You may be a Pilot if....

Snaggletooth

Snaggletooth

Line Up and Wait
Joined
May 9, 2009
Messages
665
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Texas
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Display name:
Dustin
Just a game I thought I'd start. Hope I put it in the right section. Feel free to add some in.

You may be a Pilot if....

Your family members say "What a nice day it is out today" and you look up at the Sky and the first thing that comes to mind is flying.

If you run across the yard like an idiot because you hear a plane flying over.

If you hop in your car after a flight and your steering wheel feels funny.

BTW, I'm guilty of every one of these. lol
 
If you accelerate to "rotation speed" before merging onto the highway.

If you already know a bunch of these jokes because you listen to Airspeed.
 
Snaggletooth said:
You may be a Pilot if....
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You don't flinch at dropping $2500 on a portable GPS or $800 on a headset, but you whine to the guy at the FBO counter when they raise the price on a quart of oil by 50 cents, then go help yourself to a free cup of coffee.


Trapper John
 
Your granddaughter thinks you live at the airport.
 
Trapper John said:
You don't flinch at dropping $2500 on a portable GPS or $800 on a headset, but you whine to the guy at the FBO counter when they raise the price on a quart of oil by 50 cents, then go help yourself to a free cup of coffee.


Trapper John
Click to expand...

lol sooooooo true
 
If you take your car to gas station for 11 gallons of gas instead of $30 of gas.

If you expect a call from your family whenever the local news reports a "Piper Cessna" crashed but jettisoned the wings to prevent a fire.

If you get the reference to the "jettison wings" button.
 
Or when you start your car you yell "clear"
You use 100LL or Jet A as a cologne.
You think the exhaust from a Turbine Engine smells GOOOOOD.
Your hangar has a TV, cough, refrigerator and a microwave in it and your spouse has to beg you to come home.
 
Trapper John said:
You don't flinch at dropping $2500 on a portable GPS or $800 on a headset, but you whine to the guy at the FBO counter when they raise the price on a quart of oil by 50 cents, then go help yourself to a free cup of coffee.
Click to expand...

Another extension of that...

You don't flinch at spending $250 on AvGas to fly somewhere, and complain about the $10 landing fee (note: Parking a car for the same amount of time in New York would cost you three times as much).
 
Ted DuPuis said:
Another extension of that...

You don't flinch at spending $250 on AvGas to fly somewhere, and complain about the $10 landing fee (note: Parking a car for the same amount of time in New York would cost you three times as much).
Click to expand...

Don't go to KTEB -- $150 landing fee for a MGW 3600 lb SEL.
 
dmccormack said:
Don't go to KTEB -- $150 landing fee for a MGW 3600 lb SEL.
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I don't, I go to HPN or BDR... and then complain about the fees.

A few weeks back we spent $150 in AvGas (in the Mooney) and complained about the possibility of paying $70 for a rental car instead of $40. So, they got us one for $35.

Another one (same vein):

Your plane burns $2400 in AvGas over 5 days, and then you go "Wow, lunch for $1!" and eat lunch at that FBO.

I've been told pilots are the cheapest people on the face of the earth. I think that's pretty accurate.
 
You scare people when you text while driving but you can copy a clearance, find charts, talk, and keep an airplane upright.

You say standby when switching call waiting

You stop for fuel in your car and look for the ground wire when refueling

Driving has become scary
 
Ted DuPuis said:
I've been told pilots are the cheapest people on the face of the earth. I think that's pretty accurate.
Click to expand...


Then theres the captain who takes his family out for dinner and a moive by using his flight privileges to go first class from New York to California.
 
Danos said:
You scare people when you text while driving but you can copy a clearance, find charts, talk, and keep an airplane upright.
Click to expand...

I was doing that today while flying through actual in a 172 with one Nav/Com, an ADF, and a GPS/COM. At least it had a glide slope for that one Nav/Com.
 
Not so funny, but here are some I did back during instrument training:

You start scanning your instrument cluster of your car when you drive into fog.

When you are cutting the grass with your tractor, you use a "Procedure Turn" to turn around. (This is actually good practice)
 
ghayes said:
When you are cutting the grass with your tractor, you use a "Procedure Turn" to turn around. (This is actually good practice)
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I always think of lazy eights when mowing one of the hilly sections of my lawn. My mowing pattern ends up being about the same.
 
Your favorite smell is that rotten-avgas-in-the-carpet smell that old airplanes tend to have...

Ted DuPuis said:
Your plane burns $2400 in AvGas over 5 days, and then you go "Wow, lunch for $1!" and eat lunch at that FBO.

I've been told pilots are the cheapest people on the face of the earth. I think that's pretty accurate.
Click to expand...

Yep - We've gotta pinch every last penny so that we can afford to spend all the rest on flying! :yes:
 
Danos said:
You scare people when you text while driving but you can copy a clearance, find charts, talk, and keep an airplane upright.
Click to expand...

I love it that now when people list off a bunch of numbers quickly I find myself wishing they would hurry up and say them faster when before I would have asked them to repeat it.
 
You watch them drive trucks down the narrow icy Alaskan highway through on "Ice Road Truckers" and when they hit ice fog, think, "Go on instruments"
 
You spell out something to someone on the phone using the NATO phonetic alphabet

When they repeat the spelling correctly, you reply "read back correct"

You tell them to stand-by when you put them on hold.

