NA - Get baby out of our bed

sferguson524

sferguson524

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Hey all,

We have a 16 month old who has us trained to bring him into our bed when he cries in the middle of the night. We need to break him of this habit. I woke up this morning at 0430 with him sitting on my head saying dadadada. It's funny as hell, but i'm exhausted. Any suggestions?
 
Persistence. Best advice I have for you. But be aware that they never really break of the habit, you can manage it though.

I was just telling a coworker who's 18month old cries at night until a parent shows up then she goes back to sleep about how we got our daughter to sleep at night. Now at 6, she bargains for when she can sleep in our bed on a Friday or Saturday night.
 
My wife says to read: "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child". She indicates that it gives you several options that might be most tolerable to you. Our two year old has never slept in bed with us, it's awesome.
 
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Crate training works wonders. He will bark the first night, but after that he'll be fine. Just put a small radio on in the room so he thinks there is someone in there with him.
 
Jaybird180 said:
Both my children surmounted the rails.
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A lid?

I think the only times our kids ended up in bed with us were on mornings where we were sleeping in on the weekend, and they crawled in with us after we would say it was OK. We had been pretty consistent with them about not letting them do that any other times - and that training started pretty early and there were plenty of late night screaming sessions until they figured out we weren't going to budge.
 
sferguson524 said:
Hey all,

We have a 16 month old who has us trained to bring him into our bed when he cries in the middle of the night. We need to break him of this habit. I woke up this morning at 0430 with him sitting on my head saying dadadada. It's funny as hell, but i'm exhausted. Any suggestions?
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Own room own bed cold turkey. We did it from day 1, but you can do it now. It will suck the first few nights, but hang tough.
 
Never happened in my house. Period. Let them cry themselves back to sleep. They will. Trust me.
 
Granted it's probably not an issue at 16 months, but there have been over 60 "cosleeping" deaths in Milwaukee over the last 5 years. It apparently is an accepted practice in some circles, but often the kids slide between the bed and the wall, or are smothered by a tired, drunk, or high parent who doesn't know they are smothering their child.

It's a bad and dangerous habit.

On the other hand, at 16 months you can just have a firm hand in getting them to sleep in their own bed. I doubt it's great for the marriage either.
 
let him cry it out.
3 nights and it will be over.

your pediatrician should be telling you that,
 
SixPapaCharlie said:
let him cry it out.
3 nights and it will be over.

your pediatrician should be telling you that,
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This. Don't bring him into your bed. It's dangerous to them, and not good for their sleep habits.

Also, counter-intuitively, if they aren't sleeping well, put them to bed earlier. It's hard for an exhausted child to get good sleep. Weird, I know. But true.
 
Anthony said:
Stop attacking Ed!
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Ed's a good guy.
He knows I know is probably isn't really gay.

Also I referred to his flying as epic the other day.
I can't let this stuff go to his head.

And I take it back.
Ed if you are still reading, take the pistol out of your mouth.
A lot of dudes make dirty dancing references. It is totally cool.
I am sorry I implied your taste in chick flicks somehow reflects on your lifestyle with respect which type of humans you would prefer to "dance dirty" with.

Please forgive me.
 
SixPapaCharlie said:
Ed's a good guy.
Click to expand...

That's your first mistake.

He knows I know is probably isn't really gay.
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Really?

Also I referred to his flying as epic the other day.
I can't let this stuff go to his head.
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Epic? Is that the word for it?

A lot of dudes make dirty dancing references. It is totally cool.
I am sorry I implied your taste in chick flicks somehow reflects on your lifestyle with respect which type of humans you would prefer to "dance dirty" with.
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Probably the single most definitive description yet.

Please forgive me.
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He's going to take advantage of you now, and not in a good way.
 
I love how this went off the rails to a pitching and catching discussion between Ed and 6PC :) this made my day! Ed, awesome dirty dancing reference!
 
My wife cosleeps sometimes. Drives me nuts - I grew up with the belief that the parents' bed is no no land for kids.

My druthers is to either just ignore them until they sleep. Or walk in, sleepy eyed, scream "SHUT THE **** UP," and then shake them vigorously until they fall asleep.

