121 Pilot/Mom

Princesspilot206

Princesspilot206

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Princesspilot
Have you personally known a woman that is an airline pilot and also a new mom? How did they juggle that if their partner is also a 121 pilot? Is it likely the mom will have to quit her career?
 
Princesspilot206 said:
Have you personally known a woman that is an airline pilot and also a new mom? How did they juggle that if their partner is also a 121 pilot? Is it likely the mom will have to quit her career?
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It’s definitely possible. It helps if both spouses have seniority and family nearby. In every case, mom held off on a Captain upgrade to hold a very senior line position at a regional. They would strategically bid so that there was coverage at home. It’s not easy but it can be done. And you’ll have to make due seeing each other for bits and pieces of time.
 
I personally know one, have heard/spoken with others, and my wife was a 135 pilot when we got married. The key in all cases is working with your spouse.

The woman I personally know actually got pregnant with her second child about the time she joined one of the legacy majors. It wasn't a big deal, she had her maternity leave, and then went to work. In her case, she's the primary breadwinner. I forget what her husband does, but it's a job that allows him to take care of the kids when she's gone, and I think throw some daycare in there as well. Before flying for the 121 she was flying for a 135 with one child.

When I was at WAI last month, this was a topic that was brought up during the pilot panel (hosted by 4 female pilots). Two were younger and didn't have children, but one was well into her career, and is married to another pilot. She said she made the decision to wait until she had more seniority to have a child, and then bid first officer instead of captain, since that gave her a lot more ability to bid the schedule she wanted with her seniority level. She also said that she and her husband didn't use any childcare, they just alternated their schedules so that they could share primary care duties. This one is probably most relevant to what you're thinking, but the point is they made it work. The level of family nearby that's willing to participate certainly helps, as would an Au Pair if that's something you're willing to consider.

In the case of my wife, she took about 5 years off flying starting early on when she was pregnant with our first child so she could be a stay-at-home mom for that period, and I was the sole income earner. When she returned to flying she did have to attack the recency aspect, but that worked out pretty well. Your hours never expire, so once she got a bit of recency she was well positioned to move into a different job. I had to take on a lot more of the household responsibilities when she did that and have been the primary caregiver of the kids basically the whole time that they've been in school.

All that to say, no, a woman doesn't have to quit a flying career to have children and be a mom, the real key is working with your spouse. It's really not enormously different of a situation than two working parents who have demanding office jobs, doctors, etc. There's a lot of different ways to skin that cat, and you have to figure out what works for you.
 
Princesspilot206 said:
Have you personally known a woman that is an airline pilot and also a new mom? How did they juggle that if their partner is also a 121 pilot? Is it likely the mom will have to quit her career?
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Is this hypothetical or is a new little POAer on the way?
 
If you look at the carryon sizer apparatus at the gate, I think it'd be good up until about age 3 or so.
 
Princesspilot206 said:
Have you personally known a woman that is an airline pilot and also a new mom? How did they juggle that if their partner is also a 121 pilot? Is it likely the mom will have to quit her career?
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I know several who are moms, zero who are “new” moms. Just because one leaves to have babies doesn’t mean they can’t go back in few years.

All the 121 moms I know have their moms raising the children, which I my view is asking a lot.

Modern women are fed the fairy tail they can have a professional career doing anything they want and have a faimily. They can, but they leave the part out about someone else will be raising your children. If you don’t have family who will do it, it’s going to cost a lot of money.
 
Congratulations. My high school let bus drivers bring pre-school aged children (perhaps not infants) along in a car seat ... just saying. :)

(Be sure to put five stripes on each epaulette attached to the jumper.)
 
Clip4 said:
Modern women are fed the fairy tail they can have a professional career doing anything they want and have a faimily. They can, but they leave the part out about someone else will be raising your children. If you don’t have family who will do it, it’s going to cost a lot of money.
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Jesus Christ.

My now mid-70s Mom had a professional career all my childhood, made more than my engineer father ever did. They both raised me. What absolute sexist nonsense.
 
I've known two. Wasn't any different than a Mom in some other professional capacity - just need a good nanny or family help. One had a pilot husband, so the tricky thing there is just making sure you're not on the road at the same time, or having overnight coverage in that case.

Of course the husband can stay home too. I took 6 months off when my first was born so my wife could continue to do her thing. We both work now and have a nanny to help when needed.
 
I can put you in touch with a woman I work with that had a baby about 4 months ago. Her husband is also a pilot. I don't know how they are addressing it but id guess she is flying 60-80 hours a month.
 
AKiss20 said:
Why doesn’t Dad put his career on pause and stay home for a bit? Why is it inherently mom?
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Who said that Dad was even in the picture and not just making support payments. 40% of children born today are born outside marriage.
 
AKiss20 said:
Jesus Christ.

My now mid-70s Mom had a professional career all my childhood, made more than my engineer father ever did. They both raised me. What absolute sexist nonsense.
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Did your engineer dad work for the railroad? Otherwise he was home about every night and so was your mother. An airline pilot lives the life more like OTR truck driver.

