The Evolution of Math

[John Baker]

INTRO . . .

Last week, I purchased a burger at Burger King for $1.58. The counter girl took my $2. As I was digging for my change, I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies, while looking at the screen on her register. I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me two quarters, but she hailed the manager for help. Why do I tell you this?

Because of the evolution in teaching math since the 1950s:

1. Teaching Math In 1950s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?

2. Teaching Math In 1960s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?

3. Teaching Math In 1970s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit?

4. Teaching Math In 1980s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20 ..

5. Teaching Math In 1990s
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers, and if you feel like crying, it's ok.)

6. Teaching Math In 2000s
If you have special needs or just feel you need assistance because of race, color, religion, sex, sexual orientation, age, childhood memories, criminal background, then don't answer and the correct answer will be provided for you. There are no wrong answers.

7. Teaching Math In 2012
Un hachero vende una carrtada de maderapara 100 pesos. El costo de la producciones es 80 pesos. Cuanto dinero ha hecho?

 

[Arbiter419]

 

[EppyGA]

That's great John.

 

[Mattl]

I was up last night watching "Repo Games"

One of the questions was "how many feet in a football field"

The guy said- " we'll there is 60feet in 20 yards.". Then he tried to give up and walk away. His gf said, well there is 5 20's in 100, so 5x60=300. He came back, said that's not correct, she said that was her answer and they got to keep the car. Sad, really really sad.

Another question-what is the closest star to earth. Answer given- "moon"
Justification- it's not the sun, it doesn't come out at night.

Correct answer- "sun" but we all knew that. It's a sad state of affairs now a days.

 

[steingar]

In my youth no one could do math either. The point?

 

[airguy]

A few years ago I pulled into a Burger King drive-thru and placed a large order for a group of guys at an event. The total food bill came to just over $70, I don't remember the exact amount. I gave the girl at the counter a $100 bill, knowing full well this would short out her mags, and sure enough she just stared at it for a minute like she'd never seen that much money in one place before. Finally she enters the dollar vallue on the register, stares in disbelief at the display telling her how much change I had coming, said something about "That's not right..." and asked for help.

A co-worker came up and said "Here, I got this", cleared the register and rang it up again, stared at it for a few seconds before grabbing a hand calculator, punching on it for a bit, and called for the store manager. The manager walks up, quickly appraises the situation, looks at my food order, takes the $100 bill, hands me my $70-something food order, and proceeds to count out $58 in change to me.

I didn't even try to correct them, I just said thank you and drove off.

 

[arealrider]

I seen that one with the sun question...few other funny one's also.....it's sad some people dont know basic history, science or math ! And I mean basic...

 

[JeffDG]

 

[Jaybird180]

INTRO . . .

Last week, I purchased a burger at Burger King for $1.58. The counter girl took my $2. As I was digging for my change, I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies, while looking at the screen on her register. I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me two quarters, but she hailed the manager for help. Why do I tell you this?

Because of the evolution in teaching math since the 1950s:

1. Teaching Math In 1950s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?

2. Teaching Math In 1960s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?

3. Teaching Math In 1970s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit?

4. Teaching Math In 1980s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20 ..

5. Teaching Math In 1990s
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers, and if you feel like crying, it's ok.)

6. Teaching Math In 2000s
If you have special needs or just feel you need assistance because of race, color, religion, sex, sexual orientation, age, childhood memories, criminal background, then don't answer and the correct answer will be provided for you. There are no wrong answers.

7. Teaching Math In 2012
Un hachero vende una carrtada de maderapara 100 pesos. El costo de la producciones es 80 pesos. Cuanto dinero ha hecho?

Very Funny John. For a minute I thought you were serious...Wait, what forum section did you post this in?

BTW
I put #7 into google translate and got this
A logger sells a maderapara carrtada of 100 pesos. The production cost is 80 pesos. How much money has he done?

