Why are females never to blame for anything?

Timbeck2

Timbeck2

Final Approach
Joined
Nov 4, 2015
Messages
9,167
Location
Vail, Arizona
Display Name
Display name:
Timbeck2
Having lived in a house with three females, all of them by choice I'll admit, well not much choice in the twin part but I digress. NOTHING is ever their fault. If something breaks it "fell off the table" or "fell over." or "it just broke." The latest:
One of my daughters, Lauren of the 22 year old dynamic duo of Meagan and Lauren, and I had this conversation a few minutes ago.

Lauren - "Daddy, what's wrong with the microwave?"
Me - "Nothing, why?"
Lauren - "When I close the door it's doing something."
Me - "What?"
Lauren - "It's making a noise."
Me - "What did you do to it? Did you try to use it?"
Lauren - "Yes. Are you saying that I broke it?"
Me - "I'm not saying its broken but was it making this noise before you tried to use it?"
Lauren - "No."
Me - "Is there anyone else in the house?"
Lauren - "No."
Me - "Then who else could it be?"

They're both in their last semester of college getting their degrees in Psychology (another decision I wasn't invited to) and Lauren wants to be a flight attendant, Meagan wants to sell real estate.
 
Last edited:
Forgot to mention that their mom has her Master's in Psychology/Counseling and I found some literature the other day that suggests she may be thinking about her PhD. They ALL test daddy quite a bit. Daddy spends a lot of time at the hangar.
 
While the more common occurrence is to break a machine, sometimes machines do break of their own accord. Stuff breaks as it gets older. That's the idea behind the annual inspection fo our aircraft.

Still, I have to feel for the OP. One female around the house is more than sufficient for my tastes. The one bit of good news I think I can pass on is with luck the OP will be back to one in the not too distant future. That of course comes with perils of its own...
 
They’ve learned the art of reverse psychology!
 
Last edited:
steingar said:
While the more common occurrence is to break a machine, sometimes machines do break of their own accord. Stuff breaks as it gets older. That's the idea behind the annual inspection fo our aircraft.

Still, I have to feel for the OP. One female around the house is more than sufficient for my tastes. The one bit of good news I think I can pass on is with luck the OP will be back to one in the not too distant future. That of course comes with perils of its own...
Click to expand...

This particular microwave was a Christmas present for the wife. It's less than a month old but it is quite a bit more complicated to learn all it's features than the old one it replaced. Nobody but "daddy" bothers to read the manual to anything so everyone comes to me when it "breaks." :rolleyes:
 
Timbeck2 said:
This particular microwave was a Christmas present for the wife. It's less than a month old but it is quite a bit more complicated to learn all it's features than the old one it replaced. Nobody but "daddy" bothers to read the manual to anything so everyone comes to me when it "breaks." :rolleyes:
Click to expand...
One of the reasons I tend to refrain from the purchase of overly sophisticated appliances.
 
My favorite line, "I didn't mean for that to happen."
 
In my house, one female's "over sophisticated" is my "that's nice and better than the old one."
 
Would this be a good time to bring up Aziz Ansari and Abby Nierman?

(I'm in for a 30 day ban now, for sure.)
 
I can relate.

#1 question - what do you mean by broken. Is it giving you any feedback? Is it doing nothing, or just not what you want it to do? Is it on fire? Is it killing puppies? Be specific as to what "broken" is.

#2 question - what did you want to happen when it started doing the answer to #1?

#3 question - what EXACTLY did you do, step by step, that you thought would result in the answer to #2?

No less than 30 minutes later, I'll be lucky to have an answer to #1......
 
Timbeck2 said:
This particular microwave was a Christmas present for the wife. It's less than a month old but it is quite a bit more complicated to learn all it's features than the old one it replaced. Nobody but "daddy" bothers to read the manual to anything so everyone comes to me when it "breaks." :rolleyes:
Click to expand...

If you need a manual to use this new microwave I'm on the girls' side. This is your fault. YOU bought the wrong microwave!
 
Of course its MY fault. Everything is MY fault. I invented gravity, I bought the thing, etc. But the odd thing is that I wasn't the one to pick it out. My females don't worry about the operation of the "thing" they just worry about how it matches the other appliances in the kitchen.
 
steingar said:
The one bit of good news I think I can pass on is with luck the OP will be back to one in the not too distant future. That of course comes with perils of its own...
Click to expand...

