So What Are Your Holiday Plans?

[Half Fast]

Once again, the happiest time of the year is almost upon us. Next week will be National Engineer’s Week, that joyous season when we show our appreciation for all the miracles the profession has wrought and honor the engineer miracle workers among us.

How do you plan to celebrate?

 

[Ventucky Red]

Lucky me, another reason to have a barb-ba-que. Thank you sir, you're a credit to the profession.

 

[Tools]

Hmmm….

find the most mechanical thing I can, and use it? And be grateful for it?

and visit Dearborn village… to pay respects?

I always wanted to be an engineer, turns out I’m not smart enough. And I isn’t dumb, really, it’s HARD.

 

[Zeldman]

Next week will be National Engineer’s Week....How do you plan to celebrate?

I'll wave to all the train drivers as they go through town....

 

[RyanB]

and visit Dearborn village… to pay respects?

In Detroit?

 

[Half Fast]

I'll wave to all the train drivers as they go through town....

Attention mods: this forum needs a "groan" button.

 

[eman1200]

coincidentally it's also the week where the most lunch money is stolen.

 

[Half Fast]

Schedule for the week:

Mon - National Thank an Engineer Day
Tue - National Hug an Engineer Day
Wed - National Kiss an Engineer Day
Thu - National Seduce an Engineer Day
Fri - National Dump an Engineer Day​

 

[Tools]

This isn’t your first rodeo, is it?!!

 

[kyleb]

coincidentally it's also the week where the most lunch money is stolen.

Maybe all those power outages at your place ARE a coincidence.

Naah.

 

[Sac Arrow]

Lucky me, another reason to have a barb-ba-que. Thank you sir, you're a credit to the profession.

You win. Any reason to have BBQ is justification in itself.

 

[Sac Arrow]

Once again, the happiest time of the year is almost upon us. Next week will be National Engineer’s Week, that joyous season when we show our appreciation for all the miracles the profession has wrought and honor the engineer miracle workers among us.

How do you plan to celebrate?

I do not pride myself on being an engineer. I have learned a long time ago that pulling out my engineer card in a bar in lovely company is less likely to earn results than pulling out my pilot card in lovely company in a bar. And we all know that doesn't work.

 

[Sac Arrow]

****. That should be my signature.

 

[Morgan3820]

Schedule for the week:

Mon - National Thank an Engineer Day
Tue - National Hug an Engineer Day
Wed - National Kiss an Engineer Day
Thu - National Seduce an Engineer Day
Fri - National Dump an Engineer Day​

How about some engineer jokes?
I’ll start.
https://www.wanderings.net/notebook/Main/EngineerManagerHotAirBalloon
Love the classics.

 

[Half Fast]

I do not pride myself on being an engineer. I have learned a long time ago that pulling out my engineer card in a bar in lovely company is less likely to earn results than pulling out my pilot card in lovely company in a bar. And we all know that doesn't work.

I learned long ago that the only card that works in that situation is a platinum credit card.

 

[Half Fast]

How about some engineer jokes?
I’ll start.
https://www.wanderings.net/notebook/Main/EngineerManagerHotAirBalloon
Love the classics.

Q - What does an engineer use for birth control?
A - His personality.

 

[Albany Tom]

A long, long time ago I was on a date with a girl from a local college. I'd made the mistake of mentioning that I was an electrical engineering student. She looked puzzled. I asked her why she was puzzled. She said "well, I understand what an engineer is, they design bridges and stuff. But I don't know what an electrical engineer does." She pauses, and asks "So do you design the lights for the bridges?" And somehow I kept a straight face and said 'Uh, yeah, I think that would qualify'.

Since then I've just told people I do "computer stuff", which leads them to believe I don't know what I do, and I'm good with that.

 

[Let'sgoflying!]

I love engineers!
Especially the entertainment they provide lol!
https://www.amazon.com/Why-Buildings-Fall-Down-Structures/dp/039331152X

 

[NealRomeoGolf]

Q - What does an engineer use for birth control?
A - His personality.

No, no, no. That's a viola joke. You can't steal it.

 

[kyleb]

I love engineers!
Especially the entertainment they provide lol!
https://www.amazon.com/Why-Buildings-Fall-Down-Structures/dp/039331152X

Cliff's notes version: Gravity.

 

[RyanShort1]

No, no, no. That's a viola joke. You can't steal it.

Oh, rippin' on Viola players now?

