talked in such a calm voice it really helped. That was one tough test. I never want to ever go through that again. Almost as painful as crushing a vertebrae.
Thanks again for all the comments. Good bad or otherwise.
Back to bed.
Tony
 
They checked three vertebrae. The bottom or lowest is completely blown out, the next one above it is in good shape. The one above that is in poor condition.

Because of these results surgery may not be my best option. It might be best just to live the way I am.

Leaving it alone for now and going to try and get in a pool more, maybe every other day. Join a gym and see how this goes. If I do go for surgery at least I tried everything else and then it will be fall instead of the end of the winter going into spring.

Tony

P.S. Insurance will not pay to have the disc's replaced. The doctor said this type operation costs to much for me to pay out of pocket.
 
I found me a new dr. and I really like her. She sat down with me for over an hour and went over everything. She is sending me to another back surgeon. She told me it should be the surgeon who contacts the insurance about my medical needs not the patient.

Results from my Diskogram.
 

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I was also told these problems I am having have nothing to do with my Osteoporosis. All these problems are caused because I have a connective tissue disease called Marphan's.

They found I had this when I was around 8 or 9 years of age. My hands hung down past my knee's. I looked like a monkey or ape. Most who have this disease have heart problems. I have never had heart problems, but this new doctor is sending me to a cardiologist just to be sure. She told me all my connective tissue's are failing or something like this.

I will post updates as I find out if anyone cares to see or hear about this. If I do find out my heart is falling apart I will never fly again.

Tony
 
I care. Please excuse this question if it seems strange.

Do you own a plane? Could you sell it to help pay for medical bills?

Take care.
 
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