Six best smart-a$$ answers - Humor - some aviation

gkainz

gkainz

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Greg Kainz
SMART-A** ANSWER #6
It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline.
"Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.
"What are my choices?" John asked.
"Yes or no," she replied.


SMART-A** ANSWER #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."


SMART-A** ANSWER #4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."


SMART-A** ANSWER #3
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window.
"I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.
The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.


SMART-A* ANSWER #2
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up.
The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."


SMART-A** ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2006
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it - no other excuses whatsoever!"
A smart-a** guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says,

"Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
 
They're great, Thanks.
I would try some of them myself if I didn't already get into so much trouble by simply speaking!
 
A university linguistics professor told his class, "There are many languages in which a double-negative means a negative; and many in which a double-negative means a positive. But in no language does a double-positive mean a negative."

As the professor paused to let this sink in, a bored voice piped up from the back of the room: "Yeah, right."

-- Pilawt
 
Thank You Greg. I Needed a GOOD Laugh. and they got better as they went along. #1 is GREAT.
Dave G
 
Interestingly enough, #2 has actually happened. However, it happened after the joke had been around for ages (and the joke may or may not have been started by a real incident in the first place.)

Every truck driver knows that joke. Apparently, however, not every small-town cop does. :D
 
Sounds like a Jeff Foxworthy joke, followed by "Here's your sign!"

BTW, my daugher and son-in-law spent the day yesterday with Jeff Foxworthy recording some voice-overs for a new show the SIL is working on.
 
This one supposedly happened to a friend of mine.
He was driving on the freeway at way over the speed limit when a cop stopped him. Cop walks up all cocky and says "Son let me see your license to fly" so my buddy hands him his pilot certificate. Cop just grins and says " I asked for that" handed it back, walked back to his car and drove off.
Funny story if it is really true
 
I've already decided what to say the next time I get pulled over and the cop asks if I know why he stopped me:

"Because I'm black?" :rofl:
 
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