Active shooter training: The duck and cover nuclear bomb drill of this generation.
True story:
Stage setting: My uncle is a Nobel Prize winning nuclear physicist. I grew up in a town 30 miles north of New York City in the 1950's. We did Atomic Bomb drills, every month in my elementary school. I'm now in 4th grade. I'm a total science geek. Even the teachers call me "Doctor".
My uncle was visiting us one weekend when said "The duck and cover drills are totally useless, and the government knows they are total bxllshxt." He then explained, in graphic detail, what would happen if an atomic bomb detonated over or near NYC.
The next atom bomb drill, I refused to participate. Instead, I repeat what my uncle told me, graphically embellishing the burning and the flesh sloughing off, and the radiation sickness, etc. Kids are crying, one kid is puking, the teacher is so screaming mad she drags me by the HAIR to the Principal's office, where I punch the teacher in the nose, and start my story over for the office staff. Chaos ensues, parents are called. Mom is ticked at my uncle and calls him to yell at him. The next day (at my expulsion hearing) Mom, Dad, my uncle and the man credited with inventing the hydrogen bomb are all in the Principal's office. (I told you my uncle was famous) Dad asks the teacher if she actually dragged me by the hair. When she said yes, Mom hit her so hard she went down like a sack of potatoes. More chaos. Punching the teacher immediately comes off the list of charges. I'm accused of causing a riot and spreading lies by accusing the government of lying to us. My uncle explains that I am not lying, in graphic detail. The other scientist produces Top Secret government files from Hiroshima and Nagasaki showing the effects of an atomic bomb blast and by the way atomic bomb are 100 time stronger now.
When they are done, there is dead silence in the room except for the school secretary who is weeping quietly at her steno machine. My "legal team", parents and I file out in silence.
Dad paddles my backside (but not very hard) for hitting my teacher.
I am not expelled from school.
My teacher is transferred out of the district.
I never participate in another "duck and cover drill".
I carry at least 3 weapons on me at all times. Homey don't duck and cover.