There is also a huge cost difference raising children in 1976 vs 2026.
 
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Clip4 said:
Who said that Dad was even in the picture and not just making support payments. 40% of children born today are born outside marriage.
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“If their partner….” Right there in OP.

A partner is in the picture. Maybe it’s another woman or it’s dad.
 
Clip4 said:
Did your engineer dad work for the railroad? Otherwise he was home about every night and so was your mother. An airline pilot lives the life more like OTR truck driver.

There is also a huge cost difference raising children in 1976 vs 2026.
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You made a broad sweeping generalization well beyond the bounds of just airline pilots. You said “professional career.” Even for airline pilots, many women can make that work as well if their partner or family can help out. Or is the airline pilot on the go lifestyle with significant other at home or pulling the 9-5 only allowed for men?
 
texasclouds said:
No, but flew recently with a 64 yr old pilot who had a 1 month old…
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If I'm being perfectly honest, this kind of thing is kinda sad for the kid. Odds are the child will only very briefly know his/her dad. My dad was pretty old for the time (late 40's) when he had me, though fortunately he lived to 88 so I did get to know him for a long time, but man......that just seems kinda cruel to me.

On the original subject/question, as was said earlier, most airline/airline couples I know, or even airline/other profession couples, have a nanny or au pair. I do know one couple (her Fedex, him Delta), and I think their kid was old enough by the time they both started that they haven't needed such a thing. But young kids? I'm not sure how you solve that problem in a different way, unless there is a full-time grandparent or other family member local and involved at that level.
 
AKiss20 said:
You made a broad sweeping generalization well beyond the bounds of just airline pilots. You said “professional career.” Even for airline pilots, many women can make that work as well if their partner or family can help out. Or is the airline pilot on the go lifestyle with significant other at home or pulling the 9-5 only allowed for men?
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We live in a world with a divorce rate of 50% and 40% of children raised in single mom homes and your answer is to have a stay at home dad will sacrifice his career to raise the children. Good luck with that,
 
Yes. They make it work whether hiring a nanny, day care, etc. My wife (not a pilot) quit when our daughter was born. She worked midnights as a cop and the only way we would have made it work it without hiring a nanny would be to work opposite schedules which wouldn’t have been ideal since we wouldn’t see each other. Also half of her salary would have gone to day care so that was also a negative. Her pension would have been nice but luckily I’m able to make a great living with a nice retirement and we didn’t really want anyone else raising our kids. Ultimately, our plan worked for us but you have to decide what works for you and your family
 
Clip4 said:
We live in a world with a divorce rate of 50% and 40% of children raised in single mom homes and your answer is to have a stay at home dad will sacrifice his career to raise the children. Good luck with that,
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Your answer is for mom to sacrifice her career full stop. My answer is somebody has to make some career changes, but that it doesn’t have to be mom, despite people like you saying it’s always the woman’s role to do that. Alternatively, they could enlist 3rd party help (be it professional or familial), and that is also perfectly valid. That doesn’t make them negligent or absent parents, regardless what people like you say about it.

Every family has to decide what is best for them, and just because a solution doesn’t fit the archaic gender (or otherwise) norms of 1955, doesn’t make it worse than one that does. God knows there were plenty of absent parents and dysfunctional families back then, often caused by the norms themselves.
 
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AKiss20 said:
Your answer is for mom to sacrifice her career full stop. My answer is somebody has to make some career changes, but that it doesn’t have to be mom, despite people like you saying it’s always the woman’s role to do that. Alternatively, they could enlist 3rd party help (be it professional or familial), and that is also perfectly valid. That doesn’t make them negligent or absent parents, regardless what people like you say about it.

Every family has to decide what is best for them, and just because a solution doesn’t fit the archaic gender (or otherwise) norms of 1955, doesn’t make it worse than one that does. God knows there were plenty of absent parents and dysfunctional families back then, often caused by the norms themselves.
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Why pick on 1955? My grandmother was a nurse and single mom of two in 1955. Very hard working lady. Her former husband was a philandering over the road trucker.

One of my favorite tv shows growing up was in production from early 70’s to mid 80’s. It had trannys, gays and ladies with funny color hair in the cast of characters.

I think it’s funny people think we have somehow changed in the last generation. And these ****ing kids today think they have some great insight about life, the universe and everything.

Idiots. Nothing new. Need more history in schools.
 
Maybe because 1955 was before the sexual revolution, the rise of second wave feminism that was heavily focused on women in the workplace, the gay liberation movement which helped break down norms on what a family looks like? Maybe you need to go back to school and learn some history if you think nothing has changed since 1955 in this sphere. I’m happy to compare academic credentials if you think I need more schooling. Idiot (to quote your own words back at you).
 
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Clip4 said:
... your answer is to have a stay at home dad will sacrifice his career to raise the children. Good luck with that,
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While that happens, it's a false choice. Two professional parents with kids is a thing. Chores get split. You just need one income to pay for all the childcare and schooling and the other income to pay the taxes on the first income.
 
