Funniest thing you've heard on the radio?

This isn't an aviation related radio conversation, but funny nevertheless...

I'm a part-time bus driver for CyRide - Ames/ISU City Transit Bus system...

The other day, I was headed westbound, when I heard the eastbound bus on my route call dispatch:

RED3: "Red 3, Base."
BASE: "Base, go ahead."
RED3: "Red 3, There is a car blocking the intersection of Lincoln Way and Hickory. It looks like it's overheated."
BASE: "10-4. Were you able to get around the car in the road?"
RED3: "10-4. It won't be a problem for eastbound buses, but westbound will need to move to left lane to get around it."
BASE: "10-4."

... 2 minutes later ...

RED3: "Red 3, base."
BASE: "Base, go ahead."
RED3: "10-4, that car that was stalled in the intersection wasn't overheating...... It's on fire now."
BASE: "[pause] 10-9!? (repeat)"
RED3: "Uhhh.. Yeah, that car is on fire now. Nobody is in or near the car."
BASE: "Red3, confirm you just said the car IS ON FIRE?"
RED3: "Uhhh... Yeah.... Black smoke and orange flames are coming from under the hood." (Nice way of saying "DUH, I know how to tell when a car is on fire!!")
BASE: "10-4." (We can talk to Ames Police on radio, so Base can give them a direct call when necessary.)
BASE: "Base, Red3. Can you give a description of the car?"
At this point, I know that EVERYONE listening to the radio had the exact same thought go through their head - "Uhhh.. Yeah, it's the one in the middle of the road and ON FIRE!" I have to give credit to the driver, he handled it very well...
RED3: "Uhhh... Yeah.. [pause because I KNOW he wants to say what we're all thinking] It's a purple Intrepid."
BASE: "[pause because he just realized what a stupid question he just asked] 10-4."
 
CJones said:
BASE: "[pause] 10-9!? (repeat)"
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OMG. You guys actually know (and use!) the 10 codes? Heck, truck drivers don't even use anything except for 10-4 anymore, with the occasional "What's your 20?" thrown in (but I've never heard anyone say "10-20").
 
flyingcheesehead said:
OMG. You guys actually know (and use!) the 10 codes? Heck, truck drivers don't even use anything except for 10-4 anymore, with the occasional "What's your 20?" thrown in (but I've never heard anyone say "10-20").
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I don't know why everybody who has a radio thinks they need to use them, either. I guess to sound cool?

It's really bad when you have to listen to those folks who clearly don't understand the purpose of those codes. The idea is to cut down on radio chatter, not to say "uum 10-4 ok we copy" :rolleyes:

-Felix
 
flyingcheesehead said:
OMG. You guys actually know (and use!) the 10 codes? Heck, truck drivers don't even use anything except for 10-4 anymore, with the occasional "What's your 20?" thrown in (but I've never heard anyone say "10-20").
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Yeah.. It's pretty lame. We only use a select few and after a bit of research, I have come to realize that our versions don't mesh with the police use 10-codes. i.e. 10-77 = "negative" for us but means "ETA" or "Hijacking" for Police. Rumors are floating that we will be making a move away from ten-codes in the not-so-distant future. The ISU Campus Police has already made the move away from most 10-code usage.
 
CJones said:
Yeah.. It's pretty lame. We only use a select few and after a bit of research, I have come to realize that our versions don't mesh with the police use 10-codes. i.e. 10-77 = "negative" for us but means "ETA" or "Hijacking" for Police. Rumors are floating that we will be making a move away from ten-codes in the not-so-distant future. The ISU Campus Police has already made the move away from most 10-code usage.
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I believe there's been a nationwide move away from them because of the non-standardization. As they've started to do more inter-agency scenarios, they realized that they were leading to too much confusion. I'm sure one of the LEOs here could provide confirmation.
 
gprellwitz said:
I believe there's been a nationwide move away from them because of the non-standardization. As they've started to do more inter-agency scenarios, they realized that they were leading to too much confusion. I'm sure one of the LEOs here could provide confirmation.
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Lot's of federal grant money tied to discontinuing 10 codes after 9-11 and Katrina. Some still use a few, but most are moving away from them. They vary so much from agency to agency anyway, I always hated them.
 
Late this evening, on 5 mile final to runway 16 at HPN:

HPN Local: "Cessna One Three Two Three Xray, uhhhh, you're indicating faster than the Citation."

Me: "Wooooah."

HPN Local: "Yeah, you don't get told that too often, do ya?"

Citation: "Yeah, but we can approach at 402 speeds in this Sovereign."

