MassPilot
Cleared for Takeoff
Thank you @denverpilot. Great advice. As much as I still want to scream at him for the way he acted, I'm just going to let it go. I don't want to lose that Delta captain inheritance lol.
My father-in-law flipped out at me for taking my wife up during an Airmet Tango
- Thread starter MassPilot
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paflyer
Final Approach
N3368K
Cleared for Takeoff
Dog Face, Puke, etc. Just don't call me late for dinner.
...and FWIW, I'm an ISTJ type.
I am NOT and have never been an airline pilot. I am NOT the father-in-law of the OP. What of that do you idiot morons not understand!? Never mind. The people on this site just don't meet my standards. I have wasted my time here but that is easy to fix.
MassPilot
Cleared for Takeoff
They're joking. Believe me, the last place you would find my father-in-law is on a forum geared towards GA. In fact I would be surprised to see him on any aviation forum, even an airline pilot one. I don't think he particularly enjoys flying anymore. It's just a job for him.
arkvet
Line Up and Wait
LOL, the irony. My joke towards you is that as his FIL's story unfolds a mental picture is being painted... then you showed up. Maybe I'm the only one that could see some similarities? My point was that if the OP's FIL did show up on this site I would imagine his posts would be comparable to yours. It was just an observation. Obviously knew you weren't him. LOL
arkvet
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jsstevens
Your first 3 replies to this thread.
Well, the "J" certainly fits.
Everskyward
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Everskyward
I was thinking that just at you posted it!
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jsstevens
Great minds. And apparently me too.
pburger
Pre-takeoff checklist
I think the first mistake made was planting the seed of doubt in your wife's mind, thus allowing her to take part in the safety go/no-go decision. You are the pilot, you have the training, you have the PIC experience, and you are responsible for making the aviation decisions. You are not selecting the color for the accent wall in the kitchen. This is your domain.
You certainly should let her know that it might be a little bumpy (like any summer day anywhere), and if she wasn't up for that that you could scrub the mission. That's a comfort go/no-go decision, and she has a right to participate in that one. But bringing her into the safety go/no-go decision was a mistake. By explaining that there was an "Airmet Tango" (sounds pretty ominous), you planted doubt in her mind, which was the first domino to fall. She then called the smartest pilot she knew (daddy) and asked for his opinion. Now you've got two other people involved in YOUR DECISION. The fact that his daughter is second-guessing his son-in-law's decision-making raised a flag in his mind, and so he felt like he had to be parental and talk down to you, and so it goes.
Be confident in your decision making. Confident, not cocky or stupid. If you were really unsure about the safety of the flight, then you should have sought advice from someone other than your wife -- perhaps an experienced pilot buddy that you trust, or a CFI. In this case, though, you had already decided it was safe, you just knew it might be a bit bumpy. However, the message received by your wife was that it might not be safe.
You certainly should let her know that it might be a little bumpy (like any summer day anywhere), and if she wasn't up for that that you could scrub the mission. That's a comfort go/no-go decision, and she has a right to participate in that one. But bringing her into the safety go/no-go decision was a mistake. By explaining that there was an "Airmet Tango" (sounds pretty ominous), you planted doubt in her mind, which was the first domino to fall. She then called the smartest pilot she knew (daddy) and asked for his opinion. Now you've got two other people involved in YOUR DECISION. The fact that his daughter is second-guessing his son-in-law's decision-making raised a flag in his mind, and so he felt like he had to be parental and talk down to you, and so it goes.
Be confident in your decision making. Confident, not cocky or stupid. If you were really unsure about the safety of the flight, then you should have sought advice from someone other than your wife -- perhaps an experienced pilot buddy that you trust, or a CFI. In this case, though, you had already decided it was safe, you just knew it might be a bit bumpy. However, the message received by your wife was that it might not be safe.
X3 Skier
En-Route
MassPilot
Cleared for Takeoff
I never mentioned "Airmet Tango" (that would be gibberish to her). I mentioned that there was a warning out for the possibility of some turbulence. I tried to emphasize multiple times it was just a comfort issue and not a safety issue.
I will say that my wife calls her parents almost every day (often more than once) and tends to run things by them constantly, even her own decisions. I've been trying to get her to cool it with that.