AKiss20 said:
Maybe because 1955 was before the sexual revolution, the rise of second wave feminism that was heavily focused on women in the workplace, the gay liberation movement which helped break down norms on what a family looks like? Maybe you need to go back to school and learn some history if you think nothing has changed since 1955 in this sphere. Idiot (to quote your own words back at you).
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You write with the authority of someone who witnessed the before and after first hand and carefully weighed the impacts of these societal shifts, but I'll bet that isn't true.
 
squincher said:
You write with the authority of someone who witnessed the before and after first hand and carefully weighed the impacts of these societal shifts, but I'll bet that isn't true.
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The plural of anecdote isn’t data. There is plenty of actual data to show that things have changed (see links below). Do you never speak on things you weren’t personally there to witness? If so, maybe you should be quiet about anything involving the experiences of anyone outside your own generation as you weren’t there in your own words.

Not to mention if you’re oh so desperate for anecdotes and first hand accounts, my mother and grandmother both have and my views have been partially shaped by their deep and extensive experiences as highly educated women with very successful professional careers.

https://www.bls.gov/blog/2021/celeb...h-with-a-look-at-women-in-the-labor-force.htm

www.dol.gov

Labor force participation rate of women by age

www.dol.gov www.dol.gov
 
AKiss20 said:
Maybe because 1955 was before the sexual revolution, the rise of second wave feminism that was heavily focused on women in the workplace, the gay liberation movement which helped break down norms on what a family looks like? Maybe you need to go back to school and learn some history if you think nothing has changed since 1955 in this sphere. I’m happy to compare academic credentials if you think I need more schooling. Idiot (to quote your own words back at you).
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Wow. Way to get all defensive. I did not call you an idiot or question your education. Seems like you’ve been posting on here long enough that just your time on POA excludes you from being referred to as a kid. But feel free to think everything is about you and then lash out with name calling because your reading comprehension skills are lacking.

I also think it’s obvious that societal trends ebb and flow with time but you need to go further back in history. You’re exhibiting a classic American centric view.

I don’t care what your educational credentials are for this conversation. The only thing required for this is basic literacy and a willingness to learn and read. The paper on your wall is marginally adequate toilet paper.
 
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Tarheelpilot said:
Wow. Way to get all defensive. I did not call you an idiot or question your education. Seems like you’ve been posting on here long enough that just your time on POA excludes you from being referred to as a kid. But feel free to think everything is about you and then lash out with name calling because your reading comprehension skills are lacking
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You quoted me directly, were making statements directly at me, and then made your statement about people making statements that things have changed (which is what the post of mine you quoted was saying) are idiots and need to go back to school. How else am I supposed to interpret it without anymore context from you? If you didn’t intend to lump me into that statement, maybe you need to work on your writing skills.
 
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GeorgeC said:
While that happens, it's a false choice. Two professional parents with kids is a thing. Chores get split. You just need one income to pay for all the childcare and schooling and the other income to pay the taxes on the first income.
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Your narrative is a false statement that children are raised properly in this arrangement when one parent is absent from the family unit due to career and the other is also in a demanding career. I think children are raised best when on parent is a stay home parent with the children to at least age 8.
 
It's such a shame that an honest and serious question about what should be a happy and blessed event turns into this.

Honestly, some of you need a spanking. And it doesn't matter if it is from Mom, Dad or a Nanny.
 
JOhnH said:
It's such a shame that an honest and serious question about what should be a happy and blessed event turns into this.
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Unfortunately dealing with that happy and blessed event full time is often looked down upon as a valid career choice.
 
AKiss20 said:
You quoted me directly, were making statements directly at me, and then made your statement about people making statements that things have changed (which is what the post of mine you quoted was saying) are idiots and need to go back to school. How else am I supposed to interpret it without anymore context from you? If you didn’t intend to lump me into that statement, maybe you need to work on your writing skills.
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I quoted you specifically because you picked 1955. No more no less.

I think you stopped reading comprehension about two sentences into my post and got angry. You must be Klingon.
 
MauleSkinner said:
Unfortunately dealing with that happy and blessed event full time is often looked down upon as a valid career choice.
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This.

I think the answer here comes down to your priorities. There's absolutely nothing wrong with being a stay-home parent. There nothing wrong with prioritizing family. Or prioritizing your career. But you must be clear about your values and priorities, and actually let them guide you.

How you frame the question says a lot about priorities. Asking, "Can I have a kid while being an airline pilot?" is different from asking, "Can I be an airline pilot while raising a kid?" Which Congress first? And if the answer is that you can't do both, which would you choose?

And in reality, the choice is not usually viewed as binary and there are many permutations of "making it work." But I'd go further and say that "making it work" is the bare minimum and shouldn't be the goal.

I also see a glaring omission: the relationship with the partner. If "making it work" with a kid means something like working opposite shifts, the partnership will definitely suffer and may ultimately fail. Your relationship with your partner should come first. So my first question would actually be, can you bring a child into the family while maintaining your relationship? And only then, what changes to each of your working situations would need to happen to make that work?
 
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