This week on POA. Episode 2

SixPapaCharlie

SixPapaCharlie

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This week on POA "VFR Lunch"

This episode finds us at the big hanger again but today's weather is beautiful. The hanger doors are open and we fade in on Denver Pilot standing next to Matthew just inside the hanger door looking out at the pattern.

Matthew: What's he doing?

DenverPilot: It's Stinkbug.
DenverPilot: He has Dallas up there with him.
DenverPilot: He just grabbed him a few minutes ago.
DenverPilot: I heard him say "come with me and I will show you it can be done safely."

Matthew: Mile High Club?

DenverPilot: I wouldn't rule that out but I think he is going to slip with flaps in the 172.

Matthew: That's too bad. I really liked those guys.


eman1200: Hey guys what's up?

Matthew: Stinkbug is going to slip with flaps. He's turning base now.

eman1200: Oh the humanity!
eman1200: Shouldn't be an issue as long as the flaps aren't deployed while banking right?

Matthew: That's an urban legend from back in biblical times where they use... [Alphadog interrupts]

alphadog Hey guys what are you watching?

DenverPilot: A plane crash. They are going to slip with flaps.

alphadog: Is that them turning final?

eman1200: yup

alphadog: So... What is it exactly that makes a plane turn anyway?

DenverPilot: NO! ...NO NO NO NO!

Matthew: Hey look at that. they are slipping
Matthew: Looks like full flaps to me.

eman1200: Yup. Non event.

Matthew: hmmm. I'd have put my money on a fiery death..

[A few minutes later Stinkbug and Dallas exit the plane walking toward the hanger discussing the flight and merging with the growing group of POA at the hanger door.]


Stinkbug: See, no big deal. Just have to take it easy and don't make any sudden movements.

Sac Arrow: Mile high club?

Matthew: Nope. Pattern Altitude club.

Sac Arrow: Ewe. With flaps!?!?
Sac Arrow: You guys are lucky to be alive.




Dallas: What's BobMrg doing over there?

Anthony: He is helping unregistered

Dallas: What did unregistered do?

Anthony: He busted Bravo. Flew right through without being cleared in.

unregistered: Yep, I wonder if I will lose my License.

Ron Levy: If I may, Actually it isn't a license per se. More of a certificate.

unregistered: I am a low hour PPL and I thought I was clear. but I ended up flying for about 5 minutes through the 3k shelf.

unregistered: But yeah, as soon as I realized, I got down. We don't have a lot of class B where I trained so this was a bit new.

Anthony: Probably nothing will come of it. That's not to say it wasn't stupid and you need to pay more attention but as backed up and unorganized as the FAA is, I doubt you will hear anything.

Anthony: On the other hand, they could take your cert away. It's really a crap-shoot.




LDJones: Hey Guys. I just got a call from Ben he is flying up to the grass strip to grab lunch

6PC: Anyone ever notice how that strip looks a bit like a penis?

collective mumbling: No, never noticed that, what's with all the penis references anyway?

6PC: Yeah, me neither. That'd be weird


LDJones: Anyway, I am going to join them. I can carry 2 more

Anthony: I will go. I can carry 3. Or 2 depending on which combination of you come with me.

Anthony: Really as long as I don't have to fly TimWinters, I am in.

Ghery: What's wrong with TimWinters?

Anthony: Sometimes he can be a little timid in the cockpit. He gets a little nervous and it can be distracting.

Ghery: Ok then, TimWinters can ride with me.


[A mixture of POA organizes and heads out to their favorite Grass strip at KOCK (which looks nothing like a penis.)]



999978497020.jpg



[We join Tim and Ghery en route]

Tim: Is that the garmin 430?
Ghery: Sure is, finest piece of navigation equipment ever made.
Ghery: Want to see how it works?


[POP!]

Tim: What was that noise?
Tim: I heard a popping sound to my right just now.

Ghery: I didn't hear it

[POP!]