Dr. O
Pattern Altitude
Stop telling him about your planned flights
Obviously he believes any plane less than a quarter million pounds has no right to be flying
And believes YOU have no right flying because you aren't a god like ATP like him
If your wife persists in calling him for advice then you have a decision to make
Normally I would insert sarcasm right about here x (marks the spot)
But I will skip it this time
Obviously he believes any plane less than a quarter million pounds has no right to be flying
And believes YOU have no right flying because you aren't a god like ATP like him
If your wife persists in calling him for advice then you have a decision to make
Normally I would insert sarcasm right about here x (marks the spot)
But I will skip it this time
paflyer
Final Approach
gsengle
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Gsengle
If she is doing that in her 20s ok, she is young. But at some point you have to stand on your own adult two feet. If she is 40 and still doing that all the time, eek
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MassPilot
Cleared for Takeoff
She's agreed not to get him involved in my go/no-go decision again and regrets doing it this time. Now I'm not sure if she'll go along with not telling her parents that we're going flying, but I'll try to get her to at least wait until just prior to engine start.
MassPilot
Cleared for Takeoff
We're both 30. She was still living with her parents until 2.5 years ago when she moved in with me. Part of the problem is that she has a physical disability and has been somewhat dependent on them her whole life until she moved in with me. Her parents have always been controlling and she has some trouble breaking away from them. Fortunately they live two hours away or I'm sure it would be worse.
Mike Smith
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Fresh Prince of PrattVegas
@MassPilot, I have been there, you are doing this right. FIL is a complete tool though, dont ever trust him. Lastly, I feel pretty sure we have another troll in our midst.
N3368K
Cleared for Takeoff
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jbDC9
Pre-takeoff checklist
Idiot morons? Don't meet your standards?? The words "arrogant" and "douchebag" come to mind here...
So, okay then, bye! You won't be missed!
Nope, it wasn't just you; pretty sure the rest of us were thinking the same.
arkvet
Line Up and Wait
This makes me feel much better about the future... both with your wife and flying adventures and with the in-laws (not saying he's going to do a 180 and love the idea). At 30 and less than 3 years "out of the nest" and the previous dependence on them, I can see where the overbearing nature may be coming from. It will get better. This was a lesson for all of you. Better times are ahead. Maybe after the dust settles you can have a heart to heart with FIL regarding your love for his daughter and the fact that ya'll will have to agree to disagree on the GA stuff but it's in his hands to have some level of acceptance to the idea. Being and a-hole about the idea isn't going to change or help the situation / relationship in any way.
Happy times ahead!
hindsight2020
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hindsight2020
You are cleared for departure. Have a nice flight.
T-1 pilot. Herbivores tend to be sensitive like that
.
wsuffa
Touchdown! Greaser!
Don't feel the trolls.... J or no J.
scottfromboston
Pre-takeoff checklist
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Scott
Flew to MVY Sunday. No issue.
Most important decision-making factor hasn't been discussed. How hot is the friend?
Most important decision-making factor hasn't been discussed. How hot is the friend?
arkvet
Line Up and Wait
BTW Masspilot... I'm 37 and have 3 kids. Married my high school sweetheart. I was 14 (her 13) when we started dating. I can assure you the main thing I thought about at the time was how nice her @$$ was in that cheer leading skirt! Now I have 3 kids and my oldest (girl) just turned 12. Within the past 6 months or so we've noticed that boys aren't really "Yuck" anymore. We've actually had a boy call us (well text my wife) and ask if he can ask my girl on a "date". When my wife told me this I was hit with a mixture of emotions from "my baby is growing up" to "where does this kid live!" I've been planning to make up some formalin jars of dog testicles to put on the mantle when she eventually brings a boy home. Label the jars with boy names... Timmy, John, etc.
Nothing more satisfying than being a dad and the love and protection for your children is indescribable. You just have to experience it.
Still not an excuse for the FIL being a turd but on some level I can understand irrational behavior when it comes to protecting the most important thing on this planet! (see above regarding jars of testicles)
to "where does this kid live!" I've been planning to make up some formalin jars of dog testicles to put on the mantle when she eventually brings a boy home. Label the jars with boy names... Timmy, John, etc. Nothing more satisfying than being a dad and the love and protection for your children is indescribable. You just have to experience it.
