Richard
Final Approach
- Joined
- Feb 27, 2005
- Messages
- 9,076
- Location
- West Coast Resistance
- Display Name
Display name:
Ack...city life
This is an e-mail I received. I've not raised boys, but I have seen it done and I was one. Still am, some might say. They would not be wrong.
Happiness is something that comes into our lives through doors we don't even
remember leaving open.
This is so awesome
Subject: RAISING BOYS
a) For those who have grown children, this is hysterical.
b) For those who have children past this age, this is hilarious.
c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.
The following came from an anonymous mother in
Austin Texes
Things I've learned from my boys (honest and not kidding):
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft.
house 4 inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with
roller blades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded
restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not
strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a
Superman cape.
It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint 20
on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using
a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times
before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball
hit
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words uh oh,
it's already to late.
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9) A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though
36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies.
10.) Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year
old
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still
can't walk on water.
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15.) VCR's do not eject PB & J; sandwiches even though
TV commercials say they do
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do
not like ovens.
20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
It will, however, make cats dizzy. Cats throw up twice their body weight
when dizzy.
22.) 80% of women will pass this on to almost all of their friends,
with or without kids.
23.)80% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake
fluid.