 

[AuntPeggy]

Very Funny John. For a minute I thought you were serious...Wait, what forum section did you post this in?

BTW
I put #7 into google translate and got this
A logger sells a maderapara carrtada of 100 pesos. The production cost is 80 pesos. How much money has he done?

Two typos in #7. Try this:
Un hachero vende una carro de madera para 100 pesos. El costo de la producciones es 80 pesos. Cuanto dinero ha hecho?

[edit] Three typos. Try this:
Un hachero vende una carro de madera para 100 pesos. El costo de la producciones es 80 pesos. Cuanto dinero ha heche?

 

[AuntPeggy]

BTW. This belongs in the Friday joke thread.

 

[Jaybird180]

[edit] Three typos. Try this:
Un hachero vende una carro de madera para 100 pesos. El costo de la producciones es 80 pesos. Cuanto dinero ha heche?

A logger sells a wooden cart for 100 pesos. The production cost is 80 pesos. The money has Heche?

 

[Captain]

This video may be more appropriate.

 

[Pi1otguy]

In all fairness though, you're supposed to say "I have 8 cents" to stop her from hitting that button while searching your pockets. You never hand bills and then expect cashiers to do mental math after you find the change.

 

[airguy]

In all fairness though, you're supposed to say "I have 8 cents" to stop her from hitting that button while searching your pockets. You never hand bills and then expect cashiers to do mental math after you find the change.

Right, because that would be like getting the FULL clearance from ATC the FIRST TIME with no enroute amendments, just like in the real world, right?

"Cessna 2451N, turn left heading 330, vectors for traffic"

"Uhhmmm, wait, what? That wasn't on my clearance before takeoff, I don't know how to do that."

 

[DaleB]

Right, because that would be like getting the FULL clearance from ATC the FIRST TIME with no enroute amendments, just like in the real world, right?

"Cessna 2451N, turn left heading 330, vectors for traffic"

"Uhhmmm, wait, what? That wasn't on my clearance before takeoff, I don't know how to do that."

Yeah, but be fair. If you work behind the counter at BK, there is a substantial likelihood that you either don't have a lot of real world experience, or you're just not the sharpest knife in the drawer. Absolutely nothing wrong with that, there is honor in doing an honest day's labor just the same. But even if the person has more than the required mental capacity to do the math... after more than a few minutes doing that I know I'd put my brain on autopilot and it might take me a minute to react to something out of the ordinary. In my case I'd be distracted, pondering the sad chain of events that left me working a fast food counter at my age.

So, not-too-bright or just not all mentally present. Either one explains it. As for the rest, as my wife gently reminds me when I express my frustration with slow witted people... "You score in the 98th percentile. That means most people are just dumber than you. There's nothing they can do about that, but you can cheer up and cut them some slack."

 

[Piloto]

Chelsy is right. She was trying to consider the headwinds, road condition, tire inflation. What a brilliant woman to consider all those factors.

José

 

[airbornejohnny]

Chelsy is right. She was trying to consider the headwinds, road condition, tire inflation. What a brilliant woman to consider all those factors.

José

I would have wanted to stop the car, have her hop out and time how long it takes me to drive 80 miles.

 

[Bob Noel]

Chelsy is right. She was trying to consider the headwinds, road condition, tire inflation. What a brilliant woman to consider all those factors.

José

yeah, she would also be stumped by "who is buried in Grant's tomb?"

 

[Jaybird180]

This video may be more appropriate.

Can I have those 59 seconds of my life back?

 

[kontiki]

Chelsy is right. She was trying to consider the headwinds, road condition, tire inflation. What a brilliant woman to consider all those factors.

José

It's going to be nearly impossible to recognize it's the same girl the day she gets him in divorce court.

 

[gcd89]

A few years ago I pulled into a Burger King drive-thru and placed a large order for a group of guys at an event. The total food bill came to just over $70, I don't remember the exact amount. I gave the girl at the counter a $100 bill, knowing full well this would short out her mags, and sure enough she just stared at it for a minute like she'd never seen that much money in one place before. Finally she enters the dollar vallue on the register, stares in disbelief at the display telling her how much change I had coming, said something about "That's not right..." and asked for help.

