A wonderful new tool

Hi. How are doing? I'm well, thanks for asking. Have a great day.

Yo! How tha f*** is bustin, biatch? I be well, props fo' askin yo. Have a pimped out day.

Lol...
 
Stingray Don said:
Love it! I just wonder how long it will take for Google to have that shut down for copyright infringement.
Click to expand...

It's been around for at least 5 years already, so guessing they aren't too concerned.

Sorry, this should have read...

It aint nuthin but been round fo' at least 5 mutha****in years already, so guessin they aren't too concerned. Y'all KNOW dat ****, mutha****a!

PoA filter probably made half of that ^^^ into these "****"
 
91.3 Responsibilitizzle n' authoritizzle of tha pilot up in command.

(a) Da pilot up in command of a aircraft is directly responsible for, n' is tha final authoritizzle as to, tha operation of dat aircraft.

(b) In a in-flight emergency requirin immediate action, tha pilot up in command may deviate from any rule of dis part ta tha extent required ta hook up dat emergency.

(c) Each pilot up in command whoz ass deviates from a rule under paragraph (b) of dis section shall, upon tha request of tha Administrator, bust a gangbangin' freestyled report of dat deviation ta tha Administrator.
 
In addizzle ta tha Termz of Service busted lyrics bout below, all Participants is bound by tha Rulez of Conduct ("RoC") fo' Pilotz of America. PLEASE READ THE RoC IN FULL BEFORE AGREEING TO USE THIS SITE!

Da providaz ("we", "us", "our") of tha steez provided by dis wizzy joint ("Service") aint responsible fo' any user-generated content n' accounts ("Content"). Content submitted express tha viewz of they lyricist only.

Yo ass smoke ta not use tha Service ta submit or link ta any Content which is defamatory, abusive, hateful, threatening, spam or spam-like, likely ta offend, gotz nuff adult or objectionable content, gotz nuff underground shiznit of others, risks copyright infringement, encourages unlawful activity, or otherwise violates any laws.

All Content you submit or upload may be reviewed by staff thugz fo' realz. All Content you submit or upload may be busted ta third-party verification skillz (includin yo, but not limited to, spam prevention skillz). Do not submit any Content dat you consider ta be private or confidential.

We reserve tha mutha****in rights ta remove or modify any Content submitted fo' any reason without explanation. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Requests fo' Content ta be removed or modified is ghon be undertaken only at our discretion. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. We reserve tha right ta take action against any account wit tha Service at any time.

Yo ass is grantin our asses wit a non-exclusive, permanent, irrevocable, unlimited license ta use, publish, or re-publish yo' Content up in connection wit tha Service. Yo ass retain copyright over tha Content.

These terms may be chizzled at any time without notice.

If you do not smoke wit these terms, please do not regista or use dis Service. If you wish ta close yo' account, please hollar at our asses.
 
I've never peeped a gangbangin' finger-lickin' diamond up in tha flesh
I cut mah teeth on weddin rings up in tha pornos
And I aint proud as a mutha****a of mah address, up in tha torn up town
No post code envy
But every last mutha****in songz like gold teeth, Gay Goose, trippin' up in tha bathroom
Bloodstains, bizzle gowns, trashin' tha hotel room
Us dudes couldn't give a ****in ****, our phat asses rollin Cadillacs up in our dreams
But playas like Cristal, Maybach, diamondz on yo' timepiece
Jet planes, islands, tigers on a gold leash
Us dudes couldn't give a ****in ****, we aren't caught up in yo' ludd affair
And we'll never be royals
It don't run up in our blood
That kind of lux just ain't fo' us
We crave a gangbangin' finger-lickin' different kind of buzz
Let me be yo' ruler, you can call me Biatch B
And baby I be bout ta rule (I be bout ta rule I be bout ta rule I be bout ta rule)
Let me live dat fantasy
My ****in playas…
 
There once was a playa from Nantucket...

denverpilot said:
I'm going to start running all of my posts through this before posting.

If you want a laugh, copy the Declaration of Independence into it.

http://www.gizoogle.net/textilizer.php
Click to expand...

