bigblockz8
Pre-takeoff checklist
- Joined
- Nov 8, 2011
- Messages
- 429
- Display Name
- Gore
This past week I thought that I found a CFI that is willing to work with me. After telling a new friend, Steve (CFI candidate from Fuel Tank FOD post), about my CFI issues he recommended his CFI and she sounded great on paper. Thing is that she is a bit odd. Her name is "Kevin" and this isn't why she is odd. Neither is her half buzzcut, half normal hair thing either.
Today we met face to face to discuss details about our planned arrangement. She owns a few businesses that are short handed time to time so during those times I will fill in. This is perfect! I meet her at College Park to look over her aircraft and to ride with her on the ferry flight to KGAI, a short hop.
We meet,greet,etc. After we talk she mentions that her medical has lapsed, she's going this week to get the 2nd class back in order so she can fly a friend's 206 for charters. Makes sense. I ask if I can look through her logbook as well as the aircraft's log. She relents.
Instead she tells me of her experience and how she owns and flies a Seneca as well. I ask out of pure curiosity how much ME time she has. She says zero. I ask how many hrs PIC she has in the Seneca..."I have just about 400." I drop the issue and we preflight the plane. Preflight is fine. We get in and start her up, taxi out.
Takeoff, I'm in left seat but she is flying. We land at Martin State instead of KGAI. She wants to show me where she wants to practice. I like the idea of an almost two mile runway, I can learn to grease it in and then work on shorter and shorter lengths. It's a warm day out and she takes off her overshirt and has on a tank top. A smell fills the cabin...Okay, I can deal with it, this is a Godsend to even have a CFI willing to give me a job and teach me.
My turn! We go around the pattern and while I am on final I smell ketchup and chocolate. I look over, she's eating a burger and enjoying a shake from Burger King! On short final now, she's chewing and talking but I can't hear her! I hear "sjagbksahaskhblzi nom nom nom nom *swallow* nom" and I try my best not to ruin an airplane. Next trip around and she is digging for nail clippers. *Sigh*
We wrap it up and head for KGAI. I fly cruise and boy was it fun! On extremely-super-duper-mega-ultra-short final and she says "your controls!" and lets go of the yoke. I grab it but we were in a flare when she said it! We are now bouncing down the runway. I would have made any lowrider club proud! I use elevator (we stopped porposing and flaps were dumped) to avoid the prop digging into the runway for a snack and when she adds full power I got how power on stalls occur. Nose went UP! Lowered the pitch and I'm shaking. Am I such a sucky of a student that I think my CFI is crazy simply because I can't accept my own mistakes? Or did this lady forget her straight jacket?
Going back around and then we land, her controls from final through exiting the rwy. She tells me to taxi to the pump. I taxi and as we approach the pump, 1800rpm! I pull it and hit the brakes+ elevator. I finish taxiing and after I shut it off I am thinking that I am going mental. Was this a dream? What's wrong with this lady!?!?!
We start refueling. She tells me to check the nose strut from "my" bounces. I do so and then I hear the engine start and I somehow ran backward while kneeling. I was pointed toward the NE if the spinner is considered N. I was clear of the prop's arc and when i look up, the prop isn't spinning! She had an iPhone with portable speakers in the other hand right next to my ear. Scared the crap outta me! This is when I have had enough.
Doing the sane and possibly polite thing I thank her, ask if I can split the gas cost and say no thank you about our arrangement. She asks why. I tell her everything that she has done. She looks at me and falls out laughing!
She is dying laughing and I start to walk away. I grab my stuff, thank her, and head for the FBO to call my ride. She runs behind me and says that this was all a joke. She explains it for me. Steve called her up and asked if she could give me a hard time and act a bit crazy. She agreed and then he texted me her info. I called her, scheduled everything and when this occurred, it was unknowingly to me on purpose.
Turns out she's a punk/goth bar owner, owns a few fast food places, and Kevin is her name in the Punk scene. She finally showed me her logbook, much to my surprise she did not have Seneca time but instead has eight type ratings,she's an ATP, and she has 20hrs as SIC in a DC-3! I ask if she still teaches. She doesn't teach anymore due to time
The body odor (or so I thought) was onions, she rubbed slices of em under her arms/neck area and then went out for a jog. In the end I kind of needed that prank to help me laugh at my situation. Glad that I got punked (yes pun (pun is in punked!) intended!)!
