They Walk Among Us!

Tom-D

Tom-D

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Tom-D
They Walk Among Us and Many Work Retail

I was at the checkout of a K-Mart. The clerk rang up $46.64 charge. I Gave her a fifty dollar bill. She gave me back $46.64. I gave the money back to her and told her that she had made a mistake in MY favor.
She became indignant and informed me she was Educated and knew what she was doing, and returned the money again. I gave her the Money back ....same scenario! I departed the store with the $46.64.

They Walk Among Us and Many Work Retail

I walked into a Starbucks with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a Grande Latt e. I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little chalkboard that said 'buy one-get one free.' 'They're already buy-one-get-one-free,' she said, 'so I guess they're both free'. She handed me my free Lattes and I walked out the door.



One day I was walking down the beach with some Friends when one of them shouted, 'Look at that dead bird!' Someone looked Up at the sky and said, 'Where?'


They Walk Among Us!

While looking at a house, my brother asked the real Estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the North?' When my brother explained that the sun rises in the East, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, 'Oh I don't keep up with all that stuff.'

They Walk Among Us!!

I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, 'The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.' He responded, 'Is that Eastern or Pacific time?' Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, 'Uh, Pacific.'

They Walk Among Us!

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.


They Walk Among Us!

My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.

They Walk Among Us!

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me, has your plane arrived yet?'

They Walk Among Us!

While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man Ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone an d the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.'

Yep, They Walk Among Us!




They Walk Among Us, and they Reproduce, and Worst of all
.....they Vote!
 
NC19143 said:
I was at the checkout of a K-Mart. The clerk rang up $46.64 charge. I Gave her a fifty dollar bill. She gave me back $46.64.
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She was flirting with you.

I walked into a Starbucks with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a Grande Latt e. I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little chalkboard that said 'buy one-get one free.' 'They're already buy-one-get-one-free,' she said, 'so I guess they're both free'. She handed me my free Lattes and I walked out the door.
Click to expand...

She also wanted you.

My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.
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Good will. He has a friend or cousin that'd be perfect for you.

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me, has your plane arrived yet?
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"No. I always put my luggage on the plane and then teleport to the airport just for fun."
 
Buy something. The total is $3.37. Hand her a $5 bill, two nickels and two pennies. It'll take a while - she may want to hand the coins back to you because you, as an idiot, gave her too much.

Ask her to take it all.

Confusion will abound.

It'll take a while but she will figure out that she has $5.12 and will enter that into the register.

The register will tell her to give you $1.75. She will take out the dollar and, if you're lucky, three quarters.

She will wonder if you knew that would happen.

She will wonder if you are a wizard.

She will wonder if she was just the victim of a quick change artist.

Your entertainment is free.
 
I can still remember the retail days. Old, crotchety farts always tried to screw me up by picking change out of their rubber coin purses after I'd already punched the amount into the register.

I was generally pretty quick at counting change, but I always got a kick out of the old turds when they scoffed at my efforts. Heck, I could check out ten "straight change" customers faster than they could pick the pennies out of their pocket, so what difference did it make? I got my revenge by giving back pennies and nickels, and counting in weird increments. By the time I was done, they were confused and embarrassed, and I was smiling. "Thanks for stoppin'. Have a nice day!"

M
 
NC19143 said:
My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.
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Go back the next day and get 20 cases. They owe YOU the cost of the beer! :yes:
 
My wife and her sister (German born) were checking out at a K-mart and speaking German to each other. The cashier asked "Gee, do you all really understand each other when you talk like that?"
 
At a Blockbuster once the clerk refused to accept my $2 bill. He ORDERED me to pay with different money. (Too bad I didn't have another $2 bill.) I refused, partly on principle and partly because I wanted to see just how stupid he was. He called the manager over. The manager said, "So what's the problem?" The clerk went on and on about how it was a $2 bill. Apparently didn't know they existed. And then he started arguing with the manager.
 
Ken Ibold said:
At a Blockbuster once the clerk refused to accept my $2 bill. He ORDERED me to pay with different money. (Too bad I didn't have another $2 bill.) I refused, partly on principle and partly because I wanted to see just how stupid he was. He called the manager over. The manager said, "So what's the problem?" The clerk went on and on about how it was a $2 bill. Apparently didn't know they existed. And then he started arguing with the manager.
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When he asked for different money, you should have handed him a 3 dollar bill.
 