Me: "I'll take it as a compliment. Just keep letting me think I'm special."

...followed shortly by one of the best landings I've ever made (day or night). I was indicating 115 'til 3 DME since I had already racked up 2.5 on the hobbs and was just about done for the night.
 
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Hate digging up old threads, but Gil and I heard this when we went flying today. Made both of us chuckle.

Pilot: "Ah New York, can you say that again? You've got a scratchy mic today."

ATC in a NY accent: "Nah, I just have a really scratchy voice today."
 
Yesterday, a student and I flew from CXO to GLS using flight following along the way. We stayed at 1,500 MSL in order to remain VFR. At one point, my student called out traffic at 11:00, about five miles. I told him "Good catch!" About thirty seconds after, the controller called us with the same information. I told him the student saw it so the controller congratulated the student which brought a smile.

Coming back, I really wanted to be higher so leaving Galveston, I asked if we could have climb on top at 6,000. The controller laughed and said, "That ain't happenin'." I laughed and told him he can't blame me for trying. He responded with, "If I cleared you up there, I'd be hunted down and you would be a moving road block."

We did get cleared to 2,000 and later handed off to a different controller than we had coming down. It turns out that controller was handling the final vectors into Bush Intercontinental and we'd be directly in the path and on altitude for arrivals into 26 and 27. We saw a few as we passed off the IAH 090 radial.
 
I was listening to JFK tower last night, and a pilot flew in and just started addressing one of the controllers by name without talking at all before that. They seemed to be good buddies, and somehow knew when the each other worked.
 
rubber314chicken said:
I was listening to JFK tower last night, and a pilot flew in and just started addressing one of the controllers by name without talking at all before that. They seemed to be good buddies, and somehow knew when the each other worked.
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That's more common than you may hear. On top of that, many of these guys fly at local airports together.

We have two customers who are controllers and one is a part time instructor through MEI but mostly does IR training.
 
For some reason, I got put in front of a SkyWest jet on approach to KMSN tonight - I was flying an Archer, and fighting a 40-knot headwind! :eek: They also had me intercept the localizer about 20 miles out. The SkyWest flight, well... I don't know why they put me in front of him, 'cuz here's what they had to do to him to let me in first:

web.jpg


:goofy:

And they got a speed restriction at the beginning of all that too! :D

But here's the funny part - At the end of my time with the approach controller, he said "83F, pedal as fast as you can, contact tower now 119.3." :rofl:
 
The other querstion I have...Kent, you flew an archer?!?!?!?!
 
"Estherville traffic, Archer xxxx is left downwind for - whoa! there went a bird! - left downwind for, uh, 34..."

I was in the pattern at KFRM, and had to wait a bit for my next announcement so I wouldn't laugh at that on the air.
 
I was doing pattern work one breezy day and a friend had been out in his Stearman giving his grandson a ride. As things worked out, I was turning final as the Stearman was landing, so I witnessed and heard the following:

About the time the Stearman got the tailwheel on the ground, it became obvious that the Stearman had a stuck mic:

Grandson: "Great landing Grandad"

Grandfather: "We're not done yet, we're still rolling. WoooaaAAAAA"

The "WoooaaAAAAAA" came as the Stearman executed a slow motion 90 degree partial groundloop. No damage resulted and I didn't bother to even kid my friend about it until years later.
 
Some dude in a "Cessna one-seven-two" called KC approach from somewhere out north, and finally got around to saying he was landing at Kansas City. The controller figured he probably wasn't going to MCI, so he asked him if he wanted the weather for "Kansas City Downtown." Dude said no, he'd like to have the weather "down at the airport."
 
jmaynard said:
"Estherville traffic, Archer xxxx is left downwind for - whoa! there went a bird! - left downwind for, uh, 34..."

I was in the pattern at KFRM, and had to wait a bit for my next announcement so I wouldn't laugh at that on the air.
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that would be Archer 33764, which was my first ride as an instructor.
 
I once flew through Salt Lake in a 180. Being Canadian, our registrations are a little different. Let's call this one C-FICA.
"Salt Lake, Canadian Cessna 180 Charlie Foxtrot India Charlie Alpha 20 miles north at 6500 enroute Provo." (I don't remember the exact altitude or distance out. Long time ago.) You Americans, just try saying "Charlie Foxtrot India Charlie Alpha."

Salt Lake: Click. Female voice. "Canadian Charlia Indie Fox..." Click.
Salt Lake: Click. "Canadian Charlie Foxtrot Alphia Indie Char..." Click.
Salt Lake: Click. "Canadian Charlia Indie Foxtrot Charlia Alphi..." Click.
Salt Lake: Click. Laughter in background. "Canadian 180, cleared through the airspace..."