I be goin ta start hustlin all of mah posts all up in dis before posting.

If you want a laugh, copy tha Declaration of Independence tha **** into dat ****.
 
Awe Crap, and Capt. Jack said I couldn't spell, he'll blow a gasket over this.
 
Centennial Tower, Skylane Seven Niner Mike at Charlie 1, VFR remainin up in tha pattern, run up complete, wit Whiskey.

Cessna Seven Niner Mike ride Runway 35 Right Alpha-14 via Alpha.

Cessna Seven Niner Mike, monitor Tower n' ****.

Cessna Seven Niner Mike, cleared fo' takeoff Runway 35 Right, Alpha-14, fly straight out, wind variable at five.

Cleared fo' takeoff, Runway 35 Right straight out, Skylane Seven Niner Mike.

(Not as funny as I thought it might be, but worth the laugh about "remainin' up in tha pattern". LOL!)
 
Ahh here we go. Poetry...

To tha Virgins, ta Make Much of Time
Robert Herrick, 1591 - 1674

Gather ye rosebudz while ye may,
Oldskool Time is still a-flying;
And dis same flower dat smilez todizzle
Tomorrow is ghon be dying.

Da glorious lamp of heaven, tha sun,
Da higher he a-getting,
Da sooner will his bangin race be run,
And nearer tha pimpin' mutha****a ta setting.

That age is dopest which is tha first,
When youth n' blood is warmer;
But bein spent, tha worse, n' worst
Times still succeed tha forma n' ****.

Then be not coy yo, but use yo' time,
And while ye may, go marry;
For havin lost but once yo' prime,
Yo ass may forever tarry.
 
A spin may be defined as a aggravated stall dat thangs up in dis biatch, up in what tha **** is termed "autorotation" wherein tha airplane bigs up a thugged-out downward corkscrew path fo' realz. As tha airplane rotates round a vertical axis, tha risin win is less stalled than tha descendin win bustin a rolling, yawing, n' pitchin motion. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Da airplane is basically bein forced downward by gravity, rolling, yawing, n' pitchin up in a spiral path. [Figure 4-9]
 
Two households, both alike up in dignity,
In fair Verona, where our slick asses lay our scene,
From ancient grudge break ta freshly smoked up mutiny,
Where civil blood make civil handz unclean.
From forth tha fatal loinz of these two foes
A pair of star-cross'd freaks take they game;
Whose misadventured piteous overthrows
Do wit they dirtnap bury they muthafathas' strife.
Da fearful passage of they dirtnap-mark'd love,
And tha continuizzle of they muthafathas' rage,
Which yo, but they childrenz end, nought could remove,
Is now tha two hours' traffic of our stage;
Da which if you wit patient ears attend,
What here shall miss, our toil shall strive ta mend.
 
Or the mighty Casey...? LOL


Casey all up in tha Bat
Ernest Lawrence Thayer

Da outlook wasn't solid fo' tha Mudville nine dat day:
Da score stood four ta two, wit but one innin mo' ta play,
And then when Cooney took a dirt nap at first, n' Barrows did tha same,
A pall-like silence fell tha **** upon tha patronz of tha game.

A stragglin few gots up ta go up in deep despair. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Da rest
Clung ta tha hope which springs eternal up in tha human breast;
They thought, "If only Casey could but git a whack at that-
We'd put up even scrilla now, wit Casey all up in tha bat."

But Flynn preceded Casey, as did also Jizzy Blake,
And tha forma was a hoodoo, while tha latta was a cold-ass lil cake;
So upon dat stricken multitude grim melancholy sat,
For there seemed but lil chizzle of Casey gettin ta tha bat.

But Flynn let drive a single, ta tha wonderment of all,
And Blake, tha much despisèd, tore tha cover off tha ball;
And when tha dust had lifted, n' pimps saw what tha **** had occurred,
There was Jizzy safe at second n' Flynn a-huggin third.

Then from five thousand throats n' mo' there rose a lusty yell;
It rumbled all up in tha valley, it rattled up in tha dell;
It pounded on tha mountain n' recoiled upon tha flat,
For Casey, mighty Casey, was advancin ta tha bat.

