Uh oh, ramp check!

Everskyward

Everskyward

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Everskyward
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The type certificate says "powered by EIGHT tiny raindeer." If you want to fly this back to the North Pole, we're going to need to see all eight.
 
I don't see a transponder in here. No presents for anyone inside the Washington ADIZ.
 
While 14,657,876,154 landings in one night are impressive, they don't meet the requirements for currency.
 
Flashing red light must be visible from all directions. One light on the nose is unacceptable.
 
"I know you have a long way to go, but if we hear you've exceeded 250kts under 10,000 you're going to have some explaining to do."
 
the TCDS do not allow operations on skis

do you have an STC for that 9th reindeer?
 
"It appears that the recurring airworthiness directive on Dasher's legs has not been complied with. I'm afraid you have to dismantle Dasher and replace him with another reindeer if any bad parts are found."
 
Does anyone have the joke about Santa getting his checkride from an DPE with a shotgun. I forget how it goes but the punchline was "your going to lose one on takeoff". Funny stuff.
 
I get this every year
 

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AWACSEng said:
Does anyone have the joke about Santa getting his checkride from an DPE with a shotgun. I forget how it goes but the punchline was "your going to lose one on takeoff". Funny stuff.
Click to expand...

Santa Claus, like all pilots, gets regular visits from the Federal Aviation Administration, and it was shortly before Christmas when the FAA examiner arrived.

In preparation, Santa had the elves wash the sled and bathe all the reindeer. Santa got his logbook out and made sure all his paperwork was in order.

The examiner walked slowly around the sled. He check the reindeer harnesses, the landing gear, and Rudolf's nose. He painstakingly reviewed Santa's weight and balance calculations for sled's enormous payload.

Finally, they were ready for the checkride. Santa got in and fastened his seatbelt and shoulder harness and checked the compass. Then the examiner hopped in carrying, to Santa's surprise, a shotgun.

"What's that for?" asked Santa incredulously.

The examiner winked and said, "I'm not supposed to tell you this, but
you're gonna lose an engine on takeoff."
Click to expand...
Blam.
 
AWACSEng said:
Does anyone have the joke about Santa getting his checkride from an DPE with a shotgun. I forget how it goes but the punchline was "your going to lose one on takeoff". Funny stuff.
Click to expand...


Well its almost Dec so why not?

Santa and the FAA
Santa Claus, like all pilots, gets regular visits from the Federal Aviation Administration, and the FAA examiner arrived last week for the pre-Christmas flight check. In preparation, Santa had the elves wash the sled and bathe all the reindeer. Santa got his log book out and made sure all his paperwork was in order. He knew they would examine all his equipment and truly put Santa's flying skills to the test. The examiner walked slowly around the sled. He checked the reindeer harnesses, the landing gear, and even Rudolph's nose. He painstakingly reviewed Santa's weight and balance calculations for sled's enormous payload. Finally, they were ready for the check ride. Santa got in and fastened his seat belt and shoulder harness and checked the compass. Then the examiner hopped in carrying, to Santa's surprise, a shotgun. "What's that for?!?" asked Santa incredulously. The examiner winked and said, "I'm not supposed to tell you this ahead of time," as he leaned over to whisper in Santa's ear, "but you're gonna lose an engine on takeoff."
 
"Don't worry Santa, we are going to clear all the military airspace this Christmas season so you can deliver all your packages on time"
 
"Have you complied with 91.103 for all 14,657,876,154 locations you will be landing? I assume this can be verified with a briefer's recording?"
 
KennyFlys said:
"Have you complied with 91.103 for all 14,657,876,154 locations you will be landing? I assume this can be verified with a briefer's recording?"
Click to expand...

No kidding, I hope Santa had a good net connection and uses DUAT for his brief, otherwise there will be a lot of disappointed children...
 
Bill Jennings said:
No kidding, I hope Santa had a good net connection and uses DUAT for his brief, otherwise there will be a lot of disappointed children...
Click to expand...
Assuming it took 30 seconds per landing point, a briefing would take a total of 2,035 hours and 43 minutes.

It could happen! :)
 
KennyFlys said:
Assuming it took 30 seconds per landing point, a briefing would take a total of 2,035 hours and 43 minutes.

It could happen! :)
Click to expand...

So after a 1 week vacation working just 8 hours a day five days a week he'd be ready for the next flight. :hairraise:

How good is that 51 week old forecast:dunno:
 
RMCN172RG said:
So after a 1 week vacation working just 8 hours a day five days a week he'd be ready for the next flight. :hairraise:

How good is that 51 week old forecast:dunno:
Click to expand...
Based on my own experience, about as good as the one ya got ten minutes ago.
 
Would Santa get upset because they're empty? Or, would the traditional "cookies and milk" do?

redneck_pics_xmastree3.jpg
 
"Hey Hey Hey!!! You didn't file your passenger manifest electronically at least an hour before departing for the U.S. Airspace!"
 
"Have you had any eggnog within the past 8 hours?"
 
Isn't it about that time?

AWACSEng said:
Does anyone have the joke about Santa getting his checkride from an DPE with a shotgun. I forget how it goes but the punchline was "your going to lose one on takeoff". Funny stuff.
Click to expand...

Let'sgoflying! said:
Well its almost Dec so why not?

Santa and the FAA
Santa Claus, like all pilots, gets regular visits from the Federal Aviation Administration, and the FAA examiner arrived last week for the pre-Christmas flight check. In preparation, Santa had the elves wash the sled and bathe all the reindeer. Santa got his log book out and made sure all his paperwork was in order. He knew they would examine all his equipment and truly put Santa's flying skills to the test. The examiner walked slowly around the sled. He checked the reindeer harnesses, the landing gear, and even Rudolph's nose. He painstakingly reviewed Santa's weight and balance calculations for sled's enormous payload. Finally, they were ready for the check ride. Santa got in and fastened his seat belt and shoulder harness and checked the compass. Then the examiner hopped in carrying, to Santa's surprise, a shotgun. "What's that for?!?" asked Santa incredulously. The examiner winked and said, "I'm not supposed to tell you this ahead of time," as he leaned over to whisper in Santa's ear, "but you're gonna lose an engine on takeoff."
Click to expand...


 
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Ok we need to see your medical. Also we are investigating a complaint that you are getting compensated for flying. Cookies and milk are not exempt.
 
Obviously in violation of crew rest requirements. Hope he doesn't land at Landmank: ramp fee will be more than a few cookies :)

Best,

Dave
 
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