Tim: there it goes again, it sounds like it is coming from this window.

[suddenly the passenger window of Ghery's plane cracks and detaches completely falling to the ground]

Tim: AAAAGGGGGGG WERE GONNA DIE!!!!!!!!

Ghery: Wait. What?


Tim: WE'RE GONNA DIE!!!!!
Tim: WE'RE GONNA GET SUCKED OUT!!!

Ghery: What the hell are you talking about?

Tim: OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!!
Tim: AS I WALK THROUGH THE VALLEY!!

Ghery: Dude...

Tim: I AM GETTING SUCKED OUT!!!!

Ghery: Tim, this isn't an episode of "Airplane Repo".
Ghery: You can't get sucked out.
Ghery: plus we are doing like 90.

Tim: OHH GOD OH GOD WE ARE LOSING AIR PRESSURE!!!!

Ghery: Tim! This plane isn't even pressurized. What on earth?
Ghery: You are a pilot right?

Tim: THERE'S NOT ENOUGH OXYGEN!!! I CAN'T BREATHE!!!!
Tim: I CAN'T BREATHE.
Tim: OH JESUS! I THINK I AM HYPOXIC!!!

Tim: GHERY!?!

Ghery: Yes Tim?

Tim: GHERY, I LOVE YOU!

Ghery: That's... really not necessary

Tim: NO MAN. I'M SERIOUS! I LOVE YOU MAN!

Ghery: Tim, you just need to calm down.

Tim: SAY IT!

Ghery: What?

Tim: SAY IT!

Ghery: What? No, I am not.. Look we are just fine

Tim: Oh My God!!! SAY IT GHERY!

Tim: TELL ME YOU LOVE ME.
Tim: TELL ME YOU LOVE ME GHERY!!!!!

Ghery: Look Tim, you are a great guy and I like you but you may be overreacting a little.

Tim: I HAVE NO AIR, MY FINGERS ARE NUMB!!!
Tim: I FEEL TINGLING ALL OVER. OH GOD WE'RE SO HIGH!!!!

Ghery: Dude we are at 2000 feet.

Tim: WE'RE FALLING???????!?!?!

Tim: GET THE OXYGEN MASKS!!!

Tim: SECURE MINE AROUND MY FACE FIRST GHERY THEN PUT YOURS ON!!!!

Ghery: Tim, you shouldn't end sentences with a preposition.
Ghery: Also, what the hell is wrong with you?

Tim: OH MY GOD! WE ARE GOING DOWN!!!! HERE IT COMES

Ghery: Here comes what?

Tim: THE GROUND IS RUSHING UP AT US!!

Tim: AHHHHHHHH WE ARE GOING TO CRASH INTO THAT GIANT GRASS D!CK!!!!

Ghery: Tim, we are landing, We are on final. Sterile cockpit please.

Tim: OH JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESUS!!!!!!!!

[The wheels of Ghery's Cessna touch the soft peni.., er grass and the plane rolls to a crawl for a picture perfect grass landing]


[Very silent and awkward taxi to parking. Ghery shuts down the plane and sits in stunned silence]


Tim: So,that 430 is nice. I may look into one of those for my bird.



Ghery: ........

Ghery: Um.... Hey Tim, What was all that commotion about?

Tim: Oh you heard that? I told you there was a popping noise.
Tim: Glad you finally heard it.

Ghery: Are you really sure you should be flying?

Tim: Oh Ghery, look your right passenger window is completely gone.
Tim: Was it like that when we took off?
Tim: You should probably get that looked at

Ghery: Tim...

Tim: What?

Ghery: Never mind. Let's just get some food.

Tim: Great Idea. I'm starving!


[Ghery and Tim join a large group of POA'ers already waiting at the table]


JOhnH: Hey guys, how was the flight?

Ghery: Well it was...[Tim interrupts]

Tim: So smooth. It was a great flight. Ghery showed me his 430
Tim: Just an awesome flight. I think I actually slept through a good portion of it.

