thank you notes from 8 year old

saracelica

saracelica

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saracelica
My sister and bro in law has an eight year old. Every year I send them all a gift usually one for my sis/bro in-law and one for my nephew. Never get a thank you note. Thought about sending SASE with the gift. If I did would I be a jerk/*****?
 
saracelica said:
If I did would I be a jerk/*****?
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Pretty much.

If it bothers you, mention it to your sister.

I should add, you wouldn't be *****/jerk for expecting a thank you. But sending a SASE with the gift as your way of asking for a TY, is a ass way of expressing your displeasure. Address it in person and if that doesn't work, stop sending nice gifts.
 
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saracelica said:
My sister and bro in law has an eight year old. Every year I send them all a gift usually one for my sis/bro in-law and one for my nephew. Never get a thank you note. Thought about sending SASE with the gift. If I did would I be a jerk/*****?
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NOPE....
 
Tell your sister or talk to the kid yourself. We aren't perfect about getting our kid to write thank you notes but we always pitched it as the right thing to do and for the kid motivation angle that writing thank you notes will ensure the present spigot stays on. The better the note the better and more stuff the future is likely to bring.
 
[flame suit on]
It's 2014, email, text, or phone if you wanna be fancy.
[flame suit off]
 
so, you send them a gift? do they ever verbally thank you? if not, next time I spoke to them on the phone I would ask if they received my gift, but with some extra emphasis, you know......"so did you RECEIVE...my GIFT?!?!?!??!"
 
saracelica said:
My sister and bro in law has an eight year old. Every year I send them all a gift usually one for my sis/bro in-law and one for my nephew. Never get a thank you note. Thought about sending SASE with the gift. If I did would I be a jerk/*****?
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Do the sis and bil send you presents? If so, I assume you send thank-you notes, which should be sufficient suggestion.

I'd just send a nice gift to the kid. If he doesn't send a thank-you you can write it up to improper training and nothing personal. And if you don't get the TY, there is nothing that says you can't write to them and ask them if they received the gift. You might even ask if they liked it. If they fail to respond to that, they are hopeless.
 
"Dear Aunt Sara, enclosed is the five dollar gift card for Nordstroms you sent me. Mommy says that maybe after ten years we might have enough of these to buy something there. We were wondering if you could exchange it for a Walmart card instead.

-Love, xoxoxo Timmy"
 
This seems really petty.

I'd take the high road and not be all passive aggressive about it.
If you enjoy getting them a gift do it.

If not getting a thank you card is a big enough deal that it overrides your desire to give a gift to an 8 year old then you are doing it wrong.

Seems pretty selfish to focus on what you didn't get in return versus doing something nice for someone.

I guess I am on the other side from most responders here but this just seems shallow.
 
Screw it. If you don't get a thank you, stop sending them stuff. On the other hand, maybe sending the same thing every year is the real reason.
Just remember, they don't teach manners.
 
Dear Timmy

Listen hear young man, don't drink and drive. Wear your seatbelt and make sure all others traveling with you are wearing theirs. Radar detectors are worthless most of the time. Same direction radar is awesome. Always chew with your mouth closed and do not text while in class.
 
silver-eagle said:
Screw it. If you don't get a thank you, stop sending them stuff. On the other hand, maybe sending the same thing every year is the real reason.
Just remember, they don't teach manners.
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Not in the last two generations anyway....

When I was a kid, we got beat if we didn't thank people for any gifts..
 
The only thing dumber than a thank-you-note is expecting a thank-you-note.

Seriously? What's the point? You send me something and that's nice. I receive it and when I see you next we got something to talk about.

With thank you notes you send me something and I send a note back. But I'm in debt now so send send a small thing since I'm going to the post office anyway. You get my thank you package and feel like my gift was better so you run out and up the gift to send with your thank you note. So now I have two gifts and another thank you note to write. I figure I gotta put a stop to this gift Cold War we got so I send cash. You get the money with a thank you note and figure you should pay off my house. I respond by paying off yours and now we each carry mortgages for each other's house. Since we don't live in the house we're paying for we stop up keeping the property and eventually the roof falls in and kills someone.

So now people are dead and it's all because of thank-you-notes.
 
Captain said:
The only thing dumber than a thank-you-note is expecting a thank-you-note.

Seriously? What's the point? You send me something and that's nice. I receive it and when I see you next we got something to talk about.

With thank you notes you send me something and I send a note back. But I'm in debt now so send send a small thing since I'm going to the post office anyway. You get my thank you package and feel like my gift was better so you run out and up the gift to send with your thank you note. So now I have two gifts and another thank you note to write. I figure I gotta put a stop to this gift Cold War we got so I send cash. You get the money with a thank you note and figure you should pay off my house. I respond by paying off yours and now we each carry mortgages for each other's house. Since we don't live in the house we're paying for we stop up keeping the property and eventually the roof falls in and kills someone.

So now people are dead and it's all because of thank-you-notes.
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Well, well, well - the gift itself could result in death. Who's to say Timmy's latent drug habit gained prior to childbirth won't be enabled by that twenty dollar bill in an envelope?
 
