TENS Device

SixPapaCharlie

SixPapaCharlie

May the force be with you
Joined
Aug 8, 2013
Messages
17,546
Display Name
First Officer 6PC
I am departing my youth and starting to wear at my different connections.
The outside still looks good but the pulleys and cables are not what they were in my 20s.

Some lower back issues, a shoulder issue, random muscle aches.

Enter the TENS machine. Oh God you wonderful little thing.

Giving me a deep tissue massage as I type this and It is like a thousand tiny unicorns dancing on my spine. Or actually it is like they are shocking me. It is exactly like one d**khead unicorn just shocking me over and over. That dancing part was stretching the truth a bit.

Picked this thing up at walgreens tonight and it shocks you where you feel the pain which sounds bad but it really feels awesome.

Couple things. Obviously when nobody is looking you are going to goof around with this thing sticking it in random places. Just remember face first, balls second. If you do that reversed then ewe :confused:

You do have to take careful consideration of the order in which you are going to "stimulate" things. You will no doubt at some point want to try it on your nipples which is the funniest damn thing. But you have to consider where you rank your own nipples in the grand scheme of things.

I don't mean like against other dudes nipples. It isn't some sort of nipple beauty contest. Though if it were I think I might not come in last. Who would watch a male nipple beauty contest? Forget it, that question is probably better suited for my "Nipples of America" forum. What a bunch of big egos over there.

Where was I? Oh, you are at some point going to stick this device on your face. What you will learn is it is hysterical and you are going to want to do it again so your friends can see. These friends will know you are the type to put an electro-shock machine on your face and will right away assume you have put it on every conceivable place weather you have or not (And you have)

I am not sure where I am going with this but I think nipples to face should be socially acceptable and furthermore I notice when you put the electrodes on your forearm your hand opens and contracts giving you a death grip momentarily and releasing with each pulse. The reason I point this out is in the event you are not a "Nipples to face is socially acceptable" sort of guy, then you can to the forearm deal and grab your man-teet (medical term) and watch it squeeze and release which is also funny as hell. Anyone would agree that if you did that, then going right to your face with this thing would be smiled upon by the most modest of meemaws.

What I am getting at is I think at Thanksgiving, you can totally break out the forearm-teet-grab into left eye, right cheek combo with this thing and meemaw is going to find it so funny she will probably want to try that herself. Which is not okay and also why she belongs in a home.

There are kids present and they don't need to be seeing this. This sort of thing should be reserved for Papaw but he no doubt will wrestle the device away from Meemaw to "Try out the super grip" Which is also not okay.
Your grandparents are freaky and sick man. They can keep my TENS machine. It smells like old people now anyway.

Happy Thanksgiving.
 
Last edited:
I like that for "Gluteus" we get a lady

da54fa70126c6e5debcb8c0716338495.jpg
 
hmmmm.... worth investigating. I am no spring chicken and have had multiple injuries during my earlier days. I really get to hurting at times.

If I had known that getting old sucks so much, I would have taken better care of myself when I was young.
 
Now that I have turned 50, I have noticed I make a funny noise as I sit down. That is a change... Since I was 40 I only made that noise while standing up. I guess I'm getting old. By the time I'm 60 I may be farting as I walk???
 
Zeldman said:
hmmmm.... worth investigating. I am no spring chicken and have had multiple injuries during my earlier days. I really get to hurting at times.

If I had known that getting old sucks so much, I would have taken better care of myself when I was young.
Click to expand...


My PT guy used one on me and I hated when the session was over.
I found out I could buy one and so I did.

I have a bit of a muscle spasm between my neck and shoulder and this thing is helping a great deal. You have control of the current so you start out at 0 and bump it up a bit at a time.
 
My girlfriend had a fall at work last month and had to go to to physical therapy. At the end of each session they had one of those machines with 4 electrodes on her back for 15-30min. She said it helped a lot after you got over the weird feeling. They combined it with cold packs and raising her legs with a pillow and the cold did some wonders too, one of the physical trainer guys swore by it. YMMV
 
If you wire up your abs, can you get yourself a six-pack while on the couch watching Oprah?
 
Matthew said:
If you wire up your abs, can you get yourself a six-pack while on the couch watching Oprah?
Click to expand...

Someone did the math on that once and it would take something like 2500 years while doing nothing and consuming a 2000 calorie diet
 
SixPapaCharlie said:
I like that for "Gluteus" we get a lady

da54fa70126c6e5debcb8c0716338495.jpg
Click to expand...
Why do you assume the "Gluteus" is a lady? I'm wearing a pair of underwear like that right now. Except mine are prettier. You know, in a manly kind of way.
 
Sluggo63 said:
Why do you assume the "Gluteus" is a lady? I'm wearing a pair of underwear like that right now. Except mine are prettier. You know, in a manly kind of way.
Click to expand...

Noted. There's a transgender thread going on in the spin zone, you may want to join.
 
That picture gave me an enormous boner but now I feel disturbed.
 
SixPapaCharlie said:
This is the one
http://www.walgreens.com/store/c/omron-electrotherapy-pain-relief-pro-device/ID=prod6219703-product
Click to expand...

I bought one of those for my wife, who has an occasional sore neck. Her use of it lasted about two seconds. Obviously, not the answer for that problem.

That said, I bought a different unit about 25 years ago in Japan - for some back problems I was having at the time. It worked wonders for my situation. My first exposure to the TENS was with an unfortunate co-worker who had suffered a severe back injury. His choice was to use the TENS or take increasing doses of painkillers (that became increasingly ineffective). So the device definitely has its uses.

Never tried anything else with mine (but did think it would make a good practical joke to sneak up behind a "victim" and clamp the electrodes on his ears) Never did that, though. Probably a good way to start a fight!

Dave
 
You guys must be on some bad ****. You even think you are making sense.
 
In high school, my dad was issued a kit. I played with it a lot. Put two on each forearm and turned it up. Not smart, as I could not turn it off (box clipped to my belt). With each pulse my hands closed. In between pulses there was a good enough charge to render my hands useless. I finally knocked it off. Fun times.

My cousin was more daring. He decided to against the illustrations on where to not place the pads and put them on his temples. I laughed.
 
Part of the neuro-rehab unit where I worked as an RN was devoted to pain management (especially low back pain). I only filled in for the RN who usually worked that section (my clinical sub-specialty was traumatic brain injury), but I worked it enough to see that TENS was effective about 50% of the time. That's enough for me to say that I think it's always worth a shot and, when it does work, it is a great alternative to medications or surgery.
 
I am not sure if it fixes anything but it feels good.
Sort of like going to a chiropractor.
 
Zeldman said:
hmmmm.... worth investigating. I am no spring chicken and have had multiple injuries during my earlier days. I really get to hurting at times.

If I had known that getting old sucks so much, I would have taken better care of myself when I was young.
Click to expand...

Yeah.....

I hurt some days,, But... I would NOT change a thing in my earlier life...:no:...

It was worth every ache and pain... and I would not change one thing...;)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top