You advise them when you are "ready to copy" to take their information.
 
dmccormack said:
Don't go to KTEB -- $150 landing fee for a MGW 3600 lb SEL.
Click to expand...

Kelvin said:
Negative Ghostrider...it is $15.00...
Click to expand...

dmccormack said:
hmmmmm

Maybe you should have been there to tell us that amount, as opposed to the Line folks...
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Hmmm maybe I should have, I might have saved you (or your boss) some real money...:D

The "landing fee" at TEB comes from the Port Authority of NJ and NY...not an FBO.

For that matter I have been into TEB twice in the last 6 months or so and haven't been charged a handling, ramp or any other FBO based fee whatsoever either time...just bought fuel and then got the aforementioned $15.00 bill in the mail a few weeks later...

It's all about the words you use...here and at the counter of the FBO...:p
 
or you pick nits with a nice guy from PA/NC over nothing...:D:D
 
Kelvin said:
Hmmm maybe I should have, I might have saved you (or your boss) some real money...:D

The "landing fee" at TEB comes from the Port Authority of NJ and NY...not an FBO.

For that matter I have been into TEB twice in the last 6 months or so and haven't been charged a handling, ramp or any other FBO based fee whatsoever either time...just bought fuel and then got the aforementioned $15.00 bill in the mail a few weeks later...

It's all about the words you use...here and at the counter of the FBO...:p
Click to expand...

Well, we were there twice last year, and the owner (I flew with him as he was a student but wanted to fly to NYC) got a bill in the mail: $150 for each visit.

Ouch.
 
dmccormack said:
Well, we were there twice last year, and the owner (I flew with him as he was a student but wanted to fly to NYC) got a bill in the mail: $150 for each visit.

Ouch.
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WOW...I was there in a C182...MTW is like 3100 lbs...I looked up the bills at the shop today and they were...$15.00 per landing...they may jump up dramatically above that...
 
Pilawt said:
If you shop for three weeks' worth of groceries while pushing your shopping cart backwards through the supermarket, you might be a tailwheel pilot! :D
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ROFL!!! That one made me laugh!! I'm totally going to push my basket backwards when I go to walmart tomorrow!!
 
dmccormack said:
Well, we were there twice last year, and the owner (I flew with him as he was a student but wanted to fly to NYC) got a bill in the mail: $150 for each visit.

Ouch.
Click to expand...

Why not go to Linden next time? There's a normal landing fee there if there even is one. It's about the same distance from the city.
 
You might be a redneck pilot of you have tobacco juice stains down the side of the fuselage.

As far as being cheap goes, I really don't understand why pilots are so cheap. Some drive old cars so they can fly old airplanes, so they're stretched some and they'll be tight, but there are many who spend lots having their cars maintained, at higher shop rates than the aircraft shop's, but will whine about the need for a mag inspection or some other critical thing that could kill them if it ain't looked after. Is this because they've never had an engine failure, maybe? "Never happened to me, so it probably won't."

I've had two failures, and it's made me a more cautious pilot and better mechanic.

And because aircraft mechanics generally make less than their auto/truck counterparts, and face huge liabilities that the ground-bound vehicle fixer doesn't, there is a dwindling supply of A&Ps (AMEs in Canada) as more kids take up auto mechanics, and aircraft mechanics go to work for non-aviation companies. That's happened in Calgary, not far from here, where the city hired some AMEs to fix their buses. AMEs are more highly trained and take more care, apparently.

Dan
 
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Danos said:
Why not go to Linden next time? There's a normal landing fee there if there even is one. It's about the same distance from the city.
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Linden is just about the crappiest airport I've ever flown in to and I've traveled to/in every state in the country including Alaska and Hawaii by small plane. The folks there are rude and uncooperative and generally unwelcoming to any fixed wing GA. It's also just about the ugliest place I've ever seen through the windscreen of a plane and that includes the time I got to look at the bottom of the Chesapeake Bay through one. I got stuck there for an extra full day once because I couldn't get a preheat or even pushed inside a large nearly empty heated hanger. It was 25 F and it just wouldn't start. After generally pleading with them for hours, they agreed that I could put my single engine plane in their heated maintenance hanger for a few hours if I could move it myself. It was about a 1/4 mile away and I had to pull it by hand to get there when they had a perfectly serviceable tug sitting around doing nothing. I don't have a single good thing to say about the place.
 
PittsDriver said:
Linden is just about the crappiest airport I've ever flown in to and I've traveled to/in every state in the country including Alaska and Hawaii by small plane. The folks there are rude and uncooperative and generally unwelcoming to any fixed wing GA. It's also just about the ugliest place I've ever seen through the windscreen of a plane and that includes the time I got to look at the bottom of the Chesapeake Bay through one. I got stuck there for an extra full day once because I couldn't get a preheat or even pushed inside a large nearly empty heated hanger. It was 25 F and it just wouldn't start. After generally pleading with them for hours, they agreed that I could put my single engine plane in their heated maintenance hanger for a few hours if I could move it myself. It was about a 1/4 mile away and I had to pull it by hand to get there when they had a perfectly serviceable tug sitting around doing nothing. I don't have a single good thing to say about the place.
Click to expand...

Tell us how you really feel.

:rolleyes:

Since I grew up in and around Linden, I had to smile as you accurately described the armpit of the planet.
 
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