Lets make Friday 'Joke Day'!

Discussion in 'Hangar Talk' started by Let'sgoflying!, Feb 9, 2007.

  1. Pilawt

    Pilawt Final Approach PoA Supporter

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    My widowed father sent me this when he remarried at age 71. Over the next few years, unfortunately, he would learn that the issue was greatly understated. :oops:

    lifeaftermarriage.jpg
     
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  2. mscard88

    mscard88 Touchdown! Greaser!

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  3. mscard88

    mscard88 Touchdown! Greaser!

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    In a Chicago hospital, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom, but it had always been occupied. A nurse noticed his predicament.

    Sir, she said "You may use the ladies room if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall."

    He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch.

    Each button was identified by letters: WW, WA, PP, and a red one labeled ATR.

    Who would know if he touched them?

    He couldn't resist.. He pushed WW. warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom.

    What a nice feeling, he thought. Men restrooms don't have nice things like this.

    Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA button. Warm air replaced the warm water, gently drying his underside.

    When this stopped, he pushed the PP button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom adding a fragile scent of spring flower to this unbelievable pleasure.

    When the powder puff was complete he couldn't wait to push the ATR button which he knew would be supreme ecstasy.

    Next thing he knew he opened his eyes, he was in a hospital bed, and a nurse was staring down at him.

    "What happened?" he exclaimed. The last thing I remember was pushing the ATR button.

    "The button ATR is an Automatic Tampon Remover. Your penis is under your pillow."

    "MEN NEVER LISTEN"
     
  4. Zeldman

    Zeldman Touchdown! Greaser!

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    [​IMG]

    Some people think they are really helping....
     
  5. Hawker800

    Hawker800 Line Up and Wait

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  6. Cap'n Jack

    Cap'n Jack Final Approach

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  7. Hawker800

    Hawker800 Line Up and Wait

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  8. mscard88

    mscard88 Touchdown! Greaser!

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  9. Bill Jennings

    Bill Jennings Touchdown! Greaser! PoA Supporter

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    This page intentionally left blank
    Damn, I don’t know whether to like that or not. I think not.
     
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  10. Ryanb

    Ryanb Final Approach PoA Supporter

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    With a good conscience, I can’t...

    :D
     
  11. Ryanb

    Ryanb Final Approach PoA Supporter

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    53DC3F44-4B55-41FA-BF3C-FAE6FFF403C1.jpeg
     
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  12. Hawker800

    Hawker800 Line Up and Wait

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  13. mscard88

    mscard88 Touchdown! Greaser!

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    wimps ;)
     
  14. Ryanb

    Ryanb Final Approach PoA Supporter

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  15. mscard88

    mscard88 Touchdown! Greaser!

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  16. mscard88

    mscard88 Touchdown! Greaser!

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    B30E0F2C-967F-4E18-89AD-2876B0C10F65.jpeg
     
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  17. BrianNC

    BrianNC Pattern Altitude

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    TCABM, mscard88 and Let'sgoflying! like this.
  18. Hank S

    Hank S En-Route

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  19. mscard88

    mscard88 Touchdown! Greaser!

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  20. mscard88

    mscard88 Touchdown! Greaser!

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  21. Ryanb

    Ryanb Final Approach PoA Supporter

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  22. mscard88

    mscard88 Touchdown! Greaser!

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    A young father in central Texas watched his small daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was.

    Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders of nature through such innocent eyes. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground.
    He went over to her to see what work of God had captured her attention. He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.


    Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?' she asked.
    ‘They're mating,' her father replied.
    'What do you call the spider on top?' she asked.
    ‘A Daddy Longlegs,' her father answered.
    'So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?' the little girl asked.


    As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question he replied, 'No dear. Both are Daddy Longlegs.'
    The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment, then lifted her foot and stomped both spiders flat...... 'Well", she said, "that may be OK in California, but we're not having any of that **** here in Texas."
     
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  23. Matthew

    Matthew Touchdown! Greaser!

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    [​IMG]
     
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  24. Matthew

    Matthew Touchdown! Greaser!

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  25. deonb

    deonb Pattern Altitude PoA Supporter

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    That one I don't mind. This one on the other hand...
    upload_2018-11-1_2-35-13.png

    Just play Cricket already.
     
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  26. Matthew

    Matthew Touchdown! Greaser!

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    US Governors by eye color:

    [​IMG]
     
  27. Grum.Man

    Grum.Man Pattern Altitude

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    I don't get that one....
     
  28. Matthew

    Matthew Touchdown! Greaser!

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    I think it was Billy Martin that said, when asked about the "World" series, "We beat everyone that showed up."
     
  29. Capt. Geoffrey Thorpe

    Capt. Geoffrey Thorpe Touchdown! Greaser! PoA Supporter

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    That assumes an accurate data source.

    When I was 18, I went down to the draft board to register. You stand there in front of the person who asks the questions and writes down the answers on the appropriate form.
    Draft board lady: "What color are your eyes?"
    Me: " I have no idea, what do they look like to you?"
    "I can't tell you, you have to tell me."
    "Blue"
    She checks off blue on the official form.

    So, I have had blue eyes (at least according to all government paperwork) for nearly 50 years. But my wife tells me that they are "Hazel". WTF? Is that really a color?
     
  30. mscard88

    mscard88 Touchdown! Greaser!

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    Blue eyes, brown eyes, green eyes...so easy...

    46611181-A929-45B4-90D6-391EFB657A59.jpeg

    Kiddin’ ya! ;)
     
    Last edited: Nov 1, 2018
  31. Pilawt

    Pilawt Final Approach PoA Supporter

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    funniecollieflower.jpg
     
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  32. Kansas Flyer

    Kansas Flyer Pre-takeoff checklist

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    I guess the Blue Jays are in the US now.
     
  33. BrianNC

    BrianNC Pattern Altitude

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    The Blue Jays can’t win a Super Bowl. :)
     
  34. Matthew

    Matthew Touchdown! Greaser!

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    Yeah, Joe Carter is feeling left out.
     
  35. Matthew

    Matthew Touchdown! Greaser!

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    [​IMG]
     
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  36. Cap'n Jack

    Cap'n Jack Final Approach

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  37. mscard88

    mscard88 Touchdown! Greaser!

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  38. Hawker800

    Hawker800 Line Up and Wait

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    [​IMG]
     
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  39. mscard88

    mscard88 Touchdown! Greaser!

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  40. Eric Stoltz

    Eric Stoltz Line Up and Wait

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