Flying issues with the other half..

JOhnH said:
But here's an idea for all of you guys who's wife hates to fly. Get a mistress. It will be easy to tell your wife you are going flying for a few hours. Then everyone will be happy.
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MIne doesn't mind flying at all. Can I still have a mistress? o_O;)
 
My wife is also not a fan. She felt nauseous just sitting in the plane, ON THE GROUND. Commercial flying, although not a fan for different reasons, she can tolerate. I belong to a flying club, so I always have someone willing to fly with me. I text my wife when I land at my destination, and when I get back. Nothing I, nor any of my pilot friends, can say or do to change her mind so have accepted it.
 
My wife has never even been to the airport muchless gotten in a plane with me.

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Sinistar said:
One thing she has locked onto is the smell. The prior owner had to burn MOGAS and I think when it leaked or something it now forever has "plane smell" as she calls it. Maybe all planes smell. But she says it bothers her the most. So I am working on that next. So getting in a plane can be more than just the fear of dying, or locked in a tube, it can be other inputs you may not be thinking off.
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I wonder if leaving an ozone generator in the plane for 24 hours would help. Have heard of people doing that with cars that have been smoked in.

This thread makes me appreciate my wife who is a happy and willing passenger in the plane (as long as we are going somewhere but I pretty much only fly for travel, rarely do the $100 burger thing). Of course, flying and the plane pre-date her quite a bit so she's only known me as a pilot and plane owner. In fact, my flying pre-dates her full stop as I took my first intro lesson the week she was born...
 
sourdough44 said:
I would ease her in with glass smooth evening flights.
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My wife gets motion sick real easy. That's what I did Sunday a week ago. First time she's flown with me since about '05 (and that was a horrible bumpy flight for her), but I haven't flown myself in 11 years until July a year ago. We went up about 7:30pm. Glass smooth. Plus she took a Dramamine. So right now just easing her back into it with late flights.
 
ScottinIowa said:
We're trying, but she's been up with me three times. Twice we got a couple miles from the field and she immediately said "take me back." The other time she gutted it out, but it was tough for her. Any advice? Anybody else have this problem? Obviously if we can't share this passion, it's going to be rough on me trying to enjoy it alone. Just keep trying?
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What is the problem(s)?

No solution or suggestions until we know the issue.

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ScottinIowa said:
We're trying, but she's been up with me three times. Twice we got a couple miles from the field and she immediately said "take me back." The other time she gutted it out, but it was tough for her. Any advice? Anybody else have this problem? Obviously if we can't share this passion, it's going to be rough on me trying to enjoy it alone. Just keep trying?
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Get a J-3 Cub and take her for a 60mph cruise with the door open. She will love it.
 
Sinistar said:
@ScottinIowa, I think you've heard just about every possible way to make her flight less terrible but I think the real point here is that your expectations for her to fly and her not being comfortable with flying are colliding head on. To her it is pressure, mega pressure!!! You gotta let it go and slowly let her actually want it...and that may never happen. Not sure if she has any favorite hobby or routine, but if she does I'd be darned surprised she dropped it for you. So maybe this MAN up time.

Now I don't mean divorce or treat her crappy. Actually instead, be confident about flying. You are gonna fly. You might take up friends and family and even do an occasional trip. She will see that you are having fun and actually relax. At the same time she will either end up comfortable not going with you or start to want to be a part of it. Along the way, always make sure she is invited and welcome. In other words...remove all the pressure.

Regarding being pressured. I love scuba diving. When we met, my wife indicated a interest. On our honeymoon I took her snorkeling. It went so-so. So we tried just snorkeling again on another winter trip. Once again so-so but maybe worse. I could tell scuba isn't here thing. But she knows I love it and never gets in the way of me going on a trip or diving with friends. She seems happy sitting on the beach while I dive. At the root of the problem is that she does not want to put her head underwater. Period. When it comes to flying right now your wife does not want to be anywhere near that plane. There are ways to address it. I hope you can find one of them. But pinning your happiness on requiring her to be a part of it is actually asking her to put her head underwater. Image yourself in the same situation (eg. water, heights, etc). What would you want...

