Corrupt my wish

Granted, you have time for a KLLR run now, because Charity cancelled on you and told you not to look her up again. Rex drives you to the nearest bar to drown your sorrows, but now you can't fly home and have to sleep overnight in the Arrow and miss your Monday morning meeting, which gets you in hot water at work.

I wish I had a new favorite shirt, scratchy patches aren't fun.
 
John221us said:
Granted, you have time for a KLLR run now, because Charity cancelled on you and told you not to look her up again. Rex drives you to the nearest bar to drown your sorrows, but now you can't fly home and have to sleep overnight in the Arrow and miss your Monday morning meeting, which gets you in hot water at work.

I wish I had a new favorite shirt, scratchy patches aren't fun.
Click to expand...

Granted, it's an XXL orange shirt with hair all over it. Obar is really annoyed at you right now for stealing his shirt.

I wish I could take Monday off.
 
Granted, Monday is all yours. Your company lets you know you are a free agent now and they don't have anything for you.

I wish this weather would stay a while.
 
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]KTIP [/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]100155Z AUTO 29012KT 7SM BKN005 BKN009 BKN014 07/06 A2977 RMK AO2 LTG DSNT SE T00670059 [/FONT]

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]KCMI [/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]100153Z 28013KT 9SM BKN008 OVC012 06/05 A2978 RMK AO2 SLP088 T00610050 [/FONT]

Granted... here's the weather that has been here all weekend. :rolleyes2: You can have it for as long as you like.


I wish I had taken a longer nap this afternoon.
 
flygirl34q said:
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]KTIP [/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]100155Z AUTO 29012KT 7SM BKN005 BKN009 BKN014 07/06 A2977 RMK AO2 LTG DSNT SE T00670059 [/FONT]

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]KCMI [/FONT][FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]100153Z 28013KT 9SM BKN008 OVC012 06/05 A2978 RMK AO2 SLP088 T00610050 [/FONT]

Granted... here's the weather that has been here all weekend. :rolleyes2: You can have it for as long as you like.


I wish I had taken a longer nap this afternoon.
Click to expand...

Granted, Sleeping Beauty. You are scheduled to wake up in the year 2112. Unfortunately, the timing is bad and you have to scramble to do your shopping and your Christmas cards. Except... oh, wait, who are you going to shop for and mail cards to. Your airplane is in some museum and by the way the accrued interest on your mortgage you failed to pay for the last 98 years is pretty horrendus. A Big Mac costs $120,000 dollars.

I wish I could just fast forward to 5:30 p.m. This work stuff is overrated.
 
Granted, the clock speeds up, but you can't quite keep up. You fall woefully behind and end up having to work very late.

I wish I were flying to the coast, right now.
 
John221us said:
Granted, the clock speeds up, but you can't quite keep up. You fall woefully behind and end up having to work very late.

I wish I were flying to the coast, right now.
Click to expand...

Granted, except that right now you are 3,000 feet directly above the coast, and diving vertically toward it.

I wish Burger King delivered.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Granted, except that right now you are 3,000 feet directly above the coast, and diving vertically toward it.

I wish Burger King delivered.
Click to expand...

Granted, but they got your order wrong. Large fries, a large chocolate shake and an extra bun to go with a small whopper patty.

I wish I knew how to find my doorbell transformer. I have looked everywhere except the attic...
 
John221us said:
Granted, but they got your order wrong. Large fries, a large chocolate shake and an extra bun to go with a small whopper patty.

I wish I knew how to find my doorbell transformer. I have looked everywhere except the attic...
Click to expand...

Granted, Sac Arrow suggested you look in the garage. Thank you, I'll take my free beer at Hacienda next time I'm in Rocklin.

I wish the landscape people would clean up all these leaves. They're making a horrible mess in the parking lot.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Granted, Sac Arrow suggested you look in the garage. Thank you, I'll take my free beer at Hacienda next time I'm in Rocklin.

I wish the landscape people would clean up all these leaves. They're making a horrible mess in the parking lot.
Click to expand...

I have looked in the garage, but if you are in the neighborhood, give me a shout. My office is a couple of blocks from there (I think they went under about 6 months ago, though).

Granted, you get into a huge shouting match with the landscape people and they end up cleaning up the leaves, but they end up burying your bike with them in revenge.

I wish I didn't have to crawl into the attic.
 
John221us said:
I have looked in the garage, but if you are in the neighborhood, give me a shout. My office is a couple of blocks from there (I think they went under about 6 months ago, though).

Granted, you get into a huge shouting match with the landscape people and they end up cleaning up the leaves, but they end up burying your bike with them in revenge.

I wish I didn't have to crawl into the attic.
Click to expand...

Granted, you misplaced your ladder so now you have to jump up to it, Kareem.

I wish one of our business partners would send us one of those Hickory Farms boxes, I'm kind of hungry right now. Particularly because I couldn't eat that Burger King delivery except for the undersized Whopper patty.
 
