Lets make Friday 'Joke Day'!

A farmer had three daughters, all young and very pretty. He guarded them with a shotgun.
Friday night came and he heard a knock at the door. The farmer answered with his gun. A young man in suit and tie stood there with flowers.
The farmer exclaimed “What do you want boy?"
The young man replied “ Hi, I'm Eddie, I'm here for Betty, we're going out for spaghetti, is she ready?"
The farmer laughed and said" You are a clever young man." Eddie replied” We rhyme. all the time!". "Well come in, Betty will be ready to go soon."

A second knock at the door. The farmer again answers with his gun. Another well dressed man stood there with flowers.
The farmer exclaimed, “Young man what do you want? “ The young man sheepishly answered " Hello, my name is Joe, I'm here for Flo, I would like to take her to a show, may she go? The farmer laughed and said" you are a clever young man." Joe replied” We rhyme. all the time!" "Come on in Flo will be ready to go soon.

Another knock at the door. The farmer again answers with his gun. A third well dressed young man stood there with flowers. The farmer exclaimed, “Young man what do you want? “ “Hi my name's Chuck. “
The farmer shot him.
 
Jam sandwich, 2 slices of bread jammed together, 'cause there is nothing to put between them.
 
SkyChaser said:
Add Florida to that list. I don't know about Alaska, but some of the skeeters down here give the Minnesotan ones a run for their money.
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People worry about gators, pythons, and anacondas in Florida, but it's the mosquitoes that will kill you. Deadliest animal in the state.
 
Half Fast said:
People worry about gators, pythons, and anacondas in Florida, but it's the mosquitoes that will kill you. Deadliest animal in the state.
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Rest of the planet too.
www.sciencealert.com

These Are The Top 15 Deadliest Animals on Earth

The world's deadliest animal isn't a shark or even a human. Drawing from a graphic from Bill Gates' blog, we decided to rank the world's deadliest animals.
www.sciencealert.com www.sciencealert.com
So Florida ain't so special after all.
 
Morgan3820 said:
Rest of the planet too.
www.sciencealert.com

These Are The Top 15 Deadliest Animals on Earth

The world's deadliest animal isn't a shark or even a human. Drawing from a graphic from Bill Gates' blog, we decided to rank the world's deadliest animals.
www.sciencealert.com www.sciencealert.com
So Florida ain't so special after all.
Click to expand...


Yeah, and that's one of the little guys!
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The Florida varieties can be downright frightening when you're out somewhere fishing, and even Deep Woods OFF! won't quite do the job.


1689370380739.png​
 
There was that time I was doing glider tows and waiting in the shade under a popup canopy on the grass. There had been a lot of rain a few days earlier and mosquitoes were really swarming bad. I got out the Deep Woods Off and sprayed the swarm. “Take THAT you little *%#*+*}^}%*s!!!” I really hoped it ruined their social lives.
 
I've lived in Florida for 30 years. I've hiked a dozen trails in Alaska. I took a tour around the Great Lakes, landing near each lake and putting my foot in each one.

The mosquitos at Chincoteague Island, Virginia were the biggest and most aggressive I have ever seen. They came in clouds and bit through denim soaked in Deet. Leslie and I walked about a quarter mile in smacking mosquitoes the whole way when they really attacked. We turned around and ran back to the car, smacking mosquitoes off of each other as we ran. Once we got in the car and closed the door we continued to smack mosquitoes for several minutes. Stephen King couldn't have written a scarier story.
 
A man got on the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls & sits down next to a woman. She kept looking at him & his bulging pockets. Finally, after many such glances from her, he said "it's golf balls." Nevertheless, the woman continued look at him for a very long time, thinking deeply about what he had said. After several minutes, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, she asked, "does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"
 
I just showed this to my wife and she cackled.

That means she does it on purpose.
 
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