gkainz
Final Approach
From my friend, the crusty old Navy mechanic
THIS IS FOR ALL WHO FLEW RADIAL ENGINE POWERED AIRCRAFT AT ONE TIME OR ANOTHER
We gotta get rid of those turbines; they're ruining aviation and our hearing... A turbine is too simple-minded, it has no mystery. The air travels through it in a straight line and doesn't pick up any of the pungent fragrance of engine oil or pilot sweat.
Anybody can start a turbine. You just need to move a switch from "OFF" to "START" and then remember to move it back to "ON" after a while. My computer is harder to start.
Cranking a radial engine requires skill, finesse and style. You have to seduce it into starting. It's like waking up a horny mistress. On some planes, the pilots aren't even allowed to do it...
Turbines start by whining for a while, then give a lady-like poof and start whining a little louder.
Radial engines give a satisfying rattle-rattle, click-click, BANG, more rattles, another BANG, a big macho fart or two, more clicks, a lot more smoke and finally a serious low pitched roar. We like that. It's a GUY thing...
When you start a radial engine, your mind is engaged and you can concentrate on the flight ahead. Starting a turbine is like flicking on a ceiling fan. It is useful, but hardly exciting.
When you have started his radial engine successfully, your crew chief looks up at you like he'd let you kiss his girl too!
Turbines don't break or catch fire often enough, which leads to aircrew boredom, complacency and inattention. A radial engine at speed looks and sounds like it's going to blow any minute. This helps concentrate the mind! Turbines don't have enough control levers or gauges to keep a pilot's attention. There's nothing to fiddle with during long flights.
Turbines smell like a Boy Scout camp full of Coleman Lamps.
Radial engines smell like God intended machines to smell.
THIS IS FOR ALL WHO FLEW RADIAL ENGINE POWERED AIRCRAFT AT ONE TIME OR ANOTHER
We gotta get rid of those turbines; they're ruining aviation and our hearing... A turbine is too simple-minded, it has no mystery. The air travels through it in a straight line and doesn't pick up any of the pungent fragrance of engine oil or pilot sweat.
Anybody can start a turbine. You just need to move a switch from "OFF" to "START" and then remember to move it back to "ON" after a while. My computer is harder to start.
Cranking a radial engine requires skill, finesse and style. You have to seduce it into starting. It's like waking up a horny mistress. On some planes, the pilots aren't even allowed to do it...
Turbines start by whining for a while, then give a lady-like poof and start whining a little louder.
Radial engines give a satisfying rattle-rattle, click-click, BANG, more rattles, another BANG, a big macho fart or two, more clicks, a lot more smoke and finally a serious low pitched roar. We like that. It's a GUY thing...
When you start a radial engine, your mind is engaged and you can concentrate on the flight ahead. Starting a turbine is like flicking on a ceiling fan. It is useful, but hardly exciting.
When you have started his radial engine successfully, your crew chief looks up at you like he'd let you kiss his girl too!
Turbines don't break or catch fire often enough, which leads to aircrew boredom, complacency and inattention. A radial engine at speed looks and sounds like it's going to blow any minute. This helps concentrate the mind! Turbines don't have enough control levers or gauges to keep a pilot's attention. There's nothing to fiddle with during long flights.
Turbines smell like a Boy Scout camp full of Coleman Lamps.
Radial engines smell like God intended machines to smell.