Captain said:
The only thing dumber than a thank-you-note is expecting a thank-you-note.

Seriously? What's the point? You send me something and that's nice. I receive it and when I see you next we got something to talk about.

With thank you notes you send me something and I send a note back. But I'm in debt now so send send a small thing since I'm going to the post office anyway. You get my thank you package and feel like my gift was better so you run out and up the gift to send with your thank you note. So now I have two gifts and another thank you note to write. I figure I gotta put a stop to this gift Cold War we got so I send cash. You get the money with a thank you note and figure you should pay off my house. I respond by paying off yours and now we each carry mortgages for each other's house. Since we don't live in the house we're paying for we stop up keeping the property and eventually the roof falls in and kills someone.

So now people are dead and it's all because of thank-you-notes.
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In this scenario, I would be ****ed if I didn't get a "You're Welcome" note.
 
My wife and all her friends/family are buying all kinds of gifts for each other and running exchanges and whatnot.

All my male friends and I don't buy or exchange gifts for holidays. Seems pointless, we could all just go out and buy whatever we want for $20 and save the hassle, potential embarrassment, conflict, etc. The guys all just generally seem to get this and are all happy with it.

And every year my wife asks me what I want from my in-laws for christmas.
"I don't really need anything"
"Well you have to get something."
"No, I really don't."
"Yes you do."
"Fine, I could use some socks I guess."

a month later
"Oh wow.. socks thank you so much."

Come on, what's the point of this? Let's just have a nice dinner and catch up with each other. This gift exchanging is silly. It was fun when we were kids but as an adult it's just a pain for everybody.
 
cowman said:
Come on, what's the point of this? Let's just have a nice dinner and catch up with each other. This gift exchanging is silly. It was fun when we were kids but as an adult it's just a pain for everybody.
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Yup...
 
Exactly it is for kids. And once they know the truth about Mr Kringle it is just income/straight up bribery. Adults need to get out of holidays, course we had this discussion about Halloween. Can't wait to see how the ladies ruin Easter.:lol:
cowman said:
My wife and all her friends/family are buying all kinds of gifts for each other and running exchanges and whatnot.

All my male friends and I don't buy or exchange gifts for holidays. Seems pointless, we could all just go out and buy whatever we want for $20 and save the hassle, potential embarrassment, conflict, etc. The guys all just generally seem to get this and are all happy with it.

And every year my wife asks me what I want from my in-laws for christmas.
"I don't really need anything"
"Well you have to get something."
"No, I really don't."
"Yes you do."
"Fine, I could use some socks I guess."

a month later
"Oh wow.. socks thank you so much."

Come on, what's the point of this? Let's just have a nice dinner and catch up with each other. This gift exchanging is silly. It was fun when we were kids but as an adult it's just a pain for everybody.
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Ok, I'll say it.....thank you notes are for girls. I've never sent a ty note in my life that wasn't heavily pushed on me by a girl. Hugs, hand shakes, relentless thank you'd in person, buybacks etc, yeah. A hand written thank u note from eman1200? Don't hold ur breath.
DISCLAIMER: I've never been married so that might be a diff story.
 
My nearly adult nephews and niece never acknowledged our gifts. It bugged me that their hyper Christian parents couldn't teach this basic part of life. Finally I wrote them each a letter explaining that the expression of gratitude in life would be a useful trait in adulthood and the real world.

They're better now. Don't think that would work with an 8 year old though...that's fully the parents' fault.
 
If it was anything other that a child, trolling for good behavior isn't polite either. I'm not sure a SASE gives the right message either. It's right up there with the disgusting "SASE" RSVP form that comes with many social invitations these days.
The fact that people even need to be told they have to RSVP let alone providing a SASE to do so, is abhorrent. I sent out invitations to our annual party with our address/phone number/email I've gotten perhaps 3 replies, but I've learned to be flexible.

Maybe a set of stationary, pens, and postage stamps might encourage the child to learn how to appropriately correspond.

I'm thankful for even seeing the pre printed "THANK YOU" cards though those aren't particularly appropriate either. I wasn't married that long ago, but I still remember sending out many handwritten thank you notes (admittedly on informal stationary) for those who sent us gifts.

Even the most socially inept can know good manners. Teenager who was pretty much a classic geek and perhaps even ADHD stay with us for a few weeks when visiting DC one summer. Darned if I didn't get a nice thank you card promptly when he returned home. Don't know if his mom put him up to it, but I suspect that the way he was brought up, he knew that was the right thing to do. I've generally found I can tell the children of military officers. They know HOW to behave even when they don't always choose to do so.

But rather thank getting ****ed off when people don't correspond, just treasure those that do.
 
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I could get behind a 'thank-you-email' concept...


I guess my overall point is times have changed. It's unreasonable to expect snail mail anything these days. Too much effort involved as it requires me to go out and buy crap to do it. I don't have envelops or stamps and its rude to expect me to go get them just to tell you thank you for a gift I didn't ask for or require.