There was ease up in Caseyz manner as da perved-out mutha****a stepped tha **** into his thugged-out lil' place;
There was pride up in Caseyz bearin n' a smile lit Caseyz face.
And when, respondin ta tha cheers, he lightly doffed his hat,
No stranger up in tha crowd could doubt 'twas Casey all up in tha bat.

Ten thousand eyes was on his ass as he rubbed his handz wit dirt;
Five thousand tongues applauded when da thug wiped dem on his
shirt;
Then while tha writhang pitcher ground tha bizzle tha **** into his hip,
Defiizzle flashed up in Caseyz eye, a sneer curled Caseyz lip.

And now tha leather-covered sphere came hurtlin all up in the
air,
And Casey stood a-watchin it up in haughty grandeur there.
Close by tha sturdy batsman tha bizzle unheeded sped-
"That ain't mah style," holla'd Casey. "Strike one!" tha umpire holla'd.

From tha benches, black wit people, there went up a muffled
roar,
Like tha whoopin of tha storm-waves on a stern n' distant shore;
"Bust a cap up in him! Bust a cap up in tha umpire!" shouted one of mah thugs on tha stand;
And itz likely they'd have capped his ass had not Casey raised his
hand.

With a smile of Christian charitizzle pimped out Caseyz visage shone;
Dude stilled tha risin tumult; his thugged-out lil' punk-ass bade tha game go on;
Dude signaled ta tha pitcher, n' once mo' tha dun sphere flew;
But Casey still ignored it n' tha umpire holla'd, "Strike two!"

"Fraud!" cried tha maddened thousands, n' echo answered
"Fraud!"
But one scornful look from Casey n' tha crew was awed.
They saw his wild lil' grill grow stern n' cold, they saw his crazy-ass muscles
strain,
And they knew dat Casey wouldn't let dat bizzle go by again.

Da sneer is gone from Caseyz lip, his cold-ass teeth is clenched up in hate,
Dude poundz wit wack shiznit his bat upon tha plate;
And now tha pitcher holdz tha ball, n' now he lets it go,
And now tha air is shattered by tha force of Caseyz blow.

Oh, somewhere up in dis favoured land tha sun is shinin bright,
Da crew is playin somewhere, n' somewhere hearts is light;
And somewhere pimps is laughing, n' somewhere children
shout,
But there is no joy up in Mudville-mighty Casey has struck out.
 
The next "As the Pro Turns" should be tranzizzled. U know, if we ever see another episode and all. That playa is a slacker! Sorry, that was tranzizzled.
 
eman1200 said:
The next "As the Pro Turns" should be tranzizzled. U know, if we ever see another episode and all. That playa is a slacker! Sorry, that was tranzizzled.
Click to expand...

Is that a new version of As The Prop Turns for the jet jockeys? :)
 
Space: tha final frontier n' ****. These is tha voyagez of tha starshizzle Enterprise. Its five-year mission: ta explore strange freshly smoked up ghettos, ta seek up freshly smoked up game n' freshly smoked up civilizations, ta boldly go where no playa has gone before.
 
Norman said:
And, all these years, I thought it was 6PC who was warped.:D Wrong again!
Click to expand...

This got my devious side on the case....


As Da Propeller Be Turning, Season 2 Premiere Episode: "Da Conference Call"

We arrive all up in tha blue hangar n' some sort of pilot meetin is beginning. Well shiiiit, it appears dat one of mah thugs has put together some sort of crew meetin wit pilots both local n' online from remote locations. Looks like playas is startin ta gather n' ****. Letz catch up on some pre-meetin babble.

@SixPapaCharlie: Hey. Eman, I be here fo' tha meeting

@eman1200: Dude biaaatch! where have you been, biatch? We aint kicked it wit as a crew up in 7 MONTHS!

SixPapaCharlie: Sorry. I was up in tha bathroom. Just major thangs you know.

@vontresc: I straight-up sympathize.

@Sac Arrow: I git why vontresc would sympathize.

@Matthew: I do too but some playas probably won't git his sympathy.

@timwintas : Why is vontresc carryin dat purple board around?

