Maybe I misunderstood the OP, but I'm not telling him to make better decisions, I'm saying IF your inner voice is telling you you are making bad ones, listen to it. It's not like he doesn't know he's making bad decisions as far as I can see, he's complaining that he goes ahead anyway. Something is not right. Some people actually do have death wishes (cigarette and whiskey makers at some point even added subliminal signals that their product can kill you after they found out smokers and drinkers often had such a death wish). If it were me, I'd try and figure out why I wasn't listening to my better judgement, and if I couldn't do it alone, would get myself to a therapist, and ground myself until I found out about it.