A co-worker came up and said "Here, I got this", cleared the register and rang it up again, stared at it for a few seconds before grabbing a hand calculator, punching on it for a bit, and called for the store manager. The manager walks up, quickly appraises the situation, looks at my food order, takes the $100 bill, hands me my $70-something food order, and proceeds to count out $58 in change to me.

I didn't even try to correct them, I just said thank you and drove off.

That's weird. Managers of those places usually have a human level of intelligence.

 

[Sam D]

I seen that one with the sun question...few other funny one's also.....it's sad some people dont know basic history, science or math ! And I mean basic...

Or English. Sorry, couldn't resist.

 

[airguy]

So, not-too-bright or just not all mentally present. Either one explains it. As for the rest, as my wife gently reminds me when I express my frustration with slow witted people... "You score in the 98th percentile. That means most people are just dumber than you. There's nothing they can do about that, but you can cheer up and cut them some slack."

OK, fair enough, I see your point. My wife frequently tells me as well "Honey, you're a genius. To you, everyone seems stupid. Be patient."

 

[flyingcheesehead]

Oh my. Wow. That's where blonde jokes come from...

It's going to be nearly impossible to recognize it's the same girl the day she gets him in divorce court.

Doubtful. Read the description on the video at YouTube. Then, look at the 6.7 million views they've gotten. YouTube does do revenue sharing, and that'd be worth a very nice chunk of change.

I would be more worried about her being bumped off by a bunch of PO'd blondes, but they'd have to figure out how first.

 

[Captain]

They were on Tosh.O awhile back. I'm sure the views went way up after that.

 

[AggieMike88]

This has been around the net for quite a while. Still Funny. Fits the theme of this thread:

(PS. love the $70 food bill and $58 in change story)

On my way home from the second job I've taken for the extra holiday ca$h I need, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. In my wallet is a $50 bill and a $2 bill. That is all of the cash I have on my person. I figure that with a $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about people getting upset with me.
ME: "Hi, I'd like one seven layer burrito please, to go."
IT: "Is that it?"
ME: "Yep."
IT: "That'll be $1.04, eat here?"
ME: "No, it's to *go*." [I hate effort duplication.]
At his point I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny and
IT: "Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right back."

He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within earshot. The following conversation occurs between the two of them.

IT: "Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?"
MG: "No. A what?"
IT: "A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me."
MG: "Ask for something else, THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A $2 BILL."
IT: IT: "Yeah, thought so."
He comes back to me and says

IT: "We don't take these. Do you have anything else?"
ME: "Just this fifty. You don't take $2 bills? Why?"
IT: "I don't know."
ME: "See here where it says legal tender?"
IT: "Yeah."
ME: "So, shouldn't you take it?"
IT: "Well, hang on a sec."

He goes back to his manager who is watching me like I'm going to shoplift, and
IT: "He says I have to take it."
MG: "Doesn't he have anything else?"
IT: "Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can open the safe and get change."
MG: "I'M NOT OPENING THE SAFE WITH HIM IN HERE."
IT: "What should I do?"
MG: "Tell him to come back later when he has REAL money."
IT: "I can't tell him that, you tell him."
MG: "Just tell him."
IT: "No way, this is weird, I'm going in back."

The manager approaches me and says
MG: "Sorry, we don't take big bills this time of night." [it was 8pm and this particular Taco Bell is in a well lighted indoor mall with 100 other stores.]
ME: "Well, here's a two."
MG: "We don't take those either."
ME: "Why the hell not?"
MG: "I think you know why."
ME: "No really, tell me, why?"
MG: "Please leave before I call mall security."
ME: "Excuse me?"
MG: "Please leave before I call mall security."
ME: "What the hell for?"
MG: "Please, sir."
ME: "Uh, go ahead, call them."
MG: "Would you please just leave?"
ME: "No."
MG: "Fine, have it your way then."
ME: "No, that's Burger King, isn't it?"

