Some day N/A

[Richard]

Some day, when I am very old and have nothing to lose, when I don't give a rip what they do to me, I'm going to give them the answer they've secretly been waiting to hear:

THEM: "Welcome back to the USA, go stand in the yellow painted box. Do you have any drugs or weapons in your baggage?"

ME: "Officer, I'm happy to say I DO have drugs in my baggage and it's some pretty good ****, if I may say so. Also, I have many guns, but don't ask me how I got them."

THEM: "Did someone other than yourself handle your baggage or has it been out of your sight?"

ME: "Why yes! And it sure is heavy for just a two day trip, lots of metal sounding things clanking against each other. It hasn't been out of my sight other than when I stopped in at the gun & ammo store on the way to the airport."

THEM: "Do you mind if we search your bags?"

ME: "Yes, I do mind. If you search my bags you'll find the BOMB which you're not supposed to know about. Now let an old man through, you young punk."

 

[deafsound]

Did you have a bad day at customs?

 

[SkyHog]

Some day, when I am very old and have nothing to lose, when I don't give a rip what they do to me, I'm going to give them the answer they've secretly been waiting to hear:

THEM: "Welcome back to the USA, go stand in the yellow painted box. Do you have any drugs or weapons in your baggage?"

ME: "Officer, I'm happy to say I DO have drugs in my baggage and it's some pretty good ****, if I may say so. Also, I have many guns, but don't ask me how I got them."

THEM: "Did someone other than yourself handle your baggage or has it been out of your sight?"

ME: "Why yes! And it sure is heavy for just a two day trip, lots of metal sounding things clanking against each other. It hasn't been out of my sight other than when I stopped in at the gun & ammo store on the way to the airport."

THEM: "Do you mind if we search your bags?"

ME: "Yes, I do mind. If you search my bags you'll find the BOMB which you're not supposed to know about. Now let an old man through, you young punk."

Thats pretty good. While I've never dealt with customs since I've been an adult, I have had a run in with border patrol here. There is a border patrol station between Las Cruces and Albuquerque on I-25 that is placed many many many miles away from the Mexican border. Some dude that barely spoke english and was of hispanic descent walked up to my truck, M16 in hand and said "excusa me, are you American?"

It was very, very tempting to say "Yes, are you?"

But that sounds more racist than I intend it to. I guess you had to be there.

 

[Tom-D]

OMG it is all about them damn cubans and mexicans, 99% of BC bud comes across the the Wa./ BC boarder

Yet when I stop and declare customs at FRH, I get.

OH Hi Tom, you still flying this junk?

you got your paper work,,

Yes, and Yes!

OK have a nice flight.


Last time I crossed Ed asked me if I had any Hazmat on board, I told him yes, me..

he said "yeah right get the he-- out of here."

 

[mike21951]

an old Stevev Wright line sure to get you in trouble nowadays:

Canadian customs inspector: "Do you have any firearms?"

Steven: "...(sniff) ...Whadda ya need?"

 

[Ghery]

an old Stevev Wright line sure to get you in trouble nowadays:

Canadian customs inspector: "Do you have any firearms?"

Steven: "...(sniff) ...Whadda ya need?"

Actually, the question I get from Canadian customs is "Do you have any offensive weapons in your vehicle?" I'm not sure how to answer that. No nukes, no short range attack missiles, nothing of that sort. Just what do THEY call an offensive weapon?

 

[Ken Ibold]

Actually, the question I get from Canadian customs is "Do you have any offensive weapons in your vehicle?" I'm not sure how to answer that. No nukes, no short range attack missiles, nothing of that sort. Just what do THEY call an offensive weapon?

"No officer. This AK-47, box of hand grenades, hellfire missile and suitcase of spent uranium are simply for self defense."

 

[Ghery]

THEM: "Did someone other than yourself handle your baggage or has it been out of your sight?"

Yes, someone has had it. TSA. And I don't know what they did with it, other than place a piece of paper in it that I didn't know about until I opened it at my destination. Oh, and the only time I've ever had anything stolen from a bag there's a good chance it was TSA, although two airlines had a crack at it, too.

 

[bharris]

Yes, someone has had it. TSA. And I don't know what they did with it, other than place a piece of paper in it that I didn't know about until I opened it at my destination. Oh, and the only time I've ever had anything stolen from a bag there's a good chance it was TSA, although two airlines had a crack at it, too.

Don't ever put anything you really want to keep in checked baggage!

 

[Toby]

This morning when I went through customs to get back into the U.S. from Canada, I could not believe how many questions she asked me. I was thoroughly quizzed about where I was employed, for how long, and exactly what I do at my job. And I had to tell her everything that was in the back seat. This probably happened because I went through truck customs instead of auto by mistake. Grrrrrr.

 

[mmilano]

there will never be a day when i'm so old i have nothing to lose so long as the term "cavity search" is still in use.