Missed a chance at a joke on frequency

BigBadLou

BigBadLou

Final Approach
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Lou
Saturday was pretty nice in our area so "everybody and their brother" was flying. One of our local towered airports was busting in seams and when flying in, there were 3 of us spaced on 3 different width downwinds arriving for a landing, it was pretty interesting.

When leaving, we were in a line of aircraft holding short of the runway, waiting patiently for takeoff, while several other aircraft were landing or doing TNGs.
The tower controller (handling all the aircraft VERY well, as usual, I must say) squeezed one departure in and when he gave him "frequency change approved, thank you for your patience", the pilot replied "anybody NOT flying today?". That's where I could have said "I'm not, I'm still sitting on the dang taxiway". :)
But I missed my chance. :(

Maybe it wouldn't have been a great joke, I don't know. But at least I got to fly (a pup rescue for PnP), it was the only good flying day during the whole last week.

Blue skies!
 
Eh, there's always room to make people laugh if a quick opportunity presents, a little stress popper. It's not that uncommon to hear.
 
I would have laughed.

I got a good one in while on with Champaign approach in Illinois last week. The controller, Jen, was having a bit of trouble with her mic. After an aircraft read back the frequency change, he also stated that her transmissions were broken. She responded by saying her mic was acting up. I quickly got on and said, "Stop blaming the mic, it's probably user error..." The other pilot, very hastily, jumped on and in a very worried voice stated he did not say that. She was laughing and could barely put together a coherent response to assure the other pilot that she knew it was not him, and knew me. I just wish there was a LiveATC feed on that frequency...
 
JOhnH said:
I'd have laughed too. I would also probably have gone ahead and said it if I were there and had thought of it in time.
My reply above was based on what I hear on this board all the time about people that use more words than necessary. People even criticize others that use a word or too many in a standard transmission, like "with you at ...".

Sorry if I sounded like a curmudgeon.
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There's 5.8 billion uptight *******s on this planet, thankfully we are not required to participate no matter how much they want us to.
 
I quick joke is fine. This is, after all, a hobby for many of many of us and a passion for most of us - we want to enjoy ourselves.

I don't think there is any real danger of our frequencies becoming CB.
 
As long as it's quick I think it lightens up the mood. I've spent some time hanging out with a number of controllers and I'm pretty sure all of them enjoy a little stress relief on a busy day. Just don't make a joke at their expense on a busy day!

I gotta say I was pretty impressed with the controller at CRQ on saturday. There were at least 6 in the pattern, and more kept popping up, and at least 7 or 8 of us lined up on both sides of the runway. To say he was working hard would be an understatement. At one point someone called in holding short and he just told everyone waiting for departure to standby, and about 10 minutes later gave a sequence to everyone. It took about 20min of idling for me to get cleared, but he was efficient about it. I kinda laughed when the guy behind me requested closed traffic and was told "unable, if you take off you have to depart". Woulda thought the last thing anybody would wanna do is stay in that traffic jam.
 
The joke that liked to pull was at our class Delta airport that had very little traffic. The tower would close at 8pm and we had a very sweet female controller. I would fly to the airport and plan to arrive at 7:45 and do some T&Gs.

Right at ten minutes to eight right before the "Tower closing in eight minutes" announcement, I would call the tower.

ABY tower, N1182J, I know you have been here all day and you must be hot and tired by now, why don't you close the tower and take the rest of the day off?

By then it was time for her to make the announcement that the tower would be closing in eight minutes, bla bla bla.

At one minute before eight I would call the tower again.

N1182J with request. N1182J go ahead.

N1182J, When you close up the tower would you be sure to lock the door and put the key under the mat.

We used to get a chuckle out of it and I often wondered if other pilots on the frequency thought it was for real.

Life is a barrel of fun.

Ken Andrew
 
I hope I'm not too big of a kill joy here but.....

I agree with Henning, a one or two second comment without stepping on another transmission to lighten things up is probably okay from time to time.