 

[kyleb]

Oh, rippin' on Viola players now?

There aren't enough bassoonists to make it worthwhile.

 

[NealRomeoGolf]

Oh, rippin' on Viola players now?

I have a whole book.

 

[Tools]

An engineer and a scientist are placed 20 ft from a beautiful naked woman and told they may advance only one half the distance to the woman but can do that an infinite number of times…

The scientist throws his arms up in despair because he knows he will NEVER make it all the way to the beautiful naked woman.

The engineer smiles because he knows he will get close enough for all practical purposes!

 

[Half Fast]

An engineer, a physicist and a mathematician find themselves in an anecdote, indeed an anecdote quite similar to many that you have no doubt already heard.

After some observations and rough calculations the engineer realizes the situation and starts laughing.

A few minutes later the physicist understands too and chuckles to himself happily as he now has enough experimental evidence to publish a paper.

This leaves the mathematician somewhat perplexed, as he had observed right away that he was the subject of an anecdote, and deduced quite rapidly the presence of humour from similar anecdotes, but considers this anecdote to be too trivial a corollary to be significant, let alone funny.

 

[Hang 4]

What's the definition of an outgoing engineer?
In conversations he stares at your shoes instead of his own.

 

[brcase]

Cliff's notes version: Gravity.

I remember a friend telling me about a engineer he worked with that had the Nickname "Skyhook" because his designs tended have no other means of support.

Brian

 

[2-Bit Speed]

I remember a friend telling me about a engineer he worked with that had the Nickname "Skyhook" because his designs tended have no other means of support.

Brian

I take it they were too scared to call him Pixie Dust?

 

[a572mike]

I'll celebrate by doing what engineers do. WORK.

Although, since Monday is an actual day off, I plan to go up the mountain and ride my snowmobile...

 

[NealRomeoGolf]

That's funny. I've never seen an engineer work.

*shots fired*

 

[Half Fast]

That's funny. I've never seen an engineer work.

*shots fired*

Some might say that it's unwise to pick a fight with people who know how to put a cruise missile through your bedroom window from a thousand miles away.

 

[MauleSkinner]

That's funny. I've never seen an engineer work.

*shots fired*

I can’t speak for engineers, but I became a pilot because I didn’t want to have to work for a living. I grew up working…it sucks.

 

[Tarheelpilot]

I do not pride myself on being an engineer. I have learned a long time ago that pulling out my engineer card in a bar in lovely company is less likely to earn results than pulling out my pilot card in lovely company in a bar. And we all know that doesn't work.

I dunno.

My wife only went out with me because I took her for an airplane ride. She was adamant it was not under any circumstances a date. That airplane ride was twenty seven years ago.

So being a pilot has been getting me laid for almost three decades now. Pretty good deal in my opinion.

Happy engineers week to all you nerds. I’ll go watch some modern marvels: Engineering Disasters. Always fun to pick on the dumb ones in class.

 

[NealRomeoGolf]

I can’t speak for engineers, but I became a pilot because I didn’t want to have to work for a living. I grew up working…it sucks.

All I know is that at my company, which has LOTS of engineers, from a time perspective, my profession way out does them.

 

[Jim K]

All I know is that at my company, which has LOTS of engineers, from a time perspective, my profession way out does them.

They also came up with the HEUI system, so don't be too surprised if they appear to be mailing it in, because they are.

 

[Htaylor]

I do not pride myself on being an engineer. I have learned a long time ago that pulling out my engineer card in a bar in lovely company is less likely to earn results than pulling out my pilot card in lovely company in a bar. And we all know that doesn't work.

But what happens if you pull out your Man Card? Wait......maybe I don''t want to know. But I hear it's bad when the Man Card doesn't work.

 

[SoonerAviator]

Some might say that it's unwise to pick a fight with people who know how to put a cruise missile through your bedroom window from a thousand miles away.

Just as equal a chance that it is one of the engineers who created the first galactic yard sale with the Mars Rover.

 

[nauga]

All I know is that at my company, which has LOTS of engineers, from a time perspective, my profession way out does them.

You should automate!

Nauga,
and measured counters

 

[NealRomeoGolf]

I suspect he knows that knowledge does not equate to ability.

You should automate!

Nauga,
and measured counters

They've chosen to outsource first.

 

[nauga]

They've chosen to outsource first.

That's the just a cheaper form of automation.

Nauga,
amateur wetware developer