I think I related this once before: standing in line at a Kroger with an obviously new young lady checking out a lady in front of me was having one problem after another. I thought about moving, but the other lines were pretty long by the time I was next. Oh well, I resigned myself to it taking awhile.

She finished up the order in front of me and picked up the little rubber divider one puts between orders. Thought she was going to stack it to the side, but oh no, this girl tries to scan it. Tries a couple times which gives me a minute to think. Then she says: this won't scan, did you notice the price on the shelf.

In one of my very few courteous moments in situations like these, I tell her not to worry 'bout it. I've changed my mind and don't want it now.

She finished my check out.

Best,

Dave
 
Hey, not all retail clerks are retarded. I used to reverse the roles on folks when people would try to get enjoyment from me. Customer would say "You better enter that correctly into your little machine there, so it gives you the right change! Don't want you to have to figure it out in your head!"

So I'd enter in $6177.43 as cash tendered, and figure it out in my head. Then I'd laugh at them when they'd say "That's gonna screw up your final cash count, moron."

If only I could respond the way I wanted to.
 
SkyHog said:
Hey, not all retail clerks are retarded. I used to reverse the roles on folks when people would try to get enjoyment from me. Customer would say "You better enter that correctly into your little machine there, so it gives you the right change! Don't want you to have to figure it out in your head!"

So I'd enter in $6177.43 as cash tendered, and figure it out in my head. Then I'd laugh at them when they'd say "That's gonna screw up your final cash count, moron."

If only I could respond the way I wanted to.
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Hey Nick, it's an entry level job, anybody smart enough to put a ring in their eyebrow and not get it stuck in their eye can start there.
 
Last week, I had to exchange a set of dry erase markers that were a tad too dry. I went into Office Depot and since there was no regular customer service desk, I just walked to the only register with a clerk.

At the time, there was one customer being waited on by a manager alongside another employee with "Trainee" indicated on her name tag. When the manager was done she looked up at then walked away leaving the trainee to wait on another customer who had just walked up while I was standing there. During that time, another five or six customers walked up to the one register followed by a couple more.

There's at least a half dozen or more clerks/employees circling around; not a word spoken to me by any of them. But, lots of eye contact has been made with me by everyone along with the trainee who kept looking up at me the whole time. With the long line, two other clerks come up and open two more registers and begin waiting on customers in line; long after I had been standing there.

Finally, after all the customers are waited on except for one at another register, the trainee looks up at me and asks, "Have you been helped?" We were exceeding well past ten minutes at this point. I simply answered, "No."

That was not how I wanted to respond.

brick.gif
 
It's late evening, we're on our way home from a business social event and we are weary. We stop by the nearest Tom Thumb (grocery chain which used to be very good, until bought by that standard-bearer of mediocrity, Safeway). We wander about the store, gathering up our miscellaneous goods, and go to the front of the store- only one checker is working, but that shouldn't be a problem, as there's only one customer ahead of us.

Sadly, the customer is disputing the price of some item in her order, and she and the checker are having a vigorous discussion (in Spanish). Additional customers are arriving, joining the queue of desperation.

Checker does not call for help, does not ask for a price check. She locks the register, and walks- ambles- back into the merchandise aisles. There is, now, no one available to actually sell any of the hundreds of thousands of dollars of valuable food and stuff. Frustration mounts.

Slow, poorly-motivated checker girl returns, resumes desultory argument with (admittedly obstreperous) customer. Line lengthens.

I tell Celia, "wait here," and walk back in to the aisles, going from location to location to establish the purchase price of each item we are buying. In toto, they aggregate (if I recall correctly) $19.65, so I step up next to our feuding foodies, hand teh checker a $20.00 bill, and say, "This oughta cover it, with a little extra."

For the first time, checker diva notices someone other than the customer with whom she has been chattering for the past fifteen minutes is there. "You can't do that!" she exclaims, and I smiled and told her, "I just did." For the first time all night, she deems it important to call the manager, the page ringing out, "...customer is leaving with items!"

We walked, slowly, to the car, and I waited for anyone remotely resembling a manager to come out. No one did, and I never saw Moron Checker Chick at that store again (as, indeed, I had never seen her before).

And they wonder why their market share has been collapsing; remarkably enough, the chain was growing and thriving right up until Safeway bought them, then stores started closing. I still remember the day, in 1986, when every single Safeway in the Dallas district closed. They know how to close stores just fine.
 