Works pretty well.

edit: Also, laughing that 6PC is the bottom for Ed. Ed was always Power Bottom for me, and I didn't even have to do the work.
 
My wife has a hard time with it. I can sleep right through it until i get whacked awake
 
When did we start changing all the threads into sexual responsiveness. Ed and Fred may be trying to sensentualize their on going sexual fantasies.
 
eli-sleeps-inna-cage.jpg
 
sferguson524 said:
My wife has a hard time with it. I can sleep right through it until i get whacked awake
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Same here...
I am telling you (MRS.6PC Chime in!!!)

Cry it out works.
It was 3 nights of hell (for her) with both kids.

She put in ear plugs and turned off the monitor.
on the 4th night, both kids slept through the night.

You just both have to agree to do it no matter what.

Again not to sound condescending, this is sort of a no brainer solution that your dr. should be encouraging you and your wife to do.

It is better for everyone in the family.
 
Bryan,

A doctor's input really isn't necessary. It's far more expedient to simply follow Jonathan Swift's sage advice.

But my proposal may be a bit too modest for today's average parent.
 
Move him to a toddler bed. If he wakes up and makes a racket, put him back to sleep in his room and stay until he is out. If he wakes up and makes his way over to your room quietly, just let him be. He'll learn that leaving you in peace gets him what he wants and that making a racket keeps him in his room. I don't mind waking up and finding one of my kids next to me.

Co-sleeping is a risk if you are poor, obese, smoke and make it a habit to go to bed high or drunk. It is a risk for newborns and kids up to about 6 months. The biggest risk factor are adult mattresses being too soft and entanglement with sheets and pillowcases. Not much of an issue with a 16 month old.
 
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Hmm. Non-parent here, but a door lock seems like it'd work. They won't try to claw through the door like the dogs do. Way less damage.
 
Bill Jennings said:
Own room own bed cold turkey. We did it from day 1, but you can do it now. It will suck the first few nights, but hang tough.
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We did the same thing. It's certainly easier to start from day 1, but it sounds like a lot of others have had success establishing the habit after 3 or 4 rough nights of not giving in.

I feel like we're in the minority and that so many of our friends hold their babies during their naps and let them sleep in their beds.
 
sferguson524 said:
My wife has a hard time with it. I can sleep right through it until i get whacked awake
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Your child is not trained, you are. If your wife's the problem you have two choices: couch and divorce. Letting the kid cry it out is the answer. If he'll stay in a crib, just leave him there. When he starts crying, make sure he is OK, reassure him you're there, and then leave him. If he won't stay in the crib, lock his bedroom door or put up a baby gate. My son slept on the floor in front of a baby gate for a year.
 
SkyHog said:
My wife cosleeps sometimes. Drives me nuts - I grew up with the belief that the parents' bed is no no land for kids.

My druthers is to either just ignore them until they sleep. Or walk in, sleepy eyed, scream "SHUT THE **** UP," and then shake them vigorously until they fall asleep.

Works pretty well.

edit: Also, laughing that 6PC is the bottom for Ed. Ed was always Power Bottom for me, and I didn't even have to do the work.
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"cosleep"

WTH comes up with these things??
 
SixPapaCharlie said:
Same here...
I am telling you (MRS.6PC Chime in!!!)

Cry it out works.
It was 3 nights of hell (for her) with both kids.

She put in ear plugs and turned off the monitor.
on the 4th night, both kids slept through the night.

You just both have to agree to do it no matter what.

Again not to sound condescending, this is sort of a no brainer solution that your dr. should be encouraging you and your wife to do.

It is better for everyone in the family.
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I think this is a good idea.. Last night I left him be for about 5 minutes, he quieted down, and just as i fell back asleep he started up again.
 
We tried the leave alone method, but my kid has a great habit of crying until she starts making herself choke and then she throws up. So now the wife sleeps in a bed next to the 3 yo and sneaks out after she is dead asleep. If the kid cries, we have to listen to see if its a "I am going to be ok" cry, or if its a "I will cry until I puke all over my clothes and bedding" cry. So thats fun.
 
Ferber method worked for us for three kids in a row. Good luck. Sleep deprivation stinks.


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