Matther: See biaaatch! Now our crazy asses havin ta use vague references ta try n' tie one meetin ta another!

Sac Arrow: Did yo dirty ass chizzle yo' name from Matthew ta Matther?

Matther: This is gettin too far down tha rabbit hole. I be goin ta go peep inception. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. This is beyond confusing.

NC Brit: Mary Tyla Moore fo' tha win!

vontresc: What up in tha actual fr*ck?

@Pilawt: Where up in Godz name be I?


Perhaps we started listenin up in a lil too early. Letz try dis again.
We can peep a meetin startin ta kick off. Looks like @eman1200 has called dis meetin n' be bout ta git started. Y'all KNOW dat ****, mutha****a! This type'a shiznit happens all tha time. Letz try dis again.


Eman: Yo Guys mutha****a! I called dis meetin cuz itz been too long since we gots together.
Our thugged-out asses have some freshly smoked up folks up in tha room n' they have no clue what tha **** is goin on or how tha **** our phat asses do thangs round here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. I believe there be all dem playas logged up in remotely as well todizzle. It make me wanna hollar playa! So any of y'all freshly smoked up thugz what tha **** ta introduce yourselves before we git started?

@Maui Cirrus CFI: Yo mutha****as. I just logged up in all up in AOL, I came here from APOA, n' I be feelin A-OK.
I'd like ta rap a lil' bit bout mah AOA.

@robert lomax: I be thinkin like yo ass is on tha wack conference call.

@labbadabba: 6PC, is dat yo slick ass?

Robert Lomax: NO! I aint his mutha****in ass yo. Dude aint mah dirty ass.

@SixPapaCharlie: I concur

Labbadabba: Nah, I be thinkin yo ass is here n' also logged tha **** into tha webex on yo' beeper as Lomax.

@SixPapaCharlie: Um no… I be just playin temple run n' not gettin a instrument rating. Right back up in yo mutha****in ass. See?

Robert Lomax: Yeah, seriously, I aint dat mutha****a. I aint eva been his mutha****in ass. Look our names is even different. Look at mah pilot cert. I be just me, Robert Lomax!

@SixPapaCharlie: Thanks RoLo. I appreciate you bustin that!

RoLo: It aint nuthin but def yo.

Eman: See!!! This is what tha **** I be poppin' off bout son! That is how tha **** long it has been since we've gotten together n' ****. That should done been discussed 6 months ago!

@write-stuff: Yo mutha****as mutha****a! Awwww shiiiit mutha****a, I be late n' I can only stay briefly so just wanted ta throw dis up there.
I need some testers. Well shiiiit, it is fo' instrument ratin software course.
It be sort of dis competitizzle thang where you git points n' you can compete on tha leader board n' git yo' IR along tha way fo' realz. Any takers?

@SixPapaCharlie: Sorry pal. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. I started doin thangs VFR n' I'ma take a thugged-out dirtnap VFR. Take yo' software and...

write-stuff: [Interrupting] It aint nuthin but free.

@SixPapaCharlie: where do I log up in at?

@Cajun_Flyer : I straight-up couldn't give a ****in shiznit ta git mah IR but I wanna wipe tha floor wit some mutha****a. I be in.

@SixPapaCharlie: Def dis is goin ta be fun. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Write Stuff, I be on tha login screen n' I don't see...

Cajun [Interrupting] DONE!!! That was easy as **** . I can't believe I managed ta git IR, Commercial, Twin, Tail-wheel, HP, Complex, supa sonic type ratin on mah smart-ass beeper while flyin round tha ghetto wit a monkey up in a funky-ass brand freshly smoked up Cirrus!

@SixPapaCharlie: Alright son! Def it Kenny dawwwwg! We git dat ****. Yo ass is smart. Why don’t you go jump up in a lake!

Cajun: Now dat you mention dat ****. Write stuffz joint was down briefly so I did a wata ditchin course, had a funky-ass baby, n' built a jet. Did yo dirty ass finish tha course yet?

@SixPapaCharlie: WTF be a HSI???

