Lets make Friday 'Joke Day'!

I'm really happy that our governor has quit running around the country and is back governing our state.
Depending on what kind of job you think he was doing , that could be mixed...
Three rednecks were working up on a cell phone tower: Cooter, Ronnie and Donnie. As they start their descent, Cooter slips, falls off the tower and is killed instantly.

As the ambulance takes the body away, Ronnie says, "Well, shucks, someone should go and tell his wife." Donnie says, "OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it."

Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of Budweiser.

Ronnie says, "Where did you get that beer, Donnie?" "Cooter's wife gave it to me," Donnie replies.

"That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you beer?"

"Well, not exactly", Donnie says. "When she answered the door, I said to her, "You must be Cooter's widow." She said, "You must be mistaken. I'm not a widow."

Then I said, "I'll bet you a case of Budweiser you are."
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McGinty died while water-skiing.

The oblivious boat driver didn't notice at first, and dragged poor McGinty's lifeless corpse around the lake for half an hour.

On the bright side, he had an amazing wake.
Congratulations to me! Just saved me a ****-ton of money on car insurance! And it was easy.

I just shifted into reverse and left the scene.
Jim was one of the regulars at the bar, who kind of annoyed people because whenever he heard some terrible story, his answer was "could have been worse".

One day, a local walks in the bar and asks "Did you hear what happened to the Greens? The husband left work early, walked into the house at 4pm, and caught his wife with another man. He went nuts, killed both of them, lit the house on fire, and killed himself." As expected, Jim just says "Could have been worse."

The locals were astounded. One yells "That's the most horrible story I've ever heard. How could that POSSIBLY have been any worse?". Jim just says "I was there at 3."