Ghery: Yeah, it was great I guess.

Ben: Tim, You are dripping with sweat, Next time, open your window. You know you can do that in the Ghery' bird. Makes for a much cooler experience.
Ben: I can fly mine with the windows open. You should fly back with me

Ghery: YES!!!! Do That! Do exactly what you just said!!!!!

Tim: Ghery, you don't mind?

Ghery: ha! Twist my arm. Okay go with him. I need some solo hours anyway.

EppyGA: Hey did you guys hear about that Ebola?
EppyGA: Its spreading. Some messed up siht.

DocMirror: I was reading about it in a science journal and they were showing what the virus looks like under a microscope.

EppyGA: I saw some of those photos. It looks downright creepy.

6PC: It kinda looks like a penis.

EppyGA: What's wrong with you?

6PC: I.. Uh... Dont... So I saw outbreak. That does look pretty rough. I hope I don't get it.
6PC: because of all the bleeding and dying.
6PC: Also I don't like monkeys.


[POA members eat, swap stories, argue and head back to their respective planes]


Ben : Well guys, that was fun, I need to head back.
Ben : We should do this again sometime soon.

[Everyone babbles in agreement.]

Tim: I am flying with you right Ben?

Ben : Yup, come on!

[Ben and Tim are the first to the run up area. A handful of POA is still chatting on the taxiway hanging back to watch the planes leave and snap some photos to share]

Ben and Tim start their take off roll, windows open, gathering speed, as they go down the runway.
Right at rotation a feint screaming sound can be heard coming from the plane

JOhnH: What's that noise coming from his plane?

EppyGA: It sounds like a little girl screaming.

DocMirror: I have never heard a plane make that sound before.

Ghery (mumbling): I have.


[We Join LDJones and DocMirror who have decided to fly together for the trip back]

DocMirror: That was a good lunch. I love coming here

LDJones: Yup good stuff

[radio interrupts]

EppyGA: KOCK traffic bugsmasher six one niner, taking Zero Seven. Southeast departure.

DocMirror getting on the radio: Hey guys once you are up, take a look at the waterway off to the north. It is unbelievable

6PC (on the radio): Is it shaped like a penis?

DocMirror: No, its low. Unbelievably low. You need to get checked out son.

6PC (on the radio): I think I got stepped on. I was asking if it is low or something. I don't know what that other guy was saying.

The group heads back like a trail of ants with full bellies toward the field with the big hanger ending another successful $100 hamburger run for the group.

Back at the field, the group ties down their planes and enters the hanger which is empty except for one person.

Corpsmaide: Where did you guys go?

Captain: Ew... hmmm about that...
Captain: You got the evite right? I am sure I saw your name on the list.
Captain: Six, did you send it?

6PC: I started it but I forwarded it to AggieMike to finish and send.

AggieMike: I added Tim and a couple others and gave it to Matt.

Matthew: I told EdFred to add the names and give it back to me and I would send it.

Corpsmaide: No its cool guys I was so busy anyway watching the hanger and stuff

Ghery: Don't worry, we will do it again. We will make sure you are the first name on the list.
Ghery: And next time, do you mind flying Tim? Next time I am planning on riding with Captain.

Corpsmaide: Heck yes, that would be awesome. I love flying w/ pax.

Corpsmaide: Tim, I will pick you up early next hamburger run. I want to show you my new Garmin.

Thus ends the second episode of POA

Tune in next time and see the drama erupt as a spirited High wing versus low wing debate turns in to an all out brawl. POA becomes divided, alliances are formed. More confrontation and backstabbing than you can handle on an all new episode of POA.
 
That just made my day. I haven't been on poa very long so I don't know everyone but very funny
 
SixPapaCharlie said:
....Tune in next time and see the drama erupt as a spirited High wing versus low wing debate turns in to an all out brawl. POA becomes divided, alliances are formed. More confrontation and backstabbing than you can handle on an all new episode of POA.
Click to expand...

