[rant]Short burger, long rant[rant]

Discussion in 'Hangar Talk' started by Sac Arrow, Jul 6, 2015.

  1. Sac Arrow

    Sac Arrow Touchdown! Greaser!

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    So the day started about five-ish (I slept in) and I got to the gym at exactly the same time as the little Filipina I've been trying to work for the last week and a half. Heck, after several months of observation and tracking, I finally managed to establish some convo while stretching in the otherwise empty Group X room. That thing is tight. And built.

    And probably out of my reach.

    Well as the day wore on, I showed, jumped in the car, turned on talk radio as I headed for the long trek to work, and immediately I started thinking of the only other thing I can think about for 23 hours straight.

    Food.

    That's right. I was debilitating, repudiating, validating, negotiating, classificating, and vacillating over what to have for lunch. Salad? Burger? Fish & "chips?" Thai? Vietnamese? Chinese? What if my (in the imaginary sense) Filipina was to accompany me? What would she like? Ribs? I'll bet she likes ribs. I can hella make ribs. But think about it. Having a Filipina is like having a Asian, and a Latina, at... at... at... at the same time! Yes! That's it, that's the key, not just a burger, but a DOUBLE burger!!!!

    Now I'm freakin' starved. But just to be clear, I'm in devour mode, not freak mode. I was in freak mode this morning. I need food. I'll be in freak mode tomorrow morning. And probably tonight depending on what walks in the door of the pub and how many drinks I've had, should the two lines of the drink curve and the sliding standards curve manage to come to an intersection. Usually as the day progresses it's an eight or nine up until approximately 6:00 p.m., dropping by a count of one each hour with an acceleration factor until it's just time to GO HOME.

    Well Carl's Jr. has this Double Western Bacon Cheeseburger with like two burger patties, cheese, bacon, onion rings, and some bbq sauce, so I opt for that. I walk in the place and the exchange goes something like this:

    Me: "I would like a Double Western Bacon Cheeseburger, lettuce wrapped please."

    Jamaal: "Okay so one Double Western Bacon Cheeseburger, lettuce wrapped, and would you like that in a combo?" He looked new at this.

    (Okay, I have to interject. I hate combos. I f***ng HATE combos. The last time I ordered a combo at Carl's they gave me a salad AND fries. I thought they overcharged me. So I don't order combos. Take your combo and put it, but anyway....)

    Me: "No thanks, just a side salad. To go."

    I probably didn't hold the little laminated paper to go number (19, nananana nineteen, that's the song reference by the way, should you wonder the relevance) more than a couple minutes when Sergio managed to throw the burger on the ready line and Franklin the manager scooped it up and sent me on my way. But a little more on the Paul Hardcastle song. The more I think about it, the more relevance it has. I was involved in the battle of Poon Tang.

    Something was wrong, I knew it. Just like when the little bald headed punk tried to make convo with my Filipina this morning, ****ing me off, the sack (and ultimately, later, the Sac) felt light. I get back to my office, finish my salad, and my worst fear was confirmed.

    It was a single. I was SHORTED A BURGER!! I paid for a double. I never eat a single unless it's at least a half pound patty. Who screwed me? Jamaal? He rung it up as a double. Sergio? Maybe that particular burger was someone else's? (Who else would have ordered a lettuce wrap?) Franklin the Manager? It was wrapped up in paper when he grabbed it. It was either Sergio or Franklin. I think they both have a share of the blame. I should have saved my receipt. I should have checked it. Kind like I need to put that bald headed punk ass kid in check. But what am I going to do. I'm not driving all the way back there to call them on it. Besides I already ate the burger and I tossed the receipt while I was waiting for it.

    I'm still hungry. That didn't cut it. It's awkward going back out to another burger place to order another single. That will probably end up being too much food. So rather than having a productive afternoon (which is a ridiculous notion, I'm never productive in the afternoon, I'm burned out by 1:00 p.m.) I will struggle with whether to augment lunch with another burger or not. Maybe someone will walk in with an extra burger. It's happened before. Heck, I've even been the burger offeror, when the burger was mistakenly made with a bun instead of with lettuce.

