You're the boss........

[Aztec Driver]

I never gave the boss a chance to get mad over something untoward happening. If I made a goof, I would walk right into the office and tell him I f'ed up. Then ask what I could do to rectify the error.

That is what started the mess, I told him what I had done, and he lashed out at me with, what I deemed, were inappropriate comments, at which I got irritated and reacted with strict work mode. In over ten years of flying their airplanes, I had never once damaged the plane putting it in or out of the hangar, and the damage was due to extenuating circumstances as well as my own carelessness and haste. I understood his frustration and anger, but his comments went over the line.

I did not want a confrontation, because in a confrontation, unless I am ready, things get said that I do not want to say. I was dealing with my irritation and did not need to "hash it out." When he gave me an ultimatum to "put up or you will not fly," it hardened my stance even further and I chose the latter.

 

[Henning]

You are the owner/manager of a small company. You have just a few employees, and each one responsible for multiple tasks. 2 of you are full-timers, and one is a part-timer. Several other part-timers round out the company in other areas of the company.

Your part time employee accidentally damaged a piece of equipment while working with it one day. In your anger and frustration, you said some things that were rather harsh and hurtful to said employee.

The incident was forgotten soon after, but you notice that your employee is rather cold shouldered to you and very curt and short. This employee is still functioning to a satisfactory level, and has not done any overt actions or mouthiness to you, just short, to the point, and all business. No pleasantries of any kind, just pertinent information, straightforward very short conversations, mostly by text, since the two of you spend very little time in the same area.

What do you, as the owner, do? Assume for the first part of this exercise that you, as the owner, cannot remember the episode described, nor your reaction to it. More additions to the scenario in future posts.

Apologize.

 

[Henning]

I just thought it odd that he would "suspend" my flight ops when there was no operational problems associated with my irritation at him. He kept reiterating that he will return my flight status if we have a face to face talk, but, of course, that isn't going to happen if I have to kiss his feet. I told him what irritated me after the fact, but I was not returning regardless.

I guess it is just time to turn the page on this part of my life. It was fun while it lasted.

I just wanted to get an idea if I was in the wrong here, and if his actions were justified. It didn't seem to me that it warranted this level of sanction, but I don't know how flight ops are in other companies.

What I don't understand is why you didn't tell him what was bothering you when he asked? Employment is like marriage, it requires open communication to work effectively. I don't wait for the boss to ask me what's ****ing me off, I let them know really quickly lol. I guess growing up on a car lot where we would have wrench throwing fight and cussing match fights then going to the bosses house for a beer were routine gave me a warped sense of perspective on work relationships.

If you won't communicate, I wouldn't keep you either because you're not being honest with me so I can't rely on you any more. I'd actually feel better if you cussed me up one side and down the other to clear the air. I cannot tolerate people who brood, they are a much greater threat than someone who will just get angry and stand up and get it out in the open.

Everyone has bad days, you both sound like you had coinciding bad days. The reason he doesn't remember is because he yelled at you and got it out of him, you never yelled back and got it out of you. Go yell at him, you'll feel better as well.

 

[Henning]

That is what started the mess, I told him what I had done, and he lashed out at me with, what I deemed, were inappropriate comments, at which I got irritated and reacted with strict work mode. In over ten years of flying their airplanes, I had never once damaged the plane putting it in or out of the hangar, and the damage was due to extenuating circumstances as well as my own carelessness and haste. I understood his frustration and anger, but his comments went over the line.

I did not want a confrontation, because in a confrontation, unless I am ready, things get said that I do not want to say. I was dealing with my irritation and did not need to "hash it out." When he gave me an ultimatum to "put up or you will not fly," it hardened my stance even further and I chose the latter.

Did you get a sex change? You're acting like a woman, holding grudges, silent treatment, brooding... "What's wrong honey?" "Nothing..." Is the cause of more failed relationships than anything.

What result did you expect from your actions? You are clear assed in the wrong here, and his actions are completely as I see necessary, especially since you are a primary point of contact with the customer in a competitive service industry. If you are displaying 'attitude', I don't need you; if you won't communicate with me, I can't keep you, simple as that.

 

[PaulS]

That is what started the mess, I told him what I had done, and he lashed out at me with, what I deemed, were inappropriate comments, at which I got irritated and reacted with strict work mode. In over ten years of flying their airplanes, I had never once damaged the plane putting it in or out of the hangar, and the damage was due to extenuating circumstances as well as my own carelessness and haste. I understood his frustration and anger, but his comments went over the line.

I did not want a confrontation, because in a confrontation, unless I am ready, things get said that I do not want to say. I was dealing with my irritation and did not need to "hash it out." When he gave me an ultimatum to "put up or you will not fly," it hardened my stance even further and I chose the latter.

Wow, ten years of work and it is gone over one incident? Sounds a little extreme. I would have told him why you were PO'd and which comments upset you. I'm thinking he was concerned about your mental state due to your change in behavior, which is why he gave you the ultimatum. I think he was right in that respect.

