And once again 2 pilots and 4 cabin crew put on their uniforms, said goodbye to their loves ones and never made it back home’.
I can’t help but feel so lost and in so much pain when these tragedies strike, only because I know what the crew were feeling. I know what they would have been doing because I have been in their heels a thousand times before.
When these things happen I always call my mom and I reassure her that what I said on day one, when MH370 was lost, If God forbids on that day something happens, this is what I loved.
Every flight attendant knows the risks, we know that when we arm that door this could be it, this could be that day. In Training College our trainers constantly throw scenarios at us, on that day this is what you will have to face, on that day this is the choice you have to make, on that day you are responsible for keeping your crew and your passengers alive. It’s a heavy responsibility to shoulder.
They showed us the good stories, the things we call miracles. They showed us those accidents, the ones that are tragedies. We laughed in class and we turned our faces away to hide the tears. Names of crew live on in me, heroes and heroines that I admire, women and men who either gave their lives to give their passengers a chance or sacrificed their lives to give information to the those on the ground knowing that they wouldn't make it through.
I can’t speak for these crew, I am not a voice for them. But I can tell you what I feel, I can tell you how I love my job, how only this morning I looked out from my jump seat at my sleeping passengers and thought, I hope the best for you. The couple snuggled up on their honeymoon, the family with the little girl in front of my jump seat, even the passenger who was in a bad mood, I care about them all. The realization is always a little shocking, when I start to go through disaster scenarios on my jump seat before landing. How I would give my life to save them all, if it means the little girl in seat 32c could grow up to live a happy life, if the honeymoon couple could have that baby they were telling me about, even if my picky passenger could go home to his wife. It wouldn't even be a question on my mind.
So I can’t speak for those crew that have been lost to this world. I can’t tell you their regrets or their joys, I can only tell you that I've been there. I've been fearful at times, I've gripped my rosary a little too tight in my pocket. I've held the hands of my fellow crew and I've always been grateful that I say my I love yous before my plane takes off. And I’m always blessed and thankful to reach the ground.
The sky is a home for us. It’s our calling. It’s the thing we were born to do. Some choose the land to love and the sea to call home but for those special few the sky is our domain. It’s where we laugh and play and work and forget all the trouble on the ground. It’s the one place in this world we still feel safe, through turbulence and trouble, it’s our safe zone.
So to my brothers and sisters that have been taken away, I know you haven’t died, you've only flown higher than we can follow. One day we will all meet again and laugh in the galley. Until that day we carry on with our safety checks, we carry on our security search, and we carry you in our hearts, Truly you are gone but never lost to those that remember you.
The sky is yours forever to roam and to call an eternal home.
I answered a lot of late night phone calls from seriously crazy people growing up, my dad was clinical director of psychiatry for the State of Missouri for 20 years, I had a phone in my room, he didn't, and our number was listed.
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