What is NOT okay is on a busy day, hearing a non traffic related conversation back and forth and back and forth, tying up a Unicom frequency used at maybe a dozen airports within radio range. I am talking about so much non traffic related chatter that the people trying to stay clear of each other can't even announce their traffic situations. A couple of times over the years I have made comments recommending they find a frequency for intercom on this busy day.
 
Yeah, two things. Even on a busy day, I think the joke is fine if it's very quick, but just like "real calls" number of words matter. "I'm not, I'm stuck on the taxiway" is probably quick enough not to bug anyone, but "I'm not, I'm still sitting on the dang taxiway" seems just borderline too long. Second is that on a busy day people get tense, and while in general I'm all for a quick joke, I'd worry that this one might come off (unintentionally) as an insult to tower for not handling you quicker, and put them in a bad mood. Depends on tone of voice, etc., I guess, but radio is pretty famous for not communicating that well.
 
When I started taking lessons my CFI told me to radio ground and state my tail number, location, etc… Being a 20 year military guy I took it very literal and state, “Cessna 1234, I am located at the flight school, Information A, request East departure”. They responded with “Gwinnett ground, we are located at the tower……” Several pilots then proceeded to state exactly where they were located and my CFI was laughing. It taught me a quick lesson and lightened the mood.
 
I don't make statements like that on a "controlled" frequency. I have made some on "uncontrolled" frequencies.
 
Flying at night from Raleigh to Houston one of the center controllers was trying to get help remembering the songs on a certain Pat Benatar album. It was nice to have the silence broken with voices that were going in all directions. It would not work in the northeast but it was welcome in that long quiet stretch.
 
Once when trying to land at an uncontrolled airport I had to fit my calls into a conversation taking place between two guys about a hundred miles away, who were talking about which airport restaurant had the hottest waitresses. They got all ****y when I mentioned they should take it offline.

Tim
 
I actually did crack a joke once on an uncontrolled frequency when I was performing night-time TNGs and a King Air was holding short. He sounded like a nice guy and after I took off and turned crosswind, he announced his takeoff and I advised him of "wake turbulence from departing Cherokee". He chuckled, mission accomplished. :)
 
BigBadLou said:
The tower controller (handling all the aircraft VERY well, as usual, I must say) squeezed one departure in and when he gave him "frequency change approved, thank you for your patience", the pilot replied "anybody NOT flying today?". That's where I could have said "I'm not, I'm still sitting on the dang taxiway". :)
But I missed my chance. :(
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Great line. If I thought of it I would have said it without question.

My only on-frequency joke I can recall was one night doing stop-&goes for currency in a 152 with a serious crosswind that kept blowing me toward the runway on downwind despite about a 45° crab. When Tower came on and said, "Cessna 1234X, runway 17R, cleared to land," my response was, "I don't think so."

So, did you think of it at the time and forewent the opportunity or is this one of those "coulda-shoulda-woulda" events we think of later?
 
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I managed to get a decent one in yesterday morning. There was a long-ez in the run-up area as I passed it on the way to do my runway inspection. I asked if I could slip in ahead of him and he said go for it. Did the inspection, got off the active, and announced "operations vehicle clear of runway 35, caution wake turbulence". :D got a laugh out of the pilots on board
 
I think my attempt at a joke might have saved me a stern talking to a few weeks ago.

I was coming back from a PnP mission few weeks ago into my home class D. Winds were howling and the dog I was transporting had barfed everywhere about 30 miles out. There was a Bonanza on a 5 mile final and tower told me to cut my base short to sneak in before him. Winds were gusting and I was getting bounced everywhere, so I went around. Tower asked my intentions, I said I wanted to give it another shot, said ok, fly runway heading for one mile make left traffic. All I heard was left traffic so I proceeded to turn crosswind.

He chirped in, "that's the shortest mile I've ever seen!" Realizing what I had done, the only response I could think of was " I know, I'm on the metric system sorry, what would you like me to do?" He kind of chuckled, and that was that. Landed, cleaned up dog vomit, then called the tower to apologize. Explained that I was getting tossed up there and the dog situation and professed my apologies to him. He laughed and said at least I had a good comeback but don't do that again!
 