That was a good story, Spike. At least, the words I understood were good. :)
 
Spike,

Your walking out like that reminds me of what Sam's Club and Fry's Electronics does. Sam's counts every item.

Once, they had a line going on forever and only one person at the exit. After five minutes, I'd had enough and went out the door. The woman yelled at me saying she had to check my receipt.

Me: "Are you accusing me of stealing product?"

Door person: "No."

Me: "See ya!"

While loading up my legally purchased product, not one but TWO guys run out to me to check on what I had possession of. I let them see the receipt but I dumped all over them on the issue at the door. Something like: "You can spare two people to go accuse someone of stealing but not one more to assist customers attempting to leave your store to go home. This is on top of your understaffed registers."

As I'm pushing the cart to a corral another customer yells at me, "You need to get a life!" I replied, "I have one. That's why I don't want to stand in line forever."

Another time, I was waiting at Fry's to leave with some item which I cannot recall. I've stood in line enough in auto traffic and in the Navy not to mention holding short while the Hobbs is ticking. I told the guy how frustrating this BS was. He has the audacity to say it was to verify customers had been charged for the correct item, as if the customer went in to purchase batteries and leaves after paying for hard drive. As he hands the receipt back I respond with, "What a crock!" then leave.
 
KennyFlys said:
Spike,

Your walking out like that reminds me of what Sam's Club and Fry's Electronics does. Sam's counts every item.

Once, they had a line going on forever and only one person at the exit. After five minutes, I'd had enough and went out the door. The woman yelled at me saying she had to check my receipt.

Me: "Are you accusing me of stealing product?"

Door person: "No."

Me: "See ya!"

While loading up my legally purchased product, not one but TWO guys run out to me to check on what I had possession of. I let them see the receipt but I dumped all over them on the issue at the door. Something like: "You can spare two people to go accuse someone of stealing but not one more to assist customers attempting to leave your store to go home. This is on top of your understaffed registers."

As I'm pushing the cart to a corral another customer yells at me, "You need to get a life!" I replied, "I have one. That's why I don't want to stand in line forever."

Another time, I was waiting at Fry's to leave with some item which I cannot recall. I've stood in line enough in auto traffic and in the Navy not to mention holding short while the Hobbs is ticking. I told the guy how frustrating this BS was. He has the audacity to say it was to verify customers had been charged for the correct item, as if the customer went in to purchase batteries and leaves after paying for hard drive. As he hands the receipt back I respond with, "What a crock!" then leave.
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I had a couple meltdowns at Sams Club over that. Now Costco does it, too.

You got me hanging as to what they're actually checking. They check too fast to be even doing an item count. I think it's mainly to be sure you don't' have high dollar items in the cart that aren't on the receipt. Costco has the same lame lie, "To be sure you get all the items you've paid for." It may be that. They have some stuff like computer parts where you "buy" a ticket and have to remember to get the real thing when you leave.


CDW used to make you leave your valuables with the gaurd as entered. I was supposed to give this minimum wage maroon my $3000 laptop, cell phone, etc. as I went in to buy something for $100. He actually said, "You have to if you want to buy anything." I showed him thats the offer is not accepted. I left. They since closed their retail stores.

I'M A CUSTOMER, NOT A THIEF! :mad:
 
BTW why the heck is this thread in the Book Club? This should really not be here and should have been posted elsewhere. Any moderator agree and can you move it? Please?
 
On the job too.

On one project, we just discussed for, I think, the 4th time, that in order for me to place equipment orders, I need to know where the stuff should be shipped. Ya think?
 
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Well, people are just STUPID.

One of my jobs in college was the night shift at a convenience store. I grabbed an empty jerky jar, cut a wide slot in the top, taped closed the lid and made a label that read:

HELP SEND A COLLEGE KID ON DESPERATELY NEEDED VACATION. PLEASE HELP. GIVE GENEROUSLY. ASK THE CLERK FOR MORE DETAILS.

I put a small picture of myself on the label and drew pictures of swaying palms and glassy waves 'neath a blazing sun.

People did give! But the questions they would ask...you'd think I was terminally ill and it was only their money which would save me. Not one person questioned the authenticity or actual "need". In a few months I had several hundreds of dollars which I used to fully fund a road trip to Grass Valley for a Bluegrass Festival.
 
smigaldi said:
BTW why the heck is this thread in the Book Club? This should really not be here and should have been posted elsewhere. Any moderator agree and can you move it? Please?
Click to expand...
It was a test... to find out how many were interested in reading.