...and more penis references, of course.......

LDJones said:
Slow day at work, Bryan?
Click to expand...

....this might be why "working from home" gets a bad rap.....



Holy @#%$! I just realized it is physically impossible for me to respond on the internet without using ellipses......
 
One question... How in the heck did Ben get there? to the best of my knowledge he still don't own a plane.

(PS. great find for the photo of Cedar Mills)

(PPS. for the benefit of the late comers (penis pun not intended), put a link to episode 1 in the OP)
 
LDJones said:
Slow day at work, Bryan?
Click to expand...

VERY!

We have this thing called "Customer service appreciation week"
Nobody works. Everyone cooks out and does "office olympic" type events and crazy cubicle decoration things and raffles and games.

I don't get involved in that stuff. In the "real world" I am not a big mingler.

Honestly yesterday everyone was dressed up like cowboys and running around the parking garage on stick horses.

I hide as low as I can get in my chair "dealing with an emergency" so I don't have to do that.
 
And seriously...

Yesterday I had to get involved against my will. I (an almost 37 year old project manager) sat at my desk with glue, crayons, and construction paper decorating a freaking replica of a shipping container to be entered in a contest of some sort.

I couldn't make eye contact with anyone while I was knocking that bad boy out.

My company has some really weird traditions.
 
SixPapaCharlie said:
VERY!

We have this thing called "Customer service appreciation week"
Nobody works. Everyone cooks out and does "office olympic" type events and crazy cubicle decoration things and raffles and games.

I don't get involved in that stuff. In the "real world" I am not a big mingler.

Honestly yesterday everyone was dressed up like cowboys and running around the parking garage on stick horses.

I hide as low as I can get in my chair "dealing with an emergency" so I don't have to do that.
Click to expand...

Hmmm....maybe there's more to our slow economic recovery than meets the eye! :D
 
Love it.....

Hey 6PC..

May I suggest you add a commercial in there... I can't wait to hear the topic.:D
 
Funny, but there's a major plothole... How did they even get the pattern set up correctly to attempt the mythical slip with flaps without a metal landing calculator? Logic dictates that's theoretically impossible.
 
That is another example of American Exceptionalism.

Great work.
 
(EdFred stumbles in)

EdFred: Sorry guys, I would have been here sooner, but I had, uh, issues.
6PC: What issu- wait, weren't you supposed to pick up Spike?
EdFred: Yeah, about that..
6PC: Where is he?
EdFred: I shot him in the face.
6PC: You mean like a money shot, right, with your pe-
EdFred: No. Shut the **** up about your mother****ing penises. I swear, if I catch you staring at my junk again....
6PC: OK, OK, OK...wait, you mean you shot him, shot him?
EdFred: Yes.
6PC: B-bu-but why?
EdFred: He's a dick, where's the SoCo?
 
Hey Ed,
Where you been?
And when are you going back?

QUOTE=EdFred;1577370](EdFred stumbles in)

EdFred: Sorry guys, I would have been here sooner, but I had, uh, issues.
6PC: What issu- wait, weren't you supposed to pick up Spike?
EdFred: Yeah, about that..
6PC: Where is he?
EdFred: I shot him in the face.
6PC: You mean like a money shot, right, with your pe-
EdFred: No. Shut the **** up about your mother****ing penises. I swear, if I catch you staring at my junk again....
6PC: OK, OK, OK...wait, you mean you shot him, shot him?
EdFred: Yes.
6PC: B-bu-but why?
EdFred: He's a dick, where's the SoCo?[/QUOTE]
 
Ed freds back.
I will honor his return by making my flight next weekend using only pilotage.
 
Nope. I'm converted. I am getting an autopilot and backup autopilot installed and a quadruple GPS panel upgrade, and installing 3 yoke mounted iPads, one running 6iOS, one running 7iOS, and one running 8iOS. And I'm hiring a Finnish midget to watch the fuel gauges and switch tanks for me so I can sleep while flying.
 
