Spin Class Fail [rant]

Sac Arrow

Sac Arrow

Touchdown! Greaser!
Joined
May 11, 2010
Messages
21,565
Location
Charlotte, NC
Display Name
Snorting his way across the USA
So I walk in this cavernous hangar at precisely 5:13 a.m. this morning. A cavernous hangar with a wooden floor. A cavernous hangar with no hangar doors. It wasn't actually a hangar at all, it was the group exercise room at the gym. It's my day. I took the class from the regular instructor so she could get a haircut.

A haircut. A freakin' haircut. Who drives eighty miles to see their hairdresser and schedules a morning appointment six months in advance? WTF? If I need a haircut, I just show up at the haircut place and they give me a haircut and I'm like out in ten minutes. But okay, whatever, I've been skooled on this follow your hair dresser thing. This isn't about hair anyway. It's about spin cycling.

Imagine you're in the French Alps, riding in the midst of a peloton, ascending an immense grade on rough asphalt with cobblestone walls between you and a violent, falling death. Except that there is no mountain, the asphalt is actually wood, your Colnago is actually a Star Trac commerical spinner, and your peloton isn't Armstrong and the whiney little Landis, rather actually a couple of sweet little Asian chicks and this hot Latina stuffed in to a leotard that is slightly too small. And the fat guy. And a few others. But we're here for the experience. It's all about visualization. Today, is climb day. We're going to hit the alps. And we're going on MY playlist. That's right, if you love 90's Euro techno dance mix, I'm your man. If you don't, well, go to the other club and listen to Britney Spears or Lorde or some crap like that. I don't care. Take it or leave it.

I've got my bike picked out and set up. Iphone is plugged in to the sound system. Music is ready to roll. Fresh batteries in the mic. Some instructors like to pull all the bikes out and position them. Some are lazy and let the people pull them out. I don't like catty wompus, I like order. My order. New Order (that's on my playlist hahahahaha) so I have them all positioned, perfectly. And I even bothered to preset a few of the bikes. The fat guy, the two Asian chicks, the Latina, and Indian chick. We are ready to roll. Battle time! In walks.....

The Zoomba instructor?

"Hey Sac, um, why are.... all the bikes set up?"

"Wait a minute, what day is this?"

"It's Wednesday."

"Oh f**."

Anyway, my day is off to a great start. Yeah.
 
Last edited:
Once when I was a kid I woke up, got dressed, brushed my teeth and had some cereal. Backpack in tow I set out and walked to school. Mile and a half later in winter with a little snow on the ground I topped the hill to see the school and noticed the parking lot was empty. WTF? Oh, it's Saturday. Crap.
 
Captain said:
Once when I was a kid I woke up, got dressed, brushed my teeth and had some cereal. Backpack in tow I set out and walked to school. Mile and a half later in winter with a little snow on the ground I topped the hill to see the school and noticed the parking lot was empty. WTF? Oh, it's Saturday. Crap.
Click to expand...

Was it up hill both ways as well? :yesnod:
 
The title of the thread had me expecting to see a sad story where not enough rudder was used, or something like that.
 
Sac,

Please post video of you teaching this spin class. I am sure everyone here would like to see how you would run this.

David
 
flhrci said:
Sac,

Please post video of you teaching this spin class. I am sure everyone here would like to see how you would run this.

David
Click to expand...

The hell with Sac, let's see video of the sweet Asian women on bicycle seats.
 
At my gym, there are way more good looking women at zoomba than at spin. I think Sac missed a golden chance for a hook-up or two.
 
No pics, but at least I had the day right today. There was some hella juicy pop tarts present, I tell you.
 
Sac Arrow said:
... A haircut. A freakin' haircut. Who drives eighty miles to see their hairdresser and schedules a morning appointment six months in advance? WTF? ...
Click to expand...

My wife flies from Denver to San Diego to get her hair done. She's a hairdresser and she and her best friend do each other's hair. I guess there's nobody in Denver that can do what she wants?
 
gkainz said:
My wife flies from Denver to San Diego to get her hair done. She's a hairdresser and she and her best friend do each other's hair. I guess there's nobody in Denver that can do what she wants?
Click to expand...

Does she buy batteries before she goes? notthatireallywannaanswer
 
gkainz said:
My wife flies from Denver to San Diego to get her hair done. She's a hairdresser and she and her best friend catch up on things, drink some wine and eat some seafood all in the guise of doing each other's hair. I guess there's nobody in Denver that can do what she wants?
Click to expand...

Fixed that for you.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top