Eman: Guys!!! Can we pleas just...
@mscard88: Yo mutha****as, I be sorry I be late. I was takin some cans n' melons ta a gangbangin' chicken bank but had ta stop n' adjust tha bra on mah hoopty n' slipped n' fell tha **** on some maracas n' cracked mah breast plate. Dat shiznit was embarrassing. When I fell, one of tha cans came open n' yams went everywhere, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Right back up in yo mutha****in ass. Somehow I straight-up forgot I was supposed ta serve up a set of bongos ta mah playa whoz ass runs a hootas (side note, he used ta be a hustla on "Twin Peaks"). In all of dat mess, I forgot bout dis meeting. This dizzle has been a total bust.

@Stingray Don "I be hungry"

mscard88: I have some candy. Want some?

StingRay: Sure, whatcha got?

mscard88: Mounds

Stingray: That'll do.


Eman: Dammit Guys mutha****a! I gots a announcement ta make

@Ted DuPuis: I be bout ta take it from here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Thanks Eman mah phat man. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. Alright lil' thugs.... I mean ladies n' gentlemen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Just a note yo. Here-forward, I have copyrighted any reference ta "hammers", "Bans", "Banners" "Bands", "Hams", "Manners", "Bammers", n' "Bananers".
Now, Just ta show how tha **** bangin I am, I'ma ban mah dirty ass.





@GeorgeC: Where'd he go?

Sac Arrow: That was nuts.

@GeorgeC: I thought you was up in Asia

Sac Arrow: **** dat ****, I was IN AN Asi..

@StevieTimes [Interruptin Thank God]: Yo ass mutha****as be thinkin maybe we should do some flying?
I gots a gangbangin' playa dat converted a lawn mower tha **** into a helicopter n' ****. Well shiiiit, it kinda flies upside down n' you sit on top sort of suspended by a thin, frail rope yo. Dude put it on controlla n' I snatched it up. I aint had a cold-ass lil chizzle ta fly dat ****. I ran it briefly dis mornin but I straight-up wanna take it up.

@GeorgeC: Is dat what tha **** I saw up there on tha ramp, biatch? No way dat will fly. I looked it n' it aint nuthin but a mess fo' realz. Also it be lookin like there is blood all over tha prop.

StevieTimes: Its red paint son! It will fly dammit!

@GeorgeC: I don't remember you bein shorta than me Stevie.

@GeorgeC: Stevie, whats all over yo' legs, biatch? Is you aiiight, biatch? Where is yo' shoes?

StevieTimes: Paint!!! I gots paint on mah dirty ass. Red paint. Well shiiiit, it will fly safely dawwwwg! You'll see!!

THUNK!!!!

StevieTimes collapsed onto tha floor.
 
(continued)

@AggieMike88: Yo mutha****as, I was just up on tha ramp, n' there be a human foot on tha ground next ta dis contraption dat aint NEVER gonna fly.

Also, there was a cold-ass lil couple Nikes nearby. I looked up in one n' it had a gangbangin' foot (also human) up in it as well. I aint shizzle if dis machine dat can up in no way fly safely n' tha feet is related but both was covered up in what tha **** appears ta be blood.

I didn't do any specific tests ta determine if dat shiznit was tha same ol' dirty blood on tha feet n' on dat thang dat would up in no way possibly eva become airborne.

Yo what tha **** happened ta Stevie?

There is blood spillin outta his hairy-ass legs all over tha floor.

@GeorgeC: Its cool. It aint nuthin but just paint.

AggieMike: Cool. I was straight-up trippin suttin' ****ty had happened.

RoLo: Every Mutha****a else be thinkin dis is sort of strange?

AggieMike: Whaddaya mean?

RoLo: I be just kinda surprised no mutha****a is freakin up n' aint a thugged-out damn thang dat yo' ass can do. I mean there is paint on tha floor. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Well shiiiit, it could stain. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Pretty rude of Stevie ta just lay there up in dat eva growin puddle of paint.

AggieMike: Yo ass know what, biatch? I'ma clean it up. I'ma try n' collect tha red paint dat is spillin outta steviez hairy-ass legs up in his bucket n' take it wit mah dirty ass. Well shiiiit, it will clean up dis mess n' I wanna paint a cold-ass lil couple stripes on tha 182 anyway. Its a win win.