You passed! :)
 
mikea said:
I had a couple meltdowns at Sams Club over that. Now Costco does it, too.

You got me hanging as to what they're actually checking. They check too fast to be even doing an item count. I think it's mainly to be sure you don't' have high dollar items in the cart that aren't on the receipt. Costco has the same lame lie, "To be sure you get all the items you've paid for." It may be that. They have some stuff like computer parts where you "buy" a ticket and have to remember to get the real thing when you leave.
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BJ's does that too. But twice the person checking items as I left has caught mistakes made by the check out person.

Both times were "buy one get one free" where I was charged for both and didn't notice at the checkout. And I don't see how they picked that up so quickly, I had full carts of stuff.

But then, at least at my local BJ's, they never let any line get very long before finding someone to open a new line.
 
"I see dumb people...
They're everywhere...
They don't even know they're dumb..."

:rolleyes:

The "dead bird" one is my favorite. Is that person in the market for a bridge, by any chance?
:D
 
What's bad is that they are not limited to harmless jobs.

A few months ago I tried to file a Pirep about a large, unforecast, area of rain just east of Perry. The guy at FS kept insisting that I had to give him the location in relation to an IFR waypoint.

I'm just a VFR pilot, and I was busy trying to stay out of the rain. So I kept telling him that it was a large area of rain just East of Perry airport, 40J.

Finally he said "I need to give it's location in relation to a waypoint, if I just reference an airport pilots won't have any idea where it is".

He never did accept the pirep :(.
 
mikea said:
I had a couple meltdowns at Sams Club over that. Now Costco does it, too.

You got me hanging as to what they're actually checking. They check too fast to be even doing an item count. I think it's mainly to be sure you don't' have high dollar items in the cart that aren't on the receipt. Costco has the same lame lie, "To be sure you get all the items you've paid for." It may be that. They have some stuff like computer parts where you "buy" a ticket and have to remember to get the real thing when you leave.


CDW used to make you leave your valuables with the gaurd as entered. I was supposed to give this minimum wage maroon my $3000 laptop, cell phone, etc. as I went in to buy something for $100. He actually said, "You have to if you want to buy anything." I showed him thats the offer is not accepted. I left. They since closed their retail stores.

I'M A CUSTOMER, NOT A THIEF! :mad:
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Worked at Sam's Club for about a month. The jist is "Look for high dollar items in the cart not on the receipt." and "Basic estimate of number of items on receipt versus in cart." If one and two are fine, mark the receipt and out the door you go. Some workers are just absurdly slow when it comes to it.

Had one person screw me over on rolled quarters. Paid 50$ in quarters, each roll missing 2$. The guy had placed a bit of metal in the middle so the rolls were the right size and felt the right weight, but at the end of the night, our machine told me there was a weight discrepancy on the rolls, and to pour them out. That was a bit irritating when I realized what happened.
 
KennyFlys said:
Spike,

Your walking out like that reminds me of what Sam's Club and Fry's Electronics does. Sam's counts every item.
Click to expand...

I used to shop at Sams a lot. Then one day I showed up at the register with a few hundred dollars worth of groceries and what not. I presented my credit card, as usual and the pimple faced kid tells me that I have to use a Wal-Mart card or pay cash. I told him that I was going to the car to get the cash. Haven't been back since. I wonder if he's still waiting.
 
Anymouse said:
I used to shop at Sams a lot. Then one day I showed up at the register with a few hundred dollars worth of groceries and what not. I presented my credit card, as usual and the pimple faced kid tells me that I have to use a Wal-Mart card or pay cash. I told him that I was going to the car to get the cash. Haven't been back since. I wonder if he's still waiting.
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I have a Sam's Club credit card that's good at Walmart. They take MasterCard and Discover but will no longer take Visa since Visa won't negotiate lower rates.
 
GaryO said:
What's bad is that they are not limited to harmless jobs.

A few months ago I tried to file a Pirep about a large, unforecast, area of rain just east of Perry. The guy at FS kept insisting that I had to give him the location in relation to an IFR waypoint.

I'm just a VFR pilot, and I was busy trying to stay out of the rain. So I kept telling him that it was a large area of rain just East of Perry airport, 40J.

Finally he said "I need to give it's location in relation to a waypoint, if I just reference an airport pilots won't have any idea where it is".

