Nut Milks to be reclassified as "Nut Sweat"

[CC268]

Addressing concerns that the naming practice could unfairly bias consumers against the products, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration issued a statement Thursday strongly defending the decision to reclassify alternative milks as “nut sweat.”

“There’s absolutely nothing wrong with making yourself a protein shake chock-full of nut sweat or letting your children consume a cup or two of nut sweat during the day.

"Hi I'd like a Grande Vanilla Latte with nut sweat"
"Nothing like an ice cold glass of nut sweat"
"Nut sweat and cookies is a great combo"

https://www.theonion.com/fda-defends-decision-to-reclassify-alternative-milks-as-1827722953

Oh man, I haven't laughed that hard in a while...




p.s. this a joke

 

[RyanB]

I’m okay with the name change, as long as we know what kind of nuts the sweat comes from.

 

[mscard88]

I’m okay with the name change, as long as we know what kind of nuts the sweat comes from.

The ones between your l....never mind.

 

[CC268]

This was seriously funny. I was laughing pretty good at work.

 

[FormerHangie]

Nah, instead refer to cow's milk as "moo juice" or "cow squeezins".

 

[N747JB]

I love Almond milk, but I’ve never seen a nipple on an almond!

 

[Omalley1537]

Nah, instead refer to cow's milk as "moo juice" or "cow squeezins".

I’m not sure why “cow squeezins” made me laugh that hard, but it did. Well played.

 

[LoneAspen]

I love Almond milk, but I’ve never seen a nipple on an almond!

They're really tiny!