    I'm like all agro now. Like the skinny pit bull that has been deliberately underfed so it has a mean disposition.
     
  2. Bill Jennings

    Bill Jennings Final Approach

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    I love your rants, I really do, but it's easy to see that you're single, no kids, no hassles, etc., that stuff like this ends up being your big beef for the day.
     
  3. Zeldman

    Zeldman Final Approach

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    If the problems in my life were only so simple.....:yesnod:

    I am married to a Filipina.... they are not the quiet, subservient, obedient house wives that they are reputed to be....:no:

    Sorry... gotta run, I hear her coming....yes dear....
     
  4. narchee

    narchee Line Up and Wait

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    I didn't even know about lettuce wrapped burgers until these rants :lol:

    I need to try one.
     
  5. JOhnH

    JOhnH Touchdown! Greaser!

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    They are just like a burger in a bun except that they don't taste as good and they don't fill you up. Just ask Sac about that.

    But then, I don't eat bread or fast food so who am I to say.
     
  6. Hank S

    Hank S En-Route

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    Nice pun!

    Seriously, I'd be unhappy if I was shorted a burger. My last trip to Krystal last year, I was given a (dry) chicken sandwich instead of the cheeseburger I had been craving. But I got over it . . . Maybe you just need something in your life besides you, your bicycle and your stomach? :D And no, your ego doesn't count.
     
  7. Clark1961

    Clark1961 Touchdown! Greaser!

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    Don't be given' Sac a hard time, he is sorta chasing the Filipina/Latina/Asian of the moment...
     
  8. Sac Arrow

    Sac Arrow Touchdown! Greaser!

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    Well, an interesting thing happened this morning. I went back to the Filipina gym, and the bald headed skinny punk that has been following her in to the Group X room ran in to her with some really tall looking Filipino or hispanic dude. They were both about to throw down. It was quite entertaining really. I have pretty much deleted that as a target on my tracking radar. Tattoos aren't my thing anyway plus she looks like she works in a massage parlor, and I don't mean the kind where Martha would go for her $60 hot rock treatment.

    But back on the burger track, I did luck out yesterday at the Korean Burger Place, as they were cooking up a huge load of bacon, and there was nobody in the place. I asked for bacon on my burger and got TWO layers of it. I was in bacon heaven.
     
  9. Old Geek

    Old Geek Pattern Altitude

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    I think we need a "First World Problems" thread topic.
     
  10. Sac Arrow

    Sac Arrow Touchdown! Greaser!

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    Third world problems tend to be repetitious.
     
  11. Jimmy cooper

    Jimmy cooper En-Route

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    I really dig burgers! I like whopper jrs! When I make them at home I buy 80-20 Chuck and mix in chopped Bermuda onions, garlic salt and some Heinz catsup. I cook them on charcoal and add some sharp cheddar at the end. Dy. no. Mite. Any other suggestions?
     
  12. Sac Arrow

    Sac Arrow Touchdown! Greaser!

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    Yeah, go for the full size Whoppers. Whopper Jr's are for kids.
     
  13. Zeldman

    Zeldman Final Approach

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    Yes..... jalapenos...!!!!
     
  14. Jimmy cooper

    Jimmy cooper En-Route

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    I should not eat fast food at all according to the doctor but I sneak a whopper jr. Once in a while as I really like them. Yes, japalenos are good too!
     
  15. Sac Arrow

    Sac Arrow Touchdown! Greaser!

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    Fast food gets such a bad rap. You can eat healthy at most fast food places if you want. I'm a low carb guy. I either do salads, or lettuce wrap burgers (Carl's and a couple others will do that.) Your burger and small fries are probably still less calories and sodium as your three course meal at a sit down restaurant with all the bread and desert on the side.
     
  16. Morgan3820

    Morgan3820 Line Up and Wait

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    Really? How long do you think that we will be a first world nation?
     
  17. Clark1961

    Clark1961 Touchdown! Greaser!

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    you're still eating hamburger...
     
  18. Sac Arrow

    Sac Arrow Touchdown! Greaser!

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    You say that like it's a bad thing...
     
  19. rbridges

    rbridges En-Route

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    seriously. it's one of the food groups.