Greebo
N9017H - C172M (1976)
- Joined
- Feb 11, 2005
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- 10,976
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- Baltimore, MD
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Retired Evil Overlord
At a press conference at the Starbucks World Headquarters in Seattle, Washington held late last night, Chuck Haeberle of the Pilots of America message forum (http://www.pilotsofamerica.com) appeared with Starbucks CEO, Orin Smith, making the surprise announcement that Starbucks and Pilots of America, commonly referred to as PoA, were joining forces to boost both Coffee sales and general interest in Aviation on a global scale.
"Pilots of America represents a powerful venture in Aviation Community Building," said CEO Smith, "something we at Starbucks have wanted to help promote for years, but could never quite figure out the best way to do it, until PoA Appeared on the scene a few months ago, taking the Aviation Community by storm. We have known that airplanes and coffee have been natural pairs since we were founded in 1971."
"Really, the problem for Starbucks has been that while they know Coffee, they just don't know any other technology," said Chuck Haeberle, of the Pilots of America Management Team. "I mean, Starbucks isn't exactly known as an 'Internet Cafe', is it? So Orin contacted me about three weeks ago asking if I had any ideas for joining forces. He knew I was a good candidate to approach because of all the activity on my Starbucks Drink Card."
Is it possible that Aviation and Coffee really have so much in common as to form a joint venture? "Absolutely!" replied both Mr. Smith and Mr. Haeberle in unison. "We have a two pronged business plan, " continued Mr. Smith. "PoA will spearhead the project to establish at every Starbucks a network of 'Board Booths' - terminals from which customers can access aviation related websites (with PoA as the starting page)."
"Laterally, " continued Mr. Haeberle, "Starbucks will spearhead a plan to install Starbucks booths at every airport in America, and eventually, on a global scale. This approach will draw Starbucks' regular customer base to the aviation community by linking their natural caffeine addiction with the stimulating topic of Aviation - a real adrenaline pusher, if you know what I mean! The interest generated by the 'Board Booths' will draw the prospective new student pilots to the airports, where they will continue to be able to feed their habit while they begin training."
"Fortunately, we know the new prospective students will all be well off in life enough to afford the somewhat expensive training, because if they can afford Starbucks coffee drinks, then they've already got loads of money." said Orin Smith.
Of course, not everyone met the announcement with Enthusiasm. Former Boeing CEO Harry Stonecipher, who resigned amid scandal on March 7th, said, when reached for comment, "If Starbucks was so interested in Aviation, why didn't they contact us! We're one of the oldest promoters of Aviation in in America! We're based in Seattle, for crying out loud!!! Well - Boeing is - I mean, since I don't work there anymore...but I WOULD if Starbucks had talked to me about this! It would have saved my career!!!"
Orin Smith, when questioned about why they didn't contact Boeing about their claimed long standing desire to mix coffee and airplanes said, "Boeing was uninterested in our proposal to install Starbucks Drink Vending Machines in their airplanes. With that lack of vision, we knew they weren't the partner to work with on a long term basis."
Limited response to the announcement has been forthcoming so far, in part because of surprise in the Financial Community that Starbucks is claiming to have had a long standing interest in Aviation. Other members of the Aviation Community were also taken unawares by the announcement. Norman Y. Mineta, Secretary of Transportation, was reached for comment, and stated, "Pilots of America? America has pilots?!? Wow! Someone get me a coffee and take me to an airport!"
"Some may laugh at us, or call us crazy, but we know that this will work, and nobody is going to stop us!" said Mr. Smith. "We're going all the way to the top! Prepare for takeoff!!" shouted Mr Haeberle, before the two left the podium.
"Pilots of America represents a powerful venture in Aviation Community Building," said CEO Smith, "something we at Starbucks have wanted to help promote for years, but could never quite figure out the best way to do it, until PoA Appeared on the scene a few months ago, taking the Aviation Community by storm. We have known that airplanes and coffee have been natural pairs since we were founded in 1971."
"Really, the problem for Starbucks has been that while they know Coffee, they just don't know any other technology," said Chuck Haeberle, of the Pilots of America Management Team. "I mean, Starbucks isn't exactly known as an 'Internet Cafe', is it? So Orin contacted me about three weeks ago asking if I had any ideas for joining forces. He knew I was a good candidate to approach because of all the activity on my Starbucks Drink Card."
Is it possible that Aviation and Coffee really have so much in common as to form a joint venture? "Absolutely!" replied both Mr. Smith and Mr. Haeberle in unison. "We have a two pronged business plan, " continued Mr. Smith. "PoA will spearhead the project to establish at every Starbucks a network of 'Board Booths' - terminals from which customers can access aviation related websites (with PoA as the starting page)."
"Laterally, " continued Mr. Haeberle, "Starbucks will spearhead a plan to install Starbucks booths at every airport in America, and eventually, on a global scale. This approach will draw Starbucks' regular customer base to the aviation community by linking their natural caffeine addiction with the stimulating topic of Aviation - a real adrenaline pusher, if you know what I mean! The interest generated by the 'Board Booths' will draw the prospective new student pilots to the airports, where they will continue to be able to feed their habit while they begin training."
"Fortunately, we know the new prospective students will all be well off in life enough to afford the somewhat expensive training, because if they can afford Starbucks coffee drinks, then they've already got loads of money." said Orin Smith.
Of course, not everyone met the announcement with Enthusiasm. Former Boeing CEO Harry Stonecipher, who resigned amid scandal on March 7th, said, when reached for comment, "If Starbucks was so interested in Aviation, why didn't they contact us! We're one of the oldest promoters of Aviation in in America! We're based in Seattle, for crying out loud!!! Well - Boeing is - I mean, since I don't work there anymore...but I WOULD if Starbucks had talked to me about this! It would have saved my career!!!"
Orin Smith, when questioned about why they didn't contact Boeing about their claimed long standing desire to mix coffee and airplanes said, "Boeing was uninterested in our proposal to install Starbucks Drink Vending Machines in their airplanes. With that lack of vision, we knew they weren't the partner to work with on a long term basis."
Limited response to the announcement has been forthcoming so far, in part because of surprise in the Financial Community that Starbucks is claiming to have had a long standing interest in Aviation. Other members of the Aviation Community were also taken unawares by the announcement. Norman Y. Mineta, Secretary of Transportation, was reached for comment, and stated, "Pilots of America? America has pilots?!? Wow! Someone get me a coffee and take me to an airport!"
"Some may laugh at us, or call us crazy, but we know that this will work, and nobody is going to stop us!" said Mr. Smith. "We're going all the way to the top! Prepare for takeoff!!" shouted Mr Haeberle, before the two left the podium.
Prepared for the Associated Press by the Starbucks Marketing Office. Inquiries may be made to the address spelled out by linking the first letter of each paragraph in this article.
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