Sac Arrow
Touchdown! Greaser!
- Joined
- May 11, 2010
- Messages
- 21,565
- Location
- Charlotte, NC
- Display Name
- Snorting his way across the USA
So it's like this right okay, it's hella raining, I'm sitting home alone playing Doom on the Ipad and it's nearing lunch time. Blowing away all those monster-things is tiring and I'm getting hungry. Now, normally, on a Sunday morning I'm not blowing away monster-things while laying on the couch. I'm out riding my bike. Specifically, earning the burger that I'm going to eat for lunch.
No burger earning today. I give the twenty inch rims a quick wipe with a rag then hop in the Impala, and head over to my favorite place where I can get a salad. Not an all you can eat salad place, but more like an upscale restaurant like cafeteria. You get in line, order your stuff, pay for it then go eat. If it's not done by the time you pay then they bring it out to you. I like that. By the way I don't actually own an Impala nor to I any of my vehicles have twenty inch rims. It was a... someone give me a word here. A metaphor. Yeah.
Well anyway so I go in there, and I'm all about "hell yeah, I'm the only one in line and the sweet little Asian is going to be my salad girl! Woot woot!". I didn't actually say that, I was just thinking it.
"What would you like today?"
"A full order salad. With romaine lettuce and blue cheese dressing."
"Romaine lettuce and blue cheese dressing. Okay." She gets the lettuce and puts dressing on it. Then she comes back and I pick out my six toppings, which will go absolutely FANTASTIC with their blue cheese dressing and plus some sliced tri tip on top of it. Wink, nod, salad done, sealed with love. I paid for it, sat down, peppered it up and it was a fine salad.
It was a fine salad. A fine salad. And it would have been a GREAT salad had she actually put blue cheese dressing on it instead of the Italian vinagrette which I actually got. She got the romaine right, and she got the toppings right because I was standing there watching as I was calling them out.
Now, not that I dislike Italian vinagrette - I actually like it, but if I were in fact to have a salad topped with Italian vinagrette, I probably would have chose a different lettuce base plus a different set of toppings. But it's okay. it wasn't bad. I ate it. I didn't ***** and complain. But I got to thinking though - is there a message being sent to me here? All kinds of possibilities went through my mind. Why did she screw up my dressing?
1. Blue cheese, Italian vinagrette, same same. You people, your kind, you just eat steaks, potatoes, salads and hamburgers. Who care what goes in or on it. It's just a damn salad. Now at the noodle house we....
Okay stop right there baby - I'm not buying that one bit. First of all, you are at LEAST second generation here. You speak without accent. And you have that gnarly Western tattoo on your shoulder. Would Mao have approved of that? I don't think so. So let's move on to the next possibility.
2. I've seen you before (you have seen me before, and I've seen you) and you are NORMALLY dressed in biking spandex and your bike is normally leaned against the window so you can keep an eye on it when you eat. You didn't ride your bike today. You didn't ride your bike today because it's raaaaiiiinning.... you are in DIRECT violations of rules #5 and #9. You deserve to be shorted on something here.
Allright baby, technically, you are correct. But, rather than trying to defend myself on a violation of the cycling rules, I will point out that I COULD well be out Christmas shopping like every single other individual that has walked through your doorway since Friday that isn't an employee. I'm not but I could be that person. The law of averages is on my side here.
3. Okay I'm not calling you out on the rules or anything, but you ARE in a vehicle and not riding for whatever reason (and I annunciate what-ever because I AM at least a second generation Californian, HELLO....) and I will point out to you that blue cheese dressing is very fattening, and loaded with calories, and you aren't burning them off.... I'm just looking out for your...
Babycakes, stop it. You have no IDEA what my day was like up until now. Well okay I vegged out for a while but I had a HELLA INTENSE workout at the gym. Do you know what I did today? I did an hour of cardio, 45 minutes of weights, AND I hosted a spin cycle class for 20 people because their regular instructor didn't show up JUST OUT THE GOODNESS OF MY HEART. (Well not really, there was some mighty fine pickins' in that group, if you know what I mean.) Anyway I earned my damn blue cheese dressing. I hate being second guessed.
4. It was an honest mistake. Sort of like how your CFI tells you to push the throttle all the way in on your takeoff roll and you pull the mixture all the way out instead. I mean, they both have knobs, right? Well maybe yours doesn't but you get my point. Yeah you said blue cheese, and I grabbed the Italian vinagrette instead because, subconsciously, I was staring at those ripped taught biceps and bulging pectorals, plus I've seen your legs before in bicycle spandex and homes, you could audition for a Godzilla movie if you wanted. You reminded me of....Sylvester Stallone. That's, that's why you got the vinagrette. Yeah.
Hmm. Yeah, possibly. I dunno. How can I argue that one.
5. We were out of blue cheese dressing. I mean normally we have it, lots of it, but EVERYBODY, hello... was ordering salads with blue cheese and we don't get another delivery until Tuesday. I would have told you, but I was kind of ashamed to and I was hoping you wouldn't know the difference. Or that at least you would forget about it. I tried to make eye contact and get your mind off the food for a minute you know. I know your kind, and your kind likes our kind.
Yeah, yeah, I wish you would have just fessed up and told me though. I could have adapted. Really. I'm flexible. I mean, it really wasn't a big deal in the end, it worked out. It's okay baby.
6. I hate blue cheese dressing. I hate it so much that I won't even SERVE blue cheese dressing. And I won't tell you just to SPITE you. My two last ex boyfriends had blue cheese dressing on their salads on the day when they broke up with me. In this very restaurant. In fact, at that very table where you plan on sitting. By the way, if you ever actually get... you know... successful... with me, just for the purpose of full disclosure, I can be a bit of a controlling psycho. I mean, I'm saying this just to get it out there. I'm sure you have some issues too.