At this point he BACKS away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner. I have two people STARING at me from the dining area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect. A few minutes later this 45 year oldish guy comes in and says [at the other end of counter, in a whisper]

SG: "Yeah, Mike, what's up?"
MG: "This guy is trying to give me some [pause] funny money."
SG: "Really? What?"
MG: "Get this, a two dollar bill."
SG: "Why would a guy fake a $2 bill?" [incredulous]
MG: "I don't know? He's kinda weird. Says the only other thing he has is a fifty."
SG: "So, the fifty's fake?"
MG: "NO, the $2 is."
SG: "Why would he fake a $2 bill?"
MG: "I don't know. Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?"
SG: "Yeah..."

Security guard walks over to me and says
SG: "Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you're trying to use."
ME: "Uh, no."
SG: "Lemme see 'em."
ME: "Why?"
SG: "Do you want me to get the cops in here?"

At this point I was ready to say, "SURE, PLEASE," but I wanted to eat, so I said

ME: "I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this $2 bill."

I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I was taking a swing at him. He takes the bill, turns it over a few times in his hands, and says

SG: "Mike, what's wrong with this bill?"
MG: "It's fake."
SG: "It doesn't look fake to me."
MG: "But it's a **$2** bill."
SG: "Yeah?"
MG: "Well, there's no such thing, is there?"

The security guard and I both looked at him like he was an idiot, and it dawned on the guy that he had no clue.

My burrito was free and he threw in a small drink and those cinnamon things, too. Makes me want to get a whole stack of $2 bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff. If I got the right group of people, I could probably end up in jail. At least you get free food​

 

[Jim Logajan]

This has been around the net for quite a while. Still Funny.

Reminds me of Steve Woznak's two dollar bill story:
http://archive.woz.org/letters/general/78.html

 

[Mattl]

This has been around the net for quite a while. Still Funny. Fits the theme of this thread:

(PS. love the $70 food bill and $58 in change story)

On my way home from the second job I've taken for the extra holiday ca$h I need, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. In my wallet is a $50 bill and a $2 bill. That is all of the cash I have on my person. I figure that with a $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about people getting upset with me.
ME: "Hi, I'd like one seven layer burrito please, to go."
IT: "Is that it?"
ME: "Yep."
IT: "That'll be $1.04, eat here?"
ME: "No, it's to *go*." [I hate effort duplication.]
At his point I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny and
IT: "Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right back."

He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within earshot. The following conversation occurs between the two of them.

IT: "Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?"
MG: "No. A what?"
IT: "A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me."
MG: "Ask for something else, THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A $2 BILL."
IT: IT: "Yeah, thought so."
He comes back to me and says

IT: "We don't take these. Do you have anything else?"
ME: "Just this fifty. You don't take $2 bills? Why?"
IT: "I don't know."
ME: "See here where it says legal tender?"
IT: "Yeah."
ME: "So, shouldn't you take it?"
IT: "Well, hang on a sec."

He goes back to his manager who is watching me like I'm going to shoplift, and
IT: "He says I have to take it."
MG: "Doesn't he have anything else?"
IT: "Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can open the safe and get change."
MG: "I'M NOT OPENING THE SAFE WITH HIM IN HERE."
IT: "What should I do?"
MG: "Tell him to come back later when he has REAL money."
IT: "I can't tell him that, you tell him."
MG: "Just tell him."
IT: "No way, this is weird, I'm going in back."