Just a week or two ago we were bringing a 172 From Florida back here to Canada, and ran into similar mixups in a few places. The controllers kept adding "November" to the C- sign, getting especially confused with the November already in the middle of the Canadian call sign. Hilarious. "Canadian November Charlie Foxtrot..."

Dan
 
Had the controllers at DTW Detroit as the NWA 757 if he had the Fokker aircraft in front of him in sight. He gigled and answered , " I have the Fu_ker in site" . Then spontaneously the other aircraft all stated they aslo had the "Fu_ker in site . Everybody was cracking up including the controllers. When cleared to land the Fokker driver replied . " Fu_ker XXX ,cleared to land !!!!!! :D
 
I didn't actually hear this but I do remember hearing this on POA somewhere:

SR71: Center, Requesting FL600,
Center: Cleared to FL600, If you can get up there.
SR71: We're descending.
 
Dan Thomas said:
I once flew through Salt Lake in a 180. Being Canadian, our registrations are a little different. Let's call this one C-FICA.
"Salt Lake, Canadian Cessna 180 Charlie Foxtrot India Charlie Alpha 20 miles north at 6500 enroute Provo." (I don't remember the exact altitude or distance out. Long time ago.) You Americans, just try saying "Charlie Foxtrot India Charlie Alpha." --snip--
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I love listening to controllers try to say foreign tail numbers; you can definitely tell they're used to memorizing numbers, not letters! Especially when it's the plane's first call, you can tell when the poor controller has a strip for them and when they're just trying to go off memory. It always seems to take 20 mins for them to get the tail number out!
 
Today was apparently the day when all 01Ns decided to go flying.

Seriously, it was just bizarre. We had 3 different planes that ended with 01N, including another Bonanza, all within one hour. One controller kept telling us to use our full call sign, and then of course she promptly forgot to do so, causing some confusion.

"Umm, was that for Bonanza 01N?"
"Yes, sir, Bonanza 01N descent and maintain 9000"
"Ok, but we're at 8500, and VFR, 01N"
"Oh, Bonanza 3601N, ..."

You had to be there :D
 
New student calling ground control and advised, "Cherokee ****K ready to taxi with information, ah, ah, ah, Bourbon" (actually was Whisky).
 
While doing a night VFR X-C about a year ago from Nebraska back to KBJC near Denver, I listened in on Denver Approach.

Some twin (can't remember the type now) asked for a specific route through DEN class Bravo.

Controller responded with "Unable. The idiots that designed this airspace agreed to noise restrictions in that area that can be violated with a dump truck."
 
blmoore said:
While doing a night VFR X-C about a year ago from Nebraska back to KBJC near Denver, I listened in on Denver Approach.

Some twin (can't remember the type now) asked for a specific route through DEN class Bravo.

Controller responded with "Unable. The idiots that designed this airspace agreed to noise restrictions in that area that can be violated with a dump truck."
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Man, that is funny, and probably true in more instances than it is not. Gotta love it when airspace is designed by politicians with no aviation knowledge... (that last sentence was a blanket statement and may not necessarily apply to this situation).
 
This kinda tickled my funny bone. Approach was trying to locate this Cessna.

Approach: Cessna 00Z, What Radial are you on?

Cessna 00Z: I think it is a King 170B.

After a slight pause and a change in volume.

Approach: No, No What radial, radial.

OOZ: ( He finally got it figured out and gave him the VOR radial)

LMAO
 
Only heard 1/2 of it, cause the Navy plane was on UHF, but SEA center was not amused when it took at least 4 times to get Navy to understand the concept of a block altitude. Thank you United for putting ATC on channel 9. Great entertainment at times.
 
Ghery, when you wanna listen to the Navy, you gotta monitor Navy Common...243.0!
 
AMERICAN FLIGHT: Cleveland, what kind of airplane is that at FL510?

CLEVELAND CENTER: Standby, I'll check.

ANONYMOUS VOICE: It's a Citation I.

CLEVELAND CENTER: American, did you catch that?

AMERICAN FLIGHT: Yup...thanks!

Several minutes later, having regained our composure:

MY COPILOT: Cleveland, did you ever find out what that was at 51 Thou?

CLEVELAND CENTER: Yeah, didn't you hear? It's a Citation I.

MY COPILOT: Well, I think somebody's pulling your chain, because we're a Citation I, and we're sucking wind at 350.

followed by a briefly-keyed mic, and a long silence.:lol:
 
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