You be the judge...accept the money?

Captain

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Joe is an adult it his 40's. He is employed and makes decent money yet every year his mother sends a Christmas check for $500. Mom is okay financially but Dad is retiring soon and Joe is a tad worried they haven't saved as much as they should have.

With the above in mind Joe is conflicted about cashing the check. Should he cash the check and accept it for the gift that it is or rip it up and call it a gift right back at her?
 
I think Joe should do whatever he wants. 500 isn't much in the grand scheme of things anymore. There is a good book out on scenarios like this called "The millionaire next door" might be a little dated now but the premises are timeless. Great to read if you are raising kids or have raised kids or were a kid.
 
Accept the money. It will make her feel good. My mother would give me $20 Christmas checks. I didn't need the money but she was so happy to give it to me. She was not happy that I didn't cash the check... her check register was always off from the bank statements by that amount. Each month she would ask me when I would be cashing the check.

BUT put it in the bank (or invest it, or whatever). Give it back plus interest when the parents need it.

Jim
 
Accept the money with thanks,pay it back at a later date.
 
How's about if he feels guilty, pay the electric water trash bill with the money? I'd have a hard time taking money from someone who could not afford it, no matter what their intentions.
 
Take it now and enjoy it ! Consider it a kind of insurance that you'll be there to help out after one or both of them has a stroke or Alzheimer's. The first time your mom or dad accidentally takes a dump in their pants in a public place it'll all make sense. Oh, and it WILL happen.
 
Great visual, thanks!:eek:
My mom gives me, my sister and the grandkids money every year. It would break her heart if any of us turned it down. :wink2:

Art VanDelay said:
Take it now and enjoy it ! Consider it a kind of insurance that you'll be there to help out after one or both of them has a stroke or Alzheimer's. The first time your mom or dad accidentally takes a dump in their pants in a public place it'll all make sense. Oh, and it WILL happen.
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PaulS said:
I think Joe should do whatever he wants. 500 isn't much in the grand scheme of things anymore. There is a good book out on scenarios like this called "The millionaire next door" might be a little dated now but the premises are timeless. Great to read if you are raising kids or have raised kids or were a kid.
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Thanks Paul. Just bought it. Will start it when I finish my current book mid week.
 
Captain said:
Joe is an adult it his 40's. He is employed and makes decent money yet every year his mother sends a Christmas check for $500. Mom is okay financially but Dad is retiring soon and Joe is a tad worried they haven't saved as much as they should have.

With the above in mind Joe is conflicted about cashing the check. Should he cash the check and accept it for the gift that it is or rip it up and call it a gift right back at her?
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Of course you accept it or hurt mom's feelings. Then you go deposit it back in their account.
 
midlifeflyer said:
That's the answer. Not accepting a gift is insulting. Paying it back when needed is priceless.
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Exactly.

Besides if $500 once a year is going to break them, they are already hosed.
 
Okay, everyone seems agreed to accept it and save it for her future. What if the money comes with instructions (it does) like, "here's some extra money to spend on something special for the entire family."?

Now it seems dishonest to save it. I would have mentioned this bit sooner but honestly I thought you'd all be more towards ripping it up. Didn't seem pertinent on post #1...now it does.
 
Captain said:
Okay, everyone seems agreed to accept it and save it for her future. What if the money comes with instructions (it does) like, "here's some extra money to spend on something special for the entire family."?

Now it seems dishonest to save it. I would have mentioned this bit sooner but honestly I thought you'd all be more towards ripping it up. Didn't seem pertinent on post #1...now it does.
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Doesn't make it dishonest to still keep $500 in reserve for her.
 
The last couple words in the note should be a clue; "ENTIRE Family".
Last I checked Mom is part of that right? I would think investing it for the future well being of family member would be something special.
 
Get something special for the entire family, and let her know what was purchased and how much it was appreciated by all. Don't rob her of the chance to feel good about doing something nice for you.

Just do something extra special when it's time to get her a gift.
 
kayoh190 said:
Get something special for the entire family, and let her know what was purchased and how much it was appreciated by all. Don't rob her of the chance to feel good about doing something nice for you.

Just do something extra special when it's time to get her a gift.
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:yes::yes:
This is $500.00 we are talking about, not paying off your mortgage. Buy something, show or tell her what you bought and make her happy. When the time comes you will be able to repay her, just not with a check. ;) As James said, if $500 is going to make a big difference in her retirement, she's got much bigger problems. :dunno:
 
Captain said:
Okay, everyone seems agreed to accept it and save it for her future. What if the money comes with instructions (it does) like, "here's some extra money to spend on something special for the entire family."?

Now it seems dishonest to save it. I would have mentioned this bit sooner but honestly I thought you'd all be more towards ripping it up. Didn't seem pertinent on post #1...now it does.
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It doesn't have to be 'saved', like sticking it into a piggy bank, that wasn't my intention when I posted my suggestion. Use it as it's intended, as a gift for the family. Just remember, someday, you might feel the need to repay the gift.
 
Captain said:
Okay, everyone seems agreed to accept it and save it for her future. What if the money comes with instructions (it does) like, "here's some extra money to spend on something special for the entire family."?



Now it seems dishonest to save it. I would have mentioned this bit sooner but honestly I thought you'd all be more towards ripping it up. Didn't seem pertinent on post #1...now it does.
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Definitely should get a family outing that includes hookers and blow then.
 
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