StinkBug said:
As long as it's quick I think it lightens up the mood. I've spent some time hanging out with a number of controllers and I'm pretty sure all of them enjoy a little stress relief on a busy day. Just don't make a joke at their expense on a busy day!



I gotta say I was pretty impressed with the controller at CRQ on saturday. There were at least 6 in the pattern, and more kept popping up, and at least 7 or 8 of us lined up on both sides of the runway. To say he was working hard would be an understatement. At one point someone called in holding short and he just told everyone waiting for departure to standby, and about 10 minutes later gave a sequence to everyone. It took about 20min of idling for me to get cleared, but he was efficient about it. I kinda laughed when the guy behind me requested closed traffic and was told "unable, if you take off you have to depart". Woulda thought the last thing anybody would wanna do is stay in that traffic jam.
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I've been up a few times at MYF where it was so busy, the extended downwinds for 28R went outside of the Class D.
 
Yeah, the brief, light-hearted comment is OK, but there are air-to-air designated comm frequencies...so all that extended-release ya-hoo stuff needs to stay off the CTAFs. You can enjoy flying while still maintaining some semblance of professionalism in ones radio work.
 
Fearless Tower said:
I've been up a few times at MYF where it was so busy, the extended downwinds for 28R went outside of the Class D.
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I was riding in the back of a plane my Dad was flying patterns with my former CFI up front. On downwind 28R we were asked to extend and they never called back (but it was obviously hectic at MYF) and we were nearing Cowles Mtn. My CFI called in with: "Tower, do you want us to call SEE?" We were then given the go-ahead for base turn.

On the next lap, tower told us they'd call our base. This time there was no traffic but he didn't call our base until almost the same position. Lesson: Towers have their own jokes they can play ;)
 
Timmer said:
I was riding in the back of a plane my Dad was flying patterns with my former CFI up front. On downwind 28R we were asked to extend and they never called back (but it was obviously hectic at MYF) and we were nearing Cowles Mtn. My CFI called in with: "Tower, do you want us to call SEE?" We were then given the go-ahead for base turn.

On the next lap, tower told us they'd call our base. This time there was no traffic but he didn't call our base until almost the same position. Lesson: Towers have their own jokes they can play ;)
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When it's that busy I always climb to 2,500 ft past the golf course for some safety margin, and because I've almost violated SEE airspace several times.
 
Flying Viking said:
When it's that busy I always climb to 2,500 ft past the golf course for some safety margin, and because I've almost violated SEE airspace several times.
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Yup. I was taught it's fine and healthy to start climbing once you get out too far -- you're no longer in the pattern so you're not required to maintain TPA and flying that far away from the airport at 800' AGL isn't good -- including for your reason.

It also helps not to be too snarky with Tower when they do need you out there, but my CFI is from New York so whatcha gonna do? ;)
 
Timmer said:
Yup. I was taught it's fine and healthy to start climbing once you get out too far -- you're no longer in the pattern so you're not required to maintain TPA and flying that far away from the airport at 800' AGL isn't good -- including for your reason.

It also helps not to be too snarky with Tower when they do need you out there, but my CFI is from New York so whatcha gonna do? ;)
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Ha! I only get snarky when I'm the only one in the pattern, and I have to remind them of the fact somewhere over the golf course.
 
A fellow student was in line for takeoff behind an F18. The fighter asked for a maximum performance takeoff and proceeded to climb straight up out of sight. My friend pulled up to the runway and called the tower from his C172... "Tower, Skyhawk 12345, ready for departure 16L and we would like a maximum performance takeoff as well."

On my PPL check ride the same thing happened to me behind an F5 but I was not brave enough to pull the same stunt with the DPE in the right seat.
 
BigBadLou said:
Yes, the standard "coulda-woulda-shoulda" situation. I usually can't think of funny things on the spot. :)
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Backward! Oh backward!
Time in it's flight!
I thought of a comeback
I needed last night!

:D
 
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