Granted, a raccoon crawled up there for you to look he finds it but can't communicate so now you have company when you finally get up there to look.

I wish I wasn't so cheap. Keeping the plastic container from my lunch meat to use for other leftovers that I wish wash over and over again!
 
saracelica said:
Granted, a raccoon crawled up there for you to look he finds it but can't communicate so now you have company when you finally get up there to look.

I wish I wasn't so cheap. Keeping the plastic container from my lunch meat to use for other leftovers that I wish wash over and over again!
Click to expand...

Granted, but you go broke storing all your lunch meat in Tiffany glassware and discarding it after each use.

I still wish I had a Hickory Farms box.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Granted, but you go broke storing all your lunch meat in Tiffany glassware and discarding it after each use.

I still wish I had a Hickory Farms box.
Click to expand...

Granted, but the Beefstick had cooked a little too long in the semi-trailer, when they delivered it to the store. You find yourself at Mercy getting your stomach pumped, again.

I wish December wasn't so busy.
 
Granted, it isn't. There is no work, at all. After floating your resume for months, the best you can do is a stomach pump operator position at Mercy.

I wish it wasn't supposed to rain Wednesday.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Granted, it isn't. There is no work, at all. After floating your resume for months, the best you can do is a stomach pump operator position at Mercy.

I wish it wasn't supposed to rain Wednesday.
Click to expand...
Granted, instead it's freezing rain and sleet, and now the power goes out. You're stuck.

I wish weekends were 3 days instead of two.
 
numl0ck said:
Granted, instead it's freezing rain and sleet, and now the power goes out. You're stuck.

I wish weekends were 3 days instead of two.
Click to expand...

Granted. But your work week is now twelve days straight followed by a three day break. You've angered your coworkers so much over the switch that they give you a blanket party in the vacant office, bind you with duct tape, toss you on top of an ant pile and pour honey all over you.

I wish that Hickory Farms box had all beef summer sausage in it and not that turkey sausage crap.

(Yes, a Hickory Farms box DID show up! For real!)
 
Lucky you, Granted, your free box o'meat is all beef. Of course there are a lot parts to the cow that most people wouldn't eat, such as bone, brains and entrails. The FDA dropped its standards just for you.

I wish my plane were done. Always delays.
 
Granted, it's done flying. It wants retirement now.


The box is gone but there is one beef Summer sausage and several cheese blocks on the counter. I wish I could... snag that Summer sausage without being found out and save it... I'm really too full to eat it but if someone cuts in to it I don't care, I'm diving in.
 
Granted, you snag it and hide it under your desk, right on top of theater vent. When you go to eat, a week later, it has gone rancid and you end up enjoying Mercy's pump services again.

I wish I didn't have to cook dinner.
 
John221us said:
Granted, you snag it and hide it under your desk, right on top of theater vent. When you go to eat, a week later, it has gone rancid and you end up enjoying Mercy's pump services again.

I wish I didn't have to cook dinner.
Click to expand...

Granted. You didn't know Bubba was such a great cook did you. He likes ribs. Stripped off the other convicts. Grab some fava beans and pick up a bottle of Chianti. Or better yet Carlos Rossi.

I wish tomorrow was a riding day. It's supposed to rain.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Granted. You didn't know Bubba was such a great cook did you. He likes ribs. Stripped off the other convicts. Grab some fava beans and pick up a bottle of Chianti. Or better yet Carlos Rossi.

I wish tomorrow was a riding day. It's supposed to rain.
Click to expand...

Granted, no rain tomorrow. It is coming in on Wednesday (really), but your motorcycle decides it needs to visit the mechanic, tomorrow.

I wish the housekeeper was coming on Wednesday, not Tuesday. I can't work from home tomorrow.
 
John221us said:
Granted, no rain tomorrow. It is coming in on Wednesday (really), but your motorcycle decides it needs to visit the mechanic, tomorrow.

I wish the housekeeper was coming on Wednesday, not Tuesday. I can't work from home tomorrow.
Click to expand...

Granted, Maria is taking care of my needs today. She's free to clean your house tomorrow.

I wish that chick on the stairmaster next to me would quit plugging her stupid headphones in every time I try to start a conversation. She makes me feel so David White.
 
Granted, But David White shows up and she leaves with him, instead.

I wish the part comes in for my airplane this morning.
 
John221us said:
Granted, But David White shows up and she leaves with him, instead.

I wish the part comes in for my airplane this morning.
Click to expand...

It's there right now. The A&P is scratching his head wondering how he's going to install a right main strut from a 737 on your airplane. Oh by the way Boeing won't accept a return.

I wish it were State law that meetings can't exceed 30 minutes.
 
Sac Arrow said:
It's there right now. The A&P is scratching his head wondering how he's going to install a right main strut from a 737 on your airplane. Oh by the way Boeing won't accept a return.