The manager approaches me and says
MG: "Sorry, we don't take big bills this time of night." [it was 8pm and this particular Taco Bell is in a well lighted indoor mall with 100 other stores.]
ME: "Well, here's a two."
MG: "We don't take those either."
ME: "Why the hell not?"
MG: "I think you know why."
ME: "No really, tell me, why?"
MG: "Please leave before I call mall security."
ME: "Excuse me?"
MG: "Please leave before I call mall security."
ME: "What the hell for?"
MG: "Please, sir."
ME: "Uh, go ahead, call them."
MG: "Would you please just leave?"
ME: "No."
MG: "Fine, have it your way then."
ME: "No, that's Burger King, isn't it?"

At this point he BACKS away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner. I have two people STARING at me from the dining area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect. A few minutes later this 45 year oldish guy comes in and says [at the other end of counter, in a whisper]

SG: "Yeah, Mike, what's up?"
MG: "This guy is trying to give me some [pause] funny money."
SG: "Really? What?"
MG: "Get this, a two dollar bill."
SG: "Why would a guy fake a $2 bill?" [incredulous]
MG: "I don't know? He's kinda weird. Says the only other thing he has is a fifty."
SG: "So, the fifty's fake?"
MG: "NO, the $2 is."
SG: "Why would he fake a $2 bill?"
MG: "I don't know. Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?"
SG: "Yeah..."

Security guard walks over to me and says
SG: "Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you're trying to use."
ME: "Uh, no."
SG: "Lemme see 'em."
ME: "Why?"
SG: "Do you want me to get the cops in here?"

At this point I was ready to say, "SURE, PLEASE," but I wanted to eat, so I said

ME: "I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this $2 bill."

I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I was taking a swing at him. He takes the bill, turns it over a few times in his hands, and says

SG: "Mike, what's wrong with this bill?"
MG: "It's fake."
SG: "It doesn't look fake to me."
MG: "But it's a **$2** bill."
SG: "Yeah?"
MG: "Well, there's no such thing, is there?"

The security guard and I both looked at him like he was an idiot, and it dawned on the guy that he had no clue.

My burrito was free and he threw in a small drink and those cinnamon things, too. Makes me want to get a whole stack of $2 bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff. If I got the right group of people, I could probably end up in jail. At least you get free food​

Strippers love $2 bills!!! Great story!!!!

 

[Tom-D]

If we are into money stories here is one.

Way back when we took liberty in Hong Kong we got 8 HKD for 1 american if it was big bills. such as a $100.00

I had a wallet full of $20s my co had 2 100s, I asked if he would like me to break them down for him.

He thought for a minute and said yes, so I gave him 10 20s for the 2 100s.

After we got to Lockheart rd, and into the China Kitchen I asked Momason If she would like a couple 100s she jumped at the buy. and gave me 800 HKD for each.

My buddy tried to cash the 20s and got 6 HKD to 1 American, he always though I cheated him.

In those days 1 16 oz Tiger Beer was 1 HKD. That's 6 -8 beers to the buck.

 

[Sac Arrow]

If we are into money stories here is one.

Way back when we took liberty in Hong Kong we got 8 HKD for 1 american if it was big bills. such as a $100.00

I had a wallet full of $20s my co had 2 100s, I asked if he would like me to break them down for him.

He thought for a minute and said yes, so I gave him 10 20s for the 2 100s.

After we got to Lockheart rd, and into the China Kitchen I asked Momason If she would like a couple 100s she jumped at the buy. and gave me 800 HKD for each.

My buddy tried to cash the 20s and got 6 HKD to 1 American, he always though I cheated him.

In those days 1 16 oz Tiger Beer was 1 HKD. That's 6 -8 beers to the buck.

In Vietnam, VND 20,000 ($1 USD) will get you a 16 ounce Tiger beer in an expensive place. In Singapore, $12 Singapore Dollars ($10 USD) will get you a 12 ounce Tiger beer at a cheap place.

You have no idea of how deep my hatred runs for Singapore. And to think they brew Tiger beer there.

