Lets make Friday 'Joke Day'!

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Options when gas hits $5.00 a gallon... How many trained geese to lift a plane?FB_IMG_1645625624463.jpg
 
1. Dad, are we pyromaniacs? Yes, we arson.

2. What do you call a pig with laryngitis? Disgruntled.

3. If a Hollander married a Filipino, would their kids be Hollapinos?

4. Never buy flowers from a monk. Only you can prevent florist friars.

5. How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced? A buccaneer.

6. I once worked at a cheap pizza shop to get by. I kneaded the dough.

7. When I told my contractor I didn’t want carpeted steps, he gave me a blank stare.

8. Bono and The Edge walk into a Dublin bar and the bartender says, “Oh no, not U2 again.”

9. Prison is just one word to you, but for some people, it’s a whole sentence.

10. I’m trying to organize a hide and seek tournament, but good players are really hard to find.

11. I got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows, and nuts. I won’t lie, it was a rocky road.

12. What do you say to comfort a friend who’s struggling with grammar? There, their, they’re.

13. I went to the toy store and asked the assistant where the Schwarznegger dolls are and he replied, “Aisle B, back.”

14. What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing up her own incision? Suture self.

15. I’ve started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. It’s all about raisin awareness.
 
You hear them saying "Eh? Eh? Eh?" As they fly over. And they leave little green hockey pucks on the ground wherever they go.

Winner. And now you will never NOT hear them saying "Eh".
 
So someone was peeing the words "F***** you Bill" in the snow around the White House. Bill Clinton was furious. He called in the Director of the FBI to investigate the matter personally.

A few days later, the FBI Director reported to Bill Clinton. "Mr. President, well, we did a DNA analysis on the urine. It was Jesse Jackson."

"Ah knew it! Ah just knew it! The son of a *****!" Clinton yelled as he shook is fist.

"Uh, but Mr. President, there is more. We also did a handwriting analysis... and it was Hillary's."
 
So someone was peeing the words "F***** you Bill" in the snow around the White House. Bill Clinton was furious. He called in the Director of the FBI to investigate the matter personally.

A few days later, the FBI Director reported to Bill Clinton. "Mr. President, well, we did a DNA analysis on the urine. It was Jesse Jackson."

"Ah knew it! Ah just knew it! The son of a *****!" Clinton yelled as he shook is fist.

"Uh, but Mr. President, there is more. We also did a handwriting analysis... and it was Hillary's."
First time I heard that one it was Al Gore
 
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