Fondled by TSA?

Discussion in 'Hangar Talk' started by Rushie, Nov 26, 2017.

  1. Rushie

    Rushie Cleared for Takeoff

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    I would like to preface this story by saying that in the last couple dozen commercial flights I've taken I've gotten TSA prechek in nearly every one. I think there was only one time a couple years ago I didn't. I don't know what algorithm they use but I do know I've been investigated for security clearance with more than one Federal agency and wouldn't common sense tell you they would tap into those lists? That's all I can figure why I seem to get it every time. Or maybe it's got nothing to do with that, I've no idea.

    Anyhoo last week I didn't for whatever reason and had to go through regular. I keep stuff like paper cash or cloth items on my person and only take metals out of my pockets. Going through prechek it's never been an issue, even with my cargo pant pockets bulging. But this time they told me to take everything out of my pockets, so I did. Went through the Nude-O-Gram and then they pulled me aside for a pat down by a female agent. She asked if my pockets were empty and I replied, "unless I missed something" or "as far as I know", something like that. I never give a definite yes or no to questions like that.

    She then proceeded to pat down all my pants pockets but for the record completely avoided my nether regions or chest (thank God). But then she looked at my head and said, "What's that?" I said, "What? You mean my hair clips?" And she put both hands on my head and fondled (that's the only word that can describe it) my hair clips for what I think was was an unnecessary amount of time. Then she tangled her hands through my hair like - what? - like I had a box cutter stuffed up there? I know I live in Texas but I don't do my hair that big. I had to fight a strong urge to pull back and say "WTF b!!ch, you're messing up my do!" She did, she messed my hair up.

    You cannot tell me the woman didn't know what this is:

    hair clip2.jpg

    That's a big picture but it's a tiny clip, an inch wide at most. You know women go through security all day long with clips just like that. You cannot tell me the woman had any reason to think they were anything but just what they were.

    So my return flight I get TSA Prechek again and all is back to normal. Hairclips ignored. But they did pull out my eczema cream and check it for explosives like they always do. Except the flight where they checked my hairclips so thoroughly. :lol: If I'd wanted to sneak explosives through in my eczema cream, going through regular security would have been the time to do it, apparently.
     
  2. mscard88

    mscard88 Touchdown! Greaser!

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    Did ya redo your hair and just said F it?

    Ever get a reason why she was interested in your clips?
     
  3. Rushie

    Rushie Cleared for Takeoff

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    No, I didn't re-fix my hair, just walked around looking like I'd just fallen out of bed. Who cares in the airport anyway?

    Of course I didn't get a reason. I think she was either a dyke and I must still be prettier than I think I am, or she is a frustrated, poorly paid, uneducated worker on a power trip who likes to do unnecessary personal invasions. Or maybe there's something about hair clips I don't know, maybe they caught someone who filed down one of those pointy points into a sharp.
     
  4. SkyDog58

    SkyDog58 Touchdown! Greaser!

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    Old dog w/o new tricks
    My MO is similar to that agent. First I run my fingers through a girl’s hair and then I go for the nether regions if I think she’s ready and willing. I guess she sensed that you weren’t.
     
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  5. mscard88

    mscard88 Touchdown! Greaser!

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    Well 'Dog, at least you're normal.
     
  6. mscard88

    mscard88 Touchdown! Greaser!

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    Yeah some of them are on power trips. Thankless job, just glad I don't have to do it.
     
  7. SkyDog58

    SkyDog58 Touchdown! Greaser!

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    Well, I don’t hear that very often.
     
  8. Rushie

    Rushie Cleared for Takeoff

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    :lol::lol::lol:

    Nowadays you better get consent in writing, and notarized, before attempting a nether regions grab.
     
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  9. mscard88

    mscard88 Touchdown! Greaser!

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    Well, to clarify, my kind of normal. YMMV
     
  10. mscard88

    mscard88 Touchdown! Greaser!

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    Ahh the good ole days when you could just grope...
     
