Addiction

J

Jon Snow

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This is a response to the “Mental Health” thread on the other forum. I am an active POA member, but want to post anonymously, so I must post on this forum. If anyone would like to cross post to the other thread, that would be fine.

At age 21, I was diagnosed with severe rheumatoid arthritis. None of the medications was effective in controlling the disease. The pain was very severe and debilitating. I was prescribed high doses of powerful opioid painkillers, and I was maxed out on dose and strength. I was on the opioids for about 2 years and became addicted. Fortunately, the disease went into remission. Although I have had a few brief and minor recurrences since, it has mainly stayed in remission. I was even able to get a class 3 medical and get my pilot’s certification.

I understand addiction from personal experience. Even on days when the pain was tolerable without painkillers, I had to take them every day to function. I knew I was addicted, and I hated it. I despised the dependency, but I didn’t have any other options. Once new treatments put the disease in remission, I still had to deal with the addiction. I stopped taking the painkillers even when I still had supply on hand and refills remaining. The withdrawal was miserable, but I did it. I didn’t need rehab. I didn’t need counseling. I didn’t need an intervention. I didn’t need to have the doctor cut me off. I just did it. The difference is that I WANTED off the drugs. I WANTED a productive life. I DESPISED being addicted.

Because of my personal experience, I have little sympathy for those that struggle with addiction. It is entirely their fault and their responsibility. If they really want off the drugs, then they can get off the drugs. They cannot legitimately claim that they are helpless. They just have to want to get of the drugs and stop being a victim. When I hear people make excuses for those addicted and call it a “disease”, I just shake my head. I know better.
 
There’s a cultural push that has convinced us that we’re not responsible for our circumstances. We are prone to taking a small truth and making it our big truth. Some things we can’t control, others we can. It’s good to recognize that it’s part of human nature to shove more than is warranted into the former category. We like to be unburdened of responsibility, so we’ve quietly adopted the spirit of the age and freed ourselves of our duty to ourselves and to others. I have no doubt that I’m less inclined to addiction than others, and that there are physiological reasons behind it. It’s also true that lifestyle, discipline, and moral accountability affect my how I respond to such things. I’ve structured my life such that there is too much at stake and it isn’t worth the risk. Anything that threatens my career, my family, or my spiritual well being has to get dealt with before it takes root and becomes destructive. An important aspect of breaking addiction is forming and maintaining strong personal relationships that bring balance to our lives and help avoid the loneliness and despair that often accompanies addiction. We do have the ability to train our appetites, but is difficult to do unless it’s encouraged by the right environment.
 
You've got to keep in mind that everyone's physical and mental makeup, and their external factors, are not the same. It is simply harder for some to kick an addiction. Sure, some don't want it bad enough, but for others, it truly is extremely difficult.

My church supports a faith-based men's addiction program. We have a meal and fellowship with the men (constantly changing as they graduate and new ones come in) each month. It is really interesting to observe the ones who are really serious, vs. ones not as much. Some have awful families, some have a strong will to stop their addiction from robbing them of a good life, some don't quite seem to get there permanently. Some come back a few months later to go through the program again. One young man got a good job, went to college, and married his high school sweetheart after kicking his addiction. He's having a great life now. As are many others from there.

I have gained a little appreciation for just how hard it is for some. Yes, some don't want it bad enough, but others do, and it is still not quite enough.
 
I've known three opioid addicts in my life. None are using today. One is a productive citizen. Two are dead. Most people have extreme difficulty with the change in brain chemistry brought about by opiate/opioid use. I suppose that someone who has lost 80 lbs. on their own will puff out their chests and have no sympathy for those who cannot do so.
 
It's actually easier to fix the addicts than it is to deal with some of the conditions that caused them to become addicted to begin with.
 
One of the things driving the opioid crisis is an odd trick of human genetics. There is a subset of the population, about 15% from what I've read, that gets really really hooked on opioids really really quickly. It's a matter of brain chemistry. For these folks quitting is one of the most difficult things imaginable. For anyone quitting is very difficult.

Mrs. Steingar got hooked on pain killers after a lengthy illness a few years back. Woke me up in the middle of the night in withdrawal, got to call her a junkie and everything. I of course developed a very gradual dose reduction that got her off them. Had she been using higher doses of stronger pain killers that could have been difficult indeed.

I am glad the OP was able to wean himself off of opioids, it is truly a horrible albatross to have about your neck. Due to differences in brain chemistry and personality it just isn't so easy for everyone. Right now more people are dying of opioids than car crashes or just about any other cause.
 
When I first read the OP's opine, the first 3 paragraphs I got all excited, in a positive way. Then I read the last paragraph and grabbed the tube of extra grace. I see the point, addiction is a wide gray line, and many people are not on it. Some of us who are on that gray line do not struggle with addiction, we thrive within recovery from addiction. It is not our fault we are born addicts, or become addicts by ignorance and arrogance, but it is our fault if we don't seek recovery. We do not claim we are helpless, a victim, or hopeless. We understand the opposite of addiction is connection - working with others just like us. It is treated like a disease, because it works.

Moralizing addicts negatively, and assigning blame by finger pointing is a fine example of denial of the problem and doesn't help the ones still struggling. Public shaming of the addict that is still suffering might just drive them deeper into their addictions. Or, will make them speak out on a public forum, posting under their real name. I enjoy reading the paragraph with all the finger pointing; "they" just have to stop being a victim. Maybe if I just "wanted" it hard enough, was the sentiment I understood. If I only thought about that! Maybe if I just want to get off the hooch bad enough, I could just do it all by my self! I should have just tried that - just one more time. I needed help from others like me.

I have gracious sympathy for the ones that are active in their disease, that are in recovery, and the ones that require extra grace. May surprise some, but I too had a resentment towards addicts.

I sure do enjoy being sober, way better than my best day as an addict.
 
I was given opioids after spinal surgery but was careful not to take any unless I was in enough pain to warrant taking one. As soon as I was able, I stopped taking them. Never got hooked.

I’ve never gotten hooked on anything besides flying and my wife. I do drink but it has never been a problem in my life and I go months sometimes without a drink. I have not been really drunk in a very long time. Tried smoking cigarettes when I was younger. Didn’t like them enough to continue long enough to get hooked. Those things are horrible. Smoked a little pot in college but never became a drug addict.

Do I consider myself to be a man of great intellect, resolve and self control? Nope. I just feel lucky not to be as susceptible to addiction as many people are. I know people who are smarter and more accomplished than me yet who fell into that deep morass.

It isn’t as simple and easy of an issue as some people think it is. Or maybe they just aren’t thinking.
 
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You had developed a physical dependence on opiates. This is the expected result of being on a opioid drug for an extended period of time.
You were never an addict.
 
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