I wish it were State law that meetings can't exceed 30 minutes.
Click to expand...
Granted, but now meeting are schedule back to back to discuss the same topics, the best part if you have to change conference rooms for each one. Better now?

I wish I had cell service at my desk.
 
numl0ck said:
Granted, but now meeting are schedule back to back to discuss the same topics, the best part if you have to change conference rooms for each one. Better now?

I wish I had cell service at my desk.
Click to expand...

Granted, the Feds are standing at your desk right now. You're about to be hauled off to the cell with Bubba. Too bad you forgot to report that $100 you found in the parking lot on your 1998 return.

I wish they would install an automatic lunchmaker in the break room.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Granted, the Feds are standing at your desk right now. You're about to be hauled off to the cell with Bubba. Too bad you forgot to report that $100 you found in the parking lot on your 1998 return.

I wish they would install an automatic lunchmaker in the break room.
Click to expand...
Good one. ;)

Granted, except it only makes food with liver, anchovies, pig ear, cow tongue and kale.

I wish I had reliable cellular telephone service at my desk.
 
numl0ck said:
Good one. ;)

Granted, except it only makes food with liver, anchovies, pig ear, cow tongue and kale.

I wish I had reliable cellular telephone service at my desk.
Click to expand...

Granted. Problem is, now you have no credible deniability at the times when you aren't at your desk and you should be. You have to report to Roberta and Sally on an hourly basis, and Keesha won't leave you alone at work. Oh yeah, and on a related note, the Feds are headed your way on another matter....

I wish they would repair the bathroom at the coffee place by the office. The #2 is out of service.
 
Ok, #2 is repaired and back in service, but your morning constitutional plugged it right back up and the lady behind you got you banned. Now you are stuck sucking down the burnt coffee at the office.

I wish airplanes didn't cost so much to keep running.
 
John221us said:
Ok, #2 is repaired and back in service, but your morning constitutional plugged it right back up and the lady behind you got you banned. Now you are stuck sucking down the burnt coffee at the office.

I wish airplanes didn't cost so much to keep running.
Click to expand...

Granted, it's dirt cheap to keep them running. Flying, however, is another matter.

I wish I didn't just eat those two mini pies.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Granted, it's dirt cheap to keep them running. Flying, however, is another matter.

I wish I didn't just eat those two mini pies.
Click to expand...

Granted, they weren't mini, they were full size and you went for it. No you are in sugar shock.

I wish it didn't get dark so early, now.
 
John221us said:
Granted, they weren't mini, they were full size and you went for it. No you are in sugar shock.

I wish it didn't get dark so early, now.
Click to expand...

Granted, Stephen King and Alfred Hitchcock just both wrote you out of their wills.

I wish I had another one of those generic Hostess pies, in chocolate at that.
 
Bummer, I will have to write Stephen and ask him to reconsider. Granted, you have your chocolate pie, and fortunately they have a half life a 100 years, but this one was left in the back window of a Chevy Impala and has been cooking for at least 3 years. You end up at Mercy and they know you by name...

I wish Stephen King would give me enough money to buy a late model Cirrus.
 
John221us said:
Bummer, I will have to write Stephen and ask him to reconsider. Granted, you have your chocolate pie, and fortunately they have a half life a 100 years, but this one was left in the back window of a Chevy Impala and has been cooking for at least 3 years. You end up at Mercy and they know you by name...

I wish Stephen King would give me enough money to buy a late model Cirrus.
Click to expand...

He will, but I'll spare the other readers the graphics of what you have to do to get it. Nothing that toothpaste and prep H won't fix though.

I wish I had one of those big ass Carolina's breakfast burritos. Número veinte quatro, sin papas por favor, para aqui.
 
Granted, but your dog beats you to it and all you can do is watch him wolf it down.

I wish I my dog wouldn't bark so much. It is embarrassing on conference calls.
 
Granted, your dog quit barking but the video of him and Maria the housekeeper gets out on the Internet, and that is REALLY embarrassing when the subject comes up.

I wish I could take tomorrow off and fly up the coast.
 
Granted, you took the day off. When you land "up the coast" presumably at Half Moon Bay because that's where you always go. You go inside the FBO and look out the window to see your precious airplane burst into flames! Good bye, Arrow. You're now stuck at HMB for the next couple of months because the FBI, CIA, NTSB and all the other organizations with initials want to talk to you to find out why the airplane didn't explode with you in it.

I wish my boss had some common sense.
 
Granted, your boss now has common sense and decides it is no longer rational to stay in his position, so he quits. Your new boss is totally nuts and has half the staff quit by lunch time.

I wish I didn't have to get up so early this morning.
 
Granted, you didn't have to get up early this morning. If you didn't want to keep your job you could've snuggled up longer with your teddy bear (Bubba)

I wish I could get credit for work I didn't do.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top