Gene Hackman

If it ever got to that point, would you expect the one with Alzheimer’s to remember the agreement?
Or the legal authorities to accept it?
Nothing for them to accept. I don't expect him to administer the treatment, as it were, just make sure I have it available to me while I'm still able to recognize the need for it. I'm going to guess that it's not a matter of going to bed one night fine, and waking up the next day having lost all your marbles. Catch me when the bag of marbles is about half full.
 
Nothing for them to accept. I don't expect him to administer the treatment, as it were, just make sure I have it available to me while I'm still able to recognize the need for it. I'm going to guess that it's not a matter of going to bed one night fine, and waking up the next day having lost all your marbles. Catch me when the bag of marbles is about half full.
If that were the criteria, my wife would hand me the gun now.
 
Nothing for them to accept. I don't expect him to administer the treatment, as it were, just make sure I have it available to me while I'm still able to recognize the need for it. I'm going to guess that it's not a matter of going to bed one night fine, and waking up the next day having lost all your marbles. Catch me when the bag of marbles is about half full.

So you think you’ll have the faculties to recognize and recall what you’re supposed to do? Why do you need a ‘helper’ then?
 
Wow, that’s got to be a miserable way to go. There are painless ways that don’t make a mess for those who we leave behind.

Probably, but it's just one example of the lengths I'd go to not live like my grandfather is living right now. In a nursing facility, barely doing anything for himself, same as some of my great grandparents before him.

I've lived a good life. I've worked hard and played harder, done more and seen more of this world than the great majority of people ever get to see. Miserable would be life ending with a long stay in a nursing facility, staring at the walls of a crappy room I can't leave without help, being cared for by nurses that probably won't even like me.
 
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Honestly I wish I didn’t know all the details

Just takes the attention away from his work and into morbid media like and subscribe crap
 
So you think you’ll have the faculties to recognize and recall what you’re supposed to do? Why do you need a ‘helper’ then?
Sure, let's go ahead and endlessly analyze a fairly off-the-cuff conversation with a friend for a few pages to see what we can pick apart. That'll be productive. It may be -- and I don't know, having never gone through the exact scenario - that one may reach a point where one has periods of lucid, rational thought and not be aware that one was off in la-la land in between, and need to be told that one is losing one's marbles. It may further be possible, in fact I would think it prudent, that access to one's own preferred method of treatment may be restricted when one starts to lose one's marbles, and a guy might need a friend to help him out with that.

If that were the criteria, my wife would hand me the gun now.
I swear I've caught mine standing there with a pillow in her hands when I wake up... could just be my imagination.
 
I swear I've caught mine standing there with a pillow in her hands when I wake up... could just be my imagination.

maybe if you would stop snoring....
 
My grandfather had it and lived 12 more years after had to go into a care facility until he was 105. He had started to get lost, and get increasingly frequent periods of confusion, then one morning became violent to my grandmother when he woke up, didn’t recognize her, and tried to throw her out of the house before his “wife got home”. That was the day it was decided he couldn’t stay home any more. The last few years he didn’t recognize anybody, couldn’t remember anything beyond a minute or two, thought he was a prisoner and begged for help to get out, he eventually forgot how to even eat. The damn nursing home would force feed him with a tube down his throat, he lived in a perpetual hell the last few years. My dad started to have symptoms and was diagnosed a year later, he committed suicide shortly after. My mom was a hospice home care aid for 25 years and when diagnosed with stage three cancer refused treatment, and instead spent a year and a half doing her bucket list of things and really lived life until one day when she had a sharp pain in her head, fell unconscious and passed the next day in the hospital. The “best medical treatments” are sometimes more of curse than a blessing.
 
I think I've related the story before, but I'll repeat it. When my uncle was in his final months, he'd sometimes recreate the battle of the bulge in his head, from the perspective of being in a transportation company that was overrun by a German tank battalion, and the few surviving Americans did so by playing dead as the Germans rolled through. I'm sure there are worse things to re-live, but probably not a lot. And it wasn't that he thought he was there, to him, he was there.
 
I think I've related the story before, but I'll repeat it. When my uncle was in his final months, he'd sometimes recreate the battle of the bulge in his head, from the perspective of being in a transportation company that was overrun by a German tank battalion, and the few surviving Americans did so by playing dead as the Germans rolled through. I'm sure there are worse things to re-live, but probably not a lot. And it wasn't that he thought he was there, to him, he was there.
My Dad died of Parkinson's. He was mostly lucid until the last 6 months of his life, when he would hallucinate at night. He had served as an infantry officer in Vietnam, in close proximity to an Australian army unit. At night he would wake up and shout "get that ****** Australian out of there!!!"
 
