Deferring Marriage and a Family to fly professionally

Advice to a new airline pilot: "Find a woman you hate, give her your house and half your money, and get it over with."

I was never an airline pilot. Got married when I was an Air Force pilot in 1969. I really can't imagine looking for marriage advice online, but this has been an interesting thread. And, yeah... still married to the same person and still flying airplanes.
 
Half Fast said:
Well, you know pilots; always looking for an alternate, just in case....
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I once worked briefly with a guy that was always chasing women. I asked him why he did that knowing he had a girlfriend. He replied, "every man has to have a plan B!"

A month later she left him while he was out of town at his mother's funeral and took a bunch of stuff with her including a nice check she wrote for herself out of his checkbook. :eek2:

Seems she also had a plan ... :rofl:
 
Ed Haywood said:
Nowhere in your post did you use the word love.

There is only one good reason to marry. Because you love her so much that you can't imagine life without her.

Been married 35 years. My life gets better every year.

Families are great, and kids are incredible. But I have friends with kids from failed marriages. At best, that situation is painful but manageable. At worst, it is a hell of custody and financial disputes.

Find the right one. It will hit you like a train when it happens.
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I agree. Early in our dating, my now late wife found out that I had a goal of moving to Alaska and becoming a bush pilot, a volleyball coach, and a rocket scientist. Her big objection was that it was cold in Alaska. I thought maybe she could handle the cold until she got chilled walking through the store’s frozen food section.

I knew in a heartbeat that it was either Alaska or her, and I chose her. I kept my flying dream alive by flight simulating and got my A&P as well as my avionics line maintenance certificate at Embrey Riddle. She also paid for some flying lessons while I was looking for work

You’ll know when you’re with the right one when you’re willing to pause flying so you can be with her. And she in return helps keep that dream alive.

Doesn’t sound like either of you are right for the other.
 
OP, tell this poor woman that you are very sorry for stealing years of her life. You were young and didn’t understand what you were doing to her.

As for you, you obviously knew what you were doing. Now you’re making excuses to justify dumping her. What, she was making big money then switched careers after meeting you? No, you both knew her plans for years.

I’m too busy to get engaged? I’m surprised the smart people here didn’t laugh at this. To plan the wedding? Ha. Stress from missing hobbies….. in your 20s?

The original post must be AI generated, some kind of trolling, etc.
 
She and her mom probably know that airline pilots make a good living. Thats okay, as long as they have a firm grasp on what it takes to get there. How will it look if getting married and starting a family is harder than SHE knew, and you being temporarily broke and gone all the time isnt her cup of tea? What other careers can you imagine doing that are more family friendly? Will those options make enough money for her to be happy when she planned on having airline income? It wouldnt be the first time a man sacrificed career goals for family and still got traded in.
 
The younger generation weighs in with the right answers to all the questions discussed above:
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

1. HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
-You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
-- Alan, age 10

-No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
-- Kristen, age 10

2. WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
-- Camille, age 10

3. HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
-- Derrick, age 8

4. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.
-- Lori, age 8

5. WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
-Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
-- Lynnette, age 8

-On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
-- Martin, age 10

6. WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
-When they're rich.
-- Pam, age 7

-The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
-- Curt, age 7

7. IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
-- Anita, age 9

8. HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
-- Kelvin, age 8

9. HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck.
-- Ricky, age 10
 
Also remember, over 50% of marriages end in divorce. And every one of them thought they had found the one and only person to spend the rest of their life with.

So the odds are, any one that you want to marry is NOT that person. :)
 
Pinecone said:
Also remember, over 50% of marriages end in divorce. And every one of them thought they had found the one and only person to spend the rest of their life with.

So the odds are, any one that you want to marry is NOT that person. :)
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And to make it more depressing, think about the % of people who didn't divorce but are unhappy in one way or another.
 
Flying for the airlines is a terrific career.

"But what about all those people that failed? Or all those people that are miserable in that job?"

...
 
Pinecone said:
Also remember, over 50% of marriages end in divorce. And every one of them thought they had found the one and only person to spend the rest of their life with.

So the odds are, any one that you want to marry is NOT that person. :)
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Widely stated but inconsistently applicable. For instance, people who live together before getting married are more likely to divorce. People who’ve been married and divorced already are much more likely to divorce than those marrying for the first time. I haven’t seen data, but I’d suspect alcoholics, narcotic addicts, narcissists, and schizophrenics get divorced at higher than average rates.

But in the end, statistics on everyone else’s marriages don’t matter; you’re only responsible for your own.
 
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