He never did accept the pirep :(.
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A couple months ago I approached a Class D from the east during a very busy time. TWR had me confused with traffic to the west and it obviously stuck in his head because he kept calling me a Cessna (I was Piper Cherokee) and using a weird contortion of my callsign.

I kept telling him I was 5 nm EAST. He kept saying, "Are you that guy (describes VFR point to the west) or are you that guy above the Cessna to the west?" Finally I told him where I was by using a VOR radial and IFR fix. The fix was even an IAF for his airport.

He said he didn't know where that fix is. Then he told me to swing 5 nm to the south for traffic flow into the airport. I kid you not he came back less that 30 seconds later and he says, "N1234, do you even know where the airport is? Try looking to your 2 o'clock, 4 miles." Real smarmy like.

I figure he thought I was a dummy because when I called ground after landing, they gave me the "student pilot" treatment.
 
In the first year after we moved from California to Washington State, our son and his California-blonde then-girlfriend came up to spend the holidays with us. They went out to pick out a Christmas tree for us and brought back a monster -- the tallest Christmas tree we've ever had.

They told us that the tree salesman said he had already cut six feet off of it. The young lady looked quizzically at the tree then asked the salesman, "... Well ... how did you get it all pointy at the top again?"

:rolleyes:
 
wbarnhill said:
Had one person screw me over on rolled quarters. Paid 50$ in quarters, each roll missing 2$. The guy had placed a bit of metal in the middle so the rolls were the right size and felt the right weight, but at the end of the night, our machine told me there was a weight discrepancy on the rolls, and to pour them out. That was a bit irritating when I realized what happened.
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Seems like a crime of pretty low return versus time and risk invested.
 
Pilawt said:
In the first year after we moved from California to Washington State, our son and his California-blonde then-girlfriend came up to spend the holidays with us. ...
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A blonde: "How come if we're in Chicago, all the license plates say, "Illinois?"
 
Richard said:
People did give! But the questions they would ask...you'd think I was terminally ill and it was only their money which would save me. Not one person questioned the authenticity or actual "need". In a few months I had several hundreds of dollars which I used to fully fund a road trip to Grass Valley for a Bluegrass Festival.
Click to expand...
Were they registered Democrats? ;)
 
mikea said:
I had a couple meltdowns at Sams Club over that. Now Costco does it, too.

You got me hanging as to what they're actually checking. They check too fast to be even doing an item count. I think it's mainly to be sure you don't' have high dollar items in the cart that aren't on the receipt. Costco has the same lame lie, "To be sure you get all the items you've paid for." It may be that. They have some stuff like computer parts where you "buy" a ticket and have to remember to get the real thing when you leave.


CDW used to make you leave your valuables with the gaurd as entered. I was supposed to give this minimum wage maroon my $3000 laptop, cell phone, etc. as I went in to buy something for $100. He actually said, "You have to if you want to buy anything." I showed him thats the offer is not accepted. I left. They since closed their retail stores.

I'M A CUSTOMER, NOT A THIEF! :mad:
Click to expand...

Best Buy checks receipts on the way out, too. Not as much a pain as Frys, but still...
 
Ghery said:
Best Buy checks receipts on the way out, too. Not as much a pain as Frys, but still...
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One of my buddies was in a Best Buy in their early days. The power went out. The security guard wouldn't let anybody leave because the Knogo shoplifting detector wouldn't work.

My buddy wasn't shy. Like it would have been for me, it didn't take long for the guard to be told the error in his thinking.
 
TangoWhiskey said:
Great story, Spike, as usual. I love the way you tell stories... and make me look up words. Your vocabulary is impressive. :yes:
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I'd look them up, but then I'd have to stop trying to practice the pronunciation of the word Floccinaucinihilipilification which is currently up in my dictionary widget. If I lose that, I'll never find that word again!!!

Used in a sentence: Nick Brennan frequently practices Floccinaucinihilipilification. :D (now he's gonna have to learn what it means too. :D :D :D)
 
flyingcheesehead said:
I'd look them up, but then I'd have to stop trying to practice the pronunciation of the word Floccinaucinihilipilification which is currently up in my dictionary widget. If I lose that, I'll never find that word again!!!

Used in a sentence: Nick Brennan frequently practices Floccinaucinihilipilification. :D (now he's gonna have to learn what it means too. :D :D :D)
Click to expand...

Hmmm...should I be offended? Do I often deprecate subjects? lol
 
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