One neighbor is dealing with Parkinson's. Another neighbor, not sure if it's been diagnosed Alzheimer's or Parkinson's or both. But she ended up calling the cops on herself saying there was blood all over the walls. Psychosis. That's when the family decided it was time for a home. Her mom who lives a a block away and in her 90's is doing about as good as someone that age can..

A truly awful disease and I'm not sure who it's harder on.
 
When you're that age, it doesn't even take Alzheimer's. A simple UTI can cause an elderly person to hallucinate, becoome combative, and pretty much lose it. I can remember being in an ER with my mother as the nurses discussed her symptoms - I told them she didn't have dementia, she had a damn UTI and needed antibiotics. Lo and behold, 24 hours later she was back to normal with no recollection of the past couple of days.

The staff should have known that, especially since they're two blocks away from an assisted living home, but that particular hospital is a no-go zone for my wife and I. When I had a heart attack while driving, my wife met me in the parking lot of that hospital and drove me to a different one.
 
When I had a heart attack while driving, my wife met me in the parking lot of that hospital and drove me to a different one.

Nothing says poor service quite like that!
 
Nothing says poor service quite like that!
It's the closest hospital to our house, and she worked there for a while. Our rule is simple... "If I'm bleeding out in front of the door to the ER, load me in the car and take me somewhere else."

Her neurosurgeon said that the best thing about that hospital is that it's only six miles from a better one. It's a beautiful, modern place, super fancy... polished marble floors, an impressive glass staircase. Very nice place to go to die.
 
When I had a heart attack while driving, my wife met me in the parking lot of that hospital and drove me to a different one.
We have a hospital like that. Three months after an ER visit, they told me they had no records of my having been there. I've been known to say that if I was on fire in their parking lot, I would like the fire department to extinguish me and take me to a different hospital. If I was having a heart attack in their ER waiting room, I would call 911 to take me somewhere else.
 
It's the closest hospital to our house, and she worked there for a while. Our rule is simple... "If I'm bleeding out in front of the door to the ER, load me in the car and take me somewhere else."

Her neurosurgeon said that the best thing about that hospital is that it's only six miles from a better one. It's a beautiful, modern place, super fancy... polished marble floors, an impressive glass staircase. Very nice place to go to die.
Henry McGee (as a doctor in a hospital): So, how did you come to be ill?
Benny Hill (as patient): No, doc, I came to get better.
 
"If I'm bleeding out in front of the door to the ER, load me in the car and take me somewhere else."
The nearest better hospital here is 50 miles away. I tell my wife if I get hit by a train to take me there first. I get blood work done every 6 months and I have no problems with driving the extra 50 miles. When they stick the needle in me I have never felt anything more than a slight pinch.

Last Christmas eve eve I went to the local ER with severe abdominal pain. It took them a few tries to get an IV into me, with blood loss. Then on the way to the MRI room the attendant hooked the IV line on another wheel chair and yanked it out, again with blood loss, followed by the pain again except now in the other arm.

1741712457784.png

I was not impressed.
 
The nearest better hospital here is 50 miles away. I tell my wife if I get hit by a train to take me there first. I get blood work done every 6 months and I have no problems with driving the extra 50 miles. When they stick the needle in me I have never felt anything more than a slight pinch.

Last Christmas eve eve I went to the local ER with severe abdominal pain. It took them a few tries to get an IV into me, with blood loss. Then on the way to the MRI room the attendant hooked the IV line on another wheel chair and yanked it out, again with blood loss, followed by the pain again except now in the other arm.

View attachment 138946

I was not impressed.
 
We have a hospital like that. Three months after an ER visit, they told me they had no records of my having been there. I've been known to say that if I was on fire in their parking lot, I would like the fire department to extinguish me and take me to a different hospital. If I was having a heart attack in their ER waiting room, I would call 911 to take me somewhere else.
If they have no record of my visit then I don't have a bill to pay
 
Last Christmas eve eve I went to the local ER with severe abdominal pain. It took them a few tries to get an IV into me, with blood loss.

I was not impressed.

I had a young lady that missed twice trying to put in an IV line. She reached for a third attempt and I politely told her that I'd prefer she find someone that had actually done it before ...
 
I had a young lady that missed twice trying to put in an IV line. She reached for a third attempt and I politely told her that I'd prefer she find someone that had actually done it before ...
I was up to 5 before an experienced nurse came into the room did it on the first try. Know everyone has to learn but that was enough for me.
 