Obviously you're doing a nice thing sending the gift in the first place, I'm not taking that away...but you're nice thing shouldn't become a rude thing by expecting stuff in return. Then it becomes a sale that the buyer didn't have any say in. That's way more rude than lack of a thank you note.
 
I am probably a statistical outlier here, but idgaf. I was raised by my grandparents, and I always send a thank you note when i get a gift from someone, and I make sure my stepkids send one as well.
 
Captain said:
I could get behind a 'thank-you-email' concept...
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Well, I suppose it is better than nothing.
I guess my overall point is times have changed. It's unreasonable to expect snail mail anything these days. Too much effort involved as it requires me to go out and buy crap to do it. I don't have envelops or stamps and its rude to expect me to go get them just to tell you thank you for a gift I didn't ask for or require.
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The fact you have to make an effort is the entire point.

Of course, the issue is that most people are so rude they won't exert any LEVEL of effort be it even texting "thx 4 gift" to the giver.
 
flyingron said:
Well, I suppose it is better than nothing.

The fact you have to make an effort is the entire point.

Of course, the issue is that most people are so rude they won't exert any LEVEL of effort be it even texting "thx 4 gift" to the giver.
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So me giving you something is me demanding effort from you? What kind of 'gift' is that? You'd be better off if I just sent you a card saying, "relax...don't do anything."

Life is fast paced now and the best gift I could get would be something that frees up time. A gift that makes me do work isn't a gift. I'm picturing someone walking into my house and throwing a box of toothpicks all over the place and saying "Here's a gift of toothpicks" as they leave me to pick up the mess. Not really a gift.

Seriously, I don't want to be rude or commit some social mistake, but it doesn't seem like giving if you're expecting in return. I think an email, text, or phone call is more appropriate these days to say "thanks" to basically let the sender know you received it.
 
I guess I would have to ask the question (this is directed to Sara) Why are you giving the gift in the first place? Just cause? Sense of obligation? Help with a need?

If it's unsolicited, don't expect a response. If he asked for it, expect a thank you. If his folks expect it, well then take the issue up with them. I wouldn't go the SASE route, that would be tacky.
 
flyingron said:
The fact you have to make an effort is the entire point.
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I have to say I disagree with that completely.

The entire point is letting the person who gave you the gift know you appreciate it. A verbal thank you next time you're in the same room or on the phone is plenty. A text or really any kind of communication whatsoever is perfectly fine. A photo of them actually enjoying said item on social media is above and beyond.

Thank you notes to me have that same feel as when little Billy gets socks for christmas and has to recite a rote "thank you grandma" even though everyone knows he really didn't want socks. Might as well not even bother..

Of course, I'm also the sort who's completely bewildered why anyone still sends handwritten letters when everyone has email now....
 
Thank you note from an 8 year old:

Dear weird uncle Bill,

Momma says thank you for the gift.

Momma says I like it very much.

Momma says it might be too loud to play with so it will go into the closet and only be played with a certain times.

Momma says those times will be when she is not home.
 
I don't suspect that too many kids write thank you notes unless their parents tell them to.

Rich
 
I never expect a thank you for a gift given. If I believe the person appreciates the gift, that's all I need. If I don't believe a gift would be appreciated, I don't give. But no, I don't need to be stroked because I gave you something.
 
If you receive a gift handed to you from someone in person, do you acknowledge it with a "Thank you"?

That should not change if the gift is received via FedEx.

While the joy is in giving....there is also joy (and good manners) in accepting and showing appreciation of the gift.

JMHO,

Merry Christmas, yáll......

Mike
 
MikeELP said:
Consider taking a long time-out from posting. "Free Time" issue solved.

:yes:
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You run your life and I'll run mine. That's good manners.

MikeELP said:
If you receive a gift handed to you from someone in person, do you acknowledge it with a "Thank you"?

That should not change if the gift is received via FedEx.

While the joy is in giving....there is also joy (and good manners) in accepting and showing appreciation of the gift.

JMHO,

Merry Christmas, yáll......

Mike
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If a phone call, email, text, or in person when you see them satisfies this then fine. But this thread is about thank you notes presumably mailed and you had nothing to say about that.
 
saracelica said:
My sister and bro in law has an eight year old. Every year I send them all a gift usually one for my sis/bro in-law and one for my nephew. Never get a thank you note. Thought about sending SASE with the gift. If I did would I be a jerk/*****?
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No, just hideously passive-aggressive.

If you want something, ask for it like an adult. If you can't ask for it, you don't need it.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
Captain said:
You run your life and I'll run mine. That's good manners..
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Hey..YOU were the one that wanted a "gift" that would give you more free time. I offered you a way to get that gift with no stings attached - no thank you card, call or email needed. ;)

Now do yourself a favor and just stay away from the keyboard for about a month and enjoy your gift. You will have LOTS of free time.

Merry Christmas. :D
 
And you're the one asking I leave this forum. About about you jump in a lake. The answer is no.
 
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