If it helps any my daughter (now 10yo) became a bit reluctant to fly. We tell her "Look out the window". Doesn't help. I have her sit up front...kinda helps. I ask her to fly...kinda helps. We go on a trip...HELPS!!!! But it is always there. One thing she has locked onto is the smell. The prior owner had to burn MOGAS and I think when it leaked or something it now forever has "plane smell" as she calls it. Maybe all planes smell. But she says it bothers her the most. So I am working on that next. So getting in a plane can be more than just the fear of dying, or locked in a tube, it can be other inputs you may not be thinking off.

Good luck, I can tell you want really badly for this to work. I actually believe you'll find an answer but only with patience and not pressure.
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Good stuff here. I remember when I first started flying and was dealing with motion sickness. The smell of the plane bothered me too, and just the thought of the smell, even if I wasn't anywhere near the plane, immediately made me nauseous.
 
As Gordon Baxter said, “My second wife enjoyed flying”. :)

Just kidding. I hope she gets to used to it. I’ve been fortunate that my wife likes to fly with me. She finally made it to Oshkosh with me this year.
 
tspear said:
What is the problem(s)?

No solution or suggestions until we know the issue.

Sent from my LG-TP260 using Tapatalk
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I've mentioned it a few times throughout. She's getting a little motion sick and just overall uneasy. She can't really pinpoint it, just fear. As soon as we go up she just grabs onto the door handle and doesn't let go. She feels awful about it afterwards and wants to keep trying.
 
pigpenracing said:
Get a J-3 Cub and take her for a 60mph cruise with the door open. She will love it.
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You and I would love it but for someone who is not thrilled with flying a small plane that sounds like it could be overwhelming. Have you done that with nervous passengers?
 
ScottinIowa said:
We're trying, but she's been up with me three times. Twice we got a couple miles from the field and she immediately said "take me back." The other time she gutted it out, but it was tough for her. Any advice? Anybody else have this problem? Obviously if we can't share this passion, it's going to be rough on me trying to enjoy it alone. Just keep trying?
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The only way to get past this will be to figure out what's causing her anxiety and address it. With her level of fear, nerves, whatever... it's going to be tough to make progress by just trying again and again. Reactions like this are not usually rational, so a direct & rational approach will rarely work, meaning you can't convince her to be at ease with it just by making a rational argument.

For some people, the fear is very minor and they can get over it with more exposure. Many people have more intense fear and extra exposure just makes the experience worse.
 
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RudyP said:
You and I would love it but for someone who is not thrilled with flying a small plane that sounds like it could be overwhelming. Have you done that with nervous passengers?
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Yes... All the time.I take everyone for their first ride in the Cub.
My wife hates flying in a regular airplane but I can't keep her out of the Cub.
 
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My wife is an excellent flyer. We've had our Dakota for about 400 hours and she's been in the right seat for more than 300 of those. The rest of the time I was getting my IFR rating, though she came along on a few of those flights. When we met more than 20 years ago, she was afraid to fly commercial. Back then she'd grab my arm on a 747 with a tiny bit of turbulence and ask "is that ok?".

Now, she has about 15 hours in a 172, has landed the plane without the CFI touching anything and is my co-pilot. She tunes the radio, enters the transponder codes, keeps a sharp eye on traffic and always knows exactly what is going on. This past February we were in IMC at 10,000 near El Paso when a cylinder went cold. I declared an emergency and she was already getting KELP into the GPS and tuning the tower frequency. She was very calm and had no probelm flying the next day after we got everything fixed.

I guess I'm a pretty lucky guy,
 
In a way this thread is ironic...a bunch of people saying "My wife loves to fly..." (mine included) its probably not helping the OP any. Sorry.

You could always try another route...go see a counselor, maybe in a session or two max they can get to the root of it (small spaces, heights, anxiety, pressure, etc). She might feel more comfortable opening up to a "professional" without you around.
 
My wife's first flight (I tricked her into going by saying we were going to look at the turning leaves over the Blue Ridge) I hit a turkey buzzard and we had to leave the plane in Luray (fortunately my brother lives there, after getting his girlfriend to cover for him on the air on WLCC he drove us back to IAD).