I would have more faith in hospitals if they treated the causes instead of the symptoms. For example diabetes, why is the body not controlling blood sugar levels properly? Address that, not just give insulin and further atrophy the body’s ability to regulate it. And it really chaps my rear end when I take my kids in for check ups and there are leather (pleather) lounge chairs, a stone fireplace, and a glass coffee table that probably costs $5,000 minimum in the waiting room of a rural regional hospital. I’d rather have a linoleum floor, metal folding chairs, and lower darn bills. I fly under sport pilot specifically because of my dislike of the medical establishment. Aside from having a few broke bones set I have not seen a doctor for myself since 1996 and I have zero intentions of that changing anytime soon.
 
Yep, pretty much. Although I should probably get a medical bracelet warning against mris, I still have a pea sized chunk of iron against one of my ribs from hitting a splitting wedge with rounded and fractured edges with a sledge hammer around 2009. Almost went to the hospital for that one, it was bleeding like a gunshot wound, but laying down and a spoonful of flour on the hole clotted it up (after hours and didn’t want an emergency room charge, so figured I’d wait till morning) by the next day figured it wasn’t bleeding any more and I was still alive so unless it gets infected why go. I can still feel it through my skin, but it hasn’t caused any problems.
 
I had a young lady that missed twice trying to put in an IV line. She reached for a third attempt and I politely told her that I'd prefer she find someone that had actually done it before ...
When I owned my veterinary hospital, I had technicians that would hit the vein of a kitten on the first try. A kitten's vein is about the size of angel hair pasta. They used to joke about human phlebotomists that made three or four times as much money as them and couldn't hit a vein the size of a soda straw. When I asked why they didn't become a nurse, they all said "ewwww. People".
 
I had a young lady that missed twice trying to put in an IV line. She reached for a third attempt and I politely told her that I'd prefer she find someone that had actually done it before ...

One time, when donating blood, the nurse talked about how it was much easier to find a good vein in my right arm than my left. From then on I've told people doing the stick (IV, blood test draw, whatever) that it would be easier in my right arm.
 
If they wanted to off themselves that’s their call, I won’t judge, however leaving a dog in a crate to die like that I will judge, if that was the case
Do you hold the same judgement now that the extent of his dementia has been made public?
 
I would have more faith in hospitals if they treated the causes instead of the symptoms. For example diabetes, why is the body not controlling blood sugar levels properly? Address that, not just give insulin and further atrophy the body’s ability to regulate it.
Good news: You will have a hard time finding a doc that doesn't advise patients how to control or eliminate diabetes via diet and exercise.

But it's not like they can follow people around and force them to eat well and move around.
 
I have not seen a doctor for myself since 1996 and I have zero intentions of that changing anytime soon.
I used to think like this. I didn't have insurance even when it was required by law.

When it changed and I needed medical assistance, it changed quickly and for the worse with long lasting issues.
 
As someone dealing with a parent with Alzheimer's, the best thing you can do is leave some form of Advance Decree so the kids don't spend all their time and energy trying to figure out care needs and second guessing everything. That emotional toll and grief/doubt/family squabble roller coaster is worse than seeing your parent turn into a mental potato.

Close second would be powers of attorney for both financial and medical matters.

When I attain my "rich and evil" goals, I will be smiting every form of "elder care facility" out there, what a nasty profiteering racket those places are.
 
Do you hold the same judgement now that the extent of his dementia has been made public?


Obviously not as that’s not what happened


Just a tragic situation all around

RIP
 
As someone dealing with a parent with Alzheimer's, the best thing you can do is leave some form of Advance Decree so the kids don't spend all their time and energy trying to figure out care needs and second guessing everything. That emotional toll and grief/doubt/family squabble roller coaster is worse than seeing your parent turn into a mental potato.

Close second would be powers of attorney for both financial and medical matters.

When I attain my "rich and evil" goals, I will be smiting every form of "elder care facility" out there, what a nasty profiteering racket those places are.
I was hoping to get back to this before you could reply so that I could add that you DID include a couple of "if"s in your comment. Since those "IF"s didn't happen, your conclusion was not applicable.
I got distracted before I could include that. I apologize for the tone of my post.
 
Good news: You will have a hard time finding a doc that doesn't advise patients how to control or eliminate diabetes via diet and exercise.
They will advise… well, some of them. They don’t expect anyone to comply, I don’t think. When my doc (retired now) saw my cholesterol get over the line, he just prescribed a statin. No discussion of how it got that way, no advice to change diet or exercise. I had to figure that out in my own. Then I had to figure out how to convince myself to take my own advice, but that’s another story.

Anyway… MOST doctors will tell you about diet and exercise.
 
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