Still not an excuse for the FIL being a turd but on some level I can understand irrational behavior when it comes to protecting the most important thing on this planet! (see above regarding jars of testicles)
spiderweb
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Ben
He has DIFFERENT experience.
MassPilot
Cleared for Takeoff
I can understand him not being thrilled about his daughter flying with a private pilot in a piston single. Years ago when we first started dating he talked her out of flying with me and it took almost a year for her to come around. I really never faulted him for it because I understood his concern. For the last few years he did seem somewhat okay with her flying with me. We would be on the way to the airport and she would text him that we were going flying and his response would be something like "tell him to always remember 'aviate, navigate, communicate'" in a fatherly way. This whole incident this past weekend was kind of out of the blue and pretty shocking.BTW Masspilot... I'm 37 and have 3 kids. Married my high school sweetheart. I was 14 (her 13) when we started dating. I can assure you the main thing I thought about at the time was how nice her @$$ was in that cheer leading skirt! Now I have 3 kids and my oldest (girl) just turned 12. Within the past 6 months or so we've noticed that boys aren't really "Yuck" anymore. We've actually had a boy call us (well text my wife) and ask if he can ask my girl on a "date". When my wife told me this I was hit with a mixture of emotions from "my baby is growing up"
Nothing more satisfying than being a dad and the love and protection for your children is indescribable. You just have to experience it.
Still not an excuse for the FIL being a turd but on some level I can understand irrational behavior when it comes to protecting the most important thing on this planet! (see above regarding jars of testicles)
PaulS
Touchdown! Greaser!
Wow, 5 pages, haven't read all the responses, skimmed through Denver pilot's post and I was going to give pretty much the same message. There is no winning here for you with your FIL. Just let it go, even if you do win the argument you still lose. Be cordial, politely disagree if the subject comes up again and change the subject. It would be nice if your wife ran interference on this for you in the future if your FIL gets heated, other than that forget about it.
MassPilot
Cleared for Takeoff
Basically I'm just not going to mention it to him again, but if it comes up my response will be, "I made a very informed and rational decision that it was safe to fly that day and I stand by that decision. I'm sorry if you disagree".
FlySince9
En-Route
If all this is anything at all, you and I should be pushing up daisies after that ride to Asheville...
paflyer
Final Approach
I like your style, Dad!I've been planning to make up some formalin jars of dog testicles to put on the mantle when she eventually brings a boy home. Label the jars with boy names... Timmy, John, etc.
eman1200
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Bro do you even lift
who needs an airmet tango warning when you have get-there-itis?
Timbeck2
Final Approach
...I've been planning to make up some formalin jars of dog testicles to put on the mantle when she eventually brings a boy home. Label the jars with boy names... Timmy, John, etc.
Timmy....really? As your Arkansas homey I'm deeply hurt that you would use my name.
Besides, today they're all Sebastion, Ryan, Conner and Donte'.
arkvet
Line Up and Wait
Timmy....really? As your Arkansas homey I'm deeply hurt that you would use my name.
Besides, today they're all Sebastion, Ryan, Conner and Donte'.
I'm sorry. I should have been more sensitive than that.
Should I label one "Henning"? I don't even know this character but he gets drug into a lot of threads and has quite a reputation from what I gather.
Clark1961
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If you are meant to have Henning labeled testicles in a jar Henning will let you know.I'm sorry. I should have been more sensitive than that.
Should I label one "Henning"? I don't even know this character but he gets drug into a lot of threads and has quite a reputation from what I gather.
danhagan
En-Route
You're going to run into things that weren't predicted many times if you fly long enough. Have plan B, C, D and E ready for all contingencies.
My worst flight ever was a local night flight over to the Class C for currency. Weather check and follow-up with FSS indicated no wind whatsoever and clear and a million. After 3rd stop-n-go, winds kicked upto to 50+ and I had to cross the mountain to get home (not bad). Super ASOS reported direct crosswind at home 29G35 (which I've done daytime only) on 5 mile final. Made an approach pass, planning on landing if it wasn't ugly, and bugging out if it was ... before I got near the runway I hit LLWS and lost 100 feet in about a second - re-clicked Super ASOS and got message "Updated weather, winds 45G59". Bugged out to the next town up (no wind), spent the night in the plane and returned in calm conditions at 6am.
Zeldman
Touchdown! Greaser!
I came in a little late on this thread, but it sounds like your heading up the right track.