Sac Arrow
Touchdown! Greaser!
- Joined
- May 11, 2010
- Messages
- 20,356
- Location
- Charlotte, NC
- Display Name
Display name:
Snorting his way across the USA
I have a, how do you say it, certain weakness. For food. There is a reason why I don’t attend buffets, I go out of control. So at the office today, there was a technical presentation in the conference room over lunch time, and staff ordered sandwiches. For whatever reason, they ordered way too many sandwiches. Chronology:
12:35 p.m.
Sac Arrow gets back from lunch. D’oh! Missed that technical presentation. Oh darn. Oh look at all those sandwiches in there.
12:55 p.m.
Meeting breaks up and everyone returns to their duty stations. Sac Arrow meanders toward the breakroom to get some water. Passes the conference room. Hmmm, that sure is a big pile of sandwiches. Oh lookee lookee, this one’s marked "R/B on wheat". Let’s…. try it. Wish I didn’t eat first. Oh well, what the heck. Being a low carb person, I can’t eat the bread. So, I unwrap the paper, open the bread and gulp down the cheddar and lettuce laden roast beef innerds. Kind of like gutting a game animal. Toss the remains in the trash.
1:05 p.m.
Damn that sandwich was good. Nobody observed the Sac Arrow go for the first sandwich, so, what the heck, he gets a free pass on the next. Look to the right and to the left, duck in to the conference room and score a tuna salad sandwich. Stealthily retreat to the office and close the door, feigning a phone call. Open the sandwich. Gut the innerds. Except, this time, it’s tuna, so it’s like gutting a fish. Mmmm, Swiss I think. Toss the carcass in the trash. Throw a magazine over it so I don’t look like a slob to the casual observer.
1:12 p.m.
Oh man, that pile of remaining sandwiches is driving me NUTS. Kind of like, once you start, it’s hard to stop. Hmm, somebody moved them to the break room. Oooh, a ham and Swiss!! Mmmm. So far, I scored two sandwiches without being observed, so another free pass! Woo hoo! Walk back towards the office. Oh crap, someone approaching the corner. Sac Arrow ducks in to the men’s room, locks the door, and scarfs down the innards of a ham sandwich. This time, it’s like gutting a pig. Bury the remains deep within the bin so nobody figures out my game. How convenient to be in a location where I can immediately wash all the mayo off my hands and face.
1:20 p.m.
"Sac, there are some leftover sandwiches in the breakroom, want one?" Oh now that’s just cruel. But what the heck, a Subway salad and three sandwich innards isn’t THAT much. It’s not like I can turn the offer down, it would be so unlike me. Hmm. That roast beef sure was hella good. I think I could do another. Yep, last one, too, rest are all tuna. Go back to the office, eviscerate the sandwich and devour the innards. Well, there went my free pass.
1:25 p.m.
If I’m going to be bad, I might as well be very, very bad. Looks like a straight shot to the breakroom. Just a couple people conversating behind a glass window. Make away with another tuna sandwich. It’s not like people like tuna sandwiches, if they did, they would have eaten them, right? I might as well not let it go to waste. Do another sideslip move to the men’s room. Smell is thoroughly disgusting. But what the F, I’m on a mission. Chow down the innards, wash up, and go back to the office.
1:30 p.m.
Whoa, that was a really bad idea to eat all that stuff. Stomach is thoroughly queasy. Should do something to control the appetite. Maybe take up smoking or something.
1:35 p.m.
Mantra: You aren’t hungry, you are stuffed, do not feel that you have to solve all of the world’s waste problems by devouring excess food. Remember spin class this morning. Remember the tight blonde on the bike in front of you with the little purple panties poking above her spandex shorts that matched her halter top. You can’t have any of those if you eat too much of that. With that thought, hunger pains quickly subside.
1:37 p.m.
I’m standing in the stockroom trying to locate a pack of those little yellow stickies that I like so much. I have a direct view to the breakroom – I spy one of our guys looking both ways, grabbing TWO sandwiches and making a break for it! He’s playing my game!
1:40 p.m.
No more sandwiches. Game over. Might as well post a report to the POA. Sigh.
12:35 p.m.
Sac Arrow gets back from lunch. D’oh! Missed that technical presentation. Oh darn. Oh look at all those sandwiches in there.
12:55 p.m.
Meeting breaks up and everyone returns to their duty stations. Sac Arrow meanders toward the breakroom to get some water. Passes the conference room. Hmmm, that sure is a big pile of sandwiches. Oh lookee lookee, this one’s marked "R/B on wheat". Let’s…. try it. Wish I didn’t eat first. Oh well, what the heck. Being a low carb person, I can’t eat the bread. So, I unwrap the paper, open the bread and gulp down the cheddar and lettuce laden roast beef innerds. Kind of like gutting a game animal. Toss the remains in the trash.
1:05 p.m.
Damn that sandwich was good. Nobody observed the Sac Arrow go for the first sandwich, so, what the heck, he gets a free pass on the next. Look to the right and to the left, duck in to the conference room and score a tuna salad sandwich. Stealthily retreat to the office and close the door, feigning a phone call. Open the sandwich. Gut the innerds. Except, this time, it’s tuna, so it’s like gutting a fish. Mmmm, Swiss I think. Toss the carcass in the trash. Throw a magazine over it so I don’t look like a slob to the casual observer.
1:12 p.m.
Oh man, that pile of remaining sandwiches is driving me NUTS. Kind of like, once you start, it’s hard to stop. Hmm, somebody moved them to the break room. Oooh, a ham and Swiss!! Mmmm. So far, I scored two sandwiches without being observed, so another free pass! Woo hoo! Walk back towards the office. Oh crap, someone approaching the corner. Sac Arrow ducks in to the men’s room, locks the door, and scarfs down the innards of a ham sandwich. This time, it’s like gutting a pig. Bury the remains deep within the bin so nobody figures out my game. How convenient to be in a location where I can immediately wash all the mayo off my hands and face.
1:20 p.m.
"Sac, there are some leftover sandwiches in the breakroom, want one?" Oh now that’s just cruel. But what the heck, a Subway salad and three sandwich innards isn’t THAT much. It’s not like I can turn the offer down, it would be so unlike me. Hmm. That roast beef sure was hella good. I think I could do another. Yep, last one, too, rest are all tuna. Go back to the office, eviscerate the sandwich and devour the innards. Well, there went my free pass.
1:25 p.m.
If I’m going to be bad, I might as well be very, very bad. Looks like a straight shot to the breakroom. Just a couple people conversating behind a glass window. Make away with another tuna sandwich. It’s not like people like tuna sandwiches, if they did, they would have eaten them, right? I might as well not let it go to waste. Do another sideslip move to the men’s room. Smell is thoroughly disgusting. But what the F, I’m on a mission. Chow down the innards, wash up, and go back to the office.
1:30 p.m.
Whoa, that was a really bad idea to eat all that stuff. Stomach is thoroughly queasy. Should do something to control the appetite. Maybe take up smoking or something.
1:35 p.m.
Mantra: You aren’t hungry, you are stuffed, do not feel that you have to solve all of the world’s waste problems by devouring excess food. Remember spin class this morning. Remember the tight blonde on the bike in front of you with the little purple panties poking above her spandex shorts that matched her halter top. You can’t have any of those if you eat too much of that. With that thought, hunger pains quickly subside.
1:37 p.m.
I’m standing in the stockroom trying to locate a pack of those little yellow stickies that I like so much. I have a direct view to the breakroom – I spy one of our guys looking both ways, grabbing TWO sandwiches and making a break for it! He’s playing my game!
1:40 p.m.
No more sandwiches. Game over. Might as well post a report to the POA. Sigh.
