Not a heart attack

Zeldman

Touchdown! Greaser!
Joined
Jun 13, 2014
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high desert NM
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Display name:
Billy
Right after church today I felt a sudden deep pain in my chest. Not the same as the heart attack, but in the general area. A couple ICU nurses decided I should go to the emergency room, so again, I drive myself to the hospital.

In the emergency room they treated me as if a heart attack. I was put in a room, in the bed, shirt removed and a lot of gadgets attached to me same as last time, EKG, blood pressure and a few other devices.

The doctor, Dr. Reyansh from India came in and looked at everything, then announced to me, "No heart attack. But I see something. I wish to consult with my associate, please"

His associate, Dr. Nataani, a Navajo doctor, comes in and looks at everything. He also tells me that I did not have a heart attack, but there is something else causing the pain.

The two doctors come to me, along with my wife to discuss treatment. Dr. Reyansh tells me he can treat me in the hospital with a new treatment that has just been approved by the American Medical Association, but it will be expensive and take a week.

Dr. Nataani tells me his people have been treating this for many years and he can use native ways to cure what is causing the pain in just under an hour. After discussing it with my wife I decide to take the native treatment.

About 30 minutes later Dr. Nataani returns with a couple male nurses. They place a sheet over me, then remove my clothing. I am asked to lay on my stomach, arms by my side, so I do.

After a minute or so, Dr. Nataani starts chanting, removing the sheet and shaking some sort of grass over me. Then he stops and takes something that resembles a large paddle and smacks me on my butt as hard as he can. Of course I flinch. Dr. Nataani grabs my head while the two nurses grab my feet. They bend me backwards until my feet are on the top of my head. They keep me in this position for about 5 minutes, all the while Dr. Nataani chants around me.

After they let me go, I am asked to turn over and lay on my back. I am a little sore, but I turn over. Dr. Nataani asks me to close my eyes, and I do.

Suddenly Dr. Nataani slaps me on my cheek as hard as he can. I instinctively cover my face with my hands to defend myself from another slap. Dr. Nataani grabs my head while the other nurses grab my feet. By this time I have had enough and I start struggling to get away. The Dr. is twisting my head side to side and the nurses are twisting my feet. I reach up to get the Dr. away from my head, but one of the nurses grabs my arms and pins them against my chest with his weight. I try to twist my way out, thrashing and trying to kick the nurse away from my feet.

Then the other nurse releases my arms and takes one of my legs and starts pulling it just as I am pulling your leg now.......
 
I was gonna say before I even got to your last line that you gotta love April 1. :D
 
You got me!

Glad it’s just a joke ;)
 
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I knew a third way in you were full of shet, but wanted to see what other bs you were throwing. Should have thrown a witch doctor in there too.

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You got me!!

I was thinking the Doctor was going to ask you if you wanted a happy ending :)
 
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