@GeorgeC: What bout tha feet on tha ramp?

AggieMike: I hear ya but I don't wanna go near dat contraption.
Someone could lose a gangbangin' finger.
That thang is ****ed up I tell ya.
Plus I gotta git tha stripes done before dis straight-up strange, unusually thin paint dries.

I smell metal. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. Oh well fo' realz. Every Mutha****a gots a paint brush?

RoLo: I gots a cold-ass lil compressor n' sprayer up back

AggieMike: perfect!


NC Brit: So what tha **** was dis meetin supposed ta be about, biatch? I feel like maybe our phat asses didn't straight-up accomplish much.

Eman: No no. This is exactly what tha **** I wanted ta accomplish. I be thinkin any freshly smoked up playas know how tha **** we roll here all up in tha blue hangar n' what tha **** it means ta be a POA member n' ****. Right back up in yo mutha****in ass. So mah playas have any mo' thangs before we end tha call?

@Anthony8822: Will Ted be back?
@GRG55: Whose NC Brit?
@masloki: Stevie looks straight-up pale mutha****as.
Sac Arrow: Every Mutha****a wanna peep "Da Shining"?

Eman: Alright then, since there be no thangs, tha call is over n' ****. Thanks everyone yo. Have a pimped out day.

Da pilots slowly file outta tha blue hangar n' we peep a funky-ass dope sunny dizzle slick fo' some flyin ta take place. Da pilots disperse indifferent directions. Right back up in yo mutha****in ass. Some git all up in they planes, some chillax on tha balcony takin up in tha Sprin drizzle n' ****. We pretty shizzle Stevie is stone cold dead n' AggieMike be a absolute deranged psycho lunatic but tha drizzle is ta sick ta ponder dis n' aint a thugged-out damn thang dat yo' ass can do.
 
Dear Cretins,
I done been a NTL hustla since July 9, 2001, when I signed up fo' yo' four-in-one deal fo' cable TV, cable modem, telephone, n' alarm monitoring.

Durin dis three-month period I have encountered inadequacy of steez which I had not previously considered possible, as well as ignorizzle n' stupiditizzle of monolithic proportions. Please allow me ta provide specific details, so dat you can either pursue yo' professionizzle prerogatizzle n' seek ta rectify these ******** - or mo' likely (I suspect) so dat you can have some entertainin readin material as you while away tha hustlin dizzle tokin, n' drankin vendor-coffee on tha bog up in yo' crib.

My ****in initial installation was shut down without warning, resultin up in mah bustin a entire Saturdizzle chillin on mah arse waitin fo' yo' technician ta arrive. When da ruffneck did not arrive, I dropped a gangbangin' further 57 minutes listenin ta yo' infuriatin hold beatz, n' tha even mo' buggin Scottish robot biatch spittin some lyrics ta me ta peep yo' helpful joint yo. HOW, biatch? I alleviated tha boredom by playin wit mah dirty ass fo' all dem minutes - a activitizzle at which yo ass is no diggity both familiar n' highly adept.

Da rescheduled installation then took place some two weeks later, although tha technician did forget ta brang a ****in ****load of vital tools - like ****in a thugged-out drill-bit, n' his cerebrum. Two weeks later, mah cable modem had still not arrived. Y'all KNOW dat ****, mutha****a! Afta 15 telephone calls over four weeks mah modem arrived, six weeks afta I had requested, n' begun ta pay fo' dat ****.

I estimate yo' internizzle server’s downtime is roughly 35% - tha minutes between bout 6 PM n' midnight, Mondizzle all up in Friday, n' most of tha weekend.

I be still waitin fo' mah telephone connection. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I have made nine calls on mah mobile ta yo' no-help line, n' done been unhelpfully transferred ta a variety of disinterested dudes whoz ass are, it seems, also highly skilled bollock jugglers. I done been informed dat a telephone line be available (and one of mah thugs will call me back); dat I'ma be transferred ta one of mah thugs whoz ass knows whether or not a telephone line be available (and then been cut off); dat I'ma be transferred ta one of mah thugs (and then been repimped up ta a answerin machine informin me dat yo' crib is closed); dat I'ma be transferred ta one of mah thugs n' then been repimped up ta tha irritatin Scottish robot biatch, n' nuff mutha****in other variations on dis theme.