Oh yes. It. Does.
 
Timbeck2 said:
Nobody but "daddy" bothers to read the manual to anything so everyone comes to me when it "breaks." :rolleyes:
Click to expand...

I'm a compulsive manual reader, get a new car, microwave, whatever, I RTFM. My wife is a button pusher, just starts messing with the thing, then comes to me with "why is it doing THAT?" I reply, "Well, if you read the manual" and then BOOM!

When the stars go away I show her how to do it.
 
Bill Jennings said:
I'm a compulsive manual reader, get a new car, microwave, whatever, I RTFM. My wife is a button pusher, just starts messing with the thing, then comes to me with "why is it doing THAT?" I reply, "Well, if you read the manual" and then BOOM!

When the stars go away I show her how to do it.
Click to expand...

Sounds familiar.
 
Hope they enjoy the last year of college. It’s all down hill from there :)
 
My favorite:

Wife: I can't get the ____ to work.

Me: Ok, let me check it out. (I start to experiment to see what symptoms it is demonstrating so I can formulate a theory of what's wrong and how to fix it.)

Wife: I DID that already! Why do you think I'm an idiot?!?
 
mscard88 said:
I probably warned you if you announced it on here. Too late now though, eight months in you're in for the duration.
Click to expand...

In all honesty it's actually one of the best things I've ever done. But still!
The twins comment has me thinking... I don't know if I can afford one, much less two!
And she's on the computer right now looking at cruises for the honeymoon. She's gonna break me financially!
 
overdrive148 said:
In all honesty it's actually one of the best things I've ever done. But still!
The twins comment has me thinking... I don't know if I can afford one, much less two!
And she's on the computer right now looking at cruises for the honeymoon. She's gonna break me financially!
Click to expand...

Just beginning my friend, just beginning. Buckle up and try to enjoy the ride.
 
Timbeck2 said:
Lauren wants to be a flight attendant, Meagan wants to sell real estate.
Click to expand...
Soooo, we can assume Lauren is the pretty one and Megan is the smart one? (knows where the money really is, in legal extortion of willing clients)

Sorry, we can't help you, you are outnumbered. (even without the daughters, you'd be grossly outnumbered, you are married, have you forgotten???) :D
 
My wife and our three daughters hate my usual response to them when they ask why something doesn't work, "User error." :D

The vast majority of the time I'm right. As in I then use the device and it works fine. Occasionally the device doesn't work; batteries, power, something, maybe it actually broke or wore out.
 
This went in a different direction than I’d thought. ....I too have identical twin girls...in their 20’s. Bless your soul my friend. o_O
 
Last edited:
Timbeck2 said:
They're both in their last semester of college getting their degrees in Psychology (another decision I wasn't invited to) and Lauren wants to be a flight attendant, Meagan wants to sell real estate.
Click to expand...

... because we all know that psychology degrees are mandatory for flight attendants and realtors?

And two young ladies about to finish their bachelor's degrees that call their father "Daddy." What do their Psych profs have to say about that?
 
PPC1052 said:
My favorite:

Wife: I can't get the ____ to work.

Me: Ok, let me check it out. (I start to experiment to see what symptoms it is demonstrating so I can formulate a theory of what's wrong and how to fix it.)

Wife: I DID that already! Why do you think I'm an idiot?!?
Click to expand...


Its_a_Trap.jpg

Don't answer that question!
 
Why are females never to blame for anything?

I have no opinion.........

Says the guy with a "my fault" marriage.

(45 years. Would have done less time for murder.)
 
Was there a fork in the microwave?
 
Ravioli said:
... because we all know that psychology degrees are mandatory for flight attendants and realtors?

And two young ladies about to finish their bachelor's degrees that call their father "Daddy." What do their Psych profs have to say about that?
Click to expand...

I see you live in Fort Worth. You're probably not from Fort Worth. There's probably more grown women in Texas that call their father daddy than any other state. It's pretty common in the South and I'm from the South. :dunno:
 
BigBadLou said:
Soooo, we can assume Lauren is the pretty one and Megan is the smart one? (knows where the money really is, in legal extortion of willing clients)

Sorry, we can't help you, you are outnumbered. (even without the daughters, you'd be grossly outnumbered, you are married, have you forgotten???) :D
Click to expand...

They're identical.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top