Lets make Friday 'Joke Day'!

Discussion in 'Hangar Talk' started by Let'sgoflying!, Feb 9, 2007.

  1. Capt. Geoffrey Thorpe

    Capt. Geoffrey Thorpe Touchdown! Greaser! PoA Supporter

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    Staged. 15 years ago.
    https://www.adweek.com/brand-marketing/beware-falling-muffins-81710/

    "A few weeks ago, the Charlotte, N.C., agency, working with Adams Outdoor, put the billboard up in nearby Mooresville, with all six muffins in place. It then bought a crappy old Kia for $300 and parked it under the ad, complete with a for-sale sign ("$1,000 or best offer") and a phone number. Some 10 days later, at 3 in the morning, people from the agency came by, smashed the Kia (not an easy task, it turned out, as the car proved to be somewhat resistant to wrecking balls dropped from cranes) and bolted one of the six muffins to the car's roof, as though it had fallen from above. Before the "accident," the shop had gotten about 10 calls about the car. Suddenly, the phone was ringing off the hook. "People were yelling, 'You're not gonna believe this, but a giant muffin fell on your car!' " says creative director David Oakley. "It was so freaking funny.""
     
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  2. AggieMike88

    AggieMike88 Touchdown! Greaser! PoA Supporter

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    The original "I don't know it all" of aviation.
    How to give your cat a pill

    1) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

    2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

    3) Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

    4) Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.


    5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

    6) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

    7) Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

    8) Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill inside end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

    9) Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

    10) Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

    11) Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw Tee shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

    12) Call fire department to retrieve the f------ cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.

    13) Tie the little b**tard's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of steak filet. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

    14) Consume remainder of Scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and remove pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

    15) Arrange for ASPCA to collect "mutant cat from hell" and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.



    HOW TO GIVE A DOG A PILL:

    1) Wrap it in cheese.
     
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  3. Hawker800

    Hawker800 Line Up and Wait

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  4. A1Topgun

    A1Topgun Line Up and Wait

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  5. Capt. Geoffrey Thorpe

    Capt. Geoffrey Thorpe Touchdown! Greaser! PoA Supporter

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    My brother and his wife had that very cat. Fought with it for years. Took the two of them to get a pill into the SOB even after wrapping the cat in a towel. So, I was over one day and, being the smart ass that I am, I proclaimed it was easy. "Just toss the pill on the floor and the cat will eat it." So I rolled the pill across the floor, the cat was off in a flash, caught it and swallowed. A real "WTF just happened" moment.
     
  6. Bill

    Bill Touchdown! Greaser! PoA Supporter

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    This page intentionally left blank
    [​IMG]
     
  7. AggieMike88

    AggieMike88 Touchdown! Greaser! PoA Supporter

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    The original "I don't know it all" of aviation.
    Now that "before and after" would have made a very popular YouTube video
     
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  8. A1Topgun

    A1Topgun Line Up and Wait

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  9. A1Topgun

    A1Topgun Line Up and Wait

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  10. RyanB

    RyanB Administrator Management Council Member PoA Supporter

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  11. denverpilot

    denverpilot Tied Down PoA Supporter

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  12. Hawker800

    Hawker800 Line Up and Wait

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  14. Lycosaurus

    Lycosaurus Pattern Altitude

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  15. A1Topgun

    A1Topgun Line Up and Wait

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  16. A1Topgun

    A1Topgun Line Up and Wait

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  17. A1Topgun

    A1Topgun Line Up and Wait

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  18. Greg Bockelman

    Greg Bockelman Touchdown! Greaser!

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    YKA likes this.
  19. YKA

    YKA Pre-Flight

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