Doubtless yo ass is no longer readin dis letter, as you have at least a thousand other dissatisfied hustlas ta ignore, n' also another one of dem crucially blingin on-hold moments ta git all up in to. Frankly I don’t care. It’s far mo' satisfyin as a cold-ass lil hustla ta voice mah frustrations up in print than ta shout dem at yo' unendin hold beatz. Drop dis like itz hot! Forgive me, therefore, if I continue.

I truly thought British Telecom was crap, n' they had attained tha holy ****-pot of god-awful hustla relations; n' dat no one, anywhere, ever, could be mo' disinterested, less helpful or mo' obstructizzle ta deliverin steez ta they hustlas. That’s why I chose NTL, n' cuz, well, there aint any suckas is there, biatch? How tha **** surprised I therefore was, when I discovered ta mah considerable dissatisfaction n' disappointment what tha **** a useless shower of bastardz you truly are. Yo ass is sputum-filled piecez of distended rectum incompetentz of tha highest order.

BT - biiiatch-asss though they is - shine like solid beaconz of success up in tha filthy mire of yo' seemingly limitless inadequacy. Right back up in yo mutha****in ass. Suffice ta say dat I have now given up on mah futile n' foolhardy quest ta receive any kind of steez from you, biatch. I suggest dat you cease any potential future attempts ta extort payment from me fo' tha skillz which you have so pointedly n' catastrophically failed ta serve up n' shiznit fo' realz. Any such activitizzle is ghon be greeted initially wit hilaritizzle n' disbelief n' will quickly be replaced by derision, n' even like bemused rage.

I enclose two lil' small-ass deposits, selected wit pimped out care from mah cat’s litta tray, as a expression of mah utta n' complete contempt fo' both you n' yo' pointless company. I sincerely hope dat they aint become desiccated durin transit - they was satisfyingly moist all up in tha time of posting, n' I would feel considerable disappointment if you did not experience both they rich aroma n' delicate texture. Consider dem tha straight-up embodiment of mah vibe towardz NTL, n' its worthless hommies.

Have a sick day. It make me wanna hollar playa! May it be tha last up in yo' miserable short lives, you irritatingly incompetent n' infuriatingly unhelpful bunch of twats.
 
YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF. . .

1. Yo ass take yo' dawg fo' a strutt n' you both use tha same tree.

2. Yo ass can entertain yo ass fo' mo' than a minute wit just a gangbangin' fly swatter.

3. Yo crazy-ass yard has eva been mistaken fo' a recyclin center.

4. Yo crazy-ass boat has not left tha driveway up in 15 years.

5. Yo ass burn yo' yard rather than mow dat ****.

6. Yo ass be thinkin tha Nutcracker is suttin' you do off tha high dive.

7. Da Salvation Army declines yo' mattress.

8. Yo crazy-ass entire crew has eva sat round waitin fo' a cold-ass lil call from tha governor ta spare a loved one.

9. Yo ass offer ta give one of mah thugs tha hoodie off yo' back n' they refuse dat ****.

10. Yo ass have tha local taxidermist on speed dial.

11. Yo ass come back from tha dump wit mo' than you took.

12. Yo ass keep a cold-ass lil can of Raid on tha kitchen table.

13. Yo crazy-ass grandmutha has "Ammo" on her Chrizzle list.

14. Yo ass be thinkin a subdivision is part of a math problem.

15. You've eva bathed wit flea n' tick soap.

16. You've eva been involved up in a cold-ass lil custody fight over a hustlin dog.

17. Yo crazy-ass lil playas take a siphon hose ta school fo' show n' tell.

18. Yo ass git all up in tha stock hoopty races n' don't need a program.

19. Yo ass know how tha **** nuff balez of hay yo' hoopty will hold.

20. Yo ass bust a rag fo' a gas cap.

21. Yo crazy-ass doggy den aint gots curtains but yo' truck do.
 
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