You broke his airplane, and by your own admission it was your fault, people don't react well to that.

However, flipping out on employees is never a good idea. Passive aggression, which is how I characterize your method of handling it, generally doesn't work out either. Communication on both sides of the fence would have probably smoothed this out. Live and learn.

 

[Henning]

Wow, ten years of work and it is gone over one incident? Sounds a little extreme. I would have told him why you were PO'd and which comments upset you. I'm thinking he was concerned about your mental state due to your change in behavior, which is why he gave you the ultimatum. I think he was right in that respect.

You broke his airplane, and by your own admission it was your fault, people don't react well to that.

However, flipping out on employees is never a good idea. Passive aggression, which is how I characterize your method of handling it, generally doesn't work out either. Communication on both sides of the fence would have probably smoothed this out. Live and learn.

Yep, the boss was possibly out of line to begin with, but that doesn't give some right to hold a grudge. The boss asked what's wrong but was never given a chance to apologize. Any guy in a relationship with a woman has been put in this situation and it is infuriating and leads to nothing but more fighting. In a marriage you put up with it because it's expensive to get a divorce. In a work relationship you don't have to put up with it, especially with pilots since pilots are dime a dozen.

 

[Arrow115]

That is what started the mess, I told him what I had done, and he lashed out at me with, what I deemed, were inappropriate comments, at which I got irritated and reacted with strict work mode. In over ten years of flying their airplanes, I had never once damaged the plane putting it in or out of the hangar, and the damage was due to extenuating circumstances as well as my own carelessness and haste. I understood his frustration and anger, but his comments went over the line.

I did not want a confrontation, because in a confrontation, unless I am ready, things get said that I do not want to say. I was dealing with my irritation and did not need to "hash it out." When he gave me an ultimatum to "put up or you will not fly," it hardened my stance even further and I chose the latter.

I would look for another gig. We all have moments that we are not proud of but if a manager is willing pull you off the line for his personal issue (not performance related) then that company would not be a place I would want to work. Can you speak to a higher up? If not, it sounds like a company I wouldn't want to work at. Personally, as an employee, I would not have any issues telling a manger what my issue with them was (I am pretty blunt). As a manager I would let it go if performance was not in question. One of my early lessons in my career is not every one is going to like me, justified or not.

 

[Greg Bockelman]

Bryon, I agree with Henning on this. He already said what I was about to post.

Bottom line is that you lost a job because you wouldn't talk to the man, for whatever reason. It is almost ALWAYS better to talk things out than to keep them to yourself. And the sooner the better. Otherwise they fester and things get worse than they need to be.

 

[LDJones]

Bryon, I agree with Henning on this. He already said what I was about to post.

Bottom line is that you lost a job because you wouldn't talk to the man, for whatever reason. It is almost ALWAYS better to talk things out than to keep them to yourself. And the sooner the better. Otherwise they fester and things get worse than they need to be.

This won't be the last time you have an issue with a superior. Best to figure out how to deal with it now.

 

[dell30rb]

I would look for another gig. We all have moments that we are not proud of but if a manager is willing pull you off the line for his personal issue (not performance related) then that company would not be a place I would want to work.

I disagree.

At Small companies, you don't have time to deal with an employee who is obviously brooding over a personal issue. One bad apple can make a real mess. Talking behind your back to others at work, to your customers, quitting unexpectedly or damaging your business in some other way.

 

[Henning]

If you feel you can't converse with him without losing it, write him an email, but better you man up and face to face him.

 

[Gerhardt]

Just be glad he didn't threaten to w/h the damage from your pay.

 

[paflyer]

Yabut, you, as the owner, do not remember the episode and do not know why this person is angry at you.

Then the owner has bigger problems with anger.

 

[paflyer]

Sorry, I guess I jumped the gun a little, from the owner's perspective. I am trying to relate to both sides of this issue and am trying to get impartial thoughts on what would be somewhat normal (if anyone here can be classified as normal ) responses to see if one of these individuals was out of line.

How is the guy who got **** on in anger "out of line"?

 

[Henning]

Then the owner has bigger problems with anger.

The owner didn't punch him. If you get angry, and tell someone in no uncertain terms, then let it go, it sounds like he has anger very well under control indeed.

 

[paflyer]

. I've got 70 employees and I can't remember raising my voice to an employee in the last 5 years, probably longer than that.

Maybe you have Alzheimer's.

 

[Henning]

Maybe you have Alzheimer's.

Although, the only time I raise my voice is to be heard across the deck when the wind is blowing.

 

[paflyer]

Then I'd take the individual to lunch and clear the air. Admit you don't remember the details but it is obvious your response at the time was hurtful to individual and to the relationship and for that you're sorry and would like to re-establish a good working relationship.

Yeah, this is not rocket science, it's Human Interaction 101.

 

[paflyer]

I never gave the boss a chance to get mad over something untoward happening. If I made a goof, I would walk right into the office and tell him I f'ed up. Then ask what I could do to rectify the error.

Better for you to tell the boss what you have already done to rectify the error.