OMG this is the best stuff ever, I don't know whether to be glad or sad I have been keeping myself off the forum a bit.

Damn funny stuff 6PC, bravo!

'Gimp
 
EdFred said:
Nope. I'm converted. I am getting an autopilot and backup autopilot installed and a quadruple GPS panel upgrade, and installing 3 yoke mounted iPads, one running 6iOS, one running 7iOS, and one running 8iOS. And I'm hiring a Finnish midget to watch the fuel gauges and switch tanks for me so I can sleep while flying.
Click to expand...

You kids these days.
All children of the magenta.
 
It's not magenta, its FF00FF

Also the sound that's made when these idiots crash. FFOOFF!
 
Next week on POA, Episode 3:

Bryan (SixPapaCharlie) gets schooled by Eren (MrsPapaCharlie):

22a77101eb6f730c988cb74d15a70497.jpg
 
timwinters said:
Immediately upon his return he sent me a PM and he was pretty pizzed because he saw that I told Ghery I love him. He only came back in an attempt to regain my heart. Insanely jealous that man is.
Click to expand...


In your defense, you had experienced explosive decompression.
 
SixPapaCharlie said:
And seriously...

Yesterday I had to get involved against my will. I (an almost 37 year old project manager) sat at my desk with glue, crayons, and construction paper decorating a freaking replica of a shipping container to be entered in a contest of some sort.

I couldn't make eye contact with anyone while I was knocking that bad boy out.

My company has some really weird traditions.
Click to expand...


Was your construction paper shipping container full of mass produced Chinese penis cutouts?
 
Tim just tell us how you really feel about him! :rofl:

ARFlyer "0557D" "Dammit" "5057D"

Tim "Just call me Di*h**d"
 
Holy *****! That was hilarious!

If you get REALLY bored, you can do a multi-part miniseries on proper patterns at uncontrolled fields, with voice over recitation of the FARs in question. :-D

Awesome work 6PC. That made me seriously laugh!

-Brian
 
TangoWhiskey said:
Was your construction paper shipping container full of mass produced Chinese penis cutouts?
Click to expand...

I wish.

So here is how corporate American 3rd grade works. And for the record, I have had a lot of jobs so I know this is not abnormal.

Wed we got a box representing a shipping container and a bunch of crap that we have to pack.

Winner is the team whose box has the best container design and most meticulous adherence to the international shipping regs. It also has to pass a shake test.

Items we had to pack included

  • Cigarette lighter
  • Can of potted meat
  • Cheetos
  • bottle of Scope
  • 2 batteries
  • box of crayons
  • Light bulbs
  • 3 Christmas tree bulbs
  • some other nonsense I cannot recall

The contents had to be packed in such a way as to prevent a fuel source being next to an ignition source and HazMat (lighter) cannot be closer than 8.5 feet from consumables which in our scale container is 2.7 inches

They shake the box to simulate transport on a truck, train, and vessel

Based on the packing, style, and survivability, the winner gets. Well, they get an email stating that their team won.

This is what corporate America is doing. 30+ 6 figure employees at a publicly held company, 465 million dollars in debt acting like kids and all getting bonuses this quarter because we are losing less money than last year at this time.

This is why the terrorists hate us.

That was yesterday. Today I worked from home which means in addition to writing "as the propeller turns" (love that title), I got 5 vessels built in our system that as I type this are in Dutch Harbor, San Juan, and Honolulu working.

Had I been in the office, I would have been having chair races around some sort of paper mache(sp) pylons decorated earlier in the week.

At any rate, my family benefits greatly from this system but like every system, it is flawed beyond repair. So even though I screw off on here a lot, I went up to the office at 9PM to get some paper work I need for tomorrow. Working from home may get a bad rap but the people at the office were having a dance off while the people at home were doing some work.

POA needs a dance off. Whens the next Gastons?
 
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