On the second flight, we flew over my daughter's summer camp and the steep turns made her roughly sick.

Still, I was surprised when, still afraid of flying even commercially, she asked to come with me to Oshkosh. It was a pretty bumpy flight and she figured once she got there, she'd never do this again. However, she likes airplane people (both those I hung out with at Oshkosh and the social side of our flying club). She had me teach her the rudiments of navigation so she'd have something to do on the flight back. By the time we were home she was ready to take lessons.

By Oshkosh the next year, she had a newly issued private certificate. She flew as far as VPZ but refused to land at OSH.

By Oshkosh the year after that, we had the Navion and she flew it into Oshkosh.

We've had the plane longer than we've been married and we just had our 20th anniversary. We now live midfield on a 3000' grass strip in NC. As someone here pointed out, we have a problem with both of us taking hits on the 100LL crack pipe.
 
mscard88 said:
MIne doesn't mind flying at all. Can I still have a mistress? o_O;)
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Once I realized that the wife wasn't gonna be a flyer....I sold my Six and down sized to something a bit more sporty and speedy. The Bo works just fine now.....with just me. :D
 
I guess reading these posts, the answer is good drugs..
 
pigpenracing said:
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Yes... All the time.I take everyone for their first ride in the Cub.
My wife hates flying in a regular airplane but I can't keep her out of the Cub.
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I can't believe I'm going to be first on this but:

1. That's isn't your wife
2. You got a really big....checkbook
3. Your marrying up skills dwarf those of the common man

:skeptical:
 
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Trying to force your spouse to tolerate something you love but makes them uncomfortable is not conducive to a long or happy marriage. If she has a negative visceral reaction to flying then stop trying to get her to tolerate it.

Back in May my daughter and I went for tandem skydives. After that experience I suggested that rather than another $200 hamburger run, we (POA) do a tandem skydive day. I got one response that was a maybe, and everyone else said no way. Now, I can show you the statistics on doing a tandem skydive, that it's less dangerous than a flight in a GA airplane, but a lot of us have a negative reaction out of jumping out of an airplane. Lots of people have the same feeling towards flying in a light airplane.

It's not fair to try to get her to do something that makes her feel fearful.
 
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My wife is supportive, but spends all my flying money on other things. Maybe she really isn't supportive.........
 
Mrs. Steingar is an awesome passenger. She gets airsick, but like I said the magic bracelets really do work, at least on her. She spots traffic and airports before I do. She doesn't come on my burger runs, but she'll come with on just about every trip.
 
My wife thought I was nuts.

We own a condo in Pensacola; 4.5 hr drive in off season and 6-7 hrs during the summer. First trip in the plane was 1.5 on the Hobbs.

Now it's the best thing I ever did
 
Sinistar said:
In a way this thread is ironic...a bunch of people saying "My wife loves to fly..." (mine included) its probably not helping the OP any. Sorry.
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Nah it's cool. I'm hoping she gets to that point. She didn't get to fly today because of wx, so try again next week..
 
Dave Theisen said:
....I’ve been fortunate that my wife likes to fly with me. She finally made it to Oshkosh with me this year.
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Holy $&@:!, what a trooper she is....braving the 63 minute flight from the ATL to OSH in a Pilatus! Crikey, you really owe her one now for her having to make that sacrifice! Is she in a support group now, coping? Maybe it’s called “my husband flies me to osh in a Pilatus and all I got was this lousy “Amelia’s Landing” tee shirt?!? (JK Jay!)

That poor woman, we all feel her pain!
 
eman1200 said:
Holy $&@:!, what a trooper she is....braving the 63 minute flight from the ATL to OSH in a Pilatus! Crikey, you really owe her one now for her having to make that sacrifice! Is she in a support group now, coping? Maybe it’s called “my husband flies me to osh in a Pilatus and all I got was this lousy “Amelia’s Landing” tee shirt?!? (JK Jay!)

That poor woman, we all feel her pain!
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That's a lot of sarcasm for one post.
 
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