Well thanks for the warning. The tattoo was a slight clue, but yeah. Next time, can you just let the fat Indian guy make my salad? He hella hooks me up when he makes them.
I'll probably never know the true reason.
No burger earning today. I give the twenty inch rims a quick wipe with a rag then hop in the Impala, and head over to my favorite place where I can get a salad. Not an all you can eat salad place, but more like an upscale restaurant like cafeteria. You get in line, order your stuff, pay for it then go eat. If it's not done by the time you pay then they bring it out to you. I like that. By the way I don't actually own an Impala nor to I any of my vehicles have twenty inch rims. It was a... someone give me a word here. A metaphor. Yeah.
Well anyway so I go in there, and I'm all about "hell yeah, I'm the only one in line and the sweet little Asian is going to be my salad girl! Woot woot!". I didn't actually say that, I was just thinking it.
"What would you like today?"
"A full order salad. With romaine lettuce and blue cheese dressing."
"Romaine lettuce and blue cheese dressing. Okay." She gets the lettuce and puts dressing on it. Then she comes back and I pick out my six toppings, which will go absolutely FANTASTIC with their blue cheese dressing and plus some sliced tri tip on top of it. Wink, nod, salad done, sealed with love. I paid for it, sat down, peppered it up and it was a fine salad.
It was a fine salad. A fine salad. And it would have been a GREAT salad had she actually put blue cheese dressing on it instead of the Italian vinagrette which I actually got. She got the romaine right, and she got the toppings right because I was standing there watching as I was calling them out.
Now, not that I dislike Italian vinagrette - I actually like it, but if I were in fact to have a salad topped with Italian vinagrette, I probably would have chose a different lettuce base plus a different set of toppings. But it's okay. it wasn't bad. I ate it. I didn't ***** and complain. But I got to thinking though - is there a message being sent to me here? All kinds of possibilities went through my mind. Why did she screw up my dressing?
1. Blue cheese, Italian vinagrette, same same. You people, your kind, you just eat steaks, potatoes, salads and hamburgers. Who care what goes in or on it. It's just a damn salad. Now at the noodle house we....
Okay stop right there baby - I'm not buying that one bit. First of all, you are at LEAST second generation here. You speak without accent. And you have that gnarly Western tattoo on your shoulder. Would Mao have approved of that? I don't think so. So let's move on to the next possibility.
2. I've seen you before (you have seen me before, and I've seen you) and you are NORMALLY dressed in biking spandex and your bike is normally leaned against the window so you can keep an eye on it when you eat. You didn't ride your bike today. You didn't ride your bike today because it's raaaaiiiinning.... you are in DIRECT violations of rules #5 and #9. You deserve to be shorted on something here.
Allright baby, technically, you are correct. But, rather than trying to defend myself on a violation of the cycling rules, I will point out that I COULD well be out Christmas shopping like every single other individual that has walked through your doorway since Friday that isn't an employee. I'm not but I could be that person. The law of averages is on my side here.
3. Okay I'm not calling you out on the rules or anything, but you ARE in a vehicle and not riding for whatever reason (and I annunciate what-ever because I AM at least a second generation Californian, HELLO....) and I will point out to you that blue cheese dressing is very fattening, and loaded with calories, and you aren't burning them off.... I'm just looking out for your...
Babycakes, stop it. You have no IDEA what my day was like up until now. Well okay I vegged out for a while but I had a HELLA INTENSE workout at the gym. Do you know what I did today? I did an hour of cardio, 45 minutes of weights, AND I hosted a spin cycle class for 20 people because their regular instructor didn't show up JUST OUT THE GOODNESS OF MY HEART. (Well not really, there was some mighty fine pickins' in that group, if you know what I mean.) Anyway I earned my damn blue cheese dressing. I hate being second guessed.
4. It was an honest mistake. Sort of like how your CFI tells you to push the throttle all the way in on your takeoff roll and you pull the mixture all the way out instead. I mean, they both have knobs, right? Well maybe yours doesn't but you get my point. Yeah you said blue cheese, and I grabbed the Italian vinagrette instead because, subconsciously, I was staring at those ripped taught biceps and bulging pectorals, plus I've seen your legs before in bicycle spandex and homes, you could audition for a Godzilla movie if you wanted. You reminded me of....Sylvester Stallone. That's, that's why you got the vinagrette. Yeah.
Hmm. Yeah, possibly. I dunno. How can I argue that one.
5. We were out of blue cheese dressing. I mean normally we have it, lots of it, but EVERYBODY, hello... was ordering salads with blue cheese and we don't get another delivery until Tuesday. I would have told you, but I was kind of ashamed to and I was hoping you wouldn't know the difference. Or that at least you would forget about it. I tried to make eye contact and get your mind off the food for a minute you know. I know your kind, and your kind likes our kind.
Yeah, yeah, I wish you would have just fessed up and told me though. I could have adapted. Really. I'm flexible. I mean, it really wasn't a big deal in the end, it worked out. It's okay baby.
6. I hate blue cheese dressing. I hate it so much that I won't even SERVE blue cheese dressing. And I won't tell you just to SPITE you. My two last ex boyfriends had blue cheese dressing on their salads on the day when they broke up with me. In this very restaurant. In fact, at that very table where you plan on sitting. By the way, if you ever actually get... you know... successful... with me, just for the purpose of full disclosure, I can be a bit of a controlling psycho. I mean, I'm saying this just to get it out there. I'm sure you have some issues too.
Well thanks for the warning. The tattoo was a slight clue, but yeah. Next time, can you just let the fat Indian guy make my salad? He hella hooks me up when he makes them.
I'll probably never know the true reason.
........
......