 

[Cap'n Jack]

 

[bigred177]

This has been around the net for quite a while. Still Funny. Fits the theme of this thread:

(PS. love the $70 food bill and $58 in change story)

On my way home from the second job I've taken for the extra holiday ca$h I need, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. In my wallet is a $50 bill and a $2 bill. That is all of the cash I have on my person. I figure that with a $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about people getting upset with me.
ME: "Hi, I'd like one seven layer burrito please, to go."
IT: "Is that it?"
ME: "Yep."
IT: "That'll be $1.04, eat here?"
ME: "No, it's to *go*." [I hate effort duplication.]
At his point I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny and
IT: "Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right back."

He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within earshot. The following conversation occurs between the two of them.

IT: "Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?"
MG: "No. A what?"
IT: "A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me."
MG: "Ask for something else, THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A $2 BILL."
IT: IT: "Yeah, thought so."
He comes back to me and says

IT: "We don't take these. Do you have anything else?"
ME: "Just this fifty. You don't take $2 bills? Why?"
IT: "I don't know."
ME: "See here where it says legal tender?"
IT: "Yeah."
ME: "So, shouldn't you take it?"
IT: "Well, hang on a sec."

He goes back to his manager who is watching me like I'm going to shoplift, and
IT: "He says I have to take it."
MG: "Doesn't he have anything else?"
IT: "Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can open the safe and get change."
MG: "I'M NOT OPENING THE SAFE WITH HIM IN HERE."
IT: "What should I do?"
MG: "Tell him to come back later when he has REAL money."
IT: "I can't tell him that, you tell him."
MG: "Just tell him."
IT: "No way, this is weird, I'm going in back."

The manager approaches me and says
MG: "Sorry, we don't take big bills this time of night." [it was 8pm and this particular Taco Bell is in a well lighted indoor mall with 100 other stores.]
ME: "Well, here's a two."
MG: "We don't take those either."
ME: "Why the hell not?"
MG: "I think you know why."
ME: "No really, tell me, why?"
MG: "Please leave before I call mall security."
ME: "Excuse me?"
MG: "Please leave before I call mall security."
ME: "What the hell for?"
MG: "Please, sir."
ME: "Uh, go ahead, call them."
MG: "Would you please just leave?"
ME: "No."
MG: "Fine, have it your way then."
ME: "No, that's Burger King, isn't it?"

At this point he BACKS away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner. I have two people STARING at me from the dining area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect. A few minutes later this 45 year oldish guy comes in and says [at the other end of counter, in a whisper]

SG: "Yeah, Mike, what's up?"
MG: "This guy is trying to give me some [pause] funny money."
SG: "Really? What?"
MG: "Get this, a two dollar bill."
SG: "Why would a guy fake a $2 bill?" [incredulous]
MG: "I don't know? He's kinda weird. Says the only other thing he has is a fifty."
SG: "So, the fifty's fake?"
MG: "NO, the $2 is."
SG: "Why would he fake a $2 bill?"
MG: "I don't know. Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?"
SG: "Yeah..."

Security guard walks over to me and says
SG: "Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you're trying to use."
ME: "Uh, no."
SG: "Lemme see 'em."
ME: "Why?"
SG: "Do you want me to get the cops in here?"

At this point I was ready to say, "SURE, PLEASE," but I wanted to eat, so I said

ME: "I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this $2 bill."

I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I was taking a swing at him. He takes the bill, turns it over a few times in his hands, and says

SG: "Mike, what's wrong with this bill?"
MG: "It's fake."
SG: "It doesn't look fake to me."
MG: "But it's a **$2** bill."
SG: "Yeah?"
MG: "Well, there's no such thing, is there?"

The security guard and I both looked at him like he was an idiot, and it dawned on the guy that he had no clue.

My burrito was free and he threw in a small drink and those cinnamon things, too. Makes me want to get a whole stack of $2 bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff. If I got the right group of people, I could probably end up in jail. At least you get free food​

I love the baffled looks I get when I pay for something with a $2 bill. Any time I get cash at the bank I take all of their twos.