Thanks Steve!
Today we met face to face to discuss details about our planned arrangement. She owns a few businesses that are short handed time to time so during those times I will fill in. This is perfect! I meet her at College Park to look over her aircraft and to ride with her on the ferry flight to KGAI, a short hop.
We meet,greet,etc. After we talk she mentions that her medical has lapsed, she's going this week to get the 2nd class back in order so she can fly a friend's 206 for charters. Makes sense. I ask if I can look through her logbook as well as the aircraft's log. She relents.
Instead she tells me of her experience and how she owns and flies a Seneca as well. I ask out of pure curiosity how much ME time she has. She says zero. I ask how many hrs PIC she has in the Seneca..."I have just about 400." I drop the issue and we preflight the plane. Preflight is fine. We get in and start her up, taxi out.
Takeoff, I'm in left seat but she is flying. We land at Martin State instead of KGAI. She wants to show me where she wants to practice. I like the idea of an almost two mile runway, I can learn to grease it in and then work on shorter and shorter lengths. It's a warm day out and she takes off her overshirt and has on a tank top. A smell fills the cabin...Okay, I can deal with it, this is a Godsend to even have a CFI willing to give me a job and teach me.
My turn! We go around the pattern and while I am on final I smell ketchup and chocolate. I look over, she's eating a burger and enjoying a shake from Burger King! On short final now, she's chewing and talking but I can't hear her! I hear "sjagbksahaskhblzi nom nom nom nom *swallow* nom" and I try my best not to ruin an airplane. Next trip around and she is digging for nail clippers. *Sigh*
We wrap it up and head for KGAI. I fly cruise and boy was it fun! On extremely-super-duper-mega-ultra-short final and she says "your controls!" and lets go of the yoke. I grab it but we were in a flare when she said it! We are now bouncing down the runway. I would have made any lowrider club proud! I use elevator (we stopped porposing and flaps were dumped) to avoid the prop digging into the runway for a snack and when she adds full power I got how power on stalls occur. Nose went UP! Lowered the pitch and I'm shaking. Am I such a sucky of a student that I think my CFI is crazy simply because I can't accept my own mistakes? Or did this lady forget her straight jacket?
Going back around and then we land, her controls from final through exiting the rwy. She tells me to taxi to the pump. I taxi and as we approach the pump, 1800rpm! I pull it and hit the brakes+ elevator. I finish taxiing and after I shut it off I am thinking that I am going mental. Was this a dream? What's wrong with this lady!?!?!
We start refueling. She tells me to check the nose strut from "my" bounces. I do so and then I hear the engine start and I somehow ran backward while kneeling. I was pointed toward the NE if the spinner is considered N. I was clear of the prop's arc and when i look up, the prop isn't spinning! She had an iPhone with portable speakers in the other hand right next to my ear. Scared the crap outta me! This is when I have had enough.
Doing the sane and possibly polite thing I thank her, ask if I can split the gas cost and say no thank you about our arrangement. She asks why. I tell her everything that she has done. She looks at me and falls out laughing!
She is dying laughing and I start to walk away. I grab my stuff, thank her, and head for the FBO to call my ride. She runs behind me and says that this was all a joke. She explains it for me. Steve called her up and asked if she could give me a hard time and act a bit crazy. She agreed and then he texted me her info. I called her, scheduled everything and when this occurred, it was unknowingly to me on purpose.
Turns out she's a punk/goth bar owner, owns a few fast food places, and Kevin is her name in the Punk scene. She finally showed me her logbook, much to my surprise she did not have Seneca time but instead has eight type ratings,she's an ATP, and she has 20hrs as SIC in a DC-3! I ask if she still teaches. She doesn't teach anymore due to time
The body odor (or so I thought) was onions, she rubbed slices of em under her arms/neck area and then went out for a jog. In the end I kind of needed that prank to help me laugh at my situation. Glad that I got punked (yes pun (pun is in punked!) intended!)!
Thanks Steve!
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