Sac Arrow
Touchdown! Greaser!
- Joined
- May 11, 2010
- Messages
- 21,565
- Location
- Charlotte, NC
- Display Name
- Snorting his way across the USA
from an epic episode of gastronomical abuse. Chronology:
8:32 PDT: Had a egg and bacon bagel sandwich thing at the French motif cafe owned by the hot Korean chick. I knew I shouldn't have done that. I don't do breakfast. I don't do bagels. I did bagels. I did breakfast. I did not do the hot Korean chick. Not that I wouldn't have.
12:05 PDT: I'm like really hungry. I should skip lunch. I had breakfast. But what the hell, if I'm going to be bad, I might as well be real bad right? I feel like a burrito. Not literally, what I mean is I feel like eating a burrito. There is a new Taco place that opened up that gets rave reviews from the local food critics. Six bucks will get you three tacos but in reality you need six of those things to make a meal plus they ding you a couple bucks for chips and a tub of pico. F that. I went to my regular hole in the wall burrito place where you order from the hot Latina and in a few minutes you get a massive carnitas burrito with nothing in it but carnitas, guacamole and a little pico. So I had that and two tubs of chips and salsa. I did not have the Latina. Not that I didn't want to.
12:17 PDT: You know what? That wasn't enough! Perhaps if the Korean and the Latina would have been more accommodating I wouldn't be eating my way through loneliness, solitude and frustration. Normally I drink my way through that but I have to go back to work. Okay, so no solitude. Not really loneliness either. Frustration yes most definitely though, particularly with work issues. I figured if I'm going to be bad, then real bad, then I might as well get really really bad. Kind of like the Charles Manson of self control abandonment. You know what I haven't had in literally years? A Double Whopper with Cheese. I think the whole phrase "Double Whopper with Cheese" is a proper name otherwise it would have been "double Whopper with cheese." Whopper is proper, so it always gets the caps. Whopper is proper! I like it! I'm going to email BK corporate and ask them if I can get a royalty on that phrase because it was my idea. The fact that it was my idea is memorialized as of... the timestamp of this thread posting. So anyway, I had it my way and ordered a Double Whopper with Cheese, and proceeded to have my way with it. I did not have my way with the order clerk. That would have been a gay thing, and not that there is anything wrong with that, but, anyway, yeah. Well I'm starting to get a little full. No, I'm actually very full.
12:27 PDT: It's raining and dark out here. And it's not even noon yet. I know, I know, I'll get to that point in a bit. Anyway, I get back to the office, grab a "Gold Peak Unsweetened Tea" from the drink fridge, walk through the breakroom and guess what. You wouldn't believe it. I couldn't believe it. "Hey Sac, McDonalds made a mistake and threw an extra Double Quarter Pounder in there. I can't eat it? Want it?" Oh come on, that was a rhetorical question I hope. "That was a rhetorical question by the way." Good. I HAD that Double Quarter Pounder. I did not have my coworker. That would be unethical in addition to being gay, not that there is anything wrong with that. However, the PC correctness of homosexuality might possibly counteract the ethical and policy prohibitions against inter office relationships. Come to think about it, I'm not sure we have any policy prohibitions against inter office relationships. As long as they don't occur right there on the break room table during normal business hours. I think. I'll have to check. I'll ask our staff counsel.
12:43 PDT: Oh you know what? The discerning reader may have caught that I used PDT in my time stamps. It's actually PST here. I don't like PST. I'm a big fan of permanent daylight savings time and I refuse to participate in PST as much as possible. So the actual times of the events was an hour earlier. That's why I said it wasn't noon yet when I obviously had a time reference that went past noon. Maybe I shouldn't have said that. I just validated PST.
8:32 PDT: Had a egg and bacon bagel sandwich thing at the French motif cafe owned by the hot Korean chick. I knew I shouldn't have done that. I don't do breakfast. I don't do bagels. I did bagels. I did breakfast. I did not do the hot Korean chick. Not that I wouldn't have.
12:05 PDT: I'm like really hungry. I should skip lunch. I had breakfast. But what the hell, if I'm going to be bad, I might as well be real bad right? I feel like a burrito. Not literally, what I mean is I feel like eating a burrito. There is a new Taco place that opened up that gets rave reviews from the local food critics. Six bucks will get you three tacos but in reality you need six of those things to make a meal plus they ding you a couple bucks for chips and a tub of pico. F that. I went to my regular hole in the wall burrito place where you order from the hot Latina and in a few minutes you get a massive carnitas burrito with nothing in it but carnitas, guacamole and a little pico. So I had that and two tubs of chips and salsa. I did not have the Latina. Not that I didn't want to.
12:17 PDT: You know what? That wasn't enough! Perhaps if the Korean and the Latina would have been more accommodating I wouldn't be eating my way through loneliness, solitude and frustration. Normally I drink my way through that but I have to go back to work. Okay, so no solitude. Not really loneliness either. Frustration yes most definitely though, particularly with work issues. I figured if I'm going to be bad, then real bad, then I might as well get really really bad. Kind of like the Charles Manson of self control abandonment. You know what I haven't had in literally years? A Double Whopper with Cheese. I think the whole phrase "Double Whopper with Cheese" is a proper name otherwise it would have been "double Whopper with cheese." Whopper is proper, so it always gets the caps. Whopper is proper! I like it! I'm going to email BK corporate and ask them if I can get a royalty on that phrase because it was my idea. The fact that it was my idea is memorialized as of... the timestamp of this thread posting. So anyway, I had it my way and ordered a Double Whopper with Cheese, and proceeded to have my way with it. I did not have my way with the order clerk. That would have been a gay thing, and not that there is anything wrong with that, but, anyway, yeah. Well I'm starting to get a little full. No, I'm actually very full.
12:27 PDT: It's raining and dark out here. And it's not even noon yet. I know, I know, I'll get to that point in a bit. Anyway, I get back to the office, grab a "Gold Peak Unsweetened Tea" from the drink fridge, walk through the breakroom and guess what. You wouldn't believe it. I couldn't believe it. "Hey Sac, McDonalds made a mistake and threw an extra Double Quarter Pounder in there. I can't eat it? Want it?" Oh come on, that was a rhetorical question I hope. "That was a rhetorical question by the way." Good. I HAD that Double Quarter Pounder. I did not have my coworker. That would be unethical in addition to being gay, not that there is anything wrong with that. However, the PC correctness of homosexuality might possibly counteract the ethical and policy prohibitions against inter office relationships. Come to think about it, I'm not sure we have any policy prohibitions against inter office relationships. As long as they don't occur right there on the break room table during normal business hours. I think. I'll have to check. I'll ask our staff counsel.
12:43 PDT: Oh you know what? The discerning reader may have caught that I used PDT in my time stamps. It's actually PST here. I don't like PST. I'm a big fan of permanent daylight savings time and I refuse to participate in PST as much as possible. So the actual times of the events was an hour earlier. That's why I said it wasn't noon yet when I obviously had a time reference that went past noon. Maybe I shouldn't have said that. I just validated PST.
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