  11. GlennAB1

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  12. SkyDog58

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    Old dog w/o new tricks
    I’m not sure if many would consider your kind of normal to be all that normal. :nonod:
     
  13. mscard88

    mscard88 Touchdown! Greaser!

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    Funny, feels normal to me though.
     
  14. Matthew

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    They don't like it when you fondle back. Just sayin'.
     
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  15. SkyDog58

    SkyDog58 Touchdown! Greaser!

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    That’s called a marriage certificate and it still isn’t a guarantee.
     
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  16. mscard88

    mscard88 Touchdown! Greaser!

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    You have a story to share with us? Hmm?
     
  17. Matthew

    Matthew Touchdown! Greaser!

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    His name tag said "Brad", but his eyes said "y...

    Wait, no, nothing to share.
     
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  18. mscard88

    mscard88 Touchdown! Greaser!

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    Did you get the "private screening"?
     
  19. Ravioli

    Ravioli Final Approach

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    Marriage calls it a license.
     
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  20. 455 Bravo Uniform

    455 Bravo Uniform Pattern Altitude

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    Next time, leave for the airport a little early and "hide" your eczema cream under the clip, just to mess with em. Don't get mad, get even, lol.

    A lot to get frustrated with on commercial air travel.
     
  21. SkyDog58

    SkyDog58 Touchdown! Greaser!

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    A marriage license authorizes you to get married. A marriage certificate certifies that you are married.
     
  22. paflyer

    paflyer Final Approach

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    Shoulda buried a mousetrap in your hair.
     
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  23. mscard88

    mscard88 Touchdown! Greaser!

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    So then why do you call a PPC a PPL? o_O
     
    Last edited: Nov 26, 2017
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  24. nauga

    nauga Pattern Altitude

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    Nauga,
    who knows the score
     
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  25. James331

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    Remeber when a government worker does this they are "just doing their job"

    If a private citizen does this you should call the police and they should go to jail.


    .....merica?
     
  26. SkyDog58

    SkyDog58 Touchdown! Greaser!

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    I don’t.
     
  27. Norman

    Norman En-Route Gone West

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    Or who has been "borescoped".
     
  28. Lachlan

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    I had you pegged as more of butt sniffer/leg humper kind of guy... who knew?
     
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  29. Lachlan

    Lachlan Pattern Altitude

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    Unless you’re a famous orange feller with a toupé.
     
  30. Rushie

    Rushie Cleared for Takeoff

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    It's real. He invited a female reporter to run her hands through it.
     
  31. mscard88

    mscard88 Touchdown! Greaser!

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    TMI. ;)
     
  32. denverpilot

    denverpilot Taxi to Parking

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    Security theater.
     
  33. Lachlan

    Lachlan Pattern Altitude

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    Did the reporter work for TSA?
     
  34. mscard88

    mscard88 Touchdown! Greaser!

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  35. Lachlan

    Lachlan Pattern Altitude

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    So... negative on the hair clips and eczema cream in Trump’s hairdo?
     
  36. Tarheelpilot

    Tarheelpilot Ejection Handle Pulled

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    The DHS is a huge waste of money. Wish I could find the defund switch .......
     
  37. luvflyin

    luvflyin Final Approach

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    Dude. She just wanted run her fingers through your hair
     
  38. SkyDog58

    SkyDog58 Touchdown! Greaser!

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    :rolleyes:
    Just depends on my mood.
     
  39. FlySince9

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    my wife has screws in her hand from a bad break a few years ago... Her TSA experiences always include a cavity search... I just put my shoes back on, take a seat, and watch the show...
     
  40. bflynn

    bflynn En-Route

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    I'd like to say thank you for enduring this. To abide by TSA regulations, I regularly search myself prior to each flight I make to make sure I'm not carrying any items prohibited by the operator. I will now add hair clips to my list and make sure that I thoroughly plumb the depths of my hair.

    This is getting to be a bit much. Last week I think I may have groped myself inappropriately, but I knew that if I complained, it would just get a reason for me to search myself more thoroughly, if you know what I mean.
     
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