gkainz
Final Approach
Got this in my email today - kinda cute. For my reference, change Kansas to Colorado, or the Minnesota of my childhood. Must be that "global warming" stuff...
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KANSAS - Relative Temperature
60 above zero:
Arizonians turn on the heat.
People in KANSAS plant gardens.
50 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in KANSAS sunbathe.
40 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in KANSAS drive with the windows down.
32 above zero:
Distilled water freezes.
The water in KANSAS gets thicker.
20 above zero:
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in KANSAS throw on a flannel shirt.
15 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in KANSAS have the last cookout before it gets cold.
0:
People in Miami all die.
KANSANS close the windows.
10 below zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico
People in KANSAS get out their winter coats.
25 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in KANSAS are selling cookies door to door.
40 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in KANSAS let the dogs sleep indoors.
100 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
KANSAS get upset because they can't start the Mini-Van.
460 below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale.)
People in KANSAS start saying..."Cold 'nuff fer ya?"
500 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
KANSAS public schools will open 2 hours late.
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KANSAS - Relative Temperature
60 above zero:
Arizonians turn on the heat.
People in KANSAS plant gardens.
50 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in KANSAS sunbathe.
40 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in KANSAS drive with the windows down.
32 above zero:
Distilled water freezes.
The water in KANSAS gets thicker.
20 above zero:
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in KANSAS throw on a flannel shirt.
15 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in KANSAS have the last cookout before it gets cold.
0:
People in Miami all die.
KANSANS close the windows.
10 below zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico
People in KANSAS get out their winter coats.
25 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in KANSAS are selling cookies door to door.
40 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in KANSAS let the dogs sleep indoors.
100 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
KANSAS get upset because they can't start the Mini-Van.
460 below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale.)
People in KANSAS start saying..."Cold 'nuff fer ya?"
500 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
KANSAS public schools will open 2 hours late.
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