Things You'll Never Hear (or see)

[FlySince9]

An end to death and taxes.

Death Ends Your Taxes... Well, after the estate taxes...

 

[FlySince9]

"Honey, you're right!"

 

[bigblockz8]

Free airplane!

 

[denverpilot]

Free airplane!

Actually there's one person here who has heard those words.

 

[numl0ck]

"The GA airplane involved in the incident had filed a flight plan."

 

[Rigged4Flight]

Actually there's one person here who has heard those words.

I think I read that he got some sticker shock when he filed his taxes, though.

 

[bflynn]

Honey, that dress accentuates every one of the 55 pounds you've gained over the last eight years and emphasizes all the wrong things about your figure.

No honey, it isn't the pants that make your butt look big.

 

[masloki]

No, really, that is too much to pay us for that car.

 

[Florida Cracker]

No honey, it isn't the pants that make your butt look big.

OMG! You thought it was the dress?

 

[Mafoo]

you're Jehovah’s Witnesses? Well come on in! Let me put a pot of coffee on, and we can talk about all this.

 

[denverpilot]

you're Jehovah’s Witnesses? Well come on in! Let me put a pot of coffee on, and we can talk about all this.

I knew a guy who sold Amway who'd do that. Heh heh.

 

[timwinters]

you're Jehovah’s Witnesses? Well come on in! Let me put a pot of coffee on, and we can talk about all this.

Winner!

 

[Rigged4Flight]

you're Jehovah’s Witnesses? Well come on in! Let me put a pot of coffee on, and we can talk about all this.

I knew a guy who sold Amway who'd do that. Heh heh.

I would love to just sit in a corner while they both work through their plan of attack on each other!

 

[Captain]

CaddyShack II was much better than the first.

 

[poadeleted21]

"Honey, why don't you just buy an airplane instead of renting?"

You're not married to my wife are you? My wife wouldn't have it any other way...

 

[kimberlyanne546]

"We have an extra seat in the plane during the competition (at the Reno Air Races), wanna ride with us?"

 

[Ken Ibold]

Hand me that piano.

Do what you want to the girl, but leave me alone!

 

[denverpilot]

Don't worry honey, it's okay if you leave the toilet seat up.

 

[Threefingeredjack]

A politician saying: "Yes, that ad was misleading and dishonest, I deserve to lose for being a low life scumbag."

 

[X3 Skier]

Everything my opponent has said is true.

 

[Owad1971]

"Ahh....You are good, there is no need to take 3 more check flights after the progress check (ride)"

 

[bbchien]

you're Jehovah’s Witnesses? Well come on in! Let me put a pot of coffee on, and we can talk about all this.

THIS! They are the reason my garage door stays DOWN.

 

[EdFred]

"Why yes, I would love to go out with you sometime!"

 

[dell30rb]

What's up that kilt?

 

[Ted]

My old boss loved going to the tilted kilt since his wife was in another state.

Mine:

"This shop has too much light, makes it too easy for me to see what I'm doing."
"I wish I spent less time with my kids when they were little."
"Why is this airplane so reliable?"

 

[frfly172]

Congress agreeing to live by the laws they pass just like those that elect them,a good start would be health care.

 

[DJTorrente]

What's up that kilt?

"Oh! lad I don't know where you've been, but I see you won first prize."
-The Scotsman's Song

 

[LDJones]

"Your tuition is how much? That's all??!"

 

[Bob Noel]

a bicyclist that understands the difference between share the road and hog the road

 

[Geico266]

People smart enough to know when to use their smart phones.

 

[Dan Thomas]

"I wish I spent less time with my kids when they were little."

Related to the deathbed wish: "I wish I had spent more time at work..."

Dan

 

[Dan Thomas]

"The speed limit here is 70. I will do 70."

Dan

 

[Bill]

"Why yes, I would love to go out with you sometime!"

I think Ed wins.

 

[eman1200]

"I really think we should have a threesome"

 

[Swampfox201]

It says here in my woman's magazine this couple had sex every day for a year. Lets do it!