Zeldman
Touchdown! Greaser!
Scene: My wife announces she is leaving to go to Walmart. 10 minutes later I get into the shower.
Just as I am all soaped up, soap in face.....The phone rings...
Wife: The button doesn't work for the car.
Me: What button.
Wife: The one for the car.
Me: Ok...again, what button.
Wife: The one for the car to open.
Me: (guessing) The one to unlock the doors?
Wife: Yes, why don't you listen to me.!!
Me: (A loaded question, don't answer.!!) Use the key to unlock the door.
Wife: How to do that?
Me: Put the key in the cylindrical lock and turn it the proper way to unlock the door.
Wife: There is no lock.
Me: Look at the handle you use to open the door.
Wife: Oh....Ok, it unlock now.
Me: (silently... thank goodness) Drive carefully, bye.
Me: back to showering........ring.
Wife: The car won't start.
Me: Make sure it is in park. (This actually happened once)
Wife: It is in park. Now I can't get the key out.
Me: Ok, let me get dressed and I'll be right there. (I hurriedly dry off and put on some clothes and run to my truck to drive to Walmart. I find my wife standing at the garage behind the car) I thought you were at Walmart?
Wife: No, the car won't work.
Me: It took you 15 minutes to walk from the house to the garage, try to unlock the car and call me.??, is what I said in my head, but knowing better, I let that conversation die. I have noticed the battery has been a little weak lately. The car is 7 years old so I expect the battery to be going bad. First thing I try is to start it. Almost no voltage, suspect battery. I try to pull the key out and it will not come out. So I open the hood and find the positive post totally corroded.
Me: Ok wife, I believe this could be the problem. See the corrosion?
I pull the battery out, use a mixture of baking soda and distilled water to clean the post, then clean the cable ends, followed by checking and topping off the cells, After reconnecting the battery, the car still won't start. So I pull out the jumper cables and hook up to the tractor parked in the other stall. The car fires right up. And now the key will come out of the ignition.
Wife: I am so lucky to have a smart husband.!!
Lessons learned:
Being married to an Asian girl, I have long ago learned to try not to make sense of some of her arguments and even normal conversation. She speaks excellent Engrish but sometimes the subject gets lost in the translation. Then she gets mad at me when I do not understand what she is trying to communicate.
And Subaru keys will not come out of the ignition if the battery is dead.
But through it all she is a keeper.!!
Just as I am all soaped up, soap in face.....The phone rings...
Wife: The button doesn't work for the car.
Me: What button.
Wife: The one for the car.
Me: Ok...again, what button.
Wife: The one for the car to open.
Me: (guessing) The one to unlock the doors?
Wife: Yes, why don't you listen to me.!!
Me: (A loaded question, don't answer.!!) Use the key to unlock the door.
Wife: How to do that?
Me: Put the key in the cylindrical lock and turn it the proper way to unlock the door.
Wife: There is no lock.
Me: Look at the handle you use to open the door.
Wife: Oh....Ok, it unlock now.
Me: (silently... thank goodness) Drive carefully, bye.
Me: back to showering........ring.
Wife: The car won't start.
Me: Make sure it is in park. (This actually happened once)
Wife: It is in park. Now I can't get the key out.
Me: Ok, let me get dressed and I'll be right there. (I hurriedly dry off and put on some clothes and run to my truck to drive to Walmart. I find my wife standing at the garage behind the car) I thought you were at Walmart?
Wife: No, the car won't work.
Me: It took you 15 minutes to walk from the house to the garage, try to unlock the car and call me.??, is what I said in my head, but knowing better, I let that conversation die. I have noticed the battery has been a little weak lately. The car is 7 years old so I expect the battery to be going bad. First thing I try is to start it. Almost no voltage, suspect battery. I try to pull the key out and it will not come out. So I open the hood and find the positive post totally corroded.
Me: Ok wife, I believe this could be the problem. See the corrosion?
I pull the battery out, use a mixture of baking soda and distilled water to clean the post, then clean the cable ends, followed by checking and topping off the cells, After reconnecting the battery, the car still won't start. So I pull out the jumper cables and hook up to the tractor parked in the other stall. The car fires right up. And now the key will come out of the ignition.
Wife: I am so lucky to have a smart husband.!!
Lessons learned:
Being married to an Asian girl, I have long ago learned to try not to make sense of some of her arguments and even normal conversation. She speaks excellent Engrish but sometimes the subject gets lost in the translation. Then she gets mad at me when I do not understand what she is trying to communicate.
And Subaru keys will not come out of the